GONG XI FA CAI!
CONGRATULATIONS AND BEST WISHES FOR A
PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!
January 28, 2006: In a just a little over a week, we will have been home for two months. It feels like our trip to China was a lifetime ago and though I have read it in many other adoption journals and so it may be cliche to say it, we feel as though Eleanor has always been with us. It is funny as I think back to all the concerns I had before we went to China and all of the focus in the adoption community about how you tell your daughter that she is adopted and all of the things, good and possibly difficult, that adoption can bring to your life. All those books I read on transracial adoption and you know what keeps coming back to me? Something our cousin who adopted from China once said to me -- "you don't think about the adoption piece every day because she is just your daughter." And THAT is what I think about on a daily basis -- my daughter -- is she hungry (she still eats like a horse), does she need a nap, does her diaper need to be changed, etc. etc.
This is not to say that I have ANY idea as to what I am doing! People ask me how it feels to be a mom and I just say "like me, but with a kid" because I am not sure how it is "supposed" to feel. I did have a moment over Christmas when I was grocery shopping and looking for the ingredients for a salad that my mom used to make for my dad at Thanksgiving and Christmas. As a kid, it was always a big deal to grocery shop with my mom -- especially when I came home from college and a trip to the grocery store meant that I got lots of junk magazines and junk food. Well, I am strolling through the store and Eleanor is babbling her way along with me, when it dawns on me that here I am in the grocery store with MY daughter buying the ingredients for a dish my mom made my dad. Maybe in that moment I had a better inkling of what it feels like to be a mom!
Eleanor is doing very well. The comment we most often hear about her is: "my what a charming smile." And it really is -- I can tell you that we will do pretty much anything we can to see that smile! She is still not crawling or walking, despite the fact that her Lao Ye (grandfather) gets down and tries to show her how to crawl (for his former students reading this website, I do have photographic evidence and I can be bought)! However, why learn to crawl or walk when all you have to do is hold up your arms and we obey. I tell you, it is quite a life! At first I was worried that she was not crawling, then I went to a friend's house and saw what happens when they start to crawl . . . I am fine with the pet rock stage for now. She continues to babble, but not really say any words though she has started to imitate the dog when he barks. I am sure that Harvard will see that as a sign of early genius.
She seems to be getting her two top front teeth -- or I should say I assume that is what her sudden obsession with sticking her entire fist in her mouth must be about. At least that is my story and I am sticking to it Her favorite toys continue to be her stacking cups and the empty paper towel roll. She has just started to mimic a kiss -- again, I assume that is what the fish lips and smacking noise are about. She seems to do it after we kiss her -- hey, wait, what does that say about our kisses?
We had the pleasure of being on the other side of the Arrivals gate at O'Hare this week as we waited excitedly for our friends Beth and Pete to come through the gate with their daughter Lily! So many times through this process I have thought the only word to describe it all is "surreal." Well waiting for them to come through the gate and thinking how we were in their shoes less then two months ago and then realizing how far we had come in that time -- well, surreal. In my excitement of seeing them and thinking about our trip and all the fun that goes into getting ready and going, I thought, for a brief moment, maybe we will go back. Then I remembered the jet lag . . . it was a VERY brief moment!
Tonight we met up with most of the families we traveled with to celebrate the Chinese New Year (one family lives in Portland so they could not join us). As much as I wanted to see all the parents, I was so excited to see Eleanor's Shaoyang sisters! It was great -- all of the girls are doing wonderfully and growing like crazy! I am really looking forward to watching them grow up together -- they really are a special bunch of girls.
On a different note, one of my favorites times with Eleanor is at bedtime -- rocking her before she goes to sleep. It is one of the few times in the day when she is not squirming about trying to see what is around her or trying to reach some item that she is not supposed to have (you would think that an empty paper towel roll would be enough). Lately, as I am rocking her at night and as we near her birthday (March 5), I find myself thinking a lot about her birthparents and wondering if they had ANY inkling that the baby they left to be found would come to America? I know they cannot possibly imagine us or our life and at times that fact just stops me in my tracks. And then I wonder, because I have looked at Eleanor so much in the past two months, if I saw her birthparents on the street, would I know them? And on and on my wondering goes. I have come to realize that as much as I wonder and imagine about these people, Eleanor will likely do the same and more. I only hope that when those days come, and when the two people imagined by Eleanor are parents who would never impose a bedtime, prohibit eating candy, and would certainly never require the eating of a vegetable, that I remember my own wonderings and allow Eleanor the space to do the same without feeling scared or threatened of where that journey might lead her. Yes, the Great Adventure looks as if it will be quite a ride!
So that is it for now, we'll let you know when the next update is done! Until then, Happy New Year!
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