GENERAL ASSESSMENT:
A) Physical Observation on the
Center:
For this school
year 2000 – 2001, my weekend apostolate was to spend my time with the Salesian
community of Tuloy sa Don Bosco and
with the boys of that center. I began my apostolate last June 18, 2000 and
ended last March 18, 2001. There were about 70 – 80 boys in Makati and 24 boys
in Majayjay.
The first time I entered the vicinity of Tuloy was last
1997. I was assigned there for 6 weeks only (every weekends). And the second
time I entered this center, I seemed to be lost amidst the hyper-active boys in
the basketball court. My companions who were with me were: Bro. Joriz, Bro.
Justy, and Bro. Peter Hung (later, Peter Hung backed-out). Joriz would be our
leader.
We immediately went straight to Fr. Rocky Evangelista,
SDB, who was waiting for us in the dining hall. We handed him the letter from
our formators requesting him to allow us to work every weekend. Well, Fr. Rocky
was cordial enough to welcome and gave us a short orientation about their work
for the former street kids and boys.
Structurally speaking, Tuloy is not so big. The building
itself comprises of four floors. The first floor is where the dining hall of
the boys is, the different offices and a conference hall for visitors who come
to observe the boys.
The second floor is where the four dormitories of boys are
located. The dorms are maintained by the boys themselves. They were properly
ventilated and well painted. The beds and cabinets are presentable enough. Part
of the boys’ discipline is to habitually arrange their clothes in the cabinets.
Their cabinets have no doors, to see to it that they arranged their things
well. Right after rising, they were told to arranged their beddings and fold
them well. The rooms of the brothers, of Fr. Javie and those intern volunteers
are found also in the second floor.
The third floor consists of the chapel, the Salesians’
dining room, the boys’ TV room, the volunteers’ office and the rooms of Fr.
Rocky, ate Cathy and kuya Joe.
The fourth floor is the somewhat the mezzanine. It is
where the laundrywomen washed the bed sheets of the occupants. Our CR and
shower room is located there. The incoming OJTs are also housed on this floor.
Wet clothes of the boys are dangling at both end sides and the two rooms for
the maintenance personnel and the driver are also found here.
In going out from the main building, one encounters the
sight of boys playing in the gym, at all time of the day. Their energy seems to
be inexhaustible. The gym is big enough to accommodate one basket main
basketball court. There are also side rings around. On the other end, the stage
faces the main building. All together, the boys played with their own games,
without possibly colliding each other.
Beside the gym is the school building. It has 4 floors.
The space is well maximized. During weekends, only one or two boys dared to
visit this lonely place.
B)
The
Personnel:
A community of six Salesians manages the center: Fr. Rocky
(rector), Bro. Mon (administrator); Fr. Javie (principal and catechist); Fr.
Bok (who usually stayed in Majayjay); and the two practical trainees Bros. Lhan
and Clarence. However, the center is not only run by Salesians alone. Together
with them were two stay-in volunteers, Ate Cathy and Kuya Joe. Ate Cathy was
the former vice president of BPI. She is single but already advanced in age.
She had some condominiums in Makati, but preferred to stay in Tuloy most of the
time. Kuya Joe is a jeweler. And like ate Cathy, he had a permanent room in
Tuloy. Lately, there are two Korean sisters (Miyazaki sisters) staying with
them for a future possible takeover in Majayjay. And with four of us during
weekends, the community of Tuloy is truly big.
There were many young professional who spent some of their
precious time with the Tuloy boys/kids. They help in the organizational
activity of the boys. They organized games, programs and hobbies for them. Many
of them who stayed longer, were assigned to particular boys as guardian and
help them in small counseling and advises. Their presence is also significant
for them.
Other lay volunteers who received salaries comprise of
three cooks, one dog caretaker, two drivers, and a number of maintenance,
instructors and teachers.
C)
Some
long-standing policies:
In my 10-month stay in Tuloy, I was oriented of the
policies imposed on the boys, little by little. These are some of my
observations:
1) The center is opened to all boys ranging from as young as
10 yrs old to 18 yrs. old. But before they could be admitted to the center,
they have to stay first in the patio for some weeks to see whether they really
desire to stay longer in the center. They are all welcomed. They can avail of
the room adjacent to the gym, take showers, sleep and take food from the dining
hall. When the Salesians see that they showed a desire to stay, they are
allowed to stay with the boys upstairs and lived a normal life with them.
