He woke up… thanks to a very annoying sunray that poured through his window and landed precisely on his right eyelid. The warmth of the sunray was unwelcome and made him groan softly, rubbing his face against his soft pillow while he adamantly refused to fully wake up. He wanted to sleep some more. For some reason, he was feeling tired – and sore – as if he just ran a marathon.

The funny thing was that, even though he felt so tired – and sore – he wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable or irritated with it. Right the contrary. He was … contented. Contented as someone who just made his greatest dream come true.

Basking in the great feeling of completion, he only wanted to stay just the way he was right at that moment – not fully awake but neither asleep. He was in between the land of dreams and the harsh realm of reality, secure in a little haven were everything is possible and there is no war, sadness or loneliness. There was only warmth, security and a great sense of certainty that wasn’t all too alien to him.

He used to feel this comfortable and secure a long time ago.

In his mind’s eye, an old image flashed… A happy face, heightened with laughter. A great sense of complicity that made him feel whole…

That image brought a great deal of sadness, since it reminded him of an innocence and trust he no longer holds in his heart. He no longer was a fool kid… and, certainly, he’s not an innocent man.

Damn sunray! Why do you have to come and wake me when I was having the greatest dream I had in years!? – he thought, groaning softly and moving his head so the sunlight would touch his pale blonde tresses instead of his face.

Just then, he noticed the scent… sweet Ylang-Ylang… seductive jasmine… and just a hint of spicy cinnamon mingling together in this warm, familiar, perfume.

A soft smile touched his lips when the scents filled his head and brought back so many memories… My childhood… my little tree house where I could find solace whenever father reprimanded me… A pair of eyes that were so clear… so bright and beautiful, so full of innocence that made his heart ache…

He sighed, wishing he could turn back time so he could see those beautiful, innocent eyes just one more time. He wished he could change the way things turned out so his hands weren’t full of blood, so he could still be as innocent – though a little hotheaded and pampered – as the kid he used to be. Just being innocent would be enough to make him worthy of such innocence and purity she represents to him, and being worthy meant he could make her his till the end of time.

But he no longer was an innocent human being. He had seen and done so many things… good things, true, but terrible at the same time, that makes him unworthy of her.

Funny how, even after so many years, he still remembers her and worships her memory with such fervor. Funny how her eyes seem to haunt him at night, in his dreams, making him wish he could just touch her and make everything all right.

But nothing is ever going to be all right.

He can’t have her. Things have happened that have changed him. And, besides, she’s no longer a part of his life.

Funny how that fact – the one that she was no longer allowed to be with him – was the reason why he met his destiny. He defied his luck, his life style – just for her. And what he got? A total, massive 180° change in his life style and the carefully planned future his father had set for him. He got just what he needed to be with her, but he never found her.

He now knows that the day his father fired her parents and sent them away from his state was the same day his fate was sealed. The same day he was damned with the curse of loosing her forever.

There were no ‘good-byes’ or simple notes between them when she had to go. It all happened so fast that, when he got home from school that day and faced the most heartbreaking news, he just stood there, stunned.

That day was the same day he had that terrible argument with his father. And after it, he decided he no longer needed his father or his money. He only needed his friend and the liberty she represented. And he was going to find her…

His decision was so impulsive and innocent that it makes him smile with amusement now that time has passed. How silly was of him to think that he could find her in the vast void of the universe. She could be anywhere!

But he didn’t mind then…

And certainly, he can’t mind now because now is too late.

But there’s no denying that he still remembers her. And that he still loves her with the purity only a ‘first love’ can do. He knows she will always be a part of him.

So, it doesn’t surprise him that – from time to time – he could wonder about her, where she is and if she is fine. And, sometimes, he could face her in his dreams. Dreams where he finds her finally. Dreams that, through time, have changed from simple, innocent meetings to something more… heated.

Just last night he dreamt he found her, working on a flower shop across from his office building. He dreamt that she recognized him the instant her eyes met his…

"There’s no denying who you are with those blue-green eyes and white hair." – she said, smiling at him. Then, she narrowed her eyes and eyed him with a little uncertainty. – "Am I wrong?"

