Things to avoid doing while living in a top-secret base

  ~All us nutters in Ms Jackson's Biol class

ü        Stick gum on the muzzle of the guns, just to see if they make a bubble when fired.

ü        Sleepwalk... naked

ü        Order pizza and arrange to have it delivered

ü        Put stickers up everywhere because you're bored

ü        Advertise spare rooms in the paper

ü        Jam boots, boxes, dolls, raincoats, chairs, rollerblades etc into the automatic doors to see if it'll make them stick

ü        Get caught using the opposite sex's facilities

ü        Take a top-secret time-travel vehicle out for a spin because you want to impress a guy

ü        Write a threatening letter and give a return address

ü        Abuse your power to bomb the home-towns of people who annoy you

ü        Use to $40 billion computer to play Solitaire

ü        Decide to use the master computer to send war threats all over the world because 'it might be kind of fun'

ü        Invite your friends around to have a bash, and accidentally spill Pepsi on the computer, launching 17 nuclear missiles that abolish the North Pole and most of the South.

ü        Hang signs everywhere proclaiming in big, red letters 'Secret base – do not enter here'

ü        Bring the high-powered experimental 'laser ray of death' to school to see if it can burn through the blackboard

ü        Decide to brighten up the troops uniforms and send them out looking like Malibu Barbie

ü        Put top-secret papers in the bin for the whole world to see

ü        Hand in a detailed security plan of the entire base for an extra-credit assignment at school.

ü        Grease the floor and when the agents slip and break their arms and legs on the way out on a mission, announce that want to take their place

ü        Spray paint the walls and floor fluro-green, orange and pink because you think the décor is too depressing.

ü        When you activate a small bomb by mistake, flush it down the toilet and think it's going to be all okay.

ü        Play your cd's so loud that the poison gas alert can't be heard

ü        Assume that all the people running around with gas-masks and firing heavy-artillery weapons are just playing Cops and Robbers

ü        When sweet-talking to your boyfriend/girlfriend on the phone, accidentally press the button which broadcasts the conversation over radio-stations, intercoms and elevators all over the world.

ü        Scribble your crush's name all over the history-making peace documents.

ü        Kick the sidekick because you had a bad day at school.

ü        Play with the DNA of a creature that you don't know or understand, thereby creating a gigantic creature that quickly demolishes three cities.

ü        Admit to playing with the DNA of a creature that you didn't know or understand, creating a gigantic creature that ended up demolishing three cities.

ü        Interrupt the ever-so-important-big-screen video peace conference with half the world powers, halfway through so that you can watch cartoons

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