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Originally Written: Tuesday, July 30, 2002 - Thursday, August 22, 2002

This video is the one-year anniversary show of Xtreme Professional Wrestling (XPW). The show and tape are called, "Go Funk Yourself," and here's a description of the event from the tape box's back cover:

"'Table Breakin', Chair Swingin'
Blood Gushin' Xtreme Wrestling!!!

'XPW celebrates their one-year anniversary with the most action packed pro wrestling show ever seen. Live from the world famous Los Angeles Sports Arena. XPW fans witnessed the greatest night in XPW history. Relive and see just why XPW tells the rest of the wrestling world to 'Go Funk Yourself.''"

VIDEO REVIEW:

"XPW Go Funk Yourself," Copyright 2001 by Goldhil Home Media International (approximately 132 min.). All rights reserved.

BEGINNING OF VIDEO:

- F.B.I. Copyright Warning.

- Goldhil Video: www.goldhil.com.

- A warning for the viewer is shown (there are no periods):

"THIS TAPE IS FOR ADULTS ONLY

"NO ONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 MAY PURCHASE THIS TAPE

"PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS STRONGLY SUGGESTED"

- XPW warns its fans and viewers that its athletes are trained athletes and that they have practiced the manuevers and stuns shown on this tape many times (some for years). Don't try what you see on this tape at home.

- Graphic: "XPW Home Video presents"...Fade to next graphic..."XPW GO FUNK YOURSELF ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SHOW"

- We see a kick-ass music video featuring XPW and it's past and (then) present stars: (including) "The Living Legend" Terry Funk, Sabu, The Messiah (a future-CZW World Heavyweight Champion), Damien Steele, Homeless Jimmy, Supreme, Carlito Montana, Pogo the Clown, Axl Rotten, Kid Kaos (currently, "Kaos"), The Westsiders (a.k.a. The Westside NGZ) (Chronic & Big Rott), Josh Lazie (Sabu's manager), "White Trash" Johnny Webb (would eventually become, "WEBB"), Dynamite D (currently, "D"), Shane Douglas, Lizzy Borden, Chris Candido, TOOL, Steve Rizzono, Mexico's Most Wanted, Nozawa, Tracy Smothers, "The Tall Cool One" Jake Lawless, The Public Enemy (Johnny Grunge & Rocco Rock), porn star Kristi Myst (Supreme's manager), Lady Victoria (Mexico's Most Wanted's manager), Tammy Lynn Sytch (Chris Candido's real-life wife), (John) Kronus, and others.

The song used ("Five Finger Crawl," by Danzig) is awesome.

- We now move on to the XPW commentator's booth, where XPW commentators Kris Kloss (on the the viewer's left) and Larry Rivera (on the viewer's right) are sitting down, ready to introduce the viewer(s) to the show. Kloss: "Ladies and gentleman - welcome to XPW Home Video, as we present, 'Go Funk Yourself' - July twenty-second, two thousand, from the L.A. Sports Arena, as we here in XPW celebrate our one-year anniversary."

Rivera, who is incredibly Latino, now speaks, and it's very hard to understand what he says, as his accent is very, very noticable. However, this is what he says: "That's right, wrestling fans - the Los Angeles Sports Arena, and history is being made, as Robert Black - the Donald Trump of the professional wrestling business - brings in Terry Funk to try to take away the XPW Heavyweight Title from the one and only Sabu."

Kloss again takes over: "And, ladies and gentleman - also in Go Funk Yourself, we have King of the Deathmatch Supreme defending his crown - in a deathmatch - against The Messiah." Fade out.

- We now cut to the show...

Here's the show's info if you're interested:

EVENT: XPW's One-Year Anniversary Show: "XPW Go Funk Yourself"
DATE: July 22, 2000
LOCATION: Los Angeles, California
VENUE: The Los Angeles Sports Arena

- We cut to the acual show, where the ringside fans are repeatedly chanting, "Sabu!" as "The Arabian Maniac" and reigning XPW World Champion, accompanied by Josh Lazie (Sabu's indy manager) [Lazie is a former-bass guitarist for popular rock band Danzig], accompanies him down him the aisleway to the ring. Lazie and Sabu's cool entrance theme ("Firemass," by Danzig) is playing really loud in the background. Anyway, Lazie, followed by Sabu, enters the ring, and Lazie hugs Kris Kloss (who is in the ring), and then takes a few steps over to Larry Rivera (who is also in the ring), pretends to be about to hug him, but instead suddenly pulls back and flips him off with his middle finger. Sabu (wearing his signature cloak, headdress, and other usual attire) follows Lazie into the ring, does his signature "point to the sky" and salutes the fans. Lazie grabs a microphone and tries to get some words out, but the mic doesn't work too well and the theme song is far too loud for anybody to hear him.

Once the song finally is turned off and the microphone works, Lazie treats the fans to a promo (note that none of the curse words uttered are bleeped out unless it's noted that they are): "That's the way we treat you fair-weathered motherf*ckers here in XPW! Watch your mouth ya' p*ssy (points out to crowd, probably at a fan with some sign or something)! First of all, let me tell you this - I personally wanna' thank every one of you for coming out to this XPW show, cuz', after last weeked (the XPW invasion of the ECW HeatWave Pay-Per-View had just occurred), it's not cool to be an XPW fan. Kevin, turn the mic up. [referring to XPW Executive V.P. Kevin Kleinrock; he's basically right under Rob Black and Lizzy Borden in terms of power in XPW]." By the way, if you're curious, during this promo, Sabu is just walking around in the ring.

Anyway, Lazie continues: "After last weekend, they tried to say, 'It's not cool to be an XPW fan. It's not cool to come to XPW.' I godda' admit, I don't agree - I don't agree with everything that went on, but seeing everybody out here tonight just once again shows those p*ssies on the east coast that they can't come to California and f*ck with us!!! We showed them who we are. Tonight, we're gonna' show them who we are again. What's our f*ckin' name?!" The fans respond with an "X-P-W!" yell. Cut out.

- We now see an XPW exploding logo graphic and then fade back in to about a minute or so later after the promo that was just viewed, when the then-premier XPW stable, The Black Army, walks through the curtain. It's led by it's leader and XPW Owner (at the time, he was the XPW co-CEO, along with Josh Lazie, but only in storyline; he and his real-life wife, Lizzy Borden, really owned the company), Rob Black (eyebrow ring and all), followed by Lizzy Borden (Black's real-life porn actress wife), Jake Lawless (who looks just like the Kevin Nash of the early - mid-90's [when he was "Diesel]), Steve Rizzono, The Messiah, (John) Kronus, and Tracy Smothers. The army makes their way down to the ring, and, as they walk, pull away from fans attempting to touch them, which just furthers their heel heat. Once they get down to the ring, Black, who's carrying a cane and a microphone, speaks into his mic:

"You know, [then, after some inaudible words]...and cheer for all these fans - for all the support that they've given us, but I didn't do what I did last week for any of these sons of b*tches out there. I did it for my friends. I did it for my friends in Atlanta, because me and WCW have a common hatred, and that's for that son of a bitch, Paul Heyman, back on the east coast [At the time, to further interest in the product, Black made a storyline that saw him commonly say that he and WCW had a business relationship, which would make some "marks" see XPW as a bigger name promotion.]! And if any of you stupid marks [referring to the fans in attendance] think I did what I did for you, then you are so f*cking sadly mistaken.

"I listen to all you marks - all you internet marks. You type on your computers - 'Rob Black is this. Rob Black is that. He's not good on the mic. He doesn't punch good [WTF?].' Well, guess what? [into camera lens] F*ck (that was bleeped out partially) you! I can do whatever I want! I got a microphone. I own this f*ckin' company, and you don't! That's why you sit there and you pay your thirty dollars to see me! [he now turns toward the ring and refers his promo to Lazie and Sabu] Let me tell you, Sabu - We're gonna' kick your ass."

So, with that, Kronus (in terrible shape), climbs into the ring towards Sabu, only to get punked out. Sabu fights off several other army members, including The Messiah, Kronus (again), Tracy Smothers, Steve Rizzono, and Kraq. Let me just say that what I just saw was the epitomy of terrible selling. Most of the army members sold Sabu's offense horribly, falling down before the punch's got even close or awhile after the punch was already landed. Also, most of the members got in the ring and waited for about two or three seconds until Sabu was done with another guy before they even pulled back for a punch. Very amateur selling... Anyway, The army members are by now out of the ring, and the colossal masked man, simply known as, "TOOL," also enters the ring to also fend off the army. He was a face and, at the time, was also feuding with the army.

Sabu sees TOOL enter, and they then face different ways of the ring, looking for any other army members trying to re-enter the ring (they're all on the outside recovering from their beating at the hands of Sabu). Sabu and TOOL slowly back up before suddenly bumping into eachother's backs, prompting them to immediately turn around to see who or what they felt. They tease being about to go at it (fight), and when TOOL bending down to grab the XPW title belt, Sabu also bends down and eventually pulls it away, regaining possession of it (it's his title belt). They continue facing off until the voice of Terry Funk, the man scheduled to challenge Sabu for the XPW title in the night's main event, suddenly breaks the silence (Kloss and Rivera act as if they're unaware of who it is) on a microphone from somewhere in the arena.

Funk begins talking into his mic as Sabu peers around the arena for awhile before eventually spotting him walking down the aisleway. Funk: "Heeeeey, Sabu! Sabu! Well...(pause) you're looking at the king of hardcore. Do you hear that?! [Rob Black has come over to Funk and is standing behind him as the challenger for Sabu's title later tonight gradually makes his way down the aisle way; Funk, for this one night, has clearly aligned himself with Black's army] Sabu, [some ringside fans try to begin a "TOOL!" chant] you're looking at the king of hardcore. Not you...me. Take a good look at that belt. (NOTE: that Funk is carrying the microphone in his left hand and, in his right, an XPW branding iron [w/ an "X" on the end of it]) You're gonna' have it for about a hour and a half more, and then I'm onna' take it away from you, (pause) because you're nothing but a chicken choking pecker puke (WTF?).

And I am going to beat you tonight, and there wil be no queston in anybody's mind. Come on. Come on. Let's go right now." Funk climbs up the ring steps and then into the ring. Sabu and Lazie climb out, and TOOL follows. Funk is the only man in the ring right now. Sabu wants a piece of Funk, as he is scrambling around the ring, with Lazie holding him back. Funk, still is carrying the XPW branding iron, signals for his foe to re-enter so that they can get it on right now, and Sabu eventually, once Funk is in the middle of the squared circle, climb into the ring and confront Funk. Sabu scrambles back and forth on his side of the ring, begging Funk to move closer. Lazie has to climb in and hold Sabu back in the corner so that he doesn't try to charge Funk or anything. Funk climbs out onto the ring apron. Lazie and Sabu taunt Funk until two ring security guards wearing XPW t-shirts enter the ring and subdue Sabu, making sure that he doesn't get at Funk until the main event.

Funk climbs off of the apron and to the concrete below, looking to be heading back to the dressing room as Sabu is still trying to fight out of the grasp of the security guards. He eventually does find a way past them, and immediately charges to the opposite corner and onto the second turnbuckle, yelling for Funk to come back. The guards hustle over and again block him from running out towards Funk. Lazie then starts speaking into the mic that he was using before: "You'll have your time, old man. Rob Black, you step in the ring with us and we beat the f*ck (<partially bleeped) you of you every time, and tonight's not gonna' be any different! [turns toward crowd] What's our motherf*ckin' (<partially bleeped) name?!" The crowd, like before, responds with an "X-P-W!" yell.

With that, Sabu's theme ("Firemass," by Danzig) again hits and Lazie places the microphone down in the corner of the ring. Sabu holds up his title belt and does his sky point as Lazie salutes the crowd. The two then exit the ring, side-by-side, and head back to the lockerroom. Kloss and Rivera hype the Funk/Sabu main event later in the night (tape). Cut out.

- We see a graphic hyping the next match (Nosawa vs. Pogo the Clown), an exploding XPW logo graphic, and then cut back in to where the more than 400 lb. Pogo the Clown (if you've never heard of XPW's Pogo the Clown, CLICK HERE for some background info on his character), face paint and all, is walking down the aisleway, making his entrance. We eventually get a good closeup of him and we see that he's carrying his large signature shovel. He glares at the camera as Kloss mentions that Nosawa (Pogo's opponent) is a member of Gurentai (a Japanese tag team where he also teams w/ (Mitsunobu) Kikuzawa and Rivera informs us that he was trained by the Japanese hardcore legend Atsushi Onita.

We now see that Pogo is also carrying a pink mirror (that's about one half foot long). He goes over to an eight-or-so year old kid at ringside (the kid wants a high-five, but he's not getting it) and looks back and forth between the mirror and the kid before hideously smiling. Pogo then walks away from the ringside fans and looks straight into the camera (from only a few inches away). This is a really cool and creative gimmick. While it may be controversial, it's very unique. Pogo takes off his red Christmas-style pom-pom hat and drops it, along with his shovel, on the ringside floor before raising both of his middle fingers high for the crowd to see. Believe it or not, at the time, this guy was a major face with the fans.

Pogo walks around the ring, passing four fans who are each holding up four individual signs (each with a different letter ["P," "O," "G," or another "O"]) that spell out, "P O G O." He doesn't noticably achknowledge it. The massive giant then rolls into the ring under the bottom rope and stands back up in the corner. XPW Ring Announcer "Guido" (real name: Mark Mancini) (not to be confused w/ former-ECW star "Little" Guido Maritato) reads off of an index card as he introduces Pogo (the intro is hard to hear), and then introduces Nosawa. XPW really needs better microphones, as I can barely hear Guido. Nosawa poses for the crowd upon hearing his intro, but it's clear that he's not only the heel in this match, but also the underdog.

MATCH ONE: NOSAWA vs. POGO the CLOWN (referee: Danny Ramirez)

The referee signals for the bell, and it rings, so we're now underway with our first match at XPW's one-year anniversary show. The two circle around with teasing Pogo with a "Nanna-nanna boo boo; You can't catch me!" - like demeanor. The two continue their face off, but when Pogo goes to tie up, the midget-sized (in relation to Pogo) Nosawa ducks under his arms and ends up behind him. Nosawa again procedes to taunt his opponent with the above antics. The two again circle around, and when Pogo goes to tie up, Nosawa again ducks under him, ending up behind him. This time, as soon as Pogo turns around, he receives a double-leg dropkick that nails him in the chin with pin-point accuracy. Nosawa immediately gets up and nails another (this time standard [regular]) dropkick, once again to his foe's chin. Both times Pogo wobbles, but he manages to stay up. He's now leaning up against the ropes.

Nosawa lands two thrust (super) kicks to Pogo's chin (the giant is still leaing on the ropes) and then runs off of the opposite ropes and baseball slides through Pogo's legs out to the concrete, where he proceeds to double-leg trip him. Pogo lands face-first on the mat, and Nosawa yanks him out of the ring by his right foot. With Pogo now on the concrete, Nosawa climbs back into the ring and, once Pogo is back up, runs off of the ropes and flies out of the ring through the top and middle ring ropes with a nice diving cannonball [somersault senton] attack suicida. While it does some damage, as Pogo is sent down to the conrete, Pogo is so massive that Nosawa literally bounces off of his back and lands on the concrete himself. Some ringside fans begin an "X-P-Dub!" chant as Nosawa makes it back up to his feet and goes over to Pogo, who he nails in the head with three vertical (head) chops (which Kloss calls, "forearms"). Nosawa then climbs onto the apron, leaps off, and hits another flying vertical chop, sending Pogo back down onto the concrete.

