The Unfinished Letter By Raiden raiden2004@mailcity.com rated g Hello readers! This is sort of a sequel to my 'What Are You Really Up To'. It that story, Mako-chan tells Seiya her true feelings for her. Now, she- ooops! Just read, ok? The legalizing thing: We all know that Sailor Moon is not mine, so why still write it again and again? We know to whom it belongs to. So now, the start of the story... Ooops. My mistake. The title first, then the story... The Unfinished Letter To you, Ok, ok. This is my second letter. So perhaps now you know me. Unless you don't know who sent you the other one... if you're that stupid. 'Kay. How do I start? First of all I don't know WHY I fell in love with you. I HATE you for that. It's ruining my reputation. Of being a toughie, that is. People know me, as the Abnormal Girl when it comes to love. I just feel it, but not let it out. Now, because of you, I let it out! I can't believe myself! Now that you've read the letter, I can't do anything about it. And the fact that you're an idol singer? Aaaargh! My mind is in a whirl. I'm always thinking how I- I can't say it. It's difficult. I'm always quiet. I'm always down. These days, I let my hair lose in order to hide my face. That thing turned my life into chaos. It took the attention of many boys, but I don't care. I have to think. People always ask me what's the matter with me. Even you. I shoo you away. Why tell you? You can't help me. So now, I'm going to tell all what's in my mind to you. Even if I don't know how. Perhaps one by one. You don't know the story of my life. Of my love life, that is. There's this boy, Freddy. My first boyfriend. The freak dumped me for no reason at all. Then I swore I'd never fall in love again. Then there's Shinosaki, my best pal since childhood. We grew up together. Then things became complicated, and we fell in love. Then he went away. That's when the tougher-than-wall attitude came. Suitors rushed in, I shoo them out. I'd never fall in love again. The plan was successful. I'm happier that way. Now, YOU came, along with your brothers, to whom two of my friends are involved in an relationship with. Then slowly, and I admit, steadily, I develop feelings towards- NOW, I'M REALLY MAD! I'M WRITING A LETTER AGAIN? A LOVE LETTER? I'D BETTER FINISH NOW. I THINK YOU HAVE TO HIDE YOUR FACE FROM ME. I'M GONNA BUST YOUR NOSE FOR ALL THESE. DO ANYTHING TO MAKE ME MAD AT YOU. I HATE YOU! I DON'T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE, SO THERE! THIS IS THE LAST, AND I REPEAT, THE LAST LETTER I'LL WRITE FOR YOU! JUST FORGET ABOUT THE OTHER ONE. NOTHING HAPPENED, YOU READ NO LETTER FROM ME, AND NOTHING WILL CHANGE. EXCEPT MAYBE FOR THE FACT THAT MY BLOOD WILL BOIL WHEN I SEE YOU. GOOD RIDDANCE. From me. ((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*)) I folded the letter. Why would Mako-chan be mad at me? I didn't do a thing. Tomboys are really hard to read. They come telling you that they're in love with you, then now, they say they hate you. The last letter she gave made me the happiest man. But now? She hates me? I can't believe her. But I don't think I meant to read the letter. I mean, I just found it in her locker, hidden under all those books. If she were to give it to me, then I know that this would be in MY locker. Or she would give it to me just like what she did before. I just stole it from her. I know that she knows that I know that she gave me the letter. None of us made a move. Things were the same, well except the fact that we don't talk that much. I'm not afraid to make a move after she gave me the letter. But maybe I am, because she seems so distant now. Always thinking. Always shooing us away. When I'm there. I'll ask her what's wrong, but she'll just look at me and give a lame smile then be lost in her thoughts again. When I leave to eat lunch with my brothers, the last time I'll see her is her head will be buried in her hands, or rested on her desk, or she'll be slumping as if she will puke. When her friends ask her what's wrong, she'll say nothing and her eyes will get all misty. She'll wipe angrily the tears. I can see all that. I can see her from a safe distance. But then slowly, Usagi makes her laugh. Then she'll come to her old self. But when I return, she'll feel bad again. I feel really hurt to know that I'm the cause of her confusion. I'm the cause of her distance from others. I'm the cause of her sadness. But what did I do? I can't do anything to help her. I just watch as she feel helpless with her thoughts. What was she thinking? What is in her mind? Either she's as mad as a bull that just saw a red cloth, or she's confused as a little child not knowing how to get a cookie from a shelf. I don't know. Love. Can't live with it, can't live without it. ((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*)) Where is that letter? That is so stupid of me. I know I hid it here under my books. Where is it?! I looked at Seiya's desk. And above it, was the scruny little white paper. He read it. He STOLE it. I'm enraged. I feel anger rising through my blood, and I know my eyes are so fierce, I can break that vase on the teacher's table. HE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO READ THE UNFINISHED LETTER! He is NOT supposed to know that I wrote another letter to him! And he had the nerve to STEAL it from ME, Kino Makoto? He's looking for pain in his muscles. Where is he? Where-is-he!? There he is. With- Oooh! That girl. She knows I like him. Why is she still pushing her self onto him?! Waitaminute. I'm jealous? Hey, I can't be jealous! But I AM! BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE! But why? My breath is ragged from anger. I can't breath. I'm so mad. Mad at him for making me in love with him. Mad at the girl for flirting with Seiya. And finally, mad at ME, for being in love. Instead of marching over to him, I marched over my desk instead. I looked at the chair beside me. HIS chair. But he's not there. He's beside HER. I bury my face in my hands again. Why is this happening to me? I'm not like this before. My mind is always spinning. What am I going to do? I'm so confused. Because of him. I don't want to admit it, but it's him. I don't know what's he really up to. As said in the first letter, he seems to be making advances. I- I don't know. I don't want to expect. But then, he told me he doesn't care for his admirers, and he doesn't care of our classmates' teasings. Doesn't that mean that he doesn't care about me? And he knows that I like him. He is toying with me. That's it. But why do I care? I'm a tomboy! I'm Kino Makoto, and I never fall in love with anyone. This is so confusing! I shook my head and rested it in my arms on the table. I looked up to observe him. Anyway, my face is hidden by my arms and hair. She's flirting with him. And he's flirting back. I mad and sad at the same time. There's always a lot on my mind. Things that I, Kino Makoto shouldn't be thinking. Why? I'm not supposed to feel this way, but I do. And I can't stop it even if I want to. