ü
When
people get on, ask for their tickets.
ü
When
there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and
then pretend it wasn't you.
ü
Push
the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
ü
Ask
if you can push the button for other people, then push the wrong ones.
ü
Hold
the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the
doors close and say "Hi Billy! How's your day been?"
ü
When
the doors close, menacingly announce that, "It's going to be a bumpy
ride!"
ü
Roll
dice on the floor and yell, "I saved!" then turn to the other
passengers and say, "Now you roll..."
ü
Drop
a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, and then say,
"That's mine!"
ü
Stand
in the corner and read a telephone book, laughing.
ü
Take
pictures of everyone in the elevator. Turn
off the lights in the elevator "to conserve energy".
ü
Leave
a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something
ticking.
ü
When
the doors close, announce to the others "It's okay. Don't panic, they
open up again."
ü
Push
your floor button with your nose.
ü
Stand
alone, and when the doors open tell people trying to get on that the car is
full and that they should wait for the next one.
ü
Swat
at flies that don't exist.
ü
Ride
naked.
ü
Push
the top floor button and announce that you tried to kill yourself yesterday
but the other building wasn't high enough.
ü
Talk
to people about the "golden age of elevators in the 50's."
ü
Jump
rope.
ü
Stand
really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
ü
Ask,
"Did you feel that? I felt a rumble."
ü
Clean
your gun.
ü
When
you're in alone with someone, walk up to them and say, "You're one of
them..."
ü
Make
racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
ü
Blow
your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
ü
Grimace
painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit,
all of you just shut UP!"
ü
Whistle
the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
ü
Sell
Girl Scout cookies.
ü
On
a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
ü
Shave.
ü
Crack
open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough
air in there?"
ü
Offer
nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
ü
Stand
silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
ü
When
at your floor, strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they
open by themselves.
ü
Lean
over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
ü
Greet
everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call
you Admiral.
ü
One
word: Flatulence!
ü
Stare,
grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got
new socks on!"
ü
When
at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn
motion sickness!"
ü
Give
religious tracts to each passenger.
ü
Meow
occasionally.
ü
Bet
the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
ü
Frown
and mutter "Gotta go...Gotta go..." then sigh and say
"Oops!"
ü
Show
other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
ü
Sing,
"Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
ü
Holler
"Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
ü
Walk
on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
ü
Stare
at a passenger and announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the
far corner of the elevator.
ü
Burp,
and then say "Mmmmm...tasty!"
ü
Leave
a box between the doors.
ü
Ask
each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
ü
Wear
a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
ü
Start
a sing-along. When the elevator
is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
ü
Play
the harmonica.
ü
Shadow
box.
ü
Say
"Ding!" at each floor.
ü
Lean
against the button panel.
ü
Say
"I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
ü
Listen
to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
ü
Draw
a little square on the floor with chalk and inform the other passengers that
this is your "personal space."
ü
Bring
a chair along.
ü
Take
a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh
mouf?" Blow spit bubbles.
ü
Pull
your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
ü
Announce
in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
ü
Carry
a blanket and clutch it protectively. Make
explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
ü
Wear
"X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
ü
Stare
at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
ü
If
anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!
ü
Pretend
to pick your nose while the person
is getting on and try to wipe it on
them Stare at their bad haircut
and go "you got sucked into the blender?
ü
ask
if you can use their suit for a Kleenex and when they say no...try it any ways
ü
Pretend
to pee in the corner and when they ask what you did say "Just cleaning my
colon leans on the doors so they
don't close and when they tell you to 'move you say "No way man, this is
my hang
ü
Put
a fake baby in a baby basket and set it in the doors path and walk away.
ü
After
the doors close and the elevator is moving, continually jump into the door and
cry "MOMMY I'M SCARED!!!""
ü
Suck
on a life saver for about a minute put it back in the wrapper and give it to
the person on the left
ü
If
there are little kids stare at them and mumble demonic phrases before their
mum calls security
ü
Stand
with your head out looking around and have the doors hit you... smear ketchup
on your face and fall to the ground
ü
Stick
your hand in your pants and pretend to scratch your crotch and grunt loudly
ü
Keep
looking into your pants, then ask the person next to you if they wanna look
ü
Stand
right in front of the door when it opens and pick up a penny not letting
anyone out and take the elevator up again
ü
Start
dancing to the music and go nuts
ü
Hold
up a sign and look at it make sure it says "out of order" after
everyone is on and ask them what its supposed to mean
ü
If
some one is in a wheel chair say "Cheater"
ü
Jump
a lot. For the whole trip. Hard.
ü
When
they get on you ask for $5 boarding money.
ü
Grin
inanely at them for the whole trip, giggling occasionally, then announce,
"You're stupid."
ü
Bring
a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator
ü
Move
your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an
appointment.
ü
Pretend
you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the
passengers.
ü
Call
out 'group hug', and then enforce it.
ü
Say
to everyone, "Hi! My name is….." And under your breath so they
can't hear. "And I shall have your essence!" Pretend you didn't say
anything.
ü
Wear
underwear on your head and tell everyone, "I am Underwear head, Champion
of Truth, Justice, and Suspender Belts!"