Cat: Alt, F, Angst, JJHR
Archiver: take it
************
Loss of Contol 
by Andrea Sowers QueenAndrea_2000@yahoo.com
Jan 1, 2000

	The next month was a tedious one for Jessica. They
had made it past the hearing and had another court
date had been set to start the trail. 
	“Three more days,” she muttered, “three more days.”
She rubbed her stomach absent-mindedly.  Of course,
the actual trial would be stretched out over the next
month until Jessica had the baby. At which point in
time, they would perform the tests necessary to prove
that it was Tony’s.
	“All of this just to put him behind bars for a couple
of years. It’s almost not worth it,” she mumbled
rubbing her temples. She stared at the briefings in
front of her. “Why the hell am I studying these?
That’s Vanessa’s job not mine. She just wanted me to
look over them.” She rubbed her temples again. Jessica
knew she was the key element in the case. Madelyn have
a nice testimony and all, but it would have never
held. There wasn’t enough evidence. Since it had just
been attempt there were no records that could prove he
actually did what she said. It would have been her
word against his. At least with Jessica in the case,
it was two women saying the same thing about the same
man and Jessica had proof. She started to rub her
stomach again. She sighed, she hated having to bring
the baby into it, but she didn’t have any other
choice.
	She groaned softly as Jonathan came up behind her and
began to massage her shoulders. “You should be
resting.”
	“I am.”
	He picked up the case papers. “Yeah, this is what I
call resting, too. Come on, watch a movie with me.”
	She sighed then smiled. “Ok, I guess I should be
taking it a little easier the I have been,”
	“You got that right.” He said leading her over to the
couch. As she got comfortable, he popped in a movie.
He leaned back into the couch beside her getting
situation himself. Jessica laid her head on his
shoulder as he draped his arm around her. They stay
that for the next hour, Jessica only moving to
reposition herself so that she was comfortable. 
	After the movie was over Jon got up to turn off the
VCR. He slipped his hand in his pocket. “Jessica…”
	“Hmmm?”
	He turned around and knelt on one knee in front of
her. “Marry me.”
	“What?!”
	“Marry me!”
	She looked at him dumb fondly. “I…er…don’t know what
to say.”
	“Say yes,” he said smiling his lopsided smile.
	“Yes!”
	His smiled brightened as he pulled the ring out of
his pocket. It had been the same one he had given to
her eight years before. “I know it won’t fit now and
all, but I figured it’s only a month till your due
date.”
	She looked at the ring and tears welled up in her
eyes. “You’ve kept in all these years?”
	He nodded. “In hopes to give it back to it’s proper
owner.”
	The tears slide down her face after that comment as
she lightly kissed him. Jessica took off the gold
chain that she always wore around her neck and slid
the ring onto it. She then put it back on. 
	“And it looks like my wish has been granted.” He
leaned down and kissed her again.
	She smiled. Her life was finally heading upward
again.
				                      ****
	Tony paced back and forth nervously and he had ever
right to be nervous. The plan that he had been working
on for the last month was about to be put into action.
A smile crept across his face. They’d never be able to
trace it back to him. He had all points cover. He had
paid cash throwing in couple hundred more just to make
sure that all evidence was disposed of properly. He
had even waited a month so as not to immediately
linked to him. Of course, it needed to look like an
accident, but if it didn’t it was no big deal. As long
as it was taken care of. He would not have his
reputation ruined. He started to pace a little faster.
He always won in the end. 
					        ****
	Jessica smiled as Jon kissed her again. Marriage. Her
smiled brightened. A husband…. a child…..a child!!!!!
She pulled away from him. “The baby? Are you, I mean
are you ok with it? It not being yours and all?”
	He nodded. “It may not be mine by blood, but in every
other way I feel it is my child. I’m looking forward
to helping you raise it.”
She looked at him amazed. “You cease to amaze me
Jonathan Quest. I think you’re the only man alive who
would say that. Most men are afraid of becoming an
instant father.”