Then, he saw her, talking to him under the pale moonlight sky. Her hair acquiring an ethereal halo while she looked at him with worry…or was it hurt? Did he say something that hurt her? Or, maybe, she found out about his doings after she left him and wasn’t pleased.

"Don’t leave me… Please! Don’t leave me… again…" – he heard himself say and his voice sounded pained, desperate.

She smiled at him and the next thing he felt was her soft, pliable lips against his own. The feeling being so vivid that he could almost taste the strawberry sweet flavor of her lips. The way her breath tickled the roof of his mouth sending crazy, electric shivers to run up and down his spine made his toes curl and his heart sigh. He could almost feel her pressing her body to him in a way that was both perfect and so sweet that his mind blown away and he no longer needed to think, just to react as her skin, soft as satin, warm as velvet, wrapped him in comfort. He could only feel free at last, safe and whole as if he finally found his home, his haven.

It was too much for him… too much to be just a dream. Damn dreams! He wished it all to be true!

He would gladly give up everything he has now just to be with her – just one time – and make his dream a reality.

At least, his dreams were better than the bitchy headache that was waking its way to greet him into a new day. His first day as the twenty-one years old, bachelor man – to be precise – started so sad and wrong... Some way to start his year as a legally young adult, wishing he could make the ghost of an old time girlfriend come back to his life and become a normal human being.

Quite improbable…

Now he must start to look forward and try to forget his childish fantasies. It is time to stop dreaming and face the great plan his father left for him to carry on. At twenty-one, he’s now fully at charge of his vast inheritance. He’s now the head of a great, powerful family and an also great corporation. Soon he would be pressed into producing an heir to continue the family’s name.

And he just doesn’t want to think of it right at that moment. That topic just tenses him. And, besides, he’s suffering from a bitchy headache.

And he just knows what’s the cause of that headache. In fact, his headache has a very human name…

Duo Maxwell.

Yesterday was his birthday and some of his friends and acquaintances reunited to spend the evening with him in his impressive mansion. Now that he thinks of his birthday party – or the fact that he couldn’t remember much of it – he realized that it was a great mistake of his part to let Duo take charge of his birthday plans. He should’ve known better since Duo and Trouble are synonyms. The moment his mind turned blurry should have been the moment he must have realized that Duo was up to something. But he would never have guessed the extent of his schemes. Neither did he imagine just how high a price he was about to pay for it.

Although, he should have…

It was pretty obvious to everybody – except him, that is – that the braided boy was brewing up some kind of trouble. Why, he always pays a high price for being such a kindhearted person whenever he’s around Duo! And he should’ve known better than to comply with Duo’s pleas to take charge of his birthday party. But right at that moment, the boy’s insistence was enough to numb one side of his brain – the rational part – and he accepted just to have him off.

"It’ll be fun, man! You’ll see! You just leave it all to me." – Duo said. And those words were the sentence that sent his plans for a normal, quiet birthday party, down the toilet.

Somebody should’ve knocked some sense into him right then and remind him that there would be hell to pay just to give in to Duo’s folly.

Even Fate tried to be kind to him and sent many clues throughout the first two hours – the only hours he remembers clearly – of his birthday party. He should’ve paid attention!

First, Trowa, Heero and Wufei openly declined to drink any of Duo’s offerings. Then, Relena turned green when she took a sip of Duo’s punch. Dorothy pursed her lips and made a face after taking a taste. And Noin’s eyes nearly fell out of their sockets when she tasted named beverage.

But he complied… because Duo said it was his birthday and that he needed to relax. And, boy, he did need to relax! In his mind, the notion that as soon as he turned twenty-one he will be – legally – the head of his family and inheritance, kept swimming in his head, making him nervous. Too many responsibilities would be placed upon his shoulder right then, and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to carry on so many people’s wishes.

He wasn’t sure if he could be able to carry with the burden.

He took a sip of his drink absentmindedly. He swallowed without tasting it. He was remembering that he soon would be pressed into producing an heir. And the bitter taste that thought left in his mouth surpassed the alcoholic flavor of his drink.