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm losing in a fight. Maybe because it's a fight against myself. My heart. And they say that hearts are so hard to fight with. "Mako-chan, what's wrong?" I heard someone ask. "Go away." I said. I don't want anyone to know. They can't help me. They can't do a thing. There's only one solution, but why was it so hard to get. Like they don't want me to get it. My friend went away, but I heard her whisper. "You've been like that for days. I hope you can talk about it." I felt relieved when she went away. My friends were just outside the door. And Shizuka, the president of my class, and my friend. I think she's telling my friends what happened to me. I can barely make out the words 'she's been like that for days', and 'do you know what's wrong with her?'. Then my friends will answer 'I don't know', or maybe 'she doesn't tell us either'. They were whispering, but I can hear what they say. They asked permission to go in, and for once, the president let them in. "Hi, T-Bolt." Usagi greeted as cheerful as possible. She used her pet name for me. Thunderbolt. T-Bolt for short. I hid my smile. "Hi." I mumbled, but never looked up. Well, I did. To look for Seiya. He's gone with his brothers. "Hi!" Usagi greeted again. Oooh, she won't give up, will she? I looked at her, only my eyes show up. Shizuka was at her side. She's a deary. My other friends were seated around me. We were just like that for a long while. Finally, Minako and Ami gave up. "Hey, we'll go eat downstairs ok?" Minako said. I nodded silently. "Are you sure you'll be ok?" Ami asked uncertainly. I nodded. They left after that. But Usagi and Shizuka still didn't. "Ok, what's wrong with you?" Usagi demanded. I remained quiet. "What?" Helpless, my eyes get all misty. I push them back. "Hey, you're crying again." Shizuka said softly. Someone called her, and she excused herself. Usagi glared at me. "I believe, that if I tell anyone, my reputation will be destroyed." I said quietly. She looked at me with one raised eyebrow. "You're in love, aren't you?" Usagi wondered. Smack on the dot! I mean- no! I mean, "I don't know, Usagi. And I think I don't want to know." I said quietly through my arms. She looked at me with a teasing face. "Ha! You are in love! Ha ha-" her laugh was cut short when she choked on her Coke. I laughed for it was a funny sight. "Hey, now you laughed! It been years!" Shizuka exclaimed. I smiled meekly. So well I did! Usagi can sure make someone happy even in their saddest moment. That's what make her so special. Well, my heart is still as heavy as it was loaded with a ton of metal. I buried my head again, and they patted me sympathetically. Then moments came when the good-bye tap came. I'm alone again. Before I knew it, I was lost in my thoughts again. ((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*))((*)) There she was. Laughing... then poof! What's wrong with her? Oh yeah, me. I want to approach her and tell her I feel the same. But that might end up into puzzlement. She might get confused again. I don't know either. I just had my problems which put down my grades and she tried to help, but I can't tell her. I refused her help, and it is right for her to refuse mine. I got in our class and I think her friends went back to theirs too. There she was. All alone. I was to approach her when Miko stopped me again. I think Miko likes me too. But I don't care. I care only for the one I like. A lot of people fell in love with me. That's because I'm an idol singer. But I'm one hundred percent that Makoto didn't fell in love with me for the same reason. I think she loves me of who I am inside. I know because that's the only reason left to think of. What kind of tomboy will fall in love with an idol singer and take it so seriously that she will be distant for who knows how long? A tomboy that was REALLY in love. And I feel very special to finally be loved. But what did I do to deserve this? Why can't things just be the way they have to be? I tell her I love her and she tells me the same and we'll live happily ever after. Why is that so hard to get? It's so simple. Did I do something wrong? "Seiya-kun, will you help me with this math problem?" Miko asked sweetly. I sat down beside her and helped her but my mind is directed to a raging girl four seats behind me. I can't approach Makoto. She may be mad at me. Heck, she is mad! It's all written in the unfinished letter. I was about to know all the things in her mind but she suddenly blew. The unfinished letter might give me the solution to those problems. But I don't need any letter, let alone an unfinished one. I can talk to her, right now. I excused myself from Miko and headed towards my friend. A lot of people cheered, but I ignored them. Makoto still hasn't held up her head. I sat in front of her. "Hi." I greeted. She never even nodded to me. "Hi." I repeated. Still no answer. "Mako-chan-" "I'm fine, Seiya. Leave me alone." she said. Her words were muffled by her arms. "No, you're not fine. They said you haven't eaten yet." I argued. "Just go away, Seiya. I need to think." I want to argue but that's what she wants. I got up and headed for the windows. Here, I drowned myself into thoughts again. I thought of Makoto, my former problems, and the unfinished letter. End.