Nosawa now lifts Pogo back up and rolls him into the ring under the bottom rope and then climbs in himself. Pogo is in the corner with his back to Nosawa, and he receives a kick, followed by three more vertical chops and a European uppercut. Nosawa walks back out of the corner and taunts the fans for a moment before coming back and delivering two more (standard [regular]) chops. He then attempts to whip Pogo into the opposite corner, but the massive giant stops suddenly swings back and just floors his smaller foe with a vicious lariat! That spot was done well. Nosawa sells it hilariously, as he sits up a bit and flutters his arms up and down, as if he's seeing birds after that stiff shot. Pogo is actually known to be fairly stiff in the ring. Nonetheless, he is said to be pretty popular backstage with the other XPW workers, and he must be able to associate with others pretty well, as he's survived in XPW for several years now.

Anyway, Pogo goes over to Nosawa (who's lying on the mat) and delivers a stomp, followed by a sledgehammer fist to his foe's back. Pogo lifts Nosawa back up and bodyslams him back down. Nosawa begins attempting to rise back up, but Pogo pushes him back down, and then bounces off of the ropes and, as some fans begin a small "Po-Go!" chant, delivers a big (non-jumping) elbow drop. That guy is big. Pogo covers him, but the referee stops at 2. Kloss, Rivera, and me are all unsure if Pogo released his pin or if Nosawa actually kicked out. I think Nosawa kinda' kicked out, but I'm not too sure. It was pretty hard to tell. Anyway, Pogo, now on his knees, drives two punches into Nosawa's head before lifting him back up. Pogo whips Nosawa into the ropes and floors him with his signature inverted spinning back elbow smash.

Pogo picks Nosawa back up again and, this time, drops him face-first onto the mat with his signature front vertical suplex. Nosawa stands up on his knees and tries to beg Pogo off, but Pogo shows no mercy and kicks him back down. Pogo decides that it's time to finish his opponent off, as he picks Nosawa back up, lifts him onto his shoulders, and drops down, sending Nosawa bouncing off of his (Pogo's) shoulders and back onto the mat. Pogo, at the time, called that move, "The Closed Casket Grunge," as Kloss called it, but he'd eventually come to call it, "Buried in the Basement." The move is technically called a "Sitdown Fireman Carry Gutbuster," but if you're having trouble picturing it, it could also simply be called a "Sitdown Fireman Carry." Anyway, Pogo grapevines Nosawa's left leg and covers him for the easy 1-2-3. The referee signals for the bell. It rings, and the match is over.

WINNER: POGO the CLOWN

- After the match, referee Danny Ramirez raises Pogo's arm before the mammoth stands back up. The referee again raises Pogo's arm when...a fairly chubby Japanese guy wearing the same t-shirt as Nosawa (a blue "Gurentai" t-shirt) comes up from behind him and nails the winner of the match with a steel chair shot to the back. Kloss and Rivera inform us that this is the other member of Gurentai. This newcomer would eventually become known in XPW as, "Kikuzawa," while in Japan he was known as, "Mitsunobu Kikuzawa." Two more chairshots to Pogo's back hurt the big guy, but can't knock him off of his feet. Nosawa is now back up, and he and Kikuzawa both deliver a flurry of stomps to the back of Pogo, who's by now on his hands and knees. Kikuzawa delivers an axehandle smash to Pogo's back, and the Japanese duo then run off of the ring ropes and try to clothesline Pogo out to the concrete, but the big guy just won't go over. The two try the same thing once again, but Pogo is ready, as he takes a few steps forward and drops them face-first onto the mat with a double flapjack.

Pogo immediately crawls out of the ring through the bottom and middle ropes. Pogo goes to where he put his pink mirror, and he picks it up and eerily looks into it, and then at the camera. After proceeding to shout at some ringside fans, he picks up his shovel and walks around the ring, lifting the shovel up in triumph. He passes the guys with the four signs with the letters of his name, and then sees a camera directly in front of him, so he proceeds to move his face within a few inches of it and lick it. His teeth can be seen, and I must say he should be brushing more often. A ringside fan touches or hits him or something, prompting him to try to grab at the fan, albeit unsuccessfully. He then walks off back to the lockerroom as the groggy Gurentai members are finally making it back to their feet in the ring. They raise their arms triumphantly, and Nosawa flashes both of his middle fingers at the crowd while Kikuzawa shouts, "X-P-W...suuuuuuucks," to the fans on the other side of the ring. Nosawa climbs out while Kikuzawa starts to head towards the ropes. Cut out.

POST-MATCH THOUGHTS: This was pretty short, and I'm glad that it was. Nosawa, while about the same size, looks to be no Taka Michinoku (Nosawa is a tiny bit larger, though). He's probably more like Sho(ichi) Funaki. Pogo can work considerably well for his size (a little bit worse than Rikishi, but that's still pretty good for his size [he's even larger than Rikishi, too]), but he's obviously nothing special. Let's put it this way: he's a terrible overall worker, but for his size, he's a relatively good one. His finisher is cool, and the lariat he did looked very stron. Other than that and the Nosawa's cannonball somersault senton early in the match, this was really a throw-away match. However, I have realized that Pogo's gimmick is very unique and very cool. If he could learn to work a bit better, he could become a solid competitor.
RATING: 5/8*

- We see a graphic hyping the next match (Mexico's Most Wanted vs. The Westsiders in a handicap match), an exploding XPW logo, and then cut back in to where the video of The Westside NGZ blasts over The Xtreme Screen, which is XPW's version of The Titan Tron/Turner Tron. The two blacks (no racism intended; I'm just trying to describe them) come out, with Chronic (the smaller one) in front of Big Rott (obviously, the bigger one). Both men are wearing "2 Pac shirts" (in member of murdered rapper 2 Pac Shakur (sp?), just like New Jack regularly did and still does. Both men get up on the middle turnbuckles and shout out to the crowd. Rott shows off his really big tongue, sticking it out to the crowd. In short, it's huge. After they climb off of the turnbuckles, they do some gangsta' rap-like dance moves for the crowd.

Kloss and Rivera point out that The Westsiders (they're called both The Westsiders and The Westside NGZ, since you're probably wondering) actually drove XPW Ring Announcer Guido through a table not too long ago (then not too long ago). Chronic kisses hand and then slaps his behind, telling the crowd to, "kiss my a**." These two, of course, are the heels in this match, and they're apparently going to be fighting three others in a handicap match. Meanwhile, Rott bounces up and down on the middle ring rope. He then hops off and he and his partner do a few more dance moves and talk quietly with eachother for the crowd until the video of their opponents shows over The Xtreme Screen. After several moments, Mexico's Most Wanted finally comes out through the smoky entrance corridor. Lady Victoria leads (in order) Damien 666 (wearing black-and-white face paint), Halloween (wearing orange face paint) and finally Rey Misterio Sr.

Rey is the uncle of Rey Mysterio Jr. (my favorite wrestler ever), and trained (among others) Rey Jr. and Psichosis. If you've never seen him before, he looks like a larger (and of course more Mexican; he's also a bit fatter) version of fellow-XPW star Kid Kaos (now "Kaos"), who will be competing later tonight. Also, he is not nearly as aerial as Rey Jr. While he can fly, he rarely does, instead usually opting to assault his opponents with various weapons. Anyway, Halloween charges into the ring and climbs up onto the second buckle. A second or so after, then Damien (out of camera range) and Victoria (who crawls in under the bottom rope), and finally Misterio, who is actually wearing a wig with long black hair and a big black hat like Buff Bagwell used to wear. The Westsiders hurry out of the ring to give MMW their room.

Misterio stands there in the ring while Halloween climbs onto the middle ring rope and salutes the crowd and Damien climbs onto the first turnbuckle and holds up a Mexican national flag replica. The fans begin a "Lucha Libre! Libre! Libre!" chant (which is barely audible), and MMW play up to it, encouraging them to continue it. Halloween does a Hulk Hogan-like "hand to ear" taunt, which sparks the chant to get far louder and finally audible. Meanwhile, Victoria is trying to speak into a microphone, but the combination of the loudness of the chants and the crappiness of XPW mics cause her to be unaudible. Finally, the viewer can at least hear the voice of Victoria, but it is still impossible to decipher what she's actually saying. The Westsiders now climb up onto the apron and try to get in and attack their opponents, but the referee blocks them from climbing through the ropes.

Halloween takes the mic from Victoria and says some more inaudible words, and Damien does the same. It certainly gets The Westsiders fuming, as both quickly climb through the ropes and into the ring, urging their opponents to start the match. Suddenly, though, the music of Carlito Montana hits and he comes out. However, we quickly pan back into the ring and see both teams talking trash to eachother. Finally, once Carlito is near the ring, we get a shot of him. He's wearing some brown shades (sun glasses w/ brown lens), and the easy way to describe him is that he looks like Vince Russo, only that he's a Cuban version and he has a bit less hair. Otherwise, the two look a lot similar.

Carlito, smoking a cigar, says some very muffled words into a microphone as he's climbing up the ring steps (as he climbs up them, he puffs out a bunch of smoke from his mouth. here's what he says:

"Everybody knows - Everybody knows I hate n*ggers [bleeped out]. Well, I'm gonna' tell ya' something right now - damn, I hate wetbacks!"

Those are all racial slurs, in case you're wondering. Both MMW and The Westsiderse are not too happy with him, now. Carlito is standing face-to-face with Misterio now, and Rey Jr.'s uncle takes the mic away from him and, after a few inaudible words, yells, "Death to moderate(s)!" With that, everybody charges eachother and begins going at it.

MATCH TWO: The Westsiders (BIG ROTT & CHRONIC) & CARLITO MONTANA vs. Mexico's Most Wanted (DAMIEN 666, HALLOWEEN, & REY MISTERIO Sr.) (w/ Lady Victoria) (referee: Danny Ramirez)

The bell rings, and we're officially off with the night's second bout. Halloween is brawling with Chronic, Misterio with Carlito, and Damien with Rott. Halloween quickly gets Chronic down on the mat and stomps him out of the ring. Halloween then goes over to help Damien, who's being hammered repeatedly by Rott, and the two eventually punch Rott out of the ring through the middle and top ring ropes. Meanwhile, Misterio is beating up Carlito with punches and stomps, and Damien and Halloween come over toward there as Misterio DDT's his foe out of the corner. Carlito rolls out of the ring and onto the concrete, leaving MMW to celebrate. Damien and Halloween each climb up onto second turnbuckles and rile up the fans, while Misterio shouts out to the crowd. MMW then bunch up and wait for their opponents to re-enter, and Misterio picks up a cigarette (probably Carlito's) and pretends to smoke it for a second before tossing it out of the ring.

Carlito has taken his coat off and now has his chest bare. Carlito and Chronic give eachother some pointers as, back in the ring, Halloween and Misterio climb out onto the apron, leaving Damien as the match's legal man. The Westsiders and Carlito climb back onto the apron, ready to start the match. Rott climbs back into the ring to challenge Damien as the other legal man, and Damien immediately takes a few quick steps toward him and delivers a gutkick and a punch. Rott reverses the irish whip and sends Damien into the ropes. Damien, though, shows off his aerial style and hits a middle ring rope Slingshot (Back Springboard) Crossbody Press onto Rott, who pushes him off at 2. Damien runs off the ropes, ducks under Rott's attempted lariat, and again sends the big man down to the mat, this time with a middle ring rope Slingshot (Back Springboard) Dropkick. Damien tags in Misterio, who comes in, while Rott tags in Carlito.

Carlito immediately springboards in with a dropkick, sending Damien down. Misterio, though, who's the legal man (along with Carlito), charges and slides under Carlito's attempted leaping calf kick (with the opposite leg that Booker T would use when in that position [the leg farthest away from Misterio]). Misterio hesitates to throw a blow once Carlito is up, so Carlito delivers a punch and a chop, and then whips him into MMW's corner. Carlito charges and lariats Misterio, pancaking him into the buckle, and Misterio then stumbles over to the next buckle (in clockwise order). Carlito goes over there and delivers two chops (one which the camera didn't catch, but I'm pretty sure there were two) before attempting to whip Misterio across the ring into the corner, only to have the whip reversed. Carlito crashes into the buckle, but when Misterio charges, he eats Carlito's right boot, which the Cuban had lifted up into the air.

Carlito then charges, but runs right into a (swinging) powerslam. Misterio got him very high, and the altitude actually made the move look a bit like a Jackhammer. Misterio hesitates for a few moments before covering Carlito, allowing him to kick out at 2. Misterio waits for Carlito to make it back up to his feet, and he blocks an attempted punch slaps the taste out of the young Cuban. Misterio follows with two chops, which send Carlito back into the turnbuckle. Misterio then brings him a few feet to the (viewer's) and tries to whip him, but Carlito reverses it and sends Misterio into the ropes. Carlito, though, bends down, probably to attempt a back body drop, so Misterio stops in his stride and kicks him back up. Carlito stumbles around a bit before falling back down onto the mat, and Misterio runs off of the ropes and tries a leaping senton (back) splash, but Carlito moves and Misterio lands hard on his back.

Both immediately rise back up and an off balance Carlito botches an attempted dropkick (which looked more like a big boot/dropkick combo), missing Misterio by several inches. Carlito gets back up quickly but is sent back down to the mat moments later with Misterio's dropkick. Chronic now climbs in and thrust (super) kicks Misterio down, and the Mexican legend rolls out through the bottom and middle ropes. Halloween now comes in and Chronic ducks under his attempted lariat, only to receive a chop, and then have his t-shirt partially ripped down. Halloween delivers another chop, but Chronic ducks another attempt, and, after hesitating for a moment, gutkicks Halloween. Chronic uses two more gutkicks (these two jumping are versions), and then tries a running bulldog, but Halloween pushes him into the ropes. Chronic bounces off of them and shoulderblocks Halloween down.

Halloween bounces off the ropes again (the ones immediately before the ones he just bounced off of [in clockwise order]), hops over Halloween, and bounces off of the opposite ropes. Halloween is up, though, and he flips Chronic over with a cool-looking armdrag. Once his foe is back up, Halloween charges him, but receives his own armdrag courtesy of Chronic. Both quickly rise back up and Halloween sweeps the legs out from under Chronic. He then tries a cover, but Chronic rolls him over, and they both rise again. Chronic, this time, sweeps the legs out from under Halloween, and then attempts a cover, but Halloween pushes him off. Both get up immediately, and Chronic ducks a lariat, but Halloween ducks an attempted jumping spinning calf kick. Both start talking trash to eachother, and then turn around. Carlito takes the oppurtunity to run in and plant Halloween face-first running bulldog/face-buster combo.

Misterio, though, then climbs in and delivers his own running bulldog onto Chronic, planting him face-first into the mat. Misterio looks to have partially blocked an attempted punch by Carlito. Another punch connects, sending Misterio tumbling out of the ring through the bottom and middle ropes, and Carlito follows him out. Carlito throws Misterio face-first into the guardrail. After climbing onto the guardrail over Misterio and using a Justin Credible-like taunt toward the crowd, Carlito again throws Misterio into the rail. Carlito again yells out at the crowd and then punches (albeit weakly) Misterio. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Halloween uses a single-leg takedown on Chronic. Damien goes over to Chronic's feet and, with the help of Halloween, uses a wheelbarrow pickup, but instead of bringing him over into a suplex, drops The Westsider back down face-first into the mat with their (MMW's) signature Spike Inverted Sitdown Powerbomb (Damien performing the move and Halloween spiking Chronic's face into the mat).