Distractedly, his eyes darted the room where his party was taking place. And his blue-green eyes met those of Dorothy. The young woman flickered her eyelashes and smiled at him flirtatiously.

He shuddered and took a great swig from his drink, nearly finishing it in one gulp.

He was so nervous – although ‘apprehensive’ could describe his feelings better. For some reason, he didn’t feel up to meet his destiny once more, which was ridiculous since he’s been taking care of his family business ever since the war ended a few years ago. It’s just that the fact that now it was going to be formal, legal…scared him. That made him uncertain, afraid and angry – though he never stopped smiling at his guests.

He also felt funny…

When Duo’s ‘surprise guest’ arrived, Quatre was too giddy to acknowledge Relena’s shocked expression. Now that should’ve been enough to tell him something was WRONG. But he just smiled and blushed, feeling lightheaded and carefree for the first time in years. He didn’t mind that Noin and Dorothy’s jaw reached his marble floor when Duo’s guest took her coat off.

Many of the male guests at the party roared when Duo’s guest started to dance enticingly towards Quatre. The blonde Arabian suddenly found himself lost in a blur of swaying hips, misty veils, jumping pelvis and the sound of jingle bells. His head was blurry – and he just drank two drinks!

Fate yelled at him right at that moment. Something’s wrong, you moron! – It said. But he was too giddy and happy to understand. Everything around him was moving in slow motion and the images were twisting and turning in front of his eyes. He blinked and shook his head, trying to clear his vision somehow. He was feeling kind of numb and the mixture of loud music, male roars and his dizziness just made him feel sick.

He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

His last clear memory was of him standing and turning to leave. He needed some fresh air. But the belly dancer wrapped him with one of her long, misty veils and stopped him from getting out.

The male audience roared some more. The females were either shocked or murmuring between themselves. The music was too loud. And Quatre was feeling nauseous. He smiled kindly, blushing slightly, crouched and had to hold the belly dancer’s hips because he was about to fall. His face burned in both embarrassment and shock and before he could hear the end of it, he made a mad dash out of the room…

… Just to bump headlong into someone in the corridor…

"Are you alright?" – this person asked him.

He was dizzy and had to squint, trying to focus his eyes to see the person in front of him. If the image could just hold still for a moment I would be able to see who it is! – he thought.

But the image didn’t stop moving and he, closing his eyes and pressing his fingers to his temples, mumbled a polite apology.

"Don’t worry, but you don’t look too well." – the person said. –"Are you alright?" – the person insisted.

"Ye… yeah…" – he said, wincing and feeling his body move forward.

"Hey!" – the person exclaimed, surprised while pressing her hands against his chest to prevent him from falling flat on his face. –"You certainly aren’t well, Quatre."

He frowned, blinked and then tilted his head to try and catch a better glimpse of this person’s face. And through his hazy vision he could make out a high ponytail, rose earrings and a pink blouse.

A girl… A girl was assisting him. And he’d be damned if he recognized her – although she seemed vaguely familiar to him…

The girl was smiling at him with a glint of amusement in her eyes… beautiful eyes. Eyes as green as pastures in an early spring day. Eyes that were so clear and bright, it was like looking inside her, directly to her soul.

Her hands were pressed against his chest, supporting him. And her face was just a couple of inches away from his face. They were so close that he could smell her perfume…Ylang-Ylang, jasmines and just a hint of cinnamon.

He smiled at her.

"Do… do I :: hiccup!:: know you?" – he asked and then flushed, embarrassed.

She giggled, amused. He found out he loved the sound, rich, sensually feminine.

"I think so!" – she said, beaming at him with amusement dancing in her verdant eyes. –"You were the one who invited me."

He frowned, trying to remember when he did so. He cocked one platinum eyebrow quizzically, trying to recall her voice or her face. But he couldn’t. His mind was too blurry for him to function properly. And – maybe it was the two drinks he had – but he was feeling quite comfortable with her. She made him feel warm inside… which confused him…

Why would he feel comfortable with a total stranger?

"Did… did I?"- he asked her.

She frowned, looking concerned. "You’re worse than I thought." – she said. –"What did you drink?"

He shrugged.

