O, no no no, Bobby Jindal, you did not just say that! Oh, snap! Going, going, douchebag nothing-like Gandhi!

Fellow bobbleheads of the Conan and Rachel Maddow type will recognize that bit from a few years ago when Hillary made some comment about Gandhi owning a 7/11. This, of course, pre-Macaca.

Ah, Bobby Jindal. How do we dump on the man? Let us count the ways:

1) Loooooooooooooseeanna! Soo-ee! Where Huey Long's not dead, he just stuffed an' put on de mantle!

2) Louisiana is French. Sorry, but it sucks. It's a fun place to be but it's boggy and sappy and the people eat too much.

3) New Orleans is great as the mouth of the Mississippi but that's about it. Gimme Savannah o'er it any day of the week for real Southron weirdness.

4) The dude took his name from The Brady Bunch. Seriously. Was he that stupid as to sit there with his eyes glued to the tube in the early Seventies and do nothing else? Sheesh. Maybe there really was something wrong with people born in the Nixon Administration. Bad DNA.

5) Inverse/reverse/perverse -- okay, the GOP trotted him out to be the mirror to Obama. Gen-X, brown, outside-the-box, whatever. Fine. That doesn't mean he's not a douchenozzle. What's great in this day and age is that men and women of all races, creeds, colors, orientations, and brand loyalties are able to make it to the top and fuck up just as badly as our bumbling idiot forefathers did before us and them. That's the beauty of America. Even the dumbfucks get a chance to try (and fail, with all due haste and luck, because this is, after all, a fully functioning rock 'n roll democracy, and a market body politic at that).

6) He's short. Severe Napoleon complex. Sorry to say but it's sometimes true.

7) The exorcism thing. No, really. In this day and age? C'mon, dude. I know voodoo is the fad down there but it ain't the real Haitian stuff; it's American voodoo, just a tourist trap with fries on the side.

8) Bad Injun! (Seriously, gotta love the ability in this day and age to make fun of all our silly stupid stereotypes. We are a deliciously funny melting pot, this land of ours).

9) Palin-Jindal 2012!!! The GOP might just be clueless enough to go for it. And they'll get their asses handed to 'em on a platter. It'd be good, though. Sacrificial lambