An essay I wrote for school
people consider it so important? How can I make my marriage more meaningful? All
are valid questions that have been asked in our day and centuries before. The reality can
only be found in the power and mystery of sacramental marriage. This essay will study
the meaning, history and effects of a sacramental marriage.
What is a sacrament? The Catholic church has defined a sacrament as follows: "The
sacraments are efficacious signs of grace, instituted by Christ and entrusted to the
Church..." The term "efficacious sign" simply means, it does what it signifies. The
sacrament of marriage signifies God's love and covenant to his people; this love actually
becomes present in the married couples' life. Marriage in particular is a sacrament of
service. The sacraments of service send us on a particular mission to make God's love
present, and serve the people of God in the church.(Catechism, par. 1131)
Where did this sacrament come from? Marriage has always been found in the
Judeo-Christian tradition as a holy bond. It was first sanctified in the garden of Eden
when stated "a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of
them become one body."(Gen. 2:24) The sanctity of sexuality is further preserved in
Jewish Tradition as a strong symbol of the covenant. During Jesus' time this meaning
was strongly perverted as women were considered possessions and divorced with ease. It
is here that Jesus proclaims "they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God
has joined together no man shall separate" (Mt. 19:6) During Jesus' speech realize that
God wills the marriage bond, and sex is shown not to be dirty but something holy, pure
and grace filled. We see the indissolubility of the bond and the great relationship that
can build from it.(Pennock, 235)
Throughout history we see no constant format for the marriage ceremony. Although a
sacrament instituted by Christ, the Church's understanding of Marriage has developed over
the years. During the first centuries of the church "..marriage was seen as a civil and family
affair with Christian significance." During these early centuries, many argued that conjugal
love was only moral when used for the purpose of procreation. Heretics even claimed that
all sex was evil, to which the Church defended Marriage. (Pennock, 240-241)
During the middle ages the liturgy developed and priests were asked to bless the
marriage. By the twelfth century, the standard procedure of a priest and two witnesses
emerged. At the council of Trent it was officialy declared one of the seven sacraments, in which God's
grace is made present.(McCartney, 200-202)
Since then, the liturgy and rite has developed further. Marriage is considered a
liturgical act, in which the persons are committed to service for the sake of the church.
The service is performed ecclesiastically within the church. The Sacrament of Penance
is recommended before the ceremony as a form of preparation. (Catechism, par. 1622,
1631)
The service consists usually of the Liturgy of the Word and the Eucharist. These are
done to strengthen the persons in God's grace. The vows and exchanging of rings usually
happens after the homily. The common vow is as follows: "I N. take you N. to be my
husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in
health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life"(Pennock, 248)
It is here that the covenant begins. The couple administers the sacrament to each
other. The meaning and bond of the sacrament depends on the consent and
understanding of the persons involved. It cannot be anything more than what the couple
itself promises to each other. If one member of the couple never intended the bond to be forever, than the promise is false, along with the marriage. This is why marriage courses are needed in order to prepare for marriage. The people must know what they are getting into, for the sacrament to have a real effect. (McCartney, 208)
If and when the promise is valid, what is said actually happens. The couple makes an
honest pledge to remain faithful until death. This pledge is reflected in the actual joining
of the persons themselves. They become an "efficacious sign". The love they pledge is
present and alive in their relationship. They are making God's love present to both each
other and the entire church. The promise shows that "the persons...wish to declare before
the gathered community that their marriage is a blessed event in which they commit
themselves to live out their love together and forever... the married couple in effect says
'Look love is here and now. The God who is love is present.' " (Koch, 279)
The sacramental aspect of marriage does not end when the liturgical celebration is
over. The couple continues to show forth God's love as long as they remain together.
