Disclaimer: I don't own Jonny, Jessie or Hadji. I am not making any
money, off of this or at any other time either.
Date: 5/29/00
Catagories: H, I, V
Author: Bryne aka Michelle
Title:

           You’re Such a Dork, Jonny Quest

     “You’re such a dork, Jonny Quest!” Jessica Bannon cried as she
walloped her best friend with her purse.
     “Ow! Quit it Jess! Ow!” Jonny yelped as the purse smacked him in
the head. Again. “Jeez, what are you carrying in there? Bricks?!”
     “Very funny,” she shouted, swinging at him yet again. A thwunking
sound as it made contact. “I always knew your head was empty!”
     “Oh come on Jess, give me a break! Ouch.” He threw his hands over
his head to protect himself from her vicious onslaught. It seemed like
he was always getting smacked around by hormonal females. The bank
teller, that cute Frostie Freeze girl, the police lady and now Jessie;
they were all out to get him. Jonny’s cheek ached in memory and he could
almost feel a swell welling up. Well, at least this time he knew why he
was getting smacked. “Hey, it’s not like I locked the keys in the car on
purpose.” Jessie stopped.
     “No, I suppose not,” Jessie said in a subdued voice.
     “You do?” Jonny uncovered his head to peek out at her and see if
she was done smacking him. Jonny saw as Jessie sighed and her shoulders
slumped forward.
     “Yeah. I mean, if you’d wanted to get me pissed you’d have thrown
me out of the car or something.  At least this way we’re both screwed.”
Hm. She had a point there.
     “It’s not so bad Jess.” Her head snapped up and Jonny threw his
arms over his head instinctively. He heard her snort and looked up
cautiously.
     “Relax will you? If I wanted to hit you again I’d come out and do
it.” Jonny shrugged and let his hands fall to his sides. She had a
point. “Not like it’d help anything anyway.” She sighed again and sat
down on the concrete curb, heedless of her skirt. It was cashmere. Jonny
settled carefully down next to her, one leg tucked under him so he
wouldn’t have to sit on the ground and ruin his pants. The last thing he
needed was his father giving him the money and trees lecture. That one
still puzzled him. After all, wasn’t money just some special paper with
pictures?
     “You know,” he said pleasantly, “four miles isn’t nearly so far as
you’d think.”
     “It is in heels.” Jonny looked down at Jessie’s feet. A pair of
pink stiletto heels stared back at him. He’d never understand what had
possessed her to buy them in the first place . . . Though he did have
the sneaking suspicion it’d had something to do with a certain Randy in
their math class. The one with all the muscles, not the one with the
post-nasal drip. Though the second did have his good points as well . .
.
     “Maybe we can hitch-hike.”
     “With all the wackos roaming around?” she asked, looking at him
incredulously. Jonny shrugged easily. At least they knew them all. “Our
dads would have a FIT if they found out we hitched a ride home from
town.” That was true. As it was, they were never going to let them get
ice cream alone again.
     “You know the saying, ‘in for a penny, in for a pound’.”
     “Since when are we British?” Good Peter she was annoying when she
wore make-up. Last time he let her out of the house when she was acting
like a girl. Jonny looked at the sky and tried to keep quiet. He always
forgot how hard she was to deal with when her estrogen levels were high.
“But we don’t seem to have any other choice, do we?” Jonny kept his
mouth shut as she stood, brushed her once purple skirt off and walked
into the middle of the road.
     “Hey!” she cried as a car drove up. “HEY!” She waved her arms
wildly. The car didn’t slow. “Eep!” Jonny knocked her out of the way
just in time to avoid the large vehicle. She looked at him gratefully.
“You didn’t have to do that.” Jonny gave a half smile.
     “You’re welcome and yes I did.” He stood and extended a hand. “How
would I explain ‘road pizza’ to your dad?” Jessie grinned.
     “Tough one.” Jonny rolled his eyes.
     “You have no idea.”
     “Hey, here comes another.” Jonny looked up just in time to be
blinded by the headlights of an oncoming car.
     “Mind if I try?” he asked. Jessie made a sweeping motion with her
arms.
     “It’s all yours.”
******
     “This is it. Thanks for the ride,” Jonny said as he slid out of the
front seat. A piece of panty hose clung to his shirt, straggling behind.