He shrugged. “I guess I’m crazy, but I can’t imagine
spending the rest of my life without you are the
baby.” He smiled lightly placing his hand over her
stomach.
She shook her head still amazed at how much he seemed
to like the idea. *I don’t deserve him* she thought.
*Nothing I could ever do would make me deserving of
his love.*  She snuggled closer to him. “I suppose we
should call my parents.”
“No need to.”
”What do you mean no need to?”
He smiled. “They already know.”
”Huh?”
“I called Race and asked for his blessing.”
”You what?”
“Asked his blessing. I didn’t want a reoccurrence of
eight years ago.”
“You actually called and asked his blessing?”
Jonny shook his head. “No, I asked for his blessing
the last time I was home.”
”The last time you were home? But that was over a
month ago!!!!”
He shrugged. “I knew eight years ago that I wanted to
marry you. When I found you again and we started to
date I knew it was just a matter of time. I was just
waiting for the right moment.”
She smiled and was about to say something else when
the room erupted with sounds from outside.    It
sounded like mere fighting, but usually her
neighborhood was so peaceful. Jessica quickly got up
and went to the window to see what it was all about. 
That’s when it happened, gunshots started to go off. 
“Jess, get away from the window!” Jon shouted, but it
was too late. 
A stray bullet bust through the window as glass went
spraying everywhere. Jon made a vain attempt to push
her out of the way, but he wasn’t fast enough. The
bullet struck her chest.
	“JESS!” he shouted as it hit her. As she fell it was
like time was put into slow motion.  When she hit the
floor he immediately cradled her in his arms. “Oh,
gawd Jess,” he cried.
She groaned and opened her eyes. Pain filled her face.
Jon quickly laid her back down and ran to the phone
and dialed 911. 
“Please state your emergency,” the high-pitched,
annoying voice asked.
“There’s been a shooting.”
“Address please?”
“9087 Wesnut Street.”
“Are there any injuries?”
“Christ, lady, YES! It was a shooting for crying out
loud.”
“Sir, you need to calm down. What kind of injuries is
there?”
“Well, I only know of one. A woman has been shot in
the chest! And she’s pregnant!”
“Alright, sir, ambulances will be there shortly. If
you could stay on the line…” Jon didn’t hear the last
part as he dropped the phone and went back to Jessie’s
side.
“You can’t leave me you hear! I lost you once and I’ll
be damned if I lose you again.”
 Jon grabbed her hand and she weakly squeezed his
hand. “Jon, promise me you’ll make them save the
baby.”
“They’re going to save both of you.”
She didn’t have time to answer as paramedics came
rushing through the door. They skillfully loaded her
onto the stretcher, checking her vital signs. As they
wheeled her to the ambulance Jon followed. When he
moved to climb into it behind them a tall, red haired
paramedic stopped him.
“Sorry sir, you can’ t come with us.”
“I’m her fiancée damn it! I will be with her!”
The man sighed. “I don’t have time to argue with you
so get in.” Jon jumped in and moved beside Jessica,
taking a hold of her hand again. He lifted it to his
lips and lightly kissed it.
	“Come on, Jess, don’t give up. You have to make it
through.”
Jessica wanted to reassure him that everything would
be fine, but she knew it wouldn’t. Her whole body was
rippling with pain and the baby. The baby was coming.
She had felt her water break back in the apartment.
She knew she wouldn’t make it, but the baby had to. It
just had to. Jon kept a firm on her hand the entire
ride to the hospital.
Once at the hospital, the paramedics rapidly explained
what had happened. A doctor was racing along with
them.
“Let’s get that bullet of her chest.”
“Save the baby..” Jessica cried.
	“But ma’am you’re bleeding pretty bad.”
“Save the baby,” she repeated.
The doctor shook his head. “Prep her for a caesarean.
She’ll never be able to deliver it naturally.”
The doctor stopped Jonathan as they entered the
surgical room. “I’m sorry sir, but you can’t come in
here.”
