From		: Chihuahua
Date		: 18th January 2000
Disclaimer	: I don’t own any of the TRA:JQ characters and no money is being 
made out of this fic. The brands used in this fic belong to their owners. 
Don’t sue me.
Category	: F, H
Rating		: PG is advised for this fic. I'm sorry, I have to rephrase that. 
Parental Guidance is a must!
Archiver’s Permission: Granted to those who want it. Just inform me on where 
it can be found.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

	Benton sighed and threw away a tweed jacket. He had made up his mind to 
change his wardrobe for the new millennium. He sent a cream coloured shirt 
flying across the room, onto a huge pile of clothes that lay on the floor. 
He looked into his empty closet and smiled, feeling satisfied. He began 
replacing the space in his closet with clothes he had bought through online 
departments.
	Brightly coloured T-shirts took the place of his soft coloured shirts, his 
plain boxer shorts were replaced by neon coloured thongs and bikini briefs. 
His comfortable leather shoes, softened by age were replaced by sandals and 
sneakers of contrasting colours. Benton picked up a box, and smiled as he 
read the label.
	It was guaranteed to cover his salt and pepper hair. His smile became wider 
as he continued reading the label. He had bought the most outrageous colour 
he could find in the pharmacy. Even the sales assistant was shocked when he 
purchased the box of hair dye.
	Benton looked at his watch. It was three hours to the new millennium, and 
he wanted to surprise the others with his new look. He packed all the 
discarded clothes and set them aside. He would take them to the charity 
centre the next day.
	Then, he began to wrap several other things he had purchased for the 
others. It was tradition to give a gift to everybody on New Year.

**********************************************************************************
	Race dug through his drawers, tossing out boxes of condoms and everything 
else that had to do with contraception. His New Year’s resolution was to be 
a better father figure to Jessie and stop his playboy ways.
	Finally, satisfied that he had thrown out every item he didn’t want, he sat 
down on his bed. The floor was littered with boxes of Durex and other 
brands. After a minute, Race got up and began shoving all the boxes into a 
huge paper bag. He sat the bag aside. He would throw it out tomorrow. He 
checked his watch. Three more hours till New Year, he thought.
	He began wrapping  four packages, labelling them with the recipient’s name. 
Satisfied at last, he decided to grab a snack.

**********************************************************************************
	Jonny took out a plastic bag from his pocket. He began stuffing it with the 
bottles of hair bleach that had accumulated over the years. He ran a hand 
threw his blond hair as he threw the bottles away. He picked up his bottle 
of colour refreshing shampoo and threw it into the bag too.
	Jonny had decided to lose his blond image for the new millennium. All his 
posters of blond supermodels, actresses, singers, talk show hosts and sports 
stars lay in a crumpled heap on the floor. Jonny began stuffing the crumpled 
posters and pin-ups into the plastic bag.
	"Bye, bye, blond boy!" Jonny declared, tossing the bag across the room.
	He picked up a box and opened it. He was a professional when it came to 
hair colouring, so he did not bother to read the instructions. Instead, he 
went straight to his bathroom and started his transformation. He whistled a 
happy tune as he mixed the solution in a plastic bottle that was provided.

**********************************************************************************
	Jessie was busy tossing out hangers and clothes. She was getting rid of her 
hideous pink wardrobe.
	"I should done this ages ago!" she cried, tossing a pink bathing suit onto 
her bed. A barrage of pink garments came flying out- pink sweaters, pink 
sweatshirts, pink miniskirts, pink blouses, pink underwear and pink shorts.
	Next, she dug into her accessory drawer. She tossed out anything pink or 
had the slightest hint of pink. Pink scrunchies, pink hair grips, pink 
earrings, pink nail polish and even pink hairbrushes came flying out.
	Satisfied, Jessie bundled everything that had been discarded into a huge 
box, labelled "PINK". She carried a dozen or so paper bags over to her 
closet. Then, she began hanging various articles of clothing in black and 
white on hangers.
	At last, she picked out a black dress that came down to her knees. She went 
into her bathroom and changed into it. Then, she began to apply her make-up. 
She had decided on contrasting colours and her face was made up with white 
translucent powder, icy blue eye shadow and her full lips were painted a 
frosty blue.
	The final result was stunning. Jessie looked like a snow queen. She began 
painting her nails a frosty greenish blue colour to complete the look. Her 
red hair was pulled back and piled stylishly on her head, streaked with 
azure hair mascara.
	Wait till Dad sees this, she thought, smiling evilly at how she expected 
him to react.

