SHAOYANG SOCIAL WELFARE INSTITUTE
12/1: I don't really know how to write about our experience today. In many ways it is Eleanor's and not my story to tell. With that in mind, I will try to convery something about the day. Shaoyang, the city where the SWI is located, is a 3 hour drive from Changsha. Getting on the bus this morning I felt rather choked up and emotional -- as did everyone else. As I have told people, this SWI works with the Half the Sky (HTS) Foundation that is an organization founded by American adoptive parents. HTS is not able to work with a lot of orphanages, but their work is amazing and we are blessed that they are affiliated with Shaoyang. For example, they have a baby-Grandma program in which they bring in local women (not really of Grandma age) and those women hold and play with the babies from 8-12 and 2-5. Each "granny" cares for two to three children. HTS also helps the children who are not adopted by creating preschool and kindergartens. Anyway, when we got on the bus, we were told that HTS keeps records of the babies written by the granny and we would get those records and pictures. We were also told that two babies had been found with notes and we would get those notes. Eleanor was one of the babies found with a note. And finally we were given the "finding ad" which is placed in the local paper when a baby is left to be found.
Reading those docments was an amazing gift. We had a glimpse into Eleanor's first months in a way that most adoptive parents do not. We were also very pleased to find that certain personality traits that we experienced were also experienced by her granny -- for example, her granny wrote that she was born to eat and that she can be whiney when she wants to be picked up -- a trait we saw for the first time yesterday!
The city of Shaoyang has over 7.3 million people, but it looks very poverty stricken and run-down, though beautiful in its own way. The SWI has both elderly people (more then 100) and about 70 children, most of whom are special needs children. However, understand that in China, a special needs child may only be missing a finger. Most often, the special need is easily correctible. The youngest of the children is a few days old and the oldest are in their 20s and help with the younger children.
We met with the SWI Director and then toured the facility. We went to the playroom and met Eleanor's granny! Eleanor's Chinese nickname is "Yezi" and many of the grannies gathered around her -- she was obviously well-liked! In fact, we were stopped in the hall everywhere we went to the call of "Yezi" followed by a tickling of Eleanor's chin. We saw the preschool classroom and then saw where the babies slept. Then we went to lunch with the Director. After lunch, we drove by the places where the babies were left to be found.
As Americans it is difficult for us to understand the One-Child Policy (which is not really a one-child policy as there are lots of situations in which a family can have two children). It is also difficult for us to grasp a cultural history that spans centuries and places a certain value on male children because those male children ensure the survival of the parents in the absence of a social security system. Yet, it has always been clear to me that the Chinese love their children. That love and care was so evident today as we watched what was clearly a loving relationship between our babies and their caretakers. These were not women who were marking time at their jobs -- these were women who took enough time to love and comfort our children and the evidence of that care is clear to us. The fact the Eleanor is laughing and smiling and is seemingly so well-adjusted is a testament to that care.
My last moment on my soapbox (and at the risk that I will sound like a Sally Struthers informercial): if you are thinking about adoption -- DO IT NOW. Yes, the paperwork is a pain; yes, your life is examined in a way that is intrusive, but the these children need us and we need them. The babies in the SWI were incredibly well-cared for, but it is no susbtitute for a parent. What you can give to these children in terms of a chance of a life is too great of an opportunity to pass up. Do it for yourself. Now remind me of this when Eleanor is in her teen-age years and thinks that I am totally uncool! |
