Renata's Story
Psalm 144:1-2
My dear sister on the path,
We all face dragons in our lives. Maybe it is a mentally ill teen-age daughter that is out of control. Maybe it is an alcoholic, abusive parent or spouse. Maybe your dragons are those haunting reminders of your past�poltergeists of bad choices you made that still want to torment and condemn you today.
My dear sister, my life has been full of such dragons. At one point, my life was so out of control that I thought I�d totally lose my own sanity. I nearly did. I suffered a major emotional breakdown that has taken literally years to recover. I still struggle in many ways.
During those difficult, endless years, nothing, I mean nothing, in my world felt safe. God felt light-years away from me. I felt totally alone and abandoned and victimized by my circumstances. I was no stranger to emotional and physical abuse, and felt totally trapped. The people I loved the most in this life (and I thought loved me) were hurting me and abusing me. My own sanity was being eroded away, day by day. I felt totally broken in my spirit. Many times I feared for my safety�and my life.
In one of my darkest moments, I wrote this poem. I want to share it with you, in hopes that it will minister to your heart and your need. Whatever dragons you face today, there is an answer. I found mine.
To our lives has come to stay.
It stalks us daily with its moods
Upon our souls it likes to prey.
Some days, it�s gentle, meek, and kind
And woos us with its words.
It soothes us with a calming salve
And heals our frazzled nerves.
Then without warning or a chance
to prepare in any way,
The manic dragon rears its head
And changes our whole day.
Its words are damning to our soul
And cut us like a knife.
It fills our peaceful habitat
With fearfulness and strife.
It screams and yells and shakes its fist
And spits upon our face.
Our happy, peaceful, loving home
Becomes a scary place.
Our home becomes a scary place
That�s not a home at all--
A place where there�s no safety
No solace on which to call.
The dragon seems so big at times�
Much bigger than I can bear!
Dear Jesus! How will I make it?
Or do YOU even care?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He gently pulls me to Him
And assures me that He�s there.
He tells me of His life on earth
And how it was unfair.
He fought with dragons daily�
They daily forged His way.
He felt rejection, hatred, fear�
Then for our souls He�d pray.
He said, �Dear child, I slew the biggest
Dragon of them all.
One who seems so cunning--
Causes many men to fall.
The battle I fought was fiercely cruel
And seemed a total loss.
The dragon�s mighty warriors
Nailed my body to a cross.
I bled and writhed in agony
While hanging on that tree.
The dragon scoffed and mocked my name
And yelled I�d �not go free!�
Dear child, I won that victory!
I did it all for you.
Give Me your horrid dragons,
And I�ll make your life like new.
No longer will those dragons
Ever seem so big again.
Let Me fight your battles�
And I guarantee we�ll win.
Give Me all the dragons
That you battle with at night
I�ll replace them with My burden�
It�s easy and it�s light.
I promise a sufficiency
Of My unending grace.
I promise you a rest in storm,
A blessed hiding place.
Give me each tomorrow
As I walk with you today.
I�ll hold you close
And keep you safe
As we walk the pilgrim way.
Renata