2) However, once admitted inside, they are not allowed to go
out from the perimeter of the Tuloy’s compound without proper permission; not
even the parish compound except during Sunday in their Mass in the church. Once
caught for going out without proper permission, they would not be allowed to
sleep upstairs. Instead, they have to endure sleeping with those gigantic
mosquitoes in the patio.
3) The boys are free to leave the center. They are not forced
to live there. But when they decided to come back, they must start from patio
stage.
4) Cleanliness and orderliness are very much stressed on
them. A group who does not clean their dorm well may not be allowed to take a
single meal in a day. There are dorm leaders for the group. He sees to it that
his turf is clean all the time.
5) Table manners are given emphasis on each boy. Each must
use the proper utensils and the proper way of eating.
6) Fr. Rocky is very strict in their observance in the
rosary. I heard that one boy was sent out because he does want to pray the
rosary.
7) The OJTs (On the Job Training) are oriented to do service
towards their young companions. This attitude is very much important when they
would apply for a job. They are already in their adolescent stage (17-20), who
finished their vocational training in mechanics/automotive,
refrigeration/air-conditioning, electricity and welding. They are the ones
setting the plates and utensils during meals time. They are also the ones
washing them afterwards.
8) Boys who are caught bringing in pornographic materials,
sniffing solvent and are always the cause of fight are sent out.
9) Unlike any other center, Tuloy does not believe in
corporal punishments of any sort.
10) But
the major policy the boys encounter daily is this: Run, jump, shout, and do
whatever you wish as long as you do not sin (DB).
A)
D)
My
relationship with my companions:
When I was sent there, I was not alone. I have three
companions with me: Bro. Joriz, Bro. Justy, Bro.Peter Hung, who was later
replaced by Bro. Mikki. Sometimes, we met together for some evaluations. We
tried to give space to each other and shared some situations we got from some
boys. Practically, all of us had similar objectives in going there. First, we
did not prioritize activity organization. Second, we intended to meet where the
boys are. We just want to be present with them, talk with them and understand
their situation and be always available for them.
We only organized two activities while assigned there. One
is the street soccer and the other one is the simple bingo. All the time we
were with the boys, staying up to 12 MN – 1 AM.
Sometimes, we went for this so-called street apostolate. A
certain ate Junie guided us in this endeavor. She knew very well the boys who are
still in the street. She has this charism of being at home with these kids and
the kids responded to her positively. We roamed around Roxas Boulevard
especially in CCP and Star City complex. We sometimes went to Padre Faura,
Luneta, and Pasig City (near the Church).
Once, we visited the street children center in Bicutan
inside NARCOM. There, we felt compassion for them. They were living in a
miserable condition. Fortunately, some of these boys are now in Tuloy.
PERSONAL ASSESSMENT OF MY
APOSTOLATE:
Not much actually. My personal objectives in this apostolate for the former street boys are the following:
a) to be with the boys all the time and have a spontaneous talk with them
b) to know their life journeys and to be of help for them even if it is very little.
c) To integrate my life as Salesian with my experience living with these kind of boys in prayer and deepen my Salesian and Christian reflection so as to learn something from them for my life.
Personally, what I usually did during weekend is to be available to all of them no matter how tired I was at that particular time. I would enter from dorm to dorm and tried to be as cordial as I could to them. I went from boy to boy and inquire anything about him, until I could strike a conversation with him. Normally, that would take for me 10 to 15 minutes each boy. Then I continued roaming around.
Sometimes, I would go to the gym and see to it that they could notice my presence. I would greet one and comment something to another.
Or during their TV viewing, I sometimes watch with them. But this only took for some minutes only. I would usually look for those boys who have nothing to busy upon. There, I tried my best to start a conversation with them.
During their rosary time, we would usually give them some catechetical-inspirational talk before the prayers. I would pray the rosary with them. I did the same when they went to Mass every Sunday.
Actually, most of my time is spent listening to their life experiences, problems, past adventures, their fantasies and their difficulties at the present. All I have to do is to show I’m listening very well, give some comments, contribute some advises or at few times share my own experiences if there is a need for it.
