What Are You Really Up To?

 To you,

   Another school day, another day of being with you. You get really
 close to me and showed me something. I leaned over and took a look.
 We laughed. It was funny. For a split second, our eyes met. For me,
 it was a happy moment, to be able to look at your eyes. That's what
 always happen, right? I don't know what you think.

   I really don't know when I fell for you. I admit, it's not very
 usual for me to fall for anyone. I fell in love once or twice, it
 was unsuccessful, so I swore I'd never fall in love again. But then
 you came. At first we act as if we only know of each other's existence.
 But as time grew, I began to miss you when you're gone. Be angry
 when you don't come to school, think of you every time of everyday.

   When I fall in love, it's just that. I never think of my crush, not
 even miss him. After all, I'm abnormal when it comes to love. My
 friend once asked me what I think of to make myself wake up when I'm too
 lazy to go to school. I knew that she's expecting that I'll be excited
 to see my crush, so I'd wake up. But no, back then, I always thought
 that I'll always be late. THAT would really wake me up and hurry
 to school. She sweatdropped. But now, the one that wakes me up
 every morning, is that I'll be seeing you. What now?

   I can't understand you. Are you playing with me? I thought so. Two
 can play this game. We're really close. We act as if we like each
 other, but no one's telling about it. If ever our hands touched, you
 or I would never take it away. You always lean on me, and I, to you.
 We always spend time together. Sharing jokes, teasing others, or who
 knows what else. Hey, you even sing sing for me. Not to mention love
 songs. While singing with a teacher in front, you will look at me, as
 if the song is for me, but it's all very confusing, because suddenly,
 you'll let out words that would mean that the song is for everybody.
 It's obvious that I like you. I think you know that. But why won't
 you shy away? Why are you still with me?

   When we're on either side of the room, I can catch you stealing
 glances at me. And sometimes, you catch me. You always talk to me,
 no matter how far we are to each other. You always catch my attention.
 Our classmates always tease us, and I pretend that I'd be mad, in
 order for you not to know. But deep inside, their words hit me like
 a sword. They don't know how close they are to the truth.

   I don't want you to know. I don't want our friendship to fall. I
 thought that if you knew about it, you'd go away and feel uneasy. So
 I kept silent and told only selected individuals, although I want to
 shout to the whole world that I love you, and I'm not one of the boys
 because I am in love.

   One of those who knows my feelings about you asked me what I would
 do if you feel the same way. I don't know, so I told her that it
 would be YOUR problem. My friend told me that she thinks you feel the
 same. I don't know. And I don't know if I want to know. It's all really
 confusing. I never felt this way before. No one ever made me feel this
 way before. No one but you.

   Now someone from hell told me that you like me. Hell with him! Part
 of me want to jump and shout for joy. Part of me wanted to strangle
 him and demand never to toy with me. His words took effect on my
 nerves. The stubborn one won out. You know it's not unusual. After all,
 most of you think that I'm one of the boys, since I'm really close
 to all the boys in the class... in a boyish manner. I told him to
 shut up and never to repeat those words again. It's impossible for
 someone to like me. I'm a tomboy. I'm not cute. Nor pretty. He
 didn't repeat it because he's afraid that I'll be mad at him. But deep
 down inside of me, I'm longing to here those words.

   Now I have to ask. What the hell are you really up to? I can see
 that sometimes, you want me to accompany you somewhere else. But you
 can't even say it straight. And you can't even look at my eyes. Are
 you just waiting for the right time? Or are you toying with me? I can
 see that you always follow me around the room. I'm not exaggerating.
 I can really notice that. Please, I'm really confused. I want to get
 away from you to stop these feelings, but I can't be away from you.

   Now it's really unusual for me to write a letter to a boy, let
 alone talk like a love-sick little girl. But I just want to ask. But
 I don't expect for an answer. I just want you to know. And I don't
 expect for you to come over me and tell me you feel the same. It's
 impossible. If you're just playing, I'll play with you. I can
 manage. Now, about the question...

   What are you really up to?

                                                         From me.

   I folded the paper and scowled in disgust. Writing a letter to a
 boy, asking for difficult answers, and telling that I'm in love with
 someone is the last thing I'd ever do. But I'd give it to him anyway.
 A few of my classmates were on their way to school too. And I walked
 with them. When we arrived at the classroom, he was there, and they
 teased us again when he headed towards me.

  "Hey, Mako-chan!" Seiya greeted. I mockingly smiled at him. And
 playfully punched his arm. I handed him the letter.

  "Who's this from?" he asked.

  "I dunno. What does it say?" I asked. He read the letter with a
 mixed expression of confusion and amusement as I slowly walked to
 my locker to get my things.

 End.