Why it's great to be a MAN

* Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

* Your orgasms are real.  Always.

* Your last name stays put.

* The garage is all yours.

* Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

* Wedding plans take care of themselves.

* You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.

* Chocolate is just another snack.

* You can be president.

* You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

* Foreplay is optional.

* You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

* Car mechanics tell you the truth.

* You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

* The world is your urinal.

* Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

* You never have to drive to another gas station because this

one's just too icky.

* Same work... more pay.

* Wrinkles add character.

* You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

* Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

* If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

* People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

* Princess Di's death was just another obituary.

* The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

* Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

* Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

* Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice

anything different?"

* One mood, all the time.