In meeting them personally, I tried to guess their interests in life so as to make our contact meaningful. I made sure that what I say is all about that particular subject from mere observation to the point of giving some advise or teaching a thing or two.
a) When I am with a boy whose main preoccupation is dancing, most of the topics are about dancing also.
b) Sometimes the boy is interested with drawing, I showed him my expertise in that art.
c) I talk with boys who are so involved with girls. Oh my, sometimes, they ask about my personal experience with girls.
d) There are also boys who are so concerned with the plight of their families. The existential person in me would truly come out.
e) Some of them are music lovers. I would tell them of my interests of some rock and love songs.
f) Surprisingly, many of these boys are so curious about God and religion. I would just be very happy to share my faith to them.
g) There are some of them who need to talk just for therapy sake. This takes a more patient ear to listen to them.
h) Some of them also open up their experiences to me that bore a negative or erroneous perception of reality. I need to straighten it to him about this subject.
First, I was not able to play basketball with the big boys. I had still this feeling of incapability over myself with regards to physical activities especially games. I played with some boys in the sides, but not the main game. I just usually watched them playing.
Second, I was not able to know and memorize their names and had an opportunity to talk with all of them. I would admit that there were always boys whom I like to talk with all the time. However, I am aware of this weakness. I tried to spend my time with everyone. There is only reason why I was not able to talk: 1) either I still lack the courage to talk with those difficult kids, or 2) they themselves do not want to talk to me; they preferred me not to approach them.
Towards the boys:
· Many of the boys who live in Tuloy have the intention to change. But once in the center, many painful truths would confront and even haunt them. Some are not yet prepared to face these. And so they left after some days. But to those who vent on changing have to struggle with that difficulty if they want to gain a bright future. The boys in Tuloy are those boys who discover the pains they trod in life. But they still hold on to live in the center. They must have greater desire to change than me to be faithful with my Salesian vocation.
· Social environment is very crucial in the child’s formation. Children tend to perpetuate the disordered lifestyle of the environment where he was in. It’s s hellish cycle.
· The boys in the center are very open and respectful to the volunteers and to the Salesians themselves. I think this is just the fruit of the so much work done by the Salesians there. Indeed, when boys are treated like human persons, they cannot but respond with respect and gratitude.
· Many boys in the center come from the street life. Roughness in character and violence in a fit of rage are overwhelming for those who are new to the center.
· Many boys are exposed to violence in different forms: cruelty to parents, juvenile experience, harsh treatment from people both physical and emotional and mass media. Most of the boys experienced physical abuse at an early age.
· They expressed this violence through over-reacted anger (a boy box other boys for an insignificant cause), too much body-piercing, captivation over violent films, sadistic imaginations, bad dreams and bullying over small boys who are new to the center.
· Many boys are observed to have sudden shift of moods. In connection with this, I observed that some of them went into a mood of depression which went undetected by unobserving individual. When asked, their depression consisted of guilt over their past life and the desire to be reunited with their families.
· In my spontaneous contact with the boys, I can group them into four categories according to maturation:
a) Confusion bet. Reality and Fantasy – some new and smaller boys tell their stories in a very convoluted manner wherein facts are not properly sequenced. More difficult to comprehend is when they see their imagination as one of the facts. After that encounter, I would try to review what they told me and separate the doubtful event from the real fact. These boys still find their life full of mess. It is very indicative of their psychological and emotional state. Usually, I met them again and straighten the topic again, until they could talk with sense and I understand them better.
b) Straight Fact about Life-Experiences – boys who have stayed longer in Tuloy find their life more stable and so their perception of the past. They talk of their personal stories more clearly, but just straight facts. Here I tried to understand their experiences and interpret them according to the few psychology books I read.
c) Personal reflection – but what I take seriously is when they share their own view of the life they experienced. I believed that when they step into reflection, this is the point wherein they would really feel the importance of living in this center and that they would not just leave for the reason of boredom. There are many boys who have reached this stage, especially those who about to end their schooling and those in OJT.
d) Sense of responsibility – there are only few boy who reached this stage yet. These are the boys who felt a balanced sense of responsibility over their families, their future and their own actions. They would talk about the situation of their families and ways how to alleviate them. They would start dreaming (not fantasizing) of good things to do when they are out of Tuloy. They would feel indebted to the goodness of people in the center for the whole of their life.
· Many boys are gifted with so much talents and capabilities. It now depends on the community how to channel these talents into fulfillment.
· Despite of the “corruption” they got from the streets, the boys in Tuloy have simple aspirations and their needs are not complicated. One can easily get their attention by telling them a very simple story.