"Don’t ::hiccup!:: don’t know ::hiccup!:: Du… Duo gave me something ::hiccup!::"

It seemed that he got a hiccupping fit, because he couldn’t stop. The girl looked even more concerned and her frown deepened while she took his arm and crossed it over her shoulders.

"Come with me. You need some fresh air." – she said.

"Whe ::hiccup!:: where?!"

She threw at him a quick look and smile to assure him she didn’t have any kind of dishonorable thoughts in mind.

"Just outside." – she said, placing an arm around his lean waist and holding in her hand his wrist that was over her shoulder. –"You need some air. Whatever you drank was strong enough to sedate a horse, Quatre."

She was so close to him that he could just savor the feeling her body heat provoked in his body. And he was awfully aware of her presence. He could feel her everywhere while he breathe in her perfume and file it deep into his memory.

Their first step together came naturally, as if they’ve been doing this all of their lives. He nodded absentmindedly and leaned on her without knowing he did so. She stopped momentarily to regain her balance so she could support him better.

She looked up, to ask him where the nearest door was and he noticed just how close their faces were. They looked deep into each other’s eyes, without saying a word for several moments before Duo came out of the party and talked. Quatre politely dismissed him – failing to catch Duo’s smirk before he went back to the party. Then, when he looked back to the girl’s eyes, he found out she was smiling at him with that kind of smile that starts deep inside your eyes, making them shine, and then graces your lips like an afterthought of sweetness.

He just knew she was glad to be there with him. He knew so without her saying a word. And that struck him as odd, because, in his foggy brain, he still couldn’t remember her. The only thing that mattered to him was that she made him feel warm – as warm as he haven’t feel in ages – and that he loved t he feeling of her body so close to his and the way her eyes smiled at him. He wished that smile could stay there forever.

"Don’t leave me… Please! Don’t leave me … again…"

Oh, what a sweet dream he had!

All he wanted to do was to recall every detail of it; to experience again the warmth and the goose bumps he got when he was so close to her… that tingling sensation that shot through his body when he held her and breathed in her scent, becoming drunk with desire… or the way the pulse behind her ear felt against his lips.

Just to think of it made his stomach tense and his muscles tense with…

Oh, what a dream!

It’s the first time he had experienced such intense – mind blowing – sensations in his dream. It was so intense and it felt so real that he still feels tired… And he still aches; yearning against the restraints his ever-analytical mind pulls up to his raging, dream-induced, morning hormones. His need was so strong, that he ended up groaning.

What’s going on? - he thought, fighting against the haziness in his sleep-numbed brain.

Why was it so difficult to wake up?

He promptly realized that he needed to get out of bed, take a shower – and for the look of things, it should be a cold shower – and try to clear his mind before he goes to work. But his headache made him change his mind. Now, he needs to get out of bed, take a shower, and then go to Duo’s apartment so he could kill him. What the hell did he make him drink?! His head was pulsing and threatening to split in two!

With a sigh, he moved his right hand lazily over his pillow, his fingers closing around a soft mound. A little round knob rubbed against his palm… and a soft moan was heard.

His head jerked up so fast that he winced because the sudden movement created a sickening wave of pain to pounce behind his eyes. His head banged mercilessly as if his brain just slammed against his skull. Everything around him was spinning.

But, throughout his confusion, he was aware he wasn’t the one who just moaned – though he now feels like it.

His eyes opened slowly. Oh, Allah – was the only clear thought that crossed his mind while his body tensed to a point were it hurt. His heart seemed to stop for just a second and then pumped so fast against his chest, he felt giddy. His breathing froze when, daring a look down his body, he noticed two things. Being naked was the first one, but it rapidly lost importance as soon as he noticed the way he was sleeping – or should I say, over what he was sleeping.

Oh, Allah! – he thought – What I have done?

And all of this time he thought he was rubbing his face and caressing a stupid pillow!

He flushed from head to toe. He was speechless. The insides of his stomach turned to stone and he was feeling dizzy.

Oh, ALLAH! - he screamed mentally when his mind finally cleared enough to try and assimilate the fact that half of his body – his very naked body – was laying on top of a young woman… a very young and very naked woman at that.