Damien, still down on the mat in the inverted sitdown powerbomb position, holds up Chronic's face as Halloween backs up into the corner, charges, and clips Chronic's face with a seated dropkick (low double-leg dropkick). Damien rolls out to the concrete, leaving Halloween to celebrate back inside of the ring. On the outside, Rott uses two forearm/punch combos on Damien, while Misterio throws Carlito over the ringside table, and then proceeds to powerbomb him through it. Back in the ring, Chronic rips off his t-shirt and throws it through the ropes out to the concrete. Rott, standing on the outside, hands him a steel chair through the ropes. Rott then climbs onto the apron, and the two watch Lady Victoria, on the apron, argue with referee Danny Ramirez (in the ring). Carlito, on The Westsider's side of the ring, climbs up the ring steps and then into the ring. On the MMW side, Misterio climbs up the ring steps (on that side of the ring), and, as Victoria hops off of the ring apron, then into the ring.

Misterio, with a staple gun in hand, gutkicks Carlito, who was charging toward him. He then salutes the crowd as he drags Carlito into the corner. We can see Damien and Rott brawling on the outside right near Misterio and Carlito. Anyway, in the ring's corner, staples Carlito's forehead, and the young Cuban drops down into a sitting position in the corner. Misterio also sits down (on one knee) and again staples Carlito's forehead. He may have actually delivered another (I'm not sure) a second or so before Big Rott comes up from behind Misterio and forearms him in the back before going back to brawling with whoever he was brawling with. It has little or no effect on Misterio, though, who again, for the third (and possibly fourth) time, staples Carlito's forehead! Misterio stands back up and Carlito starts to climb back up to his feet, shaking his head all the while, presumably to throw any blood that's in his eyes off.

Damien rolls back into the ring, stumbles over to Carlito, leans against the ropes for a moment, and then brings him to the other side of the ring. There, he whips him into the ropes and dropkicks him down. Carlito rolls out of the ring to the concrete, and Damien charges toward the ropes, looking to hit some kind of catapult plancha, but suddenly stops when Carlito stumbles away. The young Cuban doesn't find any safety, though, as Misterio flies out of nowhere, catching him with a flying vertical plancha. Carlito's head is pretty bloody by now. Misterio rests for a few moments before climbing back up to his feet. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Damien charges out of the corner and floors Rott with a lariat. He then goes over to the opposite corner and punches Chronic, on the apron, twice. However, the Westsider bends down in between the top and middle ropes and shoulderblock headbutts Damien, sending the MMW member stumbling a few feet and down to the mat.

Chronic climbs into the ring and helps Rott up, and then goes over to Halloween, on another apron, and hits him in the back of the head. Rott picks up a chair and throws it to Chronic, who catches it. Halloween climbs through the ropes himself and into the corner. He then tries to lariat Rott down, but the big guy ducks just as Chronic pulls back, takes a few steps in and swings the chair. Halloween, though, ducks, and Rott goes down to the mat. Chronic looks at the damage he just caused, and when he turns around, Halloween sends the chair into his face with a thrust (super) kick. Rott has rolled out of the ring, and he's now leaning against the apron. Halloween charges and leaps in between the bottom and middle ropes, sending Rott down hard onto the concrete with a double-leg low dropkick. Carlito gets back up to his feet as just a few feet away from him, Halloween, now on the outside, picks up a table on that's layed flat on the concrete floor and slides it into the ring. The bloody Carlito delivers a double axehandle smash to the back of Misterio, who's leaning against the apron.

Halloween picks up Rott and leads him out of camera range as Misterio gains control back by hitting Carlito in the gut and then slaps him across the face. As Halloween is leaving the picture, he slides a steel chair backwards across the floor. Misterio delivers another hard slap to Carlito's face as the fans begin a "Table!" chant. This is because, back in the ring, Damien has set up a table near the corner. Chronic is right near him, leaning against the turnbuckle. Back on the outside, Rott whips Halloween, and the MMW member, absolutely flies over the guardrail and lands on a pile of set up chairs! Back in the ring, Damien hammers Chronic, who's sitting on the top-rope, and then climbs up onto the top-rope himself. Chronic, though, leaps off of the middle buckle and pushes Damien off, causing the Mexican star to land in a crotched position on the top ring rope. Damien falls onto the apron, and then crawls back into the ring.

Back on the outside, meanwhile, Carlito, sitting on the concrete, manages to use leverage to trip Misterio down, causing him to go face-first into the guardrail. Rott now crawls into the ring as Lady Victoria, who's apparently entered the ring, slaps Chronic, standing in the corner, across the face and then delivers four chest slaps until Rott grabs her by the hair from behind, turns her around, and gutkicks her. He then cinches her up and front suplexes her up onto the right shoulder of Chronic, who's now sitting on the top-rope. Rott helps steady her for a few moments before backing up, just as Chronic leaps off of the middle rope and uses a Fire Thunder Driver (Sitdown Over-the-Shoulder Belly-to-Belly [Tombstone] Piledriver through legs) to spike Victoria through the table in the ring. Chronic climbs back up to his feet as Halloween, who has apparently now re-entered the ring, runs in from out of camera range, only to be caught with Rott's pretty nicely done Spinning Spinebuster Bomb (Sitdown Spinebuster through legs).

Both Rott and Damien get up at the same time, and Rott lifts him up in a spinebuster-like hold (almost like a bearhug). Chronic, meanwhile, twice bounces off of the ropes and then spinning front heelkicks Damien into Rott's Spinebuster. The Westsiders call that move, "The Driveby," as Kloss and Rivera just pointed out. Chronic hooks Damien's leg, and referee Danny Ramirez makes the three count, albeit very quickly.

WINNERS: The Westsiders (BIG ROTT & CHRONIC) & CARLITO MONTANA

- Kloss and Rivera also noticed how quick he counted, and Kloss that even though The Westsiders had the match won, Hernandez did count noticably quickly. Chronic climbs up onto the second buckle and celebrates the controversial win as the bloody Carlito Montana climbs up onto the apron. Ramirez is raising Rott's hand, and then (as Chronic leaps off of the buckle and onto the apron) Carlito, who's still on the apron. Carlito quickly pulls away from Ramirez' grip. Rott (on the viewer's left) and Chronic raise eachother's hands on the apron and Carlito, now out on the concrete, raises his arms in triump as, back in the ring, Halloween starts yelling at the referee. Suddenly, Halloween DDT's Ramirez onto the mat. He then holds Ramirez' head up for Misterio as Damien looks on. Misterio staples the referee's forehead, and MMW then pull back for a moment before Misterio picks Ramirez' head back up and again staples his forehead. MMW stomp down on Ramirez as The Westsiders and Carlito (heading the other two; Carlito is followed by Rott and then Chronic) head back through the aisleway to the lockerrooms.

Meanwhile, back in the ring, Misterio delivers another staple gun shot to Ramirez' forehead. Misterio then climbs onto the second buckle and salutes the fans as Halloween leans against the ropes and also salutes the crowd. Misterio climbs off of the second buckle as Damien checks on Victoria, who's still lying on the mat. We get a close up of Ramirez' bloody head, and Kloss shouts that the staples are actually visible, and although I see what he's referring to, I don't think that the staples are that big. Then again, I may be wrong, and I'm not going to volunteer to be a test dummy and see first hand their size. Misterio bends down and talks trash to Ramirez as Damien and Halloween look on. Damien stomps him once and Misterio twice slaps him across the face. Damien uses a headbutt drop to Ramirez' groin. Damien and Misterio now bend down and pickup Victoria, and then let her lean on them as they help her out of the ring.

Ramirez, meanwhile, is trying to exit the ring, as he's crawled onto the ring ropes (his head is leaning on the bottom rope). Halloween, just for the hell of it, charges and then leaps onto his head, pushing it into the ropes. I guess this was supposed to mean that he rubbed the bloody forehead into the ropes, too. Anyway, Damien climbs through the bottom and middle ropes to the outside. He then picks up a steel chair and swacks it against the top of the head of Ramirez (the now injured referee was lying down on the apron with his head on the mat). Halloween then walks off through the aisleway, following Misterio (who's carrying Victoria on his shoulders [w/ a fireman carry hold]) and Damien, back to the lockerroom. We pan back to the fallen Ramirez, still in the same position that he was when Halloween chairshotted him just a few moments before. Cut out.

POST-MATCH THOUGHTS: This match had little psychology, and was really a chaotic brawl, but the positives were that it had some acceptable wrestling and a solid finish. Carlito is pretty impressive, and both Westsiders can work pretty well considering their size. The match was actually pretty creative, all in all. I liked Carlito's bumps. He's certainly talented. Rott's spinebuster bomb and the Driveby finish was good, and the stuff after the match with Ramirez being bloodied with the staple gun was OK, too. Damien and Halloween are great aerial wrestlers, while Misterio is an acceptable brawler and hardcore wrestler. Chronic is actually a pretty good worker, and considering his size, so is Rott. I've certainly seen better chaotic brawls than this, but this was acceptable for an indy promotion. It was still, of course, nothing too special, but, nonetheless, (barely) acceptable.
RATING: *

- We see a graphic hyping the next match ("I Quit" Match: Kid Kaos vs. Steve Rizzono), an exploding XPW logo graphic, and then cut back in to where Black Army member Steve Rizzono, wearing an nWo tanktop muscle shirt (black background w/ red text), is walking down the aisleway. He points at various fans and yells at them as he walks down, and once he reaches ringside and begins walking around the ring, he makes some signs with his fingers and with his arms. He even does a loser sign into the camera before climbing (actually more of a leap) up onto the apron, where he continues taunting the crowd, who clearly doesn't like him. He does another loser sign to the camera and then climbs down off of the apron. He takes off his nWo shirt, throwing it into the ring, and ducks down so that nobody on the other side of the ring can see him. It looks like he's hiding from his opponent, and Kloss speculates that he may be playing hide-and-go-seek and wants to rekindle his friendship with Kaos (the storyline is that the two were childhood friends who turned into bitter enemies).

Rivera, though, shoots that possibility down. We pan away from Rizzono for a moment, and then pan back to him for awhile before we cut to the entrance aisle, which is where the young phenom, Kid Kaos (real name: Joey Munoz), emerges through the smoke, makes an "X" above his head (w/ his arms), and then continues his walk down the ramp [we get a shot of Rizzono for a few moments], slapping the hands of his many fans on the way. As he walks around the apron, he makes another "X" with his arms, and then continues his walk around the ring, slapping some fan's hands on the away. However, when he crosses one of the corners of the ring, Rizzono, pops out from his hiding spot and forearms him in the forehead, sending him down onto the concrete.

MATCH THREE ("I Quit" Match): KID KAOS vs. STEVE RIZZONO (referee: Patrick Hernandez)

As Rizzono lifts Kaos back up, the bell rings, signaling that the match has officially begun. Rizzono whips Kaos into the guardrail, forearms him again, and whips him into the (very same) rail for the second time. Rizzono lifts Kaos back up and sledgehammer punches his back before rolling him into the ring and following in himself. Kaos is now on his hands and knees, and Rizzono gutkick stomps him. Rizzono attempts to whip Kaos into the ropes, but Kaos holds on and counters with a (side) russian legsweep. Kaos now climbs onto Rizzono's back and applies a Camel Clutch hold (remember that this is an "I Quit" Match). The referee is down and waiting for Rizzono to utter the words, but when he doesn't after about 12 seconds, Kaos releases the hold and delivers a stomp to the back of the neck/head of Rizzono. As Kaos starts lifting Rizzono, in the corner, back up, the Black Army member low blows him, sending him stumbling away for the timebeing and giving Rizzono some time to recover.

Rizzono now gets back up and lariat punches (it was really a lariat with the fist) Kaos down onto the mat. He again picks Kaos up and, this time, throws him out of the ring to the concrete through the top and middle ropes. Kaos lands on his feet, but he still needs to recover as Rizzono follows him out (by climbing through those same ropes) and grabs a steel chair. However, when he gets close enough, Kaos surprises him with a gutkick, causing the chair to fall out of Rizzono's hands and onto the concrete, followed by two punches. Kaos then leads his foe halfway around the ring and tries to whip him into the rail, but Rizzono reverses it, sending Kaos part way over the rail (he's leaning over it w/ none of his feet on the ground). Rizzono now throws Kaos head-first into the ringpost, and then puts the chair into the ring. He then goes and fetches another chair, puts it in the ring, and then rolls in himself. Kaos has also rolled in.

Rizzono sets up one of the chairs near the corner, delivers a stomp to Kaos' back, and then sets up another chair. He delivers a sledgehammer punch to the back of Kaos, who's now on his feet, and then front suplexes him up into a crotched sitting position onto the top buckle. Rizzono delivers a forearm smash and two chest slaps, adjusts the chairs, and then climbs up onto the second rope. He locks on a front facelock, sledgehammer punchs Kaos' back twice, and then cinches him up for what looks to be a superplex. He tries twice, but both times Rizzono can't lift up Kaos for the manuever. Kaos hits him in the ribs twice, allowing him to escape out of the facelock. He stands up on the top-rope, does his "X" sign, and then performs a Sunset-Flip Powerbomb, slamming Rizzono through the two chairs! Rivera calls it a "three-sixty spinning powerbomb."

Kaos now applies a non-elevated double-leg Boston Crab, which Kloss calls a "Sharpshooter manuever." Rizzono screams out and knocks one of the (still set up) steel chairs out of the way, hoping that he can make it to the ropes, but it's obvious that he's too far away. Kaos, though, decides to release the hold after about nine or ten seconds. Kaos stomps on Rizzono's back, and then on his face. He lifts him back up, whips him into the ropes, and drop toeholds him down to the mat. Kaos now crosses Rizzono's legs and applies a Stepover Crossface Chickenwing hold. The referee is there to see if Rizzono, who's moaning in pain, will give up. After about 12 seconds, Kaos decides to change it to a Stepover Camel Clutch. Rizzono grabs the bottom rope, though, two seconds after that hold is first applied, and Kaos is forced to break it, which he does after a few more seconds.

Kaos kicks Rizzono in the head, but when he gets too close, Rizzono punches him in the crotch. Kaos, though, seems to be unfazed, as he again kicks Rizzono, this time in the upper chest area, and then lifts him back up and applies a side headlock. Rizzono tries to whip him into the ropes, but Kaos just spins around, locks Rizzono's head on his shoulder in a 3/4 Bulldog Facelock hold (Stunner hold). He charges toward the corner, runs up the buckles (first onto the second and then onto the top), backflips off, and turns the manuever into a Falling Inverted DDT. That move is a trademark of his, by the way, as he uses it very regularly in his matches. Wait - I didn't just hear that. No...I couldn't have. Kloss couldn't have just called that a "suplex-like manuever." Oh my...he - he did. How stupid can you be?! Anyway, Kaos doesn't cover his foe, instead choosing to salute the crowd. Rivera calls the last manuever a suplex (a "suplex follow-up," to be exact)! What the heck?!

Kaos now places one of the chairs (which is now folded up) on Rizzono's face and stomps it. He walks over toward the opposite corner and picks up another folded up chair. After holding it up for the crowd to see, he turns around and Rizzono uses his own chair (the one he had stomped into his face) to bash Kaos' chair into his face, sending him down. With Kaos is lying still on the mat, Rizzono sits him up so that he's on his knees (in a kneeling position) and applies his signature Dragon Sleeper (Inverted Facelock [Inverted DDT setup] hold). Referee Patrick Hernandez is sitting down on the mat right near them, waiting for the words that Kaos could utter at any moment. After about 16 seconds, the viewer and fans in attendance can hear something uttered over the building's P.A. system, and Hernandez calls for the bell. Apparently, Kaos said, "I Quit," and it was broadcasted over the P.A. thanks to a microphone in the ring.