Towards the Tuloy community:
· The community in Tuloy is very much adept in reading and dealing with boys’ behavior. I could say that the boys have a special place in their own schedules, planning, and activities.
· Sometimes, we felt uneasy when Fr. Rocky is around. We cannot read what’s in his mind due to his silence. We see him as authority figure.
· Many boys behaved differently when Fr. Rocky is around. He displayed a strong disposition towards the boys. And maybe, he brought that same disposition towards the brothers unconsciously.
· Fr. Javie balances the atmosphere. He is jovial in character and we felt at home in his presence.
· Bro. Mon exudes a sense of discipline towards he boys, but not to us.
· Bro. Rence is doing fine with the boys. Eventhough he imposed discipline on them, I see that he is accepted by the boys.
· There is something wrong with Bro. Lhan. I don’t know what it is, but I can feel he’s not doing fine.
· Miss Cathy Go is not so cordial with the four of us, though she tried to respond to our usual greetings towards her. I think she is happy with her life with the boys.
· Mr. Joe is strict with the boys. He usually shouts at them whenever he sees them misbehaving. The boys behave differently at his presence. I think that’s the way he cares for them.
· The Salesian community has a poor prayer habit (at least when I was there). I did not see them praying as a community even once, just like when we make sure that we eat together.
Towards the Tuloy Sa Don Bosco
Center:
· I see that this center is the cream of all the centers. It is very much promoted to the elite, to the yuppies, and to the Salesians themselves.
· Many young professionals, both men and women, are volunteering themselves to be of help in running the center. They are just too happy to be accepted as volunteers.
· The center is indeed very Salesian in its character. It promotes the importance of the Sacraments; encourage boys to be grateful to good people; it relives the Salesian Preventive system; gives importance to physical activities and games; emphasizes sense of work and sacrifices; and promotes the devotion to Mary Help of Christians.
· The structure of the center is very congested. There were boys escaped from the center for the main reason that the place itself seems to limits their activities and made them bored after sometimes.
Towards my street apostolate
every Saturday evening:
· My street apostolate disproved my former impression that boys in the street are out to rob and hurt anybody. When boys living in the street see a person who takes her/his time to be with them, going to the miserable places where they are living, they turned out to be as polite and respectful as any ordinary boy or girl in our vicinity. Of course, the street taught them roughness, all kinds of manipulations and all the vices, there is still much goodness in them.
· In my street apostolate in the evening, we encountered boys who were apparently happy with their street life. They were doing center-hopping but in the end, they ended back in the streets. They just cannot leave their old life behind and start a new and difficult life in the center. With this information in hand, I am pretty sure that these boys truly wished a greater change in their life despite of the denials they have to make in the center. These boys I met in the center are truly different from the boys I met in the street.
· For me, there are two great evils which devoured innocence of these boys: dysfunctional families and poverty. They exist in various forms:
h) erroneous sense of freedom in the street.
i) Boys’concern to augment their family’s income
They ended up in the street where rules and discipline are alien to them.
· While living in the street, the boys do not realize how significant their families for them. They do not realize much that life is not meant for the street. And so, void of these deep reflection, they live a “high” life, does not get in touch with reality.
H) What are my suggestions and recommendations for Tuloy:
For the community running the
center:
· First of all,
this work is sustained not only by human but also by spiritual motives. Thus,
they ought to be sustained by their constant and daily relationship with God
through their community practices of piety. But most of all, Salesians need to
enrich their life through a constant and personal union with God.
· Many boys wished
to establish their contact with their families/relatives. The community sees to
it that at least once a month, the boys have the chance to go home or visit
their relatives and stay with them at least overnight. Of course, abuse could
seep into this policy.
· As far as I am
concerned, I found out that many older boys are very interested in relating
with girls. The community has to address this issue. This is just a normal
stage where they are in. The community provides avenues for boy-girl encounter,
and not to frown on this reality.
· For those
outgoing OJT, there was no proper program yet. The center is still in its
experimental stage. Recently, those boys who were out of job, don’t know where
to go. They cannot study college because of financial shortage. They find it
hard to look for a job for theirs are only vocational courses. There is a
danger some of them would go back to their former life in the street and
committing not petty crimes anymore, but bigger ones. The community must
prioritize this need of the bigger boys
over those of the small ones.
