Things to do in the toilet

1.         Grunt and strain really loudly for 30 seconds and then drop a rock melon into the bowl from a height of 2 m. Release a relaxed sigh.

2.         Fill up a large flask with pumpkin soup. Squirt it erratically under the wall of your neighbour while yelling, 'Whoa! Easy big toy!'

3.         Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4,         Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under your neighbour's wall. Then say, 'Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?'

5.         Say, 'C'mon Mr Happy, don't fall asleep on me!'

6.         Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall where the person in the next stall can see it.

7.         Say, 'Damn, this water's cold.'

8.         Say, 'Hmm, I've never seen that colour before.'

9.         Say, 'Interesting... more floaters than sinkers.'

10.       Drop a marble and say, 'Oh shit, my glass eye.'