Rizzono releases the hold as Kloss and Rivera say that while they did hear something over the P.A., but there was no mic in the ring. Anyway, Hernandez raises Rizzono's arm, apparently declaring him the winner. Rob Black, one of the biggest scums on Earth, has apparently came out, as he climbs up onto the apron, and then into the ring. Black goes over and he and Rizzono hug (I shudder). Hernandez again lifts Rizzono's arm up, and Rizzono then puts his arm on Black's shoulder as Kloss and Rivera continue to act confused at the outcome. Hernandez again raises Rizzono's arm (for the third time, now, I believe), and we then cut to the ringside area, where Kaos pulls a crew member out from under the ring. He picks him up and hammers him down with a punch. The guy sells it terribly. Kaos yells at the referee and points at the ring crew guy, and as soon as Hernandez climbs out to ringside, he spots a microphone on the floor right in front of Kaos. He picks it up, hands it to Kaos, and then slides back into the ring.

Black is raising Rizzono's arm, but Hernandez gets in front of them and (presumably) tells them that there's not a winner, yet. Rizzono and Black complain for a few seconds, but Kaos re-enters the ring and hammers down Black with a punch. Rizzono punches Kaos in the back of the neck, sending him down to the mat. It looks like the match will continue. We see Black lying face down on the concrete at ringside, and we then cut back to the ring, where Rizzono applies a back waistlock and atomic drops Kaos into a crotched position on the top turnbuckle. Rizzono then climbs up onto the middle buckle, where he absorbs two back elbow smashes from Kaos, who's trying to fight out. Rizzono, though, is determined, and he applies another back waistlock, falls backwards, and drops Kaos to the mat below with a backdrop suplex. Kaos immediately starts grabbing at his neck, selling that it may have been injured.

Black, meanwhile, hands Rizzono a black cane that he had brought to the ring through the bottom and middle ropes. Rizzono, however, pulls a case from the cane, revealing...a sharp sword! Kaos is down lying on the mat, and Rizzono stands over him, lifts it up with both hands on the grip part, and brings it down, hoping to stab Kaos! Kaos, though, grabs Rizzono's arms and uses all of his power to stop the sword from coming any closer to his face. Kaos eventually low blow kicks Rizzono and grabs the sword. He plays to the crowd for a few moments, and then, once Rizzono is sits back up, Kaos stabs him in the head! He stabs him again! Black, on the outside, is shown arguing with Hernandez (in the ring) as Kaos literally starts slicing at Rizzono's forehead with the sword!

Kaos and Rizzono are facing away from the camera and are looking down at the mat, so the sword probably isn't even touching. Rizzono, instead, is probably taking this oppurtunity to blade himself. Rizzono sits up, and when he does, Kaos again stabs his forehead! Rizzono is kneeling, and Kaos now starts digging the sword into Rizzono's forehead! After about 10 seconds of moaning, Rizzono can't stand the pain anymore, and he utters the words, "I quit!" Hernandez is down right near the two, listening for the words, and when he hears them, he signals for the bell. It rings, and we now have a winner.

WINNERS: KID KAOS

- A few seconds after the bell rings, Kaos pulls the sword out of Rizzono's head and throws it out of the ring. He twice stomps on Rizzono, and then has his hand raised by Hernandez. Kaos starts to lift Rizzono back up (the viewer can now see Rizzono's face, and even with the poor lighting, it looks like his face is pretty bloody) when several Black Army members hit the ring. Tracy Smothers, turns Kaos around to face him, but gets punked out. Kaos punches Jake Lawless, and then then hammers down Smothers again. Kraq has also hit the ring, but he gets dropkicked down, and then rolls out. Kaos again hammers down Lawless, and then climbs onto the top-rope. Once Rizzono is up and facing him, Kaos leaps off and delivers his signature Flying Guillotine manuever (Flying Somersault Neckbreaker [Buff Blockbuster off of top-rope]). For a few moments, Kaos again taunts Rizzono, and then rolls out of the ring, leaving Lawless, Smothers, and Rizzono hurt in the ring.

Lawless checks on Rizzono as Smothers yells at Kaos and Rob Black enters the ring. Lawless and Smothers now help Rizzono. Black has a microphone in his hand. Kaos is still at ringside celebrating his victory. Hernandez raises his arm as the young phenom celebrates. Kraq is also in the ring now, and Rizzono has finally climbed to his feet. Black has some words for Kaos: "You got it, balls! (I think that's what he said) Tonight, you're gonna' fight Tracy Smothers, [Smothers: "Right!" (Smothers seems excited about the thought of fighting Kaos)]) (long pause) and if you win, Tracy leaves XPW forever. [Smothers acts shocked at this stipulation, and starts complaining to Black. Black calms him down and assures him that he's got it all under control before continuing] (long pause) And if you [to Kaos] lose, you go back to doing those independent shows at The Boys and Girls Club. You get the hell out of XPW!"

Kaos seems fine with the idea, as he shouts out toward Smothers: "I'll see you (pause) later tonight! You're mine! You and me old man!" Cut out.

POST-MATCH THOUGHTS: Until the finish with the sword, this match was going just fine. Even the false finish was alright with me, but the sword coming into play was a very bad idea. It didn't even have any effect on the storyline. The two were supposedly childhood friends, but then became bitter rivals when Rizzono joined The Black Army. They would have several bouts, including a "First Blood" Match, climaxing with this bout. Either man using the sword had nothing whatsoever to do with the storyline. All Kaos had to do was go up and hit his Flying Guillotine on Rizzono and then pin him (he hit it on im after the match, if you remember). That would have been a fine finish. Anyway, besides the finish, which was a big part in the match, the match was just fine. It wasn't great, but it was a fine bout. There were some very creative moves (the sunset-flip powerbomb and the backflip into the inverted DDT), and even some mat wrestling thrown in (the drop toehold, the stepover submissions, and the russian legsweep). The sunset-flip powerbomb and backflip into the inverted DDT were very innovative. Kaos has a tremendous future in the business, and he would end up becoming XPW's inaugural Television Champion. Without him, XPW would have a very open gap left in it's roster. The kid is a tremendous competitor. Rizzono, on the otherhand, is fine, but definitely nothing special. He can wrestle pretty well, but other than that he's just blah. He's actually got another finisher besides The Dragon Sleeper. He calls the move, "The One Night Stand" (it's also sometimes referred to as, "The Corporate Takeover"), and it's an inverted leg-face driver (modified inverted Famasser [modified Leg Drop Takedown]). This match would have been fine, but the finish took some away from it. Also, after the bout, the selling by Smothers and (especially) Lawless was pretty bad, just slike during the show's beginning segment. They went down before Kaos' punches had reached them, went down to soon, and even sold the punches for far too long (they layed on the mat for far too long). After Kaos hit Rizzono with his Flying Guillotine, he started taunting him (Rizzono), and was only a foot away from Lawless. Lawless was on his feet grabbing at his head (trying to sell Kaos' punch) (which he had been doing for far too long), but he just let Kaos go by, trying to sell that he was still recovering from the punch as the the reason why he wouldn't punch Kaos. All in all, though, I'd say that the match was average.
RATING: **

- We see a graphic hyping the next match ("White Trash" Johnny Webb [w/ Jessica (Darlin)] vs. Homeless Jimmy), an exploding XPW logo graphic, and then cut back in to where the Xtreme Screen is playing "White Trash" Johnny Webb's music video. Webb's valet and obsessed fan of his (in storyline), porn star Jessica Darlin, who's carrying a water bottle, is skipping down the aisleway. Webb, wearing a Hawaiin shirt and a baseball cap backwards, follows her. Each one slaps some fans high-five as they circle the ring, and then enter (Webb first, and then Jessica). Jessica crawls in under the bottom rope, and she makes it a point to stick her behind out as she's doing so. I'm gonna' say it straight out: Jessica is also purposefully bouncing up and down, which causes her boobs to also bounce up and down. There...I said it straight out. Webb grabs a microphone from a guy in the ring and cuts a short promo:

"Simma' (simmer) down now. Simma' (simmer) down now. [crowd: "Suck her tits!"] Homeless Jimmy had a very unfortunate accident, and he can't be here tonight. So, as you see, I have my vacation clothes on, so I guess I'll be on ma' way. I'm very sorry, but - well, that's life, and - uhhh - Jimmy, get well soon. Good night, everybody [waves to crowd]." With that, Jimmy hands the mic to the ring announcer (who I guess he got it from in the first place). Jessica crawls under the bottom rope and onto the apron, again purposefully trying to stick out her butt. Webb starts to step through the top and middle ropes, but happens to look out at the entrance stage, causing him to suddenly freeze. Jessica steps down off of the apron and then also sees what Webb sees.

Webb argues with the referee in the ring), and we then get a shot of Kronus ("John Kronus" in ECW) making his way down the entrance ramp. Kronus is in pretty bad shape, and while he was never in great shape while in ECW, he looks a bit fatter here. Webb is now taking his Hawaiin shirt off, revealing a t-shirt. He picks up the singapore cane that he brought to the ring, and he's apparently ready to wrestle Kronus. Kronus is dressed in his ring attire, by the way. Kronus has entered the ring, and Webb suddenly charges him, looking to nail him with his cane, but Kronus is ready and gutkicks Webb down. The cane falls out of his hands to the mat.

MATCH FOUR: "White Trash" JOHNNY WEBB (w/ Jessica [Darlin]) vs. KRONUS vs. HOMELESS JIMMY (w/ his homeless friends) (referee: ?)

You'll find out in just a few moments why I included Jimmy in the match's participant list. The referee signals for the bell. It rings, and we're officially off. Kronus punches Webb, and then gutkicks him into the corner. Corner whip. Webb back springboards off of the middle turnbuckle and hits a back single-leg kick, sending Kronus down. Kloss and Rivera mention how Webb hit Jimmy with his Explorer SUV, and that's the reason why Jimmy (apparently) won't be competing in this match. Kronus is down, and Webb stomps on his face/the front of his neck (it's hard to tell which). Webb taunts the crowd and then flies off of the middle buckle with a leg drop. Kronus, though, rolls out of the way, dodging the move by a few inches. Homeless Jimmy's music hits over the P.A. as Kronus walks over to his foe, but Webb surprises him with a gut kick, a gutpunch, a punch, and two cane shots to Kronus' head. Kronus, though, manages to stay on his feet.

Webb twirls the cane around like a ninja, and then bashes Kronus over the head with it for a third time. The former-ECW World Tag Team Champion finally drops down to his knees, and then falls down to the mat. Webb circles around Kronus and holds his cane high. Webb apparently can see Jimmy, and he starts acting confused at the guy's unexpected appearance. Kronus is lying on his back, and Webb drives the cane into his neck. We finally now get a shot of Jimmy, who is pushing his signature shopping cart full of weapons (like New Jack does) to the ring. He's being accompanied by a contingent of, as Rivera puts it, his "homeless buddies," who apparently are there to watch him compete. Jimmy pushes his cart to ringside, grabs a silver trash can lid, and then slides into the ring.

Jimmy bashes Webb over the head with it twice, and then whips him into the ropes and dropkicks him down. Kronus is kneeling in the corner, and Jimmy bashes him over the head with the trash can lid, and then does the same to Webb (who's back on his feet), again sending him down to the mat. Jimmy drops an elbow on Webb, and then whips him from one corner to another, charges, and clotheslines him into it. Jimmy follows with a sloppy snapmare, and an already bloody Kronus then comes over and performs a gutkick, followed by a suplex. Webb is up, and once Kronus is back on his feet, he is bashed over the head with the trash can lid. Kronus stumbles into the corner and receives another trash can lid shot. Webb climbs out of the ring to grab something from under it (the ring), and Jimmy climbs through the ropes on the opposite side of the ring.

Kronus, though, gets up and knocks him off of the apron to the concrete below. Kronus slides out of the ring as Webb tosses a steel chair at Jimmy's face once the homeless one gets back up. Jimmy doesn't go down, though, and instead hammers Webb, grabs the chair from him, and bashes it across his forehead, sending him into the apron. Webb doesn't go down, though, and Jimmy now whips him into a Kronus steel chair shot across the forehead, sending him (Webb) down. Webb is now sitting on the concrete against the rail. He has his legs spread, and Jimmy motions for Kronus to move out of the way. The former-ECW'er does, and Jimmy charges Webb with his shopping cart and drives it into his crotch area! Jessica comes over and checks on Webb as Jimmy whips Kronus into the shopping cart. Kronus actually tumbles over the cart and hits the guardrail.

Jimmy starts going over to the fallen Kronus, but Jessica, with her water bottle and singapore cane in hand, turns him around and scratches his eyes. Jimmy sells the pain as Jessica walks away and gives Webb the cane, which he uses to whack across Jimmy's face, and then that of Kronus, who was kneeling up. Webb walks away from his two opponents as Jimmy gets up and starts following him. As he (Jimmy) is walking past Jessica, he starts trying to grab the cane away from her (I guess Webb gave it back to her). We now see Webb walk into Kronus' trash can shot. Webb stays on his feet, though, and immediately hits the bloody Kronus over the head with a paper cup with some drink inside. Webb gutkicks Kronus, who then slams his head into the apron. Webb, though, nails a sidekick to Kronus' lower chest area, and then nails him with his own trash can shot. Webb turns around into Jimmy's gutkick and DDT onto the concrete.

Jimmy now goes over to Kronus, hammers him twice, then backs up, charges, vaults off of his shopping cart (which is laying on the concrete), and flies right into...a garbage can shot by Kronus. The trash can actually bounces off of Jimmy's head and flies into one of the first few rows of the crowd. That was a nice bump by Jimmy. Both Kronus and Jimmy slowly crawl back up to their feet, and Kronus bashes a computer keyboard over Jimmy's head. Jimmy, though, punches him back, and then drags him a ways as Webb slides a ladder into the ring. Jimmy rams Kronus' face into the guardrail. Webb now comes over to Jimmy and bashes the trash can lid over his head twice, the second time sending it bouncing down to the concrete. Webb hammers him in the back of the head [the ringside fans are beginning a "Table!" chant] and then slides him into the ring. Webb then goes over to Kronus, who he delivers two gut punches and a double axehandle to the head.

The two continue brawling until Jimmy, who's by now recovered from his beating at the hands of Webb, flies off of the top-rope and onto both men on the outside with his signature Flying Vertical Swan Dive Body Attack (Plancha) Suicida! Jimmy got so high and stayed up for so long that it literally looked like he was flying through the air. He's used that move many times before, but from what I've seen, I believe that was the best he's ever performed the move. Very nice...Anyway, the ringside fans are now repeatedly chanting, "XP-Dub!" Jimmy is the first one up, and he limps away from both of his foes, leaning on the apron for support, as Jessica is shown yelling for her man, Webb. Jimmy grabs a cookie sheet and then heads back to his foes. Webb, meanwhile, hits Kronus in the gut with a steel chair, and the bashes it down across his head. Kronus, by the way, is holding the trash can lid.

Jimmy now arrives and bashes his cookie sheet over Kronus' head, sending him down, but then is hit with Webb's chairshot. Jimmy doesn't go down, though, and Webb leads him a ways around the ring before ramming his head into a guardrail. Jimmy stays on his l.feet as Webb moves a nearby table over a few feet and punches Jimmy on it. Webb now climbs up onto the apron, runs, and leaps off, flies over Kronus (who's still on the concrete), and puts Jimmy through the table with a Cactus Jack-like elbow drop. A bloody Kronus is now up, and he lifts up Webb, who's still recovering from the move (which took a lot out of him), and rolls him into the ring. Kronus follows in himself, kicks the ladder out of the way, whips Webb into the corner, and hit's his signature Handspring Leaping Corner Back Elbow Smash. Jimmy climbs into the ring and lays the ladder up against a turnbuckle as Kronus, in the opposite corner, gutkicks and punches Webb, who's sitting down in the corner after being hit with the back elbow.

