To: Stupid Moron #6235
Subject: you suck
Date: 11-24- 2002
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar.
I am suffering from 372 rare and deadly diseases,
poor scores on final exams,
extreme virginity,
fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution,
and guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by::
people who actually believe
that poor fucking 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.
So basically, this message is a big "FUCK YOU" to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly fucking amusing.
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Chain Letter Type 1: (the scrolling chain letter)
(scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
…No,…really….make one
Keep scrolling...
Oh please, not THAT wish. …..She’ll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
NO!! Not that wish either,…. you pervert!
STOP!!!
Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds,
you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.
� Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
� Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
� Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may start plotting to kill you
� Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
______________________________________________________________________
Chain Letter Type 2: (the money donation chain letter)
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.
You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
HE has no arms,
no legs,
no parents,
and no goats.
This little boy's life could be saved.
every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy From Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no fuckin way of counting the emails sent, and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out.
Send this to 5, 7 9 3 people in the next 47 seconds.
Oh, and a reminder -- if you only send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
Thanks again!
[RETURN TO TOP]
Chain Letter Type 3: (the "something horrible will happen" chain letter)
Hi there! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897.
Kept alive by a bunch of sad pricks with nothing better to do.
So this is how it works... pass this on to 1 5, 8 6 7 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you.
One woman who didn’t pass this on was Miranda Pinsley
She had recently received this letter and ignored it.
She was walking home from school on Saturday. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, and drowned in a lake of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.
This could happen to you!!!
Or take the story of Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was sat on by a three ton elephant just as the elephant was cutting a big ole fart………never found any pieces of him yet.
This could happen to you too!!! Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
Chain Letter Type 4: (the stupid poem chain letter)
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to all your friends.
A friend is someone who is always at your side.
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood.
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as:::
a hat full of assholes.
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, loser life.
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think :::
That you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs.
Now pass this on to 75,548 people in the next 28 seconds
If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again!