A Bouquet From My Heart...
He used to come to me with flowers in his hands he'd pulled from a nearby yard, a love offering, or peace offering, I'd soon find out. He came wearing a dirty face, and a smirkish grin, and those big gorgeous blue eyes looking at me, then to his feet... No matter what, I thought or felt at the time - even when I knew he'd been up to some mischief - he'd steal my heart and make me so glad that he was mine. I loved him like no one else!
When he was young, we were close and we were friends. There was nothing we couldn't talk about. We felt comfortable around one another and things were wonderful. It was I, not his dad, who shared the secrets of love and life with him when he was ready to learn.
When he was in his teens he went away - out of the country with his dad and their family while his dad was serving in the military. During that time, we drifted apart, phone calls were expensive and he was never a letter writer. Thankfully, his step mom and I kept in touch, and my prayers were never far from him.
Now he lives across the country with his wife and the five grandsons I have never met. I don't hear from him on Mother's Day, my birthday or Christmas, but now and then he will call when he needs a mom to tell him what he needs to hear rather than what he wants to hear. At times like that we chat for hours and it seems we've never been apart. But then time goes by and I don't hear from him for weeks and months despite my calls and messages left to him.
Then I remember the little boy with the dirty face that brought me flowers sometimes when he wanted to distract me from the trouble he knew was on its way, but most of the time it was his sweet, tender way to say "I love you, Mom". Along with those flowers came big bear hugs that almost took my breath away.
So today as I recall that little boy and wish with all my heart I could see the man he's grown to be, my heart breaks for all that was, for what could have been, and what still could be. And I pray and hope that someday soon he will miss me as much as I miss him and pick up the phone... Maybe today?
Father,
I look to you for guidance and grace. Lead this son you gave me so long ago to come back to you and serve you as he did in his youth. Protect him from the world that wants to suck him in and keep him from You.
On those days when his heart is confused and he is not sure where to turn, direct him I pray. Whisper to his heart the love You have for him and remind him of the Mother who loves and misses him desperately.
I yearn to hold my grandsons and know them as more than voices over the phone, or pictures received in the mail. I want to teach them about You as I did their dad so long ago. I regularly reminded of my love, and in their innocent way, I know they love me too. Three thousand miles is a long way off, but You can bridge the gap. Father - bring us together once again, I pray. Work things out for their good and if it be in your will, allow them to move closer so once again I can be the mama he brought flowers to so very long ago.
I'm the mama who will always love him and miss him, no matter how long the distance and the time... Flowers of love are sent to him from my heart right now. Will You deliver them with a kiss and a hug from me, dear Lord? Remind him of Mama who loves and misses him more than she can say?
In Jesus' precious name I ask it,
Amen.
Love,
Jeannie, PTL
The music you are listening to is entitled "Gentle Love"
by
Bruce DeBoer
