PC OR NOT PC

How to speak about women and be politically correct:

She is not a babe or a chick; she is a breasted person.

She is not a bleached blonde; she is peroxide dependent.

She is not a bad cook; she is microwave compatible.

She does not wear too much jewellery; she is metallically overburdened.

She is not conceited; she is intimately aware of her hest qualities

 She does not want to be married; she wants to lock you in domestic incarceration.

She does not gain weight; she is a metabolic under-achiever.

She is not a screamer or a moaner; she is vocally appreciative.

She is not easy; she is horizontally accessible.

She does not tease or flirt; she engages in artificial stimulation.

She is not dumb; she is a detour off the information super-highway

She is not too skinny; she is skeletally prominent.

She does not have a moustache; she is in touch with her masculine side.

She has not been around; she is a previously enjoyed companion.

She does not wear too much perfume; she commits fragrance abuse.

She does not get you excited; she causes temporary blood displacement

She is not kinky; she is a non-inhibited sexual companion.

She does not have a killer body; she is terminally attractive.

She does not go shopping; she is mall fluent.

She is not an airhead; she is reality impaired

She does not get drunk or tipsy; she gets chemically inconvenienced,

She does not get fat or chubby; she achieves maximum density

She is not cold or frigid; she is thermally inaccessible.

She is not horny; she is sexually focussed,

She does not wear too much make-up; she has reached cosmetic saturation.

She does not have breast implants; she is gravity resistant.

She does not nag you; she becomes verbally repetitive.

She is not a slut; she is sexually extrovened.

She is not loose; she is morally impaired.

She does not have major league hooters; she is pectorally superior

She does not have thin lips; she is collagen dependent.