So my girl has this little crush on this slam poet, host of the very wacky anything goes Tourettes Without Regrets and one-third of the slam poet trio the Suicide Kings. His slam team coach pegged his poet archetype - "charming devil."
"Why do I like the weird one?"
Maybe the tattoos, the energy in his passionately spat diatribes about guns and debauchery, the surprisingly touching sensitivity revealed in the "you look like a hippo" love poem, the absolute irreverent no pulling punches screams. Personally, my first impression of him was his ramblings about drinking and interacting with other amazing poets at the National Poetry Slam 2002 competition in Minneapolis and something about dick slapping somebody or other. Whatever. Funny and insane can be very cute, so the friends nodded approval.
"I dare you to read him your haiku."
She doesn't recite it to him, but does write it down:
[His name fits right here]
Can I have my way with you?
No longer jail bait
"The bear touched my no-no spot."
I'm trying to be a good wingman. The Tourettes Without Regrets hosts distributed mailing labels with printed messages like "I hate you a lot" and "Pity F#ck" for sticking on ourselves and each other as appropriate.
The new dare: sticker Jamie Kennedy with "The bear touched my no-no spot" somewhere near his, er, no-no spot.
The set up: small talk about slams and the Thursday event and blah blah blah. Finally, rip the "Pity" off the sticker on his lapel. "It reads much better like that, pointing to the "F#ck" label. Then she shakes her head, "Actually, THIS," she says, affixing "The bear touched my no-no spot" label right on his shirt bottom, "is much better."
I DOUBLE DARE YOU
His email message to her read, "If that was you that wrote on the mailing list in red pen below your email address, I call your bluff and dare you to call me." Apparently he noticed the scribbled message.
I guess the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but the way to a poet is with a haiku.
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