· The community
should minimize in calling the boys “street-children”, for they are not street
kids anymore. They are already bosconians. Secondly, the boys dislike being
called as such, especially if they see their faces advertised in mass media for
the sole-purpose of donations.
For those brothers assigned in
week-end apostolate:
· The boys have
enough of rules and discipline from the resident Salesians. Now those brothers
should act other ways. They are assigned not mainly as practical trainees but
assistant who excel in showing kindness and friendship towards the boys. Theirs
is not to organize activities, but to be with the boys all the time. As much as
possible, they refrain from doing disciplinary acts, but to make them
understand the policy in the center.
· To know the names
of the boys is very crucial. They feel important if a brother knows their
names.
· The brother’s
constant absenses are noted by the boys. They sense those who are always late
and absent. And they demand an explanation.
· The team of
brothers is faithful to their practices of piety.
· Each boy has his own interest. It is very advisable for the brothers to guess what are these. But they can only know these interests if they are almost present with them. By picking on with the right frequency, he open the confidence of the boy to share who he is to him.
· Work with these boys needs psychological, physical and spiritual strength. A brother who goes there because of schedule, without preparing himself, may end up just resting in the room and not really spending his time with them.
· To work there every week-end is always for me a personal confrontation. Am I ready to give up my studying for exams on Monday just to “waste” my time with them? For me, it has been a measuring rod in my zeal for the Salesian apostolate.
· Games and physical activities are as important as giving good night talks to them.
· Tolerance towards the boys’ behavior is the rule of the game for those brothers in week-end apostolate.
· As much as possible, the brothers must be seen as approachable by all not just exclusive property of some.
· Psychology books on Child sexual and physical abuse could facilitate the brother’s understanding on the boys’ past life-experiences and help him interpret the things behind their stories.
· And lastly, the brothers needs to train and tune-up his two ears for listening purposes. He has to do more listening than talking.
· And the most important is: to pray for the boys he encounters. For only in prayers will his wishes for the good of the boys come true. He must not only pray, but the boys must see in him a prayerful person.
MY SALESIAN REFLECTIONS:
One time while I was walking
along the CCP complex together with my companions, I was overwhelmed by what I
saw around. At that time, we had just gone to that grassy but dark area of the
complex. There, we saw families sleeping under the calmness and coolness of the
night. These street families slept with their months-old babies and their very
young children. After that event, we transferred to the dumping area of Star
City and behold what I saw. There were boys, some sleeping, but some sniffing
solvent and others were waiting for the garbage to be dumped in their sleeping
quarters. Their work was to salvage anything from the garbage and then used the
money to buy “rugby”.
Ate Junie asked them if they
had gone to any street-children center. “galing na kami sa maraming center ‘te”,
they replied. Then they narrated to us the different centers they went. And as
usual, after some weeks or months in the centers, they moved out and went back
to street life. Then they expressed their desire to go back to the center and
inquire about Tuloy. At the back of my mind, I commented “for what… just to try
it and then go back to the street!”
I know that once a child is
used to living the street, he/she cannot contain himself/herself from staying
in a center where rules are imposed on them. with their own will, they cannot
make any difference in their lives. They will always choose the apparent
freedom of the street than the apparently slaving life in the Center.
Sometimes, the DSWD has a point of rounding up these boys and keeping them like
prisoners in a dilapidated center. Anyway, one cannot trust their will to
choose to live in a center. But this is different with Tuloy. There, the boys
are not coerced to live inside. It is their will to stay.
There are still many boys who
lived in the streets. But there are some boys who preferred to stay out of it.
What made their decision different from the others? Is this a clear
intervention of God’s grace in their lives? If it is so, then why did God allow
this to happen to the few and not to all? Which precedes, the will of the boy
to change or the grace of God that enlightens him to do that noble act?
Everything is grace. I believe
that all these boys were inspired by God to make their lives better. He uses
many ways. And what we were doing is just one the many. There are only few who
respond to that invitation. But, that positive response is also graced by God,
is it not? But does that mean that those who chose to stay outside are not
graced by God?
Everything is grace. God is
not through to all of these boys. He has his own plan for each of them. Even if
in my own point of view, they need to be changed, God takes double time in
taking care of them more than those who are now in the center. I lament in our
vain effort for not able to bring them to Tuloy. But I am just his instrument.
I am just narrow minded, maybe. But He sees in a very wide scope. He knows what
He is doing. I am just contented to think that though we “failed” to bring them
inside; God is with them in the street. His ways are very mysterious for me.