He nearly whimpered when he found out that the ‘soft mound’ he was caressing nonchalantly was her breast.

He shut his eyes, turning his head away. He felt like fainting right then and there. His mind was racing at the speed of light. He couldn’t think straight. And his head was aching.

He just wished everything were just a bad dream, a result of his still hazy mind.

But, unfortunately, when he opened his eyes once more, the sight that greeted his eyes nearly made him cry.

Legs were intertwined and ONE OF THOSE LEGS WAS HIS! This one was placed between two long, svelte legs, as if he was trying to make his way to…

He squeezed his eyes shut again. He surely was about to faint out of embarrassment.

Just calm down, Quatre. Just calm down and THINK… THINK! Oh, Allah! This is just a dream! This is just a dream! A DREAM!"

He kept on repeating those words like a mantra.

But, no matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn’t think… especially when one of those long, svelte legs moved lazily and rubbed against his own. He tensed up and had to suppress a groan.

He was now supporting his weight on his left elbow and his upper body was away from her torso thanks to that.

Another soft, kind of displeased, moan reached his ears and his skin scorched when his instinct told him she wasn’t happy he moved away from her. And he had the sudden impulse to comply with her silent demand…

For a couple of seconds, he stayed, unmoving as if he was frozen, with a completely blank head and speechless.

At least, for his sanity, the girl was partially covered from the waist down with his satin bed sheet. But her chest was exposed… and most of her left hip, the sheet covering precariously her most intimate part… her long, slender legs laid bare in their glorious, endless lengths…

The little round knob tickled his palm, making him well aware that he still was cupping her breast.

He retrieved his hand as if her skin just burned him. His eyes got a better view of her naked torso, inviting tummy and small waist. And, damned natural instincts, he was reacting to the sight and feel of her body!

This mortified him to no end.

Now his heart was beating too fast, rushing blood down to… Oh! He had to fight against himself in order to keep his mind clear and collected.

Who’s she? – his mind asked.

He practically has seen all of her… but he still hadn’t seen her face. And in order to answer his earlier question, he has to look at her.

He just wished it wasn’t Dorothy!

Thank goodness, the girl underneath him had peachy colored skin. She’s not as pale as Dorothy is.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

But, then, who is she?

But he was beyond mortified.

Throughout his whole experience as a gundam pilot, he found himself in very tight, difficult situations in which his life was at stake. He has seen Death in the eye so many times that he thought he grew a backbone that made him immune to any kind of fear.

How wrong he was!

He hadn’t feel as afraid as he feels now in ages! He never thought something like this could actually happen to him. Maybe to Duo, being such a flirt and all, but, definitely, not to him. Not to Quatre Raberba Winner, the refined, polite and perfect gentleman. That was just weird, and plain down improbable.

He squeezed his eyes shut again, wishing that – in doing so – he could make things go back to normal. Wishing he could open his eyes to find himself in his own room, hugging an actual pillow, fully clothed, and wondering when his gardener planted Ylang-Ylang and jasmines in his garden.

But, when he opened his eyes – ever so slowly – he got to see a set of beautiful verdant eyes in a shade so fresh and alluring that reminded him of green pastures on an early spring day.

Those eyes were looking back at him, brimming in tears of fear, and open wide in total confusion. She looked as if she was about to start crying and he didn’t like that. If tears came out of those beautiful eyes, his heart would stung, desperate to change the world so she could feel better and don’t cry. He always hated to see her cry, because it saddens him so…

"Lita?" – he whispered, tentatively.

It seemed she didn’t hear him. Her face continued to hold that scared and confused expression. Her lips were trembling now and she was blinking furiously to contain her tears. She took a sharp intake of breath and her eyes wandered her surroundings frantically. She looked as confused as he felt just a couple of minutes ago. Her eyes widened when she couldn’t recognize where she was and her bottom lip quivered when her eyes met his…

She sobbed and the sound made Quatre anxious. He reached up a hand and cupped her cheek tenderly. "Lita" – he whispered.

But his touch just sent her over the edge and she became frantic. And just before he could say something to calm her, she opened her mouth and screamed at the top of her lungs.