“Please, I’m her fiancée and the child is mine,” he
lied.
“Very well, put on those,” the doctor respond pointing
his had at some surgical masks and gowns before
disappearing to scrub in.
Jon did as the doctor said and entered the room
returning to Jessica’s side. He picked back up her
hand.
“Jonny, if it’s a boy I want to name it Alexander
Michael and if it’s a girl Trinitee Danielle.”
“Shhh, don’t talk like that.”
“Jonny, promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“Promise me you’ll raise it. That you’ll make sure
Tony never gets his hands on it.”
He brushed back her hair. “I said don’t talk like
that. You and me, we’re going to raise her together..”
“Promise me!”
He looked at her, tears welling in his eyes. “I said
don’t talk like that! You going to make it through
this!”
“Just in case I don’t, promise me.”
“I’m promise,” he whispered as a tear slide down his
cheek.
“Thank you,” she said softly in reply as a cry filled
the room.
“It’s a girl!” the doctor exclaimed. The nurse quickly
took her to clean her up.
“Can I see her?” Jessica asked her voice barely
audible now.
“Can she see her?” Jonny repeated.
	The nurse brought her over for Jessica to see. A
smile appeared upon her face as she looked at her baby
then she closed her eyes. The nurse hastily walked
away. Trinitee needed to be examine, to make she was
ok. 
As the nurse walked away and he heard the doctor say
something needing to get the bullet out now, Jon
looked back over at Jessica. He watched her chest
heave up the fall again. He waited for it to rise
again, but it didn’t.
 	“Jess?! Oh gawd, no!” he cried. The doctor moved
beside him and felt for a pulse.
“I’m sorry son, but she’s dead.”
“No!” he screamed. “No! No! NO!!!!” He hunched over
Jessica taking her in his arms. “You can’t be dead.
You just can’t be.” He held her closer as blood soaked
through his shirt. He didn’t even notice. “I can’t
lose you again. No…no…no…”
The doctor grabbed him and pulled him away. Jon jerked
away from him, holding Jessica tighter. “You can’t be
dead.”
			           ****
Jonathan stared at Jessica’s grave blankly as they
lowered her coffin into it. Trinitee fussed softly in
his arms. Since she was only two weeks early, the only
concern was her weight, 5 pounds. However, the doctor
had released her a couple of days after birth saying
she should be ok.
It had been a week since Jessica had died. He felt so
numb inside. It was almost as if his life had lost all
meaning. Almost. He looked down at Trinitee who was
still fussing. She had patches of red hair, the same
color as Jess’ and she even had her eyes. Those same
sparkling green eyes. He held Trinitee closer to him.
He planned to keep his promise to Jessica even though
Race and Estella had offered to take her. He had
promised her he would raise her and that’s what he was
going to do.
“Jon, let me take her,” Estella said softly.
He shook his head. “She’s fine.”
Estella sighed and turned to walk away, but not before
she hugged him. “We’re all going to miss her.” 
He nodded, although he hadn’t really heard what she
had said.
He continued to stare blankly at the grave until they
had filled it. He carefully took a rose out of his
pocket and layed on the grave.  He ran his hand over
the epilog. ‘An angel has returned to heaven.’
Fresh tears began to run down his face again. “I’m
going to miss you Jess. I promise to raise Trinitee as
if she was my own. I promise. I’ll make sure she knows
about you. What a wonderful person you were.” He
allowed the tears to flow freely a couple more minutes
before he stood up. “I’m not going to say good-by
though because you will always live in my heart.” He
tightened his hold on the sleeping baby and walked
away. 
			             ****
Tony smiled as he read the article. “Branton vs.
Lackon case has dropped. A stray bullet from what
appeared to be gang shoot out killed the leading
testimony, Jessica Bannon. There are no further leads
in her death.” His smile widened as he set down the
paper. “I always win. Now to further claim what’s
mine.” 

*******