**********************************************************************************
	Hadji pulled off his turban and revealed his new hair-do. He knew according 
to his religion that he was not supposed to cut his hair. But for the new 
millennium, he had cut his hair short enough to spike and highlighted the 
front part with blonde.
	He had also replaced some of his old clothes with some trendy new ones. He 
now wore a banana yellow T-shirt and black cargo pants. On his bed lay a new 
book with the picture of one of the crudest people on Earth.
	"How to talk dirt and cuss!" read Hadji as he picked up the book. He began 
reading the book. "Chapter one..."
	At his feet, a paper bagful of presents lay. Hadji was so absorbed in his 
book that he didn’t move until the grandfather clock outside his room chimed 
twelve.

**********************************************************************************
	Bandit lay lazily by the fireplace. He was perfectly comfortable on a soft 
cushion. His New Year’s resolution was something that he had picked up from 
his mentor, Garfield. Eat and sleep more.
	Suddenly, Bandit heard the thundering of feet from upstairs as the 
grandfather clock chimed twelve.
	"Happy New Year!" shouted the entire household, not noticing the changes in 
each other for a moment.
	Then, Jonny gave a frightened gasp. He pointed in horror at his father’s 
new attire.
	Benton smiles at everybody, his hazel eyes twinkling behind reflective sun 
shades. He wore A fluorescent orange T-shirt and glow in the dark green 
bermudas. A pair of yellow and purple sneakers covered his feet. "What’s 
wrong?" he asked, addressing everybody.
	"What’s with the outfit, Dr. Quest?" asked Jessie. She pointed at Benton’s 
clothes.
	"Please, don’t call me Dr. Quest, Jess. I’m now known as Ben!" said Benton.
	"Yeah, but.... THE HAIR!" screamed Jonny, pointing at Benton’s green head.
	"Like it? I thought it looked rad." Benton grinned sheepishly.
	"Rad! More like chlorophyll!" screamed Jonny.
	"Well, accept it. It’s not going to change it colour any time soon," said 
Benton, sounding like a rebellious teenager.
	"Jessica Estelle Bannon! What is the meaning of this?" demanded Race. He 
folded his arms across his chest and looked at her severely.
	"I’m just changing my image, Daddy," Jessie said, deciding to play innocent 
with her father.
	"You are three years away from eighteen, young lady. That means you are 
still supposed to listen to me. Do you want to spend the next three years 
grounded?"
	"No, Daddy. I just want to change my image. I promise that I won’t do 
anything so drastic everyday. I’ll lose the nail polish and hairstyle," 
pleaded Jessie.
	"I’m glad you know that this is drastic. I’ll let you keep the look if you 
lose the eye shadow too."
	"Thanks, Dad!" screamed Jessie, hugging her father. "So, what happened to 
Bleach Head?" she asked, turning to Jonny.
	"I decided to lose the blond. I prefer my new look," replied Jonny, running 
a hand through his jet black waves. "Like it?"
	"It’s different," Jessie said.
	"Hey, are you people going to pay any attention to me?" asked Hadji. "Like 
the new hair?"
	"Where’s the turban, Hadji?" asked Benton. His voice was calm.
	"I dumped it. The look was getting a little old."
	"Nice hairdo, Hadj," Jonny commented, approvingly. "A change I was waiting 
for a long time to see."
	"What’s your New Year’s resolution, Race?" asked Benton, pushing his sun 
shades up.
	"I’ve decided to enjoy the single life, alone! No more women. For now that 
is," said Race. He smiled at Jessie. "I’m serious!"
	"Okay, Dad. Erm, are we going to open out presents or not?" Jessie asked.