Jimmy goes over and gutkicks and punches Kronus, but has his attempted whip reversed. Jimmy bounces off of the ropes and Kronus lariats him down. Kronus takes a quick breather as Webb climbs out of the corner, and leg drop kicks Jimmy down as the homeless one is just beginning to climb back up to his feet. Webb starts lifting Jimmy back up, but Kronus double axehandles his back. Kronus gutkicks Jimmy as he starts to get back up, and Webb then gutkicks Kronus. Kronus seems unfazed, though, and sloppily running hiptoss throws Jimmy into the ladder set up in the corner. The ladder actually buckles (bends), which makes for an even cooler bump on Jimmy's part. Kronus rests in the corner, but Webb comes over and kicks him in the face. Webb then moves the ladder and lays it up on the middle ring rope. He lifts up Jimmy and tries to suplex him onto it, but can't get him up.

Kronus, in the corner, watches as Jimmy hits Webb in the gut twice, spins himself and Webb around, and suplexes his foe onto the ladder. A nice bump by Webb. Kronus now gets up and front slams Jimmy. Kronus then hits a nice Middle Buckle Slingshot (Back Springboard) 180º Spinning Senton Bomb (called a "backwards flip" by Kloss) and then covers Jimmy, but has it broken up at 2 by Webb, who double axehandles Kronus' back. Webb now kicks the ladder out of the ring and then goes over to Kronus, who's starting to climb up to his feet, and punches him back down. Webb uses the ring ropes for leverage he steps on the nect of Kronus, choking him. He eventually releases, stomps Kronus out of the ring, and turns around into Jimmy's gutkick. Jimmy whips Webb, and some miscommunication follows, as Webb never even touches the ropes. Instead, he just turns around and charges Jimmy, who he sloppily lariats down.

Webb climbs out of the ring and starts searching for something from under the ring as Jimmy also rolls out on the opposite side to recover. Jimmy picks up a steel chair and goes to bash it over the head of Kronus, but it's blocked. The chair falls onto the concrete as Kronus turns around and is sent down onto the concrete by Webb's own chairshot. I guess that means that Webb was searching for a steel chair under the ring. Kronus is still standing, though, so Jimmy picks up his chair again and chairshots Kronus, which finally sends him down onto the concrete. Webb uses his chair to drive down into the neck of Kronus. Webb lifts Kronus back up, and Jimmy gives him a punch before the two double atomic drop him onto the guardrail, sending him down onto it crotch-first. We quickly cut back into the ring, which is where two of Jimmy's homeless friends are setting up a table near the corner.

They then climb out as Jimmy hits Webb over the head with the trash can lid that was used earlier. Jimmy now rolls Webb back into the ring and climbs back in himself, purposefully stepping on Webb's chest in the process. He stomps on Webb before lifting him back up and laying him onto the table. Jimmy starts climbing up onto the turnbuckles, but Webb suddenly gets back up and hammers him in the back. He climbs up himself and again hammers Jimmy in the back. Webb sits down on the top turnbuckle, just like Jimmy, and...HOLY SH*T!!!!! Webb performs a sick-looking Spider (meaning w/ his legs tied around the turnbuckles) Release German Suplex. However, Webb undershoots Jimmy, causing him to completely miss the table. He causes Jimmy to flip over and land on his head and neck! A ringside male fan in audience actually stands up suddenly and covers the eyes of a young child (probably his son to his (NOTE: his; not our) right so that the child doesn't witness anymore of what the fan obviously believes was a serious injury.

Many other fans in the crowd have the same reaction. The table doesn't break, by the way, as Jimmy barely even touched it. Webb now climbs down off of the buckle and to the ring mat, which is where he adjusts the table a bit and then starts to lift Jimmy up. The older male fan sticks his arms out and looks like he's pleading with Webb not to touch Jimmy, but he clearly sighs thankfully when he sees that Jimmy willingly gets back up. The fan realizes that Jimmy is alright. Webb spinebusters Jimmy onto the table so that his head lies in the middle of it. The table starts to crack a bit, but doesn't break. Webb now climbs onto the second turnbuckle of the next ringpost (when going counter clockwise). He leaps off and puts Jimmy through the table with a Flying Splash. Cover. The referee counts: 1-2-3. The bell rings, and the match is now over.

WINNER: "White Trash" JOHNNY WEBB

- Jessica is shown celebrating by jumping up and down. Webb slowly rolls out of the ring, and then grabs a cigar and starts smoking it as he and Jessica walk to the backstage area. A fan is shown making a really funny face at the camera. LOL. Referee Pee Wee Moore, who I don't believe actually refereed the match, is in the ring checking on Jimmy as we cut out.

POST-MATCH THOUGHTS: This match was a real clusterf*ck, with everybody just brawling around the ring. However, there were some very impressive spots, most of which were from Jimmy. Without Jimmy, the match would've been pitiful. He, though, saved it with his high risk, aerial style. The swan dive body attack was a terifficly done spot, and Jimmy deserves some congrats on his great execution of it. Kronus has gained a bit of weight since his ECW days, but he can still fly. I especially liked the slingshot senton bomb. That was very impressive. This match had little psychology, but the great spots saved it. Jimmy's german suplex bump near the end was especially sick-looking, and the fans at ringside who looked horrified proved how real it looked.
RATING: *3/4

- We see a graphic hyping the next match (K.O.T.D.M. Title Match: The Messiah vs. Supreme [C]), an exploding XPW logo graphic, and then cut back in to where ring announcer Guido is making an announcement pertaining to the next bout: "The following bout is scheduled for one fall wit' no time limit, and is for the XPW King of the Deathmatch Title." Senior referee Patrick Hernandez has brought the gigantic XPW K.O.T.D.M. trophy into the ring, and he is holding it up high so that the fans can see it. Each of the ring ropes are draped - and may I add are draped very lightly - in barbed-wire. Two of the turnbuckles have black beds of nails mounted to them. Rivera compares it to a "Vietnam concentration camp." The challenger, The Messiah (real name: William C. Welch), now makes his way down the aisle, followed by porn star Lizzy Borden. The two reach the ring and Lizzy steps back, allowing Messiah to climb into the ring. Messiah spreads the middle and bottom ring ropes for Lizzy to climb into the ring through. Lizzy is wearing a black bra and tight black pants. Messiah talks to Hernandez and then taunts the crowd (he's a heel).

Lizzy fingers the K.O.T.D.M. trophy as Messiah says some stuff into the camera, most of it trash-talking toward Supreme. Messiah climbs onto the second buckle and taunts the crowd, and then climbs off and moves over to Lizzy. We now get a view of the ringside area, which is where two sides of the ring are surrounded by huge beds of fluorescent light tubes. Each bed is also wrapped in a considerable amount of barbed-wire. We now go back into the ring and see Messiah and Lizzy for a moment, but then cut down to the aisleway, which is where the champion, "The Human Horror Film," Supreme, is accompanied by porn star Kristi Myst, who is The Messiah's current real-life girlfriend. Kristi, at least in my mind, is hotter than Lizzy, and needs a really hard f*cking. Oh, wait! My bad! She's already had plenty of those in her porn films. In one, she was literally "baptized in piss." However, enough of the porn talk - Kristi leads Supreme down the aisleway, and when she hears some compliments from some fans, she gives a lucky one a thumbs up sign.

The two are at ringside now, and Lizzy grabs Supreme's hand and he leads her around the ringside area. He lets some fans touch his hand, and Kristi talks to most of the ringside fans for a few seconds each, shaking some of their hands. The two stop at one of the sides of the ring that has the bed of light tubes and barbed-wire (from now on, I'm going to call this contraption "the bed of gore."), and Supreme just smiles before turning around and heading back the other way. Kristi continues to talk to some fans and shake their hands as Supreme slaps several of them high fives. The bald Supreme (he's also got an eyebrow ring), who is rather fat and is wearing one of his t-shirts, now yells out towards the fans. The two take a few more looks at the beds of barbed-wire, light tubes, etc. that surround the ring before they climb up onto the apron. We get another quick view of the trophy before we see Kristi duck into the ring herself, and Supreme follow. Supreme climbs up onto the middle buckle and salutes the crowd as Kristi claps for him.

Supreme climbs down and Guido makes the introductions: "Introducing first - accompanied to the ring by the boss' wife, Lizzy Borden, he is from The Kingdom of God - The Messiah!" Messiah taunts the crowd as Lizzy claps for him. Guido continues: "And his opponent - accompanied to the ring by Kristi Myst - from Hollywwod, California, he is 'The Humman Horror Film' and he is the King of the Deathmatch - Supreme!" Supreme, a monster face, salutes the fans as Kristi claps for him. Oh my God! Supreme looks to ask Kristi, and the two then lock lips for a good three or four seconds! Kristi even smiles afterwards! Yuck! XPW's version of Frankenstein gets a kiss from Kristi Myst?! That sucks! Anyway, Kloss now says a funny line: "Part of me wants to throw up. Part of me wants tu' - well - uh - get a little excited." Supreme now holds open the middle and bottom ring ropes, allowing Kristi to duck under them and walk down the ring steps to the concrete. Like Jessica Darlin did earlier in the night, Kristi makes it a point to, as she crawls through the ropes, stick her ass out at the fans for their immense pleasure.

Back in the ring, we get a view of Messiah near the corner kneeling down on one knee and playing up his character by crossing himself. It looks like he says a quick prayer before rising back up and facing off with Supreme. We get quick shots of the bed of tacks and then Lizzy on the outside. We get a quick shot of the two participants in the ring before panning down onto the bed of light bulbs. Back in the ring, Supreme plays to the crowd, and referee Hernandez then signals for the bell.

MATCH FIVE: XPW King of the Deathmatch Title Match: The MESSIAH (w/ Lizzy Borden) vs. SUPREME (C) (w/ Kristi Myst) (referee: Patrick Hernandez)

The two face off and eventually lock up. They hold their grappling position for a good few seconds, and Supreme gradually pushes Messiah towards one of the corners with a bed of nails mounted to it. So, Messiah, jumps up and swings under Supreme's legs, pushing his foe forward at the same time. Supreme stumbles forward a few feet and almost hits the bed, but grabs the buckle and steadies himself. Messiah now charges him, but Supreme ducks the lariat, and Messiah almost goes into the bed, but he also grabs the buckle and steadies himself. Supreme now punches Messiah twice, and then whips him toward the opposite corner, which also has a bed of nails mounted to it. Messiah sees this and, once he reaches about halfway across the ring, baseball slides down to slow his run. He ends up a few feet from the corner, stands up, and charges Supreme, who's also charging him. Supreme ducks his foe's attempted lariat, but Messiah immediately rebounds with a dropkick, sending Supreme down.

Messiah now punches Supreme three times, and then and then tries to whip him into the ropes, but has it reversed. Messiah bounces off the ring ropes and Supreme grounds him with a hard lariat. Supreme follows with another lariat, again sending Messiah down. He performs one last one, and Messiah again goes down. The holy one gets back up, but when he sees Supreme waiting for him, stumbles back down and rolls out of the ring. He avoids the bed of gore (which is like a huge, hollow rectangular prism with only the edges; the top is wrapped in barbed-wire, and there is also tons of fluorescent light tubes in it). Messiah takes a breather next to it, and then starts signaling for Supreme to come out so they can fight right out there at ringside. Supreme soon obliges, as he climbs out of the ring and starts following Messiah. Messiah hightails it around the ring, and then slides in. Supreme stops and looks into the ring at Messiah, who's signaling for him to come on in, as Kristi Myst watches on.

Right about now, a funny line by Rivera is said about Kristi Myst:

LARRY RIVERA (in response to Kris Kloss mentioning the bed of thumbtacks): "[inaudible; I think it was supposed to be "I am," but I'm not completely sure] are looking at the bed of something else, chico."

Anyway, that line is said as Supreme slides into the ring. Messiah immediately charges him and delivers five stomps before the champion even climbs back up to his feet. Messiah drags Supreme's limp body over a few feet and puts it up against the barbed-wire that's wrapped around the ring ropes. He tries to rake it across Supreme's face, but the defending champ is able to knock him away for the timebeing with for elbow smashes to the gut. Supreme now whips Messiah towards the ring ropes, and the holy one catapults himself over the ropes and lands on the apron. Supreme is charging and he shoulderblock headbutts Messiah's stomach through the top and middle ring ropes. Supreme follows with two punches to Messiah's head. In between each one, Messiah lets go of the ropes with one hand and teases that he's going to fall into a bed of gores, which is on the concrete right behind him.

He holds on, though, and after Supreme's second punch, rebounds with his own shoulderblock headbutt through the top and middle ring ropes to Supreme's gut. Messiah catapult somersaults himself over the ropes and somersault rolls over the back of Supreme, just like Scotty 2 Hotty sometimes does. Messiah did it with great execution, too. He now runs off of the ropes, ducks Supreme's lariat, again bounces off of the ropes, but is grounded with Supreme's back elbow smash. Messiah again rolls out of the ring, avoiding the bed of gore. Lizzy gives Messiah some physical support. A "We Want Blood!" chant begins at ringside. Lizzy yells out Hernandez as Messiah gets back up and again signals for Supreme to climb out so that they can find right there at ringside. Messiah circles around the ring, passing Lizzy, and we then see that Supreme has also exited the ring and is following Messiah, also passing Lizzy along the way.

Supreme helps begin a "Bullshit!" chant at ringside as he reaches Kristi. Messiah is back in the ring now, and back on the outside, Supreme kicks the bed of thumbtacks over a few inches to his right as a ringside fan can be heard shouting, "It's a f*ckin' (not bleeped out) deathmatch," urging Supreme to re-enter the ring. Kristi walks a few feet away from Supreme as her man starts to roll into the ring. As expected, Messiah again charges, looking to stomp on him before his foe has even climbed back up onto his feet. However, Supreme is ready, and as soon as Messiah charges, he rolls back out and grabs Messiah's right foot and trips him down to the mat. Supreme turns his foe over (onto his stomach), locks both of the legs around his waist, points toward the bed of thumbtacks, and then swings his foe into an inverted powerbomb, slamming him down into the bed of tacks! Thankfully, Messiah's head didn't go into the tacks, as his arms, hands, and fingers were the ones that took all of the damage.

Messiah lifts his right arm up and, while yelping out in pain, looks at it to see how much damage had been done to it. He rolls off of the bed and onto his back on the concrete. As he moves his arms around, we get a good view of his right one, and all of the lower part of it (his hands, fingers, and under forearm) has been intruded with thumbtacks. Supreme convinces Hernandez to help him lift the bed of tacks over Messiah and slide it into the ring. Supreme forearms the back of Messiah, who is on his knees on the concrete. Supreme drags Messiah around one corner of the ring to where the bed of fluorescent light bulbs is. He cinches up Messiah for a suplex, but he can't get him completely over that easily. He has him partly up, and after a struggle, he's able to slam him onto the tacks back-first with almost a press slam throw-like move. I'm surprised Supreme had trouble getting him completely over. He's far larger than Messiah.

Anyway, Messiah, lying on his back on the now broken lightbulbs, sells the pain as he starts picking out a few tacks one-by-one from his hand. His forearm is already fairly bloody. Some ringside fans begin a "Holy Sh*t!" chant. Supreme, behind Messiah, picks up a few lightbulbs and smashes them over Messiah's back before lifting him up and rolling him back into the ring. Supreme follows in, crawling in himself, and then tries to whip Messiah into the ropes, but it's reversed. Supreme goes into the ropes and Messiah swings around him and applies a sleeper hold. Supreme stumbles around a bit before falling down onto one knee. Hernandez raises his arm once, and it falls back down. He raises it again, and the same thing happens. The third time, though, Supreme keeps it up, and then climbs back onto both of his feet and steps into the bed of thumbtacks.