All I have to do is to trust in Him. And entrust all these boys to Him.
Everything is Grace. I used to
tell the boys that what brought them inside is not purely their own will. God
helped them to overcome their licentiousness to stay in the street and be able
to stay in Tuloy up to now. Whenever, I see these boys it makes me wonder how
God is truly good, loving and merciful to them. Not only to them but also to
those who are still struggling to keep their lives intact in the streets. I am
just a poor instrument of his work with these boys. Because I believe that God
helps those who wished to change their lives. And they can only desire that if
there are people who will go to them and treat them as human persons again. God
sees their little responses through the little inspirations they got from us.
Whether or not I become successful in my own way, God is in control of the
situations.
God
speaks to me through these boys:
“If you want to find the value of a thing, then try losing it.”
This principle is very true for me. I know very well, that my parents were very
protective of my brother and me. They tried their best to provide us with what
we needed. We are very poor, and yet our family is intact up to now. I took
this reality of my life for granted.
Seeing the situation of the boys, I was grateful to Him for my
family. The boys in Tuloy have no sense of rootedness in one way or another.
They grew up wanting to be part in an ordinary human family. All they got is
this institutional family of Don Bosco. Real family is indeed different from
any other institutions. And this is what the boys lack in this point of their
life.
As for me, I sometimes have some issues with my family
especially my father. I see only the negative sides of my father, missing the
positive points in him. I too, am dreaming of living a life of no rules, of
doing what I want, of going away from my parents, and do what those
“misguided”kids, do.
God speaks to me through these boys. After a year of staying
with them, I should have resolved some of my issues with my parents. I hope I
have done something.
Don Bosco was partly an orphan because his father died early.
But, he was not living in the street of Turin. He had a loving mother and
supportive friends and relatives. That made his life partly a street child and
partly a family boy. He had experienced both worlds and he knew how difficult
it is to have no father and to struggle to live in a poor family. He knew the
great suffering of an orphan boy and a boy deprived of many things in a family.
With all my observations in Tuloy and in the street apostolate,
I am convinced that what drives boys to live in the street are family problem
and great poverty. Their state of life mirrors the situations of the country.
Fortunately, here I am – poor but loved in a family.
I asked myself: what if my family were rich, could I still be a
Salesian up to now? Or, what if my parents were divorced, is it possible that I
could become a Salesian? In my state of life, I believe God has made a perfect
“combination” of events in my life. I must come from a poor but strong family,
or else, I would not be here in the first place.
The Cream of All Salesian Works:
Don
Bosco’s first boy is a street child. This poor boy was Bartolomew Garelli. I
think, when he told us to work for the poor and the abandoned, I bet he had in
mind the model of a street child who had nothing to give and to attract us but
his only skill of whistling.
Of
course, the first expression of his work is the wandering Oratory, which, like the
street children, had nothing to count on for a permanent place to relax and
rest. And so when Don Bosco extended his work to all kinds of boys in different
walks of life, it was because these boys had something in common with that
´street boy´ model he conceived.
In
this context, Don Bosco should befriend the influential people of his time, to
help him financially support his work and to seek approval for his work for the
poor boys. He was not alone in working for them. He formed a family of both
clergy and lay people around him to help him in this tedious work. Thus, if we
Salesians wished to see the model of lay-mission partnership, we only have to
look up to Don Bosco’s personnel in the Oratory.
This went on to say, he was very
aware that to work for these street boys, he needed a team, not only Salesians
but also lay people as well. I see this spirit of teamwork in the community of
Tuloy. There are many lay people who are very committed in their voluntary work
with the Salesians. Indeed, it is not just a community comprising of Salesians
only; it surpassed the idea of a canonical community. I think this structure is
patterned after what Don Bosco really wanted of a team working for the young.
Starting from basic, Don Bosco’s
work had to extend. The poor boys needed to relax and pause a while for God; he
organized Oratories. The boys needed education and practical skills; he opened
trade schools. The boys needed to be evangelized and taught the elements of our
Faith; he started regular schools. Don Bosco, in a vision, saw other boys in
other parts of the world; he sent missionaries to evangelized them. And lastly,
he made sure that these boys of the future would be taken care of. And so, he
founded the Salesian Society, to continue his work. Indeed, street children are
dear to the heart of Don Bosco. And I think this is the reason why he
established his work within the heart of the city and not in provinces.