This love and grace is shown in two fundamental ways. The first is the love and union of
the spouses. The second is the openness to creation and the raising of children.(Pennock,
241)
The couple has entered into a permanent covenant with each other. The union, love
and indissolubility of the covenant shows forth the faithfulness and love of God's
covenant with man. The idea of a covenant is much different than the secular idea of
relationships. A covenant is not only indissoluble, but is also a total love that holds
nothing back. In an ideal marriage the spouses give themselves 100% to each other,
rather than a 50/50 give and take scenario. The covenant is always giving and never
taking. It involves every aspect of what it means to be human: body, mind and soul. This
sacrificial love of spouses makes present the complete sacrifice and love of Jesus,
described by Paul in Ephesians 5:25; "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved
the Church and gave himself over for her." (Pennock 244-245)
The fullest form of union in the marriage bond is conjugal love. True conjugal love is
not only a physical bond, but becomes both mental and spiritual. According to the
Catechism of the Catholic Church conjugal love has three aspects. First, the union is
indissoluble. This means nothing can break the union, it will endure until death. The
spouses are also expected to practice fidelity. They are to give themselves exclusively
and only to their marriage partners. The final good of conjugal love is openness to
fertility. They must be willing to share themselves entirely. This includes the creative
power of sex, that brings it to it's fullness. This includes the rearing of children in a
proper family. True conjugal love cannot exist outside the marriage bond, because none
of these requirements are fulfilled. (Catechism, par. 1643-1654)
Openness to fertility and the raising of children is the second way in which marriage
makes present God's grace and love. By being open to conception in a true marriage
bond, the couple becomes an efficacious sign of God's creative power. They can truly
become co-creators with God. Through the act of nurturing and raising children they
show forth the Fatherly love of God. They care and teach their children just as God cares
and teaches his people. Through raising children their service to the church brough to
great heights, as they catechize and evangelize their young. This is the reason why the
church will not marry couples who decide not to have children, and strictly forbids
contraception. Both are gravely opposed to the true meaning of marriage. (Pennock, 236)
Unfortunately in Today's society marriage has undergone many problems. Problems
of finances, fidelity, child-raising and moral decay have led to high divorce rates. Why
are people not remaining faithful to their promise? Many factors apply. What should we
do about it? The first thing to do is teach engaged couples the true meaning of marriage
and what it entitles. The church urges couples to try hard to always work it out, and to
remain faithful to their promise. This can be done through the sacraments and prayer.
God is always ready to help his people. If the promises made were completely honest,
then the marriage can endure through perseverance. (Koch, 279)
If however the couple realizes that they were not completely honest during the
marriage vows, an annulment can take place. An annulment states that the marriage was
never valid to begin with. The marriage was invalid if one partner did not fully
understand or mean the vows that were made. We should be careful of our expression of
annulments so that it does not become similar to a civil divorce. We should only use it in
true cases of invalidity. (Koch, 280)
Sacramental marriage enters a couple into a powerful and indissoluble bond.
Through true love and affection for each other and the raising of children, the married
couple becomes an efficacious sign of God's love for the church. They serve the church
by sharing in the creative and Fatherly roles of God. The fruits of marriage are well
expressed by Tertullian, "How can I ever express the happiness of a marriage joined by
the church....and ratified by the Father?.....How wonderful the bond between two
believers, now one in hope, one in desire, one in discipline, one in the same
service....Where the flesh is one, one also is the spirit." (Catechism, par.1642)
Works Cited
New American Bible with Revised Psalms and Revised New Testament. Confraternity of
Christian Doctrine: Washington D.C. 1991
Libreria Editrice Vaticana. Catechism of The Catholic Church. English Translation by
United States Catholic Conference Inc. : United States of America, 1994
Pennock, Micheal. The Sacraments and You. Ave Maria Press: Notre Dame, Indiana,
1981
McCartney, Michele. Loving: A Catholic Perspective on Vocational Lifestyle Choices.
Brown-ROA: Iowa, 1993
Koch FSC, Carl. Creating a Christian Lifestyle. St. Mary's Press: Terrance Heights, 1988
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