Messiah quickly drops down onto his knees and slams Supreme down back-first with an Inverted DDT-like manuever. Messiah's knees looked like they touched some of the tacks, but he was able to avoid most of the others. Supreme now starts rolling out of the bed, and we see that his back is now littered in tacks. A "Holy Sh*t!" chant begins as we also see that the back of Supreme's head is also littered in tacks! Yuck! Messiah gets up and turns away from Supreme to celebrate, giving the big man a chance to get back up, pick up a steel chair, and, once the holy one turns back around, rams it into his foe's gut. Messiah is now blasted across the back with the chair, and he's now down on the mat. Supreme now sets up the chair near a corner, uses both hands do grab a handful of tacks from the bed, and drops them across the seat part of the chair. He goes back and grabs one more handful, dropping them, too, onto the chair, and then motions to the fans that he's going to somehow drop Messiah onto the chair.

Supreme now lifts Messiah up for a suplex, but only gets him about 2/5 of the way up before Messiah drops back down, takes Supreme's arm off of his shoulder, and DDT's him face-first onto the chair! Ouch! Lizzy, on the ringside concrete, comes over to Messiah, and Messiah puts his right hand out to her, laying it on the bottom rope. She starts pulling out a couple of tacks from his hand one-by-one. Hernandez checks on Supreme as Messiah gets back up, delivers a stomp to Messiah's head, and then picks up the chair, folds it up, and, as Supreme is starting to climb back to his feet, delivers a very stiff shot to his foe's back with it. Messiah now drops the chair down to the mat and taunts the crowd for a few moments before delivering four punches to Supreme, who's now on one knee. Messiah lifts him back up and delivers two more punches before cinching Supreme up and dropping him on the bed of thumbtacks with a picture-perfect snap suplex. Very nice execution, especially considering the relative size of the two.

Supreme starts climbing to his feet, and we get a good view of the top of his bald head, which is considerably bloody by now. Messiah gets up and climbs out of the ring, which is where he lifts up the gigantic bed of barbed-wire (it has tons of barbed-wire) as Supreme leans through the bottom and middle ring ropes for Kristi Myst to quickly check on his wounds. Hernandez moves the bed of tacks, which is in the ring, as Messiah slides the board of barbed-wire into the ring under the bottom ring rope. Messiah then rolls in himself, goes over to Supreme, who's partially sitting up on the mat, and punches Supreme five times, moving Supreme over a few inches a bit in between the third and fourth. Messiah now convinces Hernandez to assist him in lifting up the board of barbed-wire (which, I will mention again, has a lot of wire mounted onto it) and dumping it onto Supreme, who's laying on his back, face up.

With the board of wire on top of Supreme (and I mean that the side with the wire is on top of him), Messiah now hits a picture-perfect Middle Ring Rope Slingshot (Back Springboard) Moonsault Splash (a Quebrada [a Lionsault]), one of his many signature moves, landing on the huge bed and driving it down even harder than it already was onto Supreme! Yuck! The bed of thumbtacks was actually right behind Supreme and the bed on top of him, and Messiah's knees and lower legs actually landed in the tacks. He sells the pain of that, limping a few steps before collapsing back down onto the mat. Once Messiah is able to stand again, he lifts the barbed-wire bed off of Supreme's body, tearing the wire off of Supreme's ring attire, and drops it down next to him. He hooks Supreme's leg and covers him, and Hernandez reaches 2 before Supreme kicks out. Each time his hand hit the mat, he had to hesitate due to the numerous tacks, which littered the ring mat, that dug into his hand.

Messiah now kicks and pushes at the big barbed-wire board until it slides under the bottom ring rope and drops to the ringside concrete below. Messiah lifts Supreme up and tries to whip him into the opposite corner, but Supreme reverses and sends Messiah into the corner, causing his back to be driven into the bed of nails mounted to the buckle. Supreme now charges him and tries to vertically splash him, but Messiah ducks out of the way and Supreme goes into the bed of nails. His screams are very audible and very scary. Messiah now gets up and punches Supreme before locking him in a side headlock and raking one of the strands of barbed-wire that is wrapped around the top ring rope. Messiah now DDT's Supreme and then climbs out of the ring, purposefully avoiding the bed of gore. He moves a ringside table so that it's near one of the ringposts, and then goes over to where the huge board of barbed-wire, drags it back around the corner of the ring, and places it on top of the table. Messiah adjusts the table and wire board a bit before sliding back into the ring.

Supreme, though, is ready for him, as he sledgehammer forearms Messiah twice across the back of the neck before scooping him up, pausing for a few moments, and then hurling him high over his head into the bed of thumbtacks (also in the ring) behind him. Kloss called it a "fallaway slam," but it was really more of a standing fallaway throw, as Supreme tossed him over his back, but stayed standing instead of falling down onto his back at the same time as throwing his foe (like Scott Hall does [or did] with his fallaway slam). Anyway, Messiah lands in the bed of thumbtacks back first. Supreme's head is pretty bloody by now. Supreme rallies up the crowd as Messiah rolls out of the dangerous bed and is lifted back up by his foe. Supreme whips Messiah into the barbed-wire wrapped ropes and then lariats him back down. With Messiah face down on the mat, Supreme places his head in the bed full of tacks and starts pushing down, driving Messiah's face into them.

Supreme stands back up and drops a leg, again driving Messiah's face into the tacks. Messiah crawls away from the tacks and spits out some stuff, and we get a good view of the blood covering his face. With Messiah on his hands and knees, Supreme punches him. Supreme lifts Messiah back up to his feet, scoops him up and draps him over his shoulder (as if he was going to perform a running over-the-shoulder powerslam), and then points at the bed of nails mounted to one of the turnbuckles in the corner. XPW's "Human Horror Film" runs toward that bed, driving Messiah's back into it, and then turns around, walks over toward the bed of thumbtacks, and drops Messiah onto them with a nice British Bulldog/Davey Boy Smith-like over-the-shoulder powerslam! Supreme covers Messiah, who's still in the bed, but his foe kicks out at 2. Supreme crawls out onto the apron, and then begins climbing onto the top turnbuckle, only to have Messiah get back up and deliver three punches before climbing up onto the top himself.

Messiah drives his fist down onto Supreme's back twice. Supreme is on one side of the ring corner, while Messiah is on the other. Messiah cinches his foe up for what looks to be a Superplex to the outside! Supreme, though, surprises Messiah by Superplexing him over onto his side, causing both men to crash down onto the huge barbed-wire board, breaking the table that it's layed on in the process! What a spot!!!!!!! As Joey Styles would say, "Oh My God!!!!!" Kloss handles that line, though, as he says, "Rivera, I got one word for ya': [screams]." We have a good view of each man's face, and both are very bloody (each man has about the same amount of blood on their face as the other man). A "Holy Sh*t!" chant begins at ringside as Supreme starts to sit up, and then stand. We get a shot of Messiah, who's still down, and two drinks are pelted at his face by ringside fans, presumably to wash some of the blood off of his face. Rob Black, who apparently has just came out to ringside, goes over to Messiah and stands his man's body up himself.

We now get another shot from another ringside area, and we see that Black Army member Kraq is holding Kristi Myst from behind, allowing Lizzy Borden to slap her across the face and slightly rip off her upper body attire. Lizzy now pushes Kristi away from her. Both Messiah and Supreme are now in the ring. Supreme is up on his feet, and Lizzy climbs up onto the apron and starts yelling at him, and then at referee Hernandez. She ducks under the middle rope and into the ring, which is where she continues yelling at Hernandez for a few moments before going over to Supreme and slapping him across the face. He smiles back at her, and it looks like the blow had little or no effect. He now grabs her by the hair, pushes her into the corner, and...Yuck!!!!! He rubs his bloody face in her chest area for about one second. Kloss says a funny line right here: "He just buried his head, right in her - you know..."

Anyway, Supreme pulls out from Lizzy, and then is punched by Kraq, who's standing on the apron. The blow sends Supreme turning around, and he's immediately blasted down to the mat with Messiah's steel chairshot. Messiah chairshots Supreme, who's now laying up against the wire-wrapped ring ropes, once more, and Kraq, who's apparently climbed down off of the apron, leans through the ropes and punches Supreme once. We get a pretty good shot of the back of Supreme's head, and there are a fair amount of thumbtacks that have been driven into it. Messiah sets the steel chair up near Supreme, and then goes into the corner, picks up another steel chair, and sets it up a few feet away from the other one. He convinces Hernandez to help him lift the bed of thumbtacks up and place it in between the two chairs, laying each side on one of the two seats. They adjust the chairs and the bed for several moments, and we then pan over to Supreme.

Rob Black, at ringside, is cutting Supreme open by leaning through the ropes and raking the barbed-wire that's wrapped around the ropes across his face. It's very easy to hear Supreme's yelps of pain. Kristi Myst, with a steel chair in hand, now climbs up the steel steps, and then ducks into the ring under the middle rope. Messiah sees her and starts begging her to hit him with it. She does, bashing it over his head, but it has little effect. She tries to whack him again, but Messiah blocks it, knocks the chair away, and forces her to kneel down in the corner. He gets too close to her, though, and she - well - ummm - how should I say this(?) - she - ummm - she applies the dreaded crotchbite, digging her teeth into his groin area! Messiah sells the pain in a hilarious manner, and then turns around into...Supreme, who's standing up again.

Kristi watches as Supreme lifts Messiah up and absolutely sends him crashing down onto the bed of thumbtacks that is layed on the two chairs, courtesy of a vicious Falling (Supreme falls forward when performing the move) Powerbomb! Tacks go flying everywhere as Supreme hooks the leg of Messiah, who's still in the tack bed, and covers him. Hernandez makes the count as Kristi ducks out of the ring under the middle rope: 1-2-3! Supreme retains his title! Hernandez signals for the bell, and it rings.

WINNER and still XPW King of the Deathmatch Champion: SUPREME

- After the bout, Hernandez stands back up and shakes his hand, obviously trying to get any loose tacks out of them, as Supreme turns around and hugs Kristi Myst, who has re-entered the ring. We get some shots of Messiah, still in the thumbtacks and still a bloody mess. His face is especially bloody, and his arms are also littered in a considerable amount of blood. Black Army members Lizzy Borden and Jake Lawless climb into the ring and check on Messiah, who's on his hands and knees. We now get another shot of Supreme, who's still in the ring, and see that The Black Army is beating him down. Tracy Smothers and Jake Lawless beat him down with punches and stomps, while Kraq drives a chair down into his gut. We get a shot of a bloody Messiah, who's now on his feet, hugging Lizzy Borden, while Kraq continues driving the chair down into Supreme.

At ringside, meanwhile, Black and Kronus move the bed of gore (which is, once again, like a huge, hollow, rectangular prism with only the edges; the top is wrapped in barbed-wire, and there is also tons of fluorescent light tubes in it) around the ring and eventually position it near the apron. Messiah, Lawless, and Smothers continually stomp down Supreme. Black, in the ring, watches as Smothers, Lawless, Steve Rizzono (who's just now entered the ring), and Kronus, stand Supreme back up, help eachother lift him high up off of the mat, and toss him over the ropes into the bed of gore on the outside!!!!! A bloody Messiah actually adds to the damage, as he was standing on the ring apron, and as Supreme was coming over the ropes, he leaped off of the apron and performed a Diamond Cutter, helping spike Supreme down into the huge bed even harder. Messiah made sure not to touch the bed himself, though, purposefully pulling out of the Diamond Cutter hold at the last possible second before he, too, would've contacted the bed.

With Supreme now in a pile of barbed-wire, light tubes (most actually still in one piece; only a few were broken), and broken glass, a Black Army member who's out of camera range (the camera was directed toward Supreme) throws a steel chair down into the pile, just to put an exclamation point on Supreme's injury. Black raises his arms in victory as his cronies also celebrate. The ringside fans are pelting tons of drinks and anything else they can get their hands on into the ring toward the army for a good several moments, making it look as if it's raining garbage. An XPW ring crew or security member is now tending to Supreme, and Kloss, commentating, begs for someone backstage to send some more people out to bring out some EMT's and medics. Cut out.

- We see an an exploding XPW logo graphic before cutting back in a few minutes later to where Supreme is being tended to. He has a neck brace on, and a ringside "Su-Preme!" chant quickly disappears, and a guy that sounds a lot like Rob Van Dam starts chanting, "XP-Dub! XP-Dub! XP-Dub! XP-Dub!" Several more people join in after the fourth shout and begin shouting "X-P-Dub' U!", but the chant quickly dies down, anyway. Several trained medics are tending to a bloody Supreme, and the camera then pans up a bit (it's obvious that the camera man is standing on the ring apron or sitting on a turnbuckle), and we both see and hear the fans chanting, "X-P-Dub' U!" Some ringside security are trying to rile (sp?) them up even more so that they get even louder. We pan back down to Supreme and the medics, and the chant eventually disappears. The fans continue shouting various things, and I can now see XPW Executive V.P. Kevin Kleinrock sitting down on the concrete near Supreme. He has obviously come out.

A ringside fan shouts, "...[inaudible] see ECW try this sh*t [not bleeped out]!" The XPW ring crew, security, EMT's, etc. are trying to roll Supreme over onto an orange stretcher, and they eventually succeed in doing so. One of the guys tending to Supreme says, "Guido, get out of there pleases," referring to the XPW ring announcer (real name: Mark Mancini). A ringside fan then says in a funny tone, "Guido[extended]!" The camera pans over onto Kristi Myst, who's watching on as Supreme is being tended to. They zoom in on her ass for a few seconds before panning back over onto Supreme. Kristi's pants have several drops of blood. The fans begin another "Su-Preme!" chant, and we pan up a bit and get another shot of them. We zoom in on an "ECW FEARS XP F'n W" sign for a few moments ebfore zooming back out onto Supreme and the guys tending to him. They continue adjusting his postion on the stretcher as a "F*ckin' [not bleeped out] Tits!" chant begins (in reference to Kristi Myst).

One of the EMT's can be heard counting, "One, two, three," and some EMT's then lift the stretcher, with Supreme on it, up. Several help carry it from the ringside area as fans yell Supreme's name and give him a standing ovation. After only a few feet, they put the stretcher back down onto the concrete for a short rest, pause for a few moments, start wheeling him around for a moment, and then lift the stretcher up to about their waist height. They continue wheeling him around the ring as the fans clap for "The Human Horror Film" and yell out his name. I can hear someone yell, "Wipe the blood off!" The EMT's wheel him up the entrance aisleway, past all of the fans and up to the empty seats, pass through a short, dark corridor, and quickly reach the backstage area. They wheel him around a corner to reveal a rather large gymnasium-sized room with several pillars holding the roof up. Some people backstage clap for Supreme as the EMT's continue wheeling him.

They now meet up with another person who tells them, "Let's set up the ambulance and get him out of here." I can see a photographer taking photos. The EMT's now turn the stretcher around and wheel him down a long hallway. I believe that they passed the entrance to the main arena, as I heard a considerable amount of cheers, chants, and claps for Supreme. It quiets down as the stretcher reaches a door. One of the EMT's tell the photographer that I mentioned before to hold the door. He runs ahead even faster than he's already been doing and does just that. The EMT's continue wheeling the stretcher, and they're now outside in considerable darkness. The EMT's have been running the stretcher considerably fast for awhile now, and they continue doing so. They're obviously in a rush to get Supreme to the hospital.