Don Bosco’s Reason, Religion and Loving Kindness:
One boy shared to me a great deal of his past life. “Before”, he
said “I used to cut classes with my friends… to watch X-rated movies… to do all
kinds of petty crimes.” “and not only that”, he continued “when I was sent to a
center, I had so many fights… I
destroyed the things of th in-charge of the center, I got many girl-friends and
was a bully to some”. That was something, right? But I was happy to hear from
him this line: “But here in Tuloy, I really don’t know why I behave very well …
I felt I changed a lot here…!”
One different thing in Tuloy is their policy of non-application of
corporal punishment. As this boy had attested to, he became more stubborn and
rebellious as he was place in the “bartolina” and spanked more often in other
center. Instead, he responded positively to the treatment he received from
Tuloy.
For me, this example makes Don Bosco’s 3R’s realistic and
down-to-earth. After all, Don Bosco’s System of education is not found in the
air. His principle in educating is deeply rooted in the boy’s psychology. He
believed in the goodness in each human person. And I attest to that conviction
when I see goodness of the boys in this center. I believe that the main work of
Salesians there in Tuloy is not mainly to feed and provide them shelter. Their
main job is to draw out the goodness of each boy and to make use of it for the
growth of their spiritual and human lives.
For all my time spent there, I always encountered boys who asked
me about many things – from the most trivial things as “may beta ba brods” to
the hardest question I ever encountered “ bakit gusto ninyong mag-pari brods?”
They wanted to understand many things.
In their struggle to be good, they wanted to be sure if there is
really a God who will reward them for all their efforts to change for the
better. They may not be very religious, but they are very spiritual. And they,
who are used to receive harsh treatment from irresponsible people, are very
grateful to those people who showed them kindness and who regarded them as
persons. They are more grateful, I guess, than those boys who were pampered by
their parents since from birth.
Working with young people needs a great deal of
SELF-CONFIDENCE and COURAGE:
When I
came there for the first time, I admit that I did not do well with my
apostolate. It had been a trying moment for me to believe in myself that I can
do this job. I had a very low self-esteem before. Though by now I see some
improvements, I am still far from what I supposed to achieve. Whenever I
approach a person, there is this negative force in me that hinders me from
coming to him/her. I felt very incapacitated to relate well with boys whom I
perceived to be far superior than me. In Tuloy, I tried my best to approach
them; for they will not approach me first, unless I established friendship with
them.
I see that
I grow in my self-confidence. And this is how I measure it: before, I can only
approach boys at around 12 yrs below. Then, lately, in SLS-DB, I observed that
I was confident to talk with high school boys ranging from 13-15 yrs. And now I discover that many of those I had good
relationship with in Tuloy are ranging from 16 – 19 years old.
At
this age, I realize that a person succeeds in what he is doing only if he has a
great deal of confidence. And this is very true in dealing with young people.
Young people, especially the boys, look up to the elder person as something to
be modeled to in their life. And they can immediately sense if that elder
person is confident in himself or not. Self-confidence attracts other people.
And if one has nothing of it, he/she cannot expect to transform the environment
around him.
I am
just fascinated with this reality because my model for great self-confidence is
Don Bosco. I just can imagine how great was his confidence to say that next
Sunday the wandering oratory would have a place to call home. How great must
his confidence be when came out victorious in an attempt to bring him to the
mental hospital. There were many instances which I could say Don Bosco had
manifested great self-confidence to the boys and to people around him. His
great accomplishments were signs of this confidence: the building of MHC and
SHJ basilicas, the founding of the Salesian order, the continuous asking for
donations from rich families in order to feed his boys, etc. I am convinced he
did this because Don Bosco believed it could happen.
And
yet, he would usually say “Have devotion to Mary Help of Christians, and you
will see what miracles are”. That is where he got his self-confidence! And this
is where I am poor of. As a Salesian, I
am still far from the actuations of St.
John Bosco, in terms of deep faith and trust in the Lord. Many times, I say that I lack self-confidence.
Actually, I depended too much on myself, without trusting the power of God.
Consequently, all my self-trust considerations resulted in vain. I became so
frustrated in myself that in the end, I am not anymore confident I could make a
difference in the lives of the boys I met. It is as if I am betrayed by my own self, not realizing
that the effort of mine are in vain without Him who truly strengthens me.