	"Oh yeah, here’s one for you. And one for you, Pops," said Jonny, 
distributing the neatly wrapped packages.
	"Ben," corrected Benton. "And thanks."
	"Okay, Ben. And you’re welcome." Jonny rolled his eyes. He still couldn’t 
believe what his father had done. The hair was definitely extreme.
	Soon, they all stood knee deep in wrapping paper. Loud groans echoed in the 
house.
	"PINK! I can’t stand it anymore!" screamed Jessie, tossing a pink accessory 
kit to a corner. A pink blouse followed and then a packet of pink hair 
grips. She glared at Jonny and tossed a pink teddy bear into the corner as 
well.
	"Hair bleach!" moaned Jonny, glaring at the others. A box of Loreal’s 
Excellence Cream flew on top of Jessie’s pink things. Another of Wella’s 
Soft Colour went soaring into the air and two bottles of Intensive Care 
shampoo went with it. A book went flying too, narrowly missing Hadji. Hadji 
caught it and read the cover.
	"Blonde Hairstyles for the New Millennium," he read. He snickered and threw 
it behind him.
	"Durex, Durex, Durex!" screamed Race, tossing a twelve pack of condoms at 
Jessie. "What next?" he grumbled. "A year’s subscription to Playboy!" He 
yelled, sending a letter flying.
	Race frowned at Jonny and Benton who were looking a little worried now. 
"What did you two get me this time?"
	"Erm... I don’t think you’ll like it," mumbled Jonny. He disappeared for a 
moment and dragged in a huge cake.
	Suddenly, the top popped open, sending bit of icing flying around. A 
scantily dressed woman jumped out and began dance. Jessie hid her face and 
Hadji turned around. Jonny and Benton started towards the door.
	"Where do you two think you’re going?" demanded Race. He paid the stripper 
and asked her to leave at once. "I want you to finish opening your presents 
before I deal with you, Benton," Race said through gritted teeth.
	Benton began picking up his gifts. He made a face when he saw the drab tie 
that Jonny had gotten him. "Not me at all," he mumbled.
	"It was you," grumbled Jonny.
	"A grey sweater. How dull!" Benton picked up a grey suit and a tweed coat. 
"Definitely meant for a old dude!"
	Hadji picked up his stuff and moaned. "A new silk turban. Most unfortunate 
timing, Jonny. And, you too, Jessie. I don’t wear purple vests anymore. And 
neither do I wear purple crew-neck sweaters anymore, Race. New meditation 
crystals, I appreciate, but I don’t have anything special to do with them 
right now. Maybe they’ll just sit on my mantelpiece."
	All five of them were silent for a long moment.
	Finally, Jonny broke the silence. "I take it we all don’t like our 
presents," he said.
	The rest simple nodded. They all looked at the pile of discarded presents 
that lay on the carpet in the corner.
	"I suggest we get rid of them," suggested Hadji. The rest nodded in 
agreement. They all began grabbing armfuls of the presents and taking them 
outside.
	"Time to put my new invention to the test," said Benton grimly, his green 
hair glowing in the moonlight. He took out something that looked like a 
water gun. He squeezed the trigger and a stream of some blue liquid shot 
out. Benton coated the things with blue gunk and stepped back, careful not 
to drip a drop on anyone.
	The pile of presents began to sizzle, and then melt. Soon, all was left was 
a puddle of blue liquid.
	"The puddle will dry in the sun tomorrow and the remainder will just blow 
away in the wind. All that remains should be dust." Benton turned away and 
walked back towards the mansion. "By the way, Happy New Year, dudes and 
duddettes!"
	Jonny shook his head as he followed his father. The rest just snickered.

THE END