They continue wheeling Supreme down a road, passing some parked cars and such on the way, and eventually a parked ambulance comes into sight. Some EMT's run ahead and open it's back doors. The EMT's lift the stretcher up and slide it into the back of the ambulance. An EMT says, "Let's go. We're goin' to the hospital." Another asks, "Where's the hospital? Which hospital?" Someone tells Kristi Myst, who's been following them, to "go with him." She climbs into the back, which is where the stretcher is, as another EMT says (maybe the same as before; I'm not sure), "...[inaudible] in the county. Let's go." The ambulance now starts it's engine and it's lights start to flicker. It starts moving forward and tries to start its siren, but it doesn't immediately work. They turn out into the street (presumably) as it finally starts blasting for all of the other cars to hear. Cut out.

POST-MATCH THOUGHTS: Great deathmatch. This was definitely one of, if not the best deathmatch XPW ever put on. A considerable surprise was the amount of psychology in the match. It wasn't just a collection of violent spots with no flow. The two began with some acceptable mat wrestling, and then gradually elvolved their bout into a full-fledged bloody assault. Both men worked very hard, and each took several bumps into the various beds. The match had some very creative and innovative spots: Supreme's inverted powerbomb into the tacks, Messiah's Inverted DDT into the tacks, Messiah's picture-perfect snap suplex into the tacks, Messiah's quebrada onto the bed of barbed-wire which was layed on top of Supreme (that was VERY innovative), Supreme's over-the-shoulder powerslam into the tacks, and, of course, the incredibly, diabolicly sick Superplex to the outside onto the bed of barbed-wire. That was one of the most incredible bumps in XPW history. I really have no complaints about this match. Considering that this is XPW, the selling and the execution of the respective manuevers was absolutely fine. Truthfully, Messiah looks like a skinny 20-or-so year old with not an ounce of charisma or athletecism, but I'm telling you that, while he's no Chris Benoit, he's a fine wrestler and an incredible bump taker. For his size, Supreme is a fine worker. That's not to say that he's a good overall worker. He's a terrible overall worker, just like Pogo the Clown (read above), but for his size, he's fine. This was a damn good match. My rating for it is pretty high, but I'm telling you that this match was very good. Also: you must understand that I am NOT an easy rater. I was very impressed with this match, and it is very highly regarded by XPW fans as one of the promotion's best matches ever (both overall and deathmatch-wise).
RATING: ***5/8

- We see a graphic hyping the next match (Loser Leaves XPW: Kid Kaos vs. Tracy Smothers), an exploding XPW logo graphic, and then cut back in to where Tracy Smothers is making his way down the aisleway, accompanied by Rob Black. Smothers climbs up the ring steps and into the ring as referee Pee Wee Moore begins mopping up the ring. He starts sweeping the ring as someone in the crowd throws something into the ring, narrowly missing Smothers. Smothers acts mad as he goes over to it, picks it up, and hurls it back into the ring. At ringside, Black talks to a ring crew or security member. Smothers stretches in the ring as we get a shot of the entranceway. Kid Kaos, victorious earlier in the night, walks out through the curtain and makes his way down the aisleway. He slaps some fan's hands and does his New Jack-like "X" taunt.

Kaos climbs up onto the apron, and then onto the ringpost, which is where he raises his arms triumphantly and does another "X" taunt. Kaos leaps down off of the buckle and into the ring as he and Smothers trash talk eachother. Both now back up as Guido does the pre-match introductions: "[most of his words were inaudible due to the poor microphones]...Tracy Smothers!" Smothers does his wierd, erotic, dance that he regularly does and takes off his shirt as Guido continues: "[again, much was inaudible]...from Colorado Springs, Colorado - Kid Kaos!" Kaos climbs up onto the ringpost and plays to the crowd before jumping back off and squaring off. Kloss, for some reason, sells this as possibly being Smother's last wrestling match ever (if he loses), when, in reality, the loser only has to leave XPW, not pro wrestling completely.

MATCH SIX: "Loser Leaves XPW" Match: TRACY SMOTHERS (w/ Rob Black) vs. KID KAOS (referee: Pee Wee Moore)

The ref signals for the bell, and it rings. Smothers plays up his heel persona as Kaos riles up the fans by encouraging them to clap. Kaos climbs up onto the second buckle and continues playing to the crowd. The two square off before locking up. They circle around the ring with the tieup hold still in place until Kaos forces Smothers into the corner and the referee forces him to break it, which he does. A pissed off Smothers climbs out of the ring and circles it, jawing at ringside fans the whole way around. He talks to Black, but when he (Smothers) isn't aware, Kaos bounces off of the ropes and flies out of the ring, taking Smothers out with a running Catapult Tumbleweed (Somersault) Body Attack. Kaos whips Smothers into the guardrail before rolling him back into the ring. The young phenom climbs up onto the apron, and then onto the top rope, flying off onto Smothers with a Flying Crossbody Block. He falls into a crossbody press pin, but Smothers kicks out at 2.

Kaos lifts him back up and tries to whip him into the ropes, but Smothers reverses and sends Kaos into them. Kaos stops when he's close to Smothers and gutkicks him, but the veteran grabs him by the head and tosses him out of the ring through the top and middle ring ropes. Kaos lands on his feet at ringside as Smothers bounces off of the ropes and baseball slide dropkicks him down onto the concrete. Smothers jaws with the fans before lifting Kaos back up and whipping him into a guardrail. I can see the guy who made the funny face after the three-way match at ringside. Kloss continues selling this as possibly Smother's last match ever, for some wierd reason. Smothers now grabs Kaos and leads him back near the apron. He rolls him into the ring and then slides in himself.

With Kaos starting to get back up, Smothers rakes his back with his fingernails, and Kaos sells the pain. Smothers with a punch to Kaos' gut, a punch to his back, and then a backfist punch (which is technically called, a "Uraken") that sends Kaos down. Smothers does his erotic punch before kicking the head of Kaos, who was starting to climb back up to his feet. Smothers now whips Kaos into the ropes, and the young phenom bounces off of them. Smothers bends down, as if about to attempt a back body drop, but Kaos stops suddenly and attempts a russian legsweep. Smothers decides that he wants to try to counter the move, and he stays on his feet. Some miscommunication, though, leads to Kaos falling back and to the mat, as if performing the move. Once Kaos is back up, Smothers performs an inverted russian legsweep (Edge's old Downward Spiral move).

Smothers signals for Kaos to get back up, and once he does, he goes for a punch. Kaos, though, blocks it and delivers three of his own. Smothers fights back with two backfist punches, but Kaos blocks a third and punches him twice before whipping him into the ropes, only to have it reversed. Kaos bounces off of the ropes and Smothers picks him up for a sideslam, only to have it countered with a headscissors takeover. Smothers rolls into the corner, and then gets back up, only to be taken over with a nice huracanrana. Kaos covers, but only gets 2. He now climbs through the ropes onto the apron, and then onto the top rope. Smothers gets back up and stumbles around until Kaos flies off, sending him back down with a missle dropkick. Kaos again covers, getting the same result (that being a 2 count). Both climb up to their feet, and Smothers rakes Kaos' eyes and backfist punches him twice before performing a Mafia Kick (armringer into Side Crescent Kick).

Kaos goes, down, but get's right back up, only to be sent back down again by Smother's nice jumping heelkick-like kick. Kaos gets back up and gets sent down again with the same kick as before, only to his front (instead of his back). Smothers covers, hooking the leg, but gets 2. Smothers acts annoyed that he couldn't get the 3 count, and he lifts Kaos back up and snapmares him down onto the mat. Smothers performs a sloppy jumping fist smash/drop-like move. Smothers now leaps up onto the second buckle, does his erotic dance, and then leaps off and tries to nail a diving fist smash/drop (like he did before). Kaos, though, rolls out of the way, causing Smothers to make contact with the mat only. Kaos stands back up, steps through the ropes onto the apron, and climbs onto the top rope. Smothers has already been up for a few seconds, so Kaos flies off and downs him with his signature Flying Guillotine (Flying Somersault Neckbreaker).

Kaos covers, locking the leg, but Smothers kicks out at 2. Kaos acts shocked that somebody kicked out of that move, and Kloss says and then Rivera confirms that that was the first time ever that someone kicked out of that move. Kaos lifts Smothers back up and applies a 3/4 frontface bulldog (Stunner) hold. Smothers hammers him in the back, allowing him to escape the hold. He then tries to bodyslam Kaos, but the young phenom drops out of over Smothers back and applies the Stunner hold again. He then charges the corner, runs up the buckles, and backflips. He wants to pull out his signature Backflip Falling Inverted DDT manuever, but Smothers has trouble getting him back over. He eventually does after much struggle, and Kaos brings him down with a Falling Inverted DDT. He covers and gets the 1-2-3 for the partially botched finish.

WINNER: KID KAOS (Due to his loss, Tracy Smothers must leave XPW.)

- The commentators act surprised:

KLOSS: "One. Two. [does his signature scream]"
RIVERA (in his very latino accent): "Tracy Smothers career is over."
KLOSS: Smothers is gone! Smothers is gone from XPW!"
RIVERA: "This is a sad day for Larry Rivera."
KLOSS: "...And you know who he (referring to Smothers) has to thank - Rob Black."

Afterwards, Kaos climbs back up to his feet and Moore raises Kaos' hand for a moment. Smothers is still down as we get a shot of Rob Black, who looks surprised that Kaos won. Kaos climbs up onto the buckle and raises his arm in triumph before climbing back off and exiting the ring. Smothers starts getting back up as Kaos walks back up the aisleway, slapping the hands of some lucky fans on his way. Smothers is now at ringside, holding his head, and Black continually apologizes to him for making the match (presumably). Smothers starts pointing at Black (who has a water bottle in his hand), as if to blame it on him.

Black argues with him, and Smothers then grabs him by the collar and pulls his fist back, teasing that he's going to punch the boss. Smothers pretends to ask the ringside fans if he should swing. Black continues arguing, and finally, after a good 12 or so seconds of pretty bad acting, Smothers releases his grip and the two hug and make up. Smothers raises Black's arm, and the two then make their way back up the aisleway to the lockerrooms.

POST-MATCH THOUGHTS: This was definitely not as good as the Kaos/Rizzono match earlier in the night. Smothers, in my mind, is one of the most overrated grapplers in the business. He's a veteran, yet he's not too athletic and considerably sloppy for his experience. There were a couple of botches spots in this bout (the russian legsweep, the finish, etc.), and the finish, a Backflip into a Falling Inverted DDT, was noticably (partially) botched, as Smothers had trouble getting Kaos over. That definitely hurt the match a bit, as it was the finish, probably the most important part. This was a very "blah" match, with nothing very special in it. It was considerably sloppy and pretty short (shorter than kaos' first match earlier in the night). This match, though, did solidify Kaos as a reputable superstar in XPW. XPW would sell it as a major accomplishment for the young phenom, as he had sent a considerably well known veteran packing his bags and leaving XPW. I wasn't very impressed with the match itself, though. This both could've and should've been better than it was, and I expected better from both men. Smothers would not wrestle another match in XPW after this one, meaning that he kept to the stipulation.
RATING: *

- We see a graphic hyping the next match (XPW World Heavyweight Title Match: Terry Funk [w/ Rob Black] vs. Sabu [C] [w/ Josh Lazie]), an exploding XPW logo graphic, and then cut back in to where Guido, in the middle of the ring, introduces the night's main event as the fans chant, "You Suck Dick!" toward him: "And now, wrestlin' fans, it's time for our main event. The following bout is scheduled for one fall wit' a sixty-minute time limit and is for the XPW World Heavyweight Title." We now pan out to the entrance stage as Danzig's "Firemass" hits. Josh Lazie and his man, Sabu, who's dressed in his usual Arabian ring attire, make their way out through the curtain and down the aisleway. Sabu is carrying his world title belt over his shoulder. Lazie climbs up onto the apron and through the ropes into the ring, while Sabu looks under the ring for any weapons. The referee climbs into the ring and argues with Sabu, still at ringside, for a few seconds.

Sabu circles around the ring and soon stops to ask a ringside security member something. The guy shakes his head, says a few words to him, and Sabu then continues his walk around the ring. He again looks under the ring for weapons but finds none. He climbs up onto the apron, responds to something that another ringside security member said to him, and then climbs through the ropes and into the ring. He picks up his title belt, which is laying in the ring, and then, along with the referee, kicks some of the garbage left over from the deathmatch two bouts earlier out of the ring. Lazie climbs up onto the apron (I guess that he had climbed out for some reason) and into the ring. He helps Sabu kicks some of the deathmatch remnants out. Sabu now holds his title belt and does his signature sky point as the fans repeatedly chant his name. Sabu and Lazie climb out of the ring as Kloss mentions that it's an honor to have Funk, who's apparently on loan from WCW, here at this XPW show.

We now pan back over to the entrance stage as Rob Black and Terry Funk walk out through the curtain. Funk carries a hankerchief and the XPW branding iron (which he had earlier in the night) as he and Black walk down through the aisleway. A fan must've shouted something, as Funk turns around and heads over to the guardrail, proceeding to yell some stuff to someone in the crowd. Funk now follows Black down the aisle to the ringside area. Black flicks off the camera with his middle finger and stays at ringside as Funk climbs up the ring steps and into the ring. Funk enters and scares then-XPW Online Radio host and XPWrestling.com webmaster Tony T. out of the ring, and then starts scaring the referee. Funk climbs out of the ring and starts pushing the camera man. "You think you're some kind of punk ass?" he asks. After some more rambling, he calls the guy an "asshole." Funk now picks up the timekeeper's table and throws it up agains the guardrail. Sabu, has taken of much of his attire by now and is wearing only his boots and signature ring pants. He really wants at Funk, who now climbs back into the ring. The two longtime foes circle around eachother, squaring off.

MATCH SEVEN: XPW World Heavyweight Title Match: SABU (C) (w/ XPW co-CEO Josh Lazie) vs. "The Living Legend" TERRY FUNK (w/ XPW co-CEO Rob Black) (referee: Pee Wee Moore)

The referee signals for the bell, and it rings, meaning that we're underway with the main event. The two continue facing off until they tieup. Funk forces Sabu into the corner, punches him three times, and then throws him out of the ring through the top and middle ring ropes. Funk climbs out himself, but Sabu surprises him with a gutkick, a face punch, and a fist to his back, which sends "The Living Legend" onto a ringside table that's been set up. Sabu rams Funk's face down into the table, partially cracking it. One more head ram and it breaks (with Funk on it). I can see lucky fan bend down and reach through the bottom guardrail and grab Funk's signature red headband. No matter how this match goes, he'll certainly go home happy. Sabu lifts Funk back up and delivers two punches before rolling his foe back into the ring. Sabu crawls in through the middle and bottom ring rope and immediately covers, but Funk kicks out at 2. Sabu stomps on Funk twice before delivering five punches.

Funk is now in the corner, and Sabu whips him towards the opposite one, only to have Funk sell it terribly by sloppily rolling down onto the mat. Pitiful...Funk climbs back up to his feet and receives a gutkick and two punches before Sabu again whips him into the corner. Sabu catches a steel chair that's thrown into the ring (most likely by Lazie), sets it up near the corner, backs up, charges, and faults off of it with an attempted Air Sabu (Running Chairvault Corner Heelkick). He catches nothing but the buckle and ring mat, as Funk had dived out of the way. Funk gets up and moves the chair over a bit before front suplexing Sabu into a crotched position on the top turnbuckle. Sabu is standing on the back of the second rope as Funk climbs up and stands on the front of the second rope. Sabu tries to fight back with two fists while Funk's climbing up, but they have little effect on the challenger.