     “Oops, wait up.” The driver leaned forward to peel it off.
“Wouldn’t want you going home with this.” Jonny blushed as she waved it
in front of him. “No problem cutie.” Jonny blinked at her and turned his
head.
     “Uh, right. See you around.” Jonny slammed the door and walked
around back to help Jessie out. Or rather, to let Jessie out as she was
locked in for ‘security reasons’.
     “AH!” she screamed as he opened the door, jumping out and into his
arms. The two fell to the ground. “Ay,” she muttered, picking herself up
from the ground. “Well, that was pleasant.” She turned and slammed the
door to the van. Tires screeching, the van took off, blowing up clouds
of goodness-knows-what. “Ick!” Jessie cried, waving her hands furiously
to bat away the haze of dust and dirt. “Oh!” She let out a deafening
sneeze. “What a night.”
     “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” Jessie glared at Jonny who was
still sitting in the dirt.
     “If you think I’m going to feel bad for you, you’re sorely
mistaken.”
     “Sore is right. Oof.” Jonny stood shakily. “You need to go on a
diet.”
     “You should talk!” She gave him a poke in the stomach. “No more
triple decker banana splits with extra chocolate sauce for you, Quest.”
She rubbed at her sleeve. “Disgusting little-”
     “Let’s not be insulting, this could have happened to anyone.”
Jessie rolled her eyes heavenward.
     “Not you, moron. The chimps.” Jonny blinked. “They got something
slimy and- OH YUCK! My SLEEVE!” She dropped the part of her shirt she’d
been holding, face crinkled in a look of pure disgust. “Next time YOU
ride in back!”
     “Hey, I’m the reason we even got the ride.” Jessie shot him a look.

     “I wouldn’t go advertising that one, Jon-boy. All things
considered.”
     “What do you have against clowns? She’s just an honest lady trying
to make a living like any body else.”
     “She wears a big red nose Jonny. Let me assure you, she is NOT like
everybody else.”
     “Well at least she has a reason for driving around all those
monkeys,” he said pointedly.
     “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” Jonny looked at her hard, noticing
something.
     “Hey Jess, what’s that in your hair?” Jessie shuddered
involuntarily.
     “You are SO sitting in back next time.”
******
     “Finally,” Jessie muttered as the compound came into view.
     “I have got to talk to dad about doing something with this drive
way.”
     “Yeah, right after you convince him to let you take his car out
again.”
     “It could have happened to any of us.”
     “Yeah right.”
     “You know, I am getting just a little sick of this attitude Miss-”
Jonny stopped mid-sentence.
     “Miss what?” Jessie challenged when he didn’t continue. “Jonny?”
She followed his gaze to see what had captured his attention. “Oh my-”
Jonny grabbed her by the arm and dragged her behind some bushes. Safely
hidden from the main house by the foliage, the two peeped out at the
compound.. “Jonny, did you see that?” Jonny nodded grimly.
     “It’s always the quiet ones,” he said softly, looking out. Because
there, silhouetted against the lighted room was Hadji, dancing and
singing. But it wasn’t just any dance he was moving to, and it wasn’t
just any song he was grooving to. There were few songs that could bring
out the raw emotion from a person like Hadji the way this one was. It
was apparent to the lookers that he was oblivious to the two outside, as
one could surmise by watching his movements for they were the motions of
one possessed by song, utterly taken by the rhythm and the music.  Jonny
set his mouth grimly. It was obvious, once you put it all together,
exactly what he was listening to. The hip shakes, the arm movements, the
head twirls; it all pointed to one very special Madonna song.
     “LIKE A VIRGIN, TOUCHED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. LIKE A VIRGIN,”
Hadji sang, his body moved by the very soul of the words.
     “I didn’t even know he’d heard this song,” Jessie whispered, her
voice hushed with something . . . awe? Jonny gave her a sideways glance
before shifting his eyes back to the moving figure . . . and blinked.
Jonny’s eyes widened and he blinked again and again, rubbing his eyes to
be sure.
     “Is that- Is he really wearing- Where did he get THOSE?!” Jessie
blushed.
     “They might kinda, sorta be mine. Maybe.” Jonny blinked at her.
“What? Why do you think Victoria Secret’s does so much business?”
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