The Lucky Sex

• We got off the Titanic first.
• We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses.
• We never ejaculate prematurely.
• We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when he blow up our computers.
• When we buy a vibrator it’s glamorous. When men buy a blow-up doll, it’s pathetic.
• Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
• We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
• We can cry and get off speeding fines.
• We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
• Taxis stop for us.
• Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
• We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
• Free drinks, free dinners, free moving (you get the point?)
• We can hug our friend without wondering if she thinks we’re gay.
• We know the truth about wether size matters.
• New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
• If we have sex with someone and don’t call the next day, we’re not the devil.
• Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
• We can sleep our way to the top.
• Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
• It’s possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
• No fashion faux pax we make could rival Speedos.
• We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
• If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it’s because we’re being emotionally neglected.
• We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
• If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
• We can congratulate a team mate without ever having to touch their arse.
• If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
• We never have to reach down there every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
• If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.
• We have an excuse to be a total bitch every once a month.
• We can talk to members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
• If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.
• Our friends won’t think it’s weird if we ask if there’s spinach in our teeth.
• There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
• Gay waiters don’t make us uncomfortable.
• We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
• We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.