Funk places Sabu's head in between his legs, lifts him up, and falls back. He's looking to piledrive Sabu onto the chair, but he doesn't measure it right and he lands back-first on top of the chair, with Sabu landing on top of him. That was a sick bump, but a poorly done manuever. The chair is now bent, and both men are down as a "Holy Sh*t!" chant begins. Funk gets up first and picks up the bent chair. He sloppily bashes it over Sabu's head, sending the champ down again. Funk lifts Sabu up again and punches him, but Sabu fights back with a gutkick and throws Funk out of the ring. Sabu, in the ring, looks around, obviously for a chair, but can't find any, so he climbs out and hammers Funk twice. Sabu now slides back into the ring and Lazie hurls him a chair. Sabu sets it up and tries a triple-jump springboard plancha to the outside, but loses his balance on the top ring rope. So, he instead just climbs up onto the top ring rope and flies out onto Funk with a double axehandle smash. A typical botched spot by Sabu.

Both men are down, and Funk crawls down the entrance aisleway away from Sabu. Sabu eventually gets up and follows him, but Funk grabs a nearby steel chair and hurls it at Sabu's face, knocking him back down. Funk now leads Sabu up the aisleway. Sabu elbows him in the gut, but it has no effect, the defending champ is thrown into the guardrail. Funk continues leading Sabu up the aisleway, and once at the top, rams Sabu's head into the huge XPW "X" logo three times. The reason the doesn't get past three is because the f*cking logo collapses onto them! Holy sh*t! The referee and Lazie check on both men. Sabu is the first man back up, and he rips off a small part of the stage area, but before he can hit Funk with it, accidentily cuts his left hand on it and dropping it back down onto the floor. He shakes that hand before picking the piece of stage back up and bashing it down over the back of Funk. Sabu gutkicks Funk before slamming him down onto a fairly large piece of the stage area.

Funk fires back with a punch before leading Sabu back a few feet and sliding him up onto the real stage area. The lighting is terrible up there as Moore, and then Funk climb up the steps onto the stage area. Kloss says he's "outta' here" Meanwhile, Sabu rams a ladder (which Funk had brought up onto the stage area) into Funk's gut three times, but Funk fights back with a punch, sending Sabu down. Rivera says that he's now the only one at the commentating position, meaning that Kloss must have left. We move into some slightly better lighting as Funk picks up the ladder and hurls it at Sabu (who had just stood back up), sending him back down. Funk now leads Sabu over to the computer table of Tony T. (who, at the time, was XPWrestling.com's online radio host and one of XPW's main photographers) and rams his head down onto it. The computer starts shaking, but a security member is able to steady it before it falls off of the table and breaks into mere pieces.

Funk now plays up his heel persona as he goes over to Kloss (who is in fact away from the commentating position and standing near the action on the stage) and hammers his back, sending him down. The fans begin a "Holy Sh*t! chant as Funk goes back over to Sabu and whips him down about six feet (off of the stage area) onto the concrete below, where he's now surrounded by the rabid XPW fans. Funk and the referee jump down onto the concrete as Rivera announces that he's returned to the commentating position and that Kloss was punched down by Funk. Funk and Sabu brawl through the crowd, and when they finally become visible again, Funk headbutts Sabu, and then hammers him. Funk leads Sabu a ways and then signals for the fans to move. They do, and Funk hurls Sabu over some chairs and onto the concrete. Sabu slightly touches the red guardrail, so we're finally back at ringside. Sabu, followed by Funk, climb over the guardrail back to the ringside area as Kloss comes back to the commentating position and terribly sells the Funk punch.

Funk hammers Sabu, but gets hit in the gut and punches back by the champ. Sabu throws a chair at Funk's head, and while it makes contact (Funk sells the pain), it's caught and Funk, who's leaning on the ring apron, hurls it up over his head and into the ring as Sabu sets up a table, which is already lying flat on the ring mat, in the corner. Both men climb up onto the apron, and then into the ring. Funk grabs the chair and hurls it out of the ring. Sabu comes over and punches Funk before lariat/punch comboing him onto the table that's set up near the corner. Sabu climbs through the ropes onto the apron, and then up onto the top buckle. He flies off and nails his signature Flying 180º (direction turning) Horizontally Spinning Splash, but the table doesn't quite break. Sabu slightly adjusts Funk's position on the table before climbing back through the ropes onto the apron, and then up onto the top buckle. He flies off and tries his signature Flying Leg Drop (which XPW calls, "The Arabian Facebuster"), and both crash through the table. However, Funk avoids contact with Sabu by sitting up at the last possible moment, narrowly avoiding the leg drop.

A "Terry!" chant begins as Funk rolls out of the ring to Black. Funk takes a quick gulp of some drink and then, after having some trouble, is eventually able to light his XPW branding iron on fire using a match! Funk now slides back into the ring and stands up before blowing fire towards Sabu. The fire doesn't go quite far enough to make contact with Sabu, but it was still quite a sight. However, out of nowhere, another fireball is sent into the ring, and Funk goes down. We quickly find out that it was Sabu's manager, Lazie that threw it. As Funk gets back up, Sabu, who's also back up, throws another (the third of the match!) fireball, at the challenger. Sabu now hammers Funk down, picks up the burning branding iron and pretends to drive it down into the face of Funk before covering him. Moore counts: 1-2-3! Funk kicks out right after three, but it's too late! Sabu retains his XPW title from arch-rival Terry Funk!

WINNER and STILL XPW World Heavyweight Champion: SABU

- Afterwards, Sabu slides out of the ring as his theme music hits and Funk gets up and picks up the branding iron. Sabu and Lazie presumably hightail it to the back because Funk is absolutely livid. He climbs out of the ring and chases some photographers and other personnel around the ringside area with the burning branding iron. I believe Black may have hightailed it away, too. Funk threatens some fans with the branding iron and waves it back and forth over his head before rolling back into the ring with it. The fans chant, "Terry!" as he garners attention by waving the branding iron back and forth, going nuts with it. He hits the bottom ring rope with it and kicks something out of the ring. Funk climbs through the ropes onto the apron, scaring away fellow Black Army member Kraq. Funk waves the branding iron at some fans before climbing down onto the concrete. A ringside fan argues with Funk as a younger one, wearing a backpack, pats "The Living Legend" on the shoulder. Funk turns around and walks around the ring passing a "Terry Funk has to retire more than Hogan does" sign, not even bothering to achknowledge it.

He continues his walk around the ring, pausing for a moment to look at a guy who's pulled his shirt sleave up, revealing a bare upperarm. The fans repeatedly slaps his upperarm, begging Funk to try to burn him, but Funk makes the right decision and keeps on walking. Funk finally reaches the front of the aisleway and raises the burning branding iron high above his head. Funk decides to go for one more walk around the ring, and he threatens a photographer away with the branding iron. The guy gets a few feet back, but Funk continues at him, so he scurries away. Funk threatens to burn a cameraman as he gets right near the lens of the camera. He decides to turn back around and glares at the young fan with the backpack for a few moments before continuing his walk. The kid is able to grab his hand and Funk shakes it for about a second before he gets to far away to hold on (as he continues walking). A "Terry!" chant begins as he reaches the front of the entranceway again and starts walking up it. We get a shot of Funk walking as Kloss says, "Fans, stay with us..." Cut out.

POST-MATCH THOUGHTS: Boring match. This was definitely the worst match of the night, and when the main event is the show's worst match - well - that's not good. A big brawl with several botched spots. The reason it gets the rating it does is because of the slightly entertaining in-ring work early in the match, the sick Super Piledriver bump onto the set up steel chair, and the XPW logo falling down, which was pretty cool. This match was very boring, and far - FAR - worse than their No-Rope Barbed-Wire Death Match at ECW Born To Be Wired '97. The fireball stuff got a bit out of hand when three were used. It was cool the first time, but after that...The finish was bad. Sabu burning Funk with the branding iron was a very dull way to end the match. I was not impressed with this bout, to say the least.
RATING: 1/2*

- We see an exploding XPW logo graphic, and then cut back into a closeup shot of Josh Lazie in Sabu's lockerroom. Lazie cuts a pretty good promo on Funk: "Terry Funk, you come to XPW. You try to take the title. Rob Black bi - brings you in. You failed. [we move back a bit and Sabu, looking intimidating, comes into view. He's right next to Lazie.] Justtt - you're like your whole career. One big failure after another. What are you gonna' do now? Retire again? Ya' come in. Ya' wanna' play with fire? We can play with fire. Ya' wanna' play with barbed-wire? We can play with barbed-wire. Come on back. Come on down, Funk. Come on down. We're waitin' - with open arms. You name the match. You name the time. You name the day. We'll be there, waiting, for you. Let's have another retirement match, Funk. You're old, an' you're washed up. You could never, ever be [pause] half the man that Sabu is. No matter what they say...No matter what they do, you come to X-P-dubaya', you get your ass [partially bleeped out] handed to ya' ever time. [Sabu does his sky point.] That's what I'm talkin' about." Cut out. Pretty good promo by Lazie.

- We see an exploding XPW logo graphic, and then cut back into a closeup of Terry Funk. The camera is turned on it's side, making it look like Funk's head is coming out from the left side. Funk cuts a promo: "[to cameraman] Why don't you just back your ass up a little bit? You heard me. [cameraman slightly backs up] I said, 'Back your ass up.' You're not dealin' with an ordinary flunky. You're dealin' with a Funk. I've been in this f*ckin' [partially bleeped out] damn profession for thirty-five years, and I've never backed down from anybody, and I don't have any intention of backing down from some f*ckin' [bleeped out], damn, stupid, idiot, moron, bastard with a f*ckin' [bleeped out] damn camera. Do you understand when I say, 'Stay my distance'[?], and I can get anywhere I want with you. You understand that?! Now, talkin' about Sabu - Who in the hell does he think he is?! Hasn't he ever heard of a wrestling hold? Doesn't he realize what hardcore is? Or doesn't X-P-dubayo' realize [VERY hard to decipher due to the mumbling. When I say that you, the viewer, should be thankful that I was able to realize what he said, I mean that you should be truly thankful. That was VERY hard to decipher.] what hardcore wrestling truly is?"

"I know what hardcore wrestling is. Hardcorez' whenever you go out there and you put a hundred and five percent inside of those ring ropes - not all over the f*ckin' [partially bleeped out] damned arena - not all over the f*ckin' [partially bleeped out] damn building - not all over the Los Angeles, and not all over the state of California. Ya' keep it in the God damn ["damn" is partially bleeped out, for some wierd reason] wrestling ring. That's what Sabu did not do! He didn't want it in the ring. No, of course not. [pause; lowers his voice a bit] You' think that I don't remember the most physical and brutal that I was ever in professional wrestling was in a barbed-wire match against Sabu? And we both had to be cut out of the barbed-wire at the end. Do you think that I don't respect him for his ath-a-letic abilities in a four-cornered ring with ropes on it, whol' staying within the ring? He's the best in the world. But no - he wants to go beyond that, and not just hardcore. He wants to go tu' super hardcore - tu' out of the arena - out of the building - out of the state. God only knows where he wants tu' go.

"But [I think he said, "but." It's possible that he may have said, "well." Again, he mumbled his words], let's put this son of a b*tch [bleeped out] in bob(barbed)-wire - not just around the ring ropes. Let's go with a ten foot wall around each side of the ring with bob-wire - bob-wire in the ring. Let's pile it up. Pile any sh*t [bleeped out] you want in that ring - Sabu - any kind a' sh*t [bleeped out] that you wanna' bring into the ring. Well, just bring it in, because I don't give a damn, as long as it's that four corners of that ring, and in the confinements of the no-fan zone, with a barb[barbed]-wire wall on each side, and let's just go - till one guy says, 'I quit'. [long pause; stares into camera from very close range] I know you won't say i', 'I quit', and you know that I won't say, 'I quit'. Let one of us end the other one's career [pause] if that's what it takes. If that's what it takes - If that's what it takes [turns around and walks away from camera]..."

Cut out. Great promo by Funk. Nothing every came of that challenge, but it was a fine promo. The camera was positioned the whole time on it's side so that it looked like Funk was popping out of the left side of it. I found it interesting that Funk blamed Sabu for taking the match up onto the stage area, when it was in fact him (Funk) who led Sabu up the aisleway, beginning the action on the entranceway and upper stage.

- We see an exploding XPW logo graphic, and then cut back into the XPW commentator's booth, where Kris Kloss (on the viewer's left) and Larry Rivera are sitting.

K.K.: "Ya' see that? Ya' see that, Rivera? Rob Black, even with the help of Terry Funk, cannot take the gold from Sabu. How do ya' like that [to Rivera]? [Rivera starts talking as Kloss continues for a few more moments] [Kloss bangs down on the commentator's table with his right fist] What a match...What a match!"
L.R. (in his very Latino accent): "Let me tell you something! Let me tell you people something, man! This is only the beginning because what makes Robert Black - giving him only serves to make him stronger, chico. [WTF is that supposed to mean?] Believe me - Robert Black is not going to sleep. He's not going to rest until the XPW Heavyweight Title is in the possession of the army. [to fans] You understand me, man?!"
K.K.: "Rivera! Wo! Calm down, man. I think Black's gonna' have to wait a long time for that to happen. For Larry Rivera, I'm Kris Kloss, thanking you all for joining us here on XPW Home Video."

Cut out.

- We see an exploding XPW logo graphic, and then cut into the awesome music video that we saw before the show to Danzig's "Five Finger Crawl." Once it starts to come to an end, we see the following graphic:

"GO FUNK YOURSELF
XPW'S ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SHOW"

We then fade into a plain black screen, and the following message appears in white lettering at the bottom of the screen for a few moments before disappearing:

"©2000 XPW HOME VIDEO"

END OF VIDEO

VIDEO TAPE THOUGHTS: While XPW hyped it as a huge show, this definitely isn't the best of XPW's commercial tapes. The Messiah/Supreme deathmatch made it what it was. The other bouts were OK, but nothing was even close to the deatmatch. The three-way match was a fine spotfest, and while most of the other matches (except Sabu/Funk) were watchable, the tape itself wasn't very good. The deathmatch must be seen to be believed, but unless you're looking to complete your XPW Home Video collection, pass this one up. For an indy show, this was a finely produced video, but XPW has done better. If you're interested in knowing about the production, the lighting could've been better, but the camera work and production was fine. A master copy, which I reviewed isn't blurry one bit, so you don't have to worry about that. Except for Sabu's theme, none of the entrance music is very audible, and some are completely unaudible. Don't let the main event for this show fool you. The main event was the worst match on the tape.
RECOMMENDATION: Slight recommendation, mainly for Messiah/Supreme.

PHAT STATS:

• AVERAGE MATCH RATING: *1/2
• WORST MATCH of the NIGHT: SABU (C) vs. TERRY FUNK (XPW K.O.T.D.M. Title Match (1/2*)
• EXTREME MATCH of the NIGHT (Hardcore-wise): The MESSIAH vs. SUPREME (C) (XPW K.O.T.D.M. Title Match) (***5/8)
• MATCH of the Night: (Hardcore-wise): The MESSIAH vs. SUPREME (C) (XPW K.O.T.D.M. Title Match) (***5/8)
• BUMP/SPOT of the Night: SUPREME Superplexes The MESSIAH off of the top-rope and to the outside, sending both men crashing through a table that had a huge bed absolutely covered in barbed-wire (Honorable mentions go to Homeless Jimmy's Flying Swan Dive Body Attack Suicida, Webb Spider German Suplexing Jimmy off of the top-rope and onto the back of his neck, and Messiah's Quebrada onto a huge bed of barbed-wire that was on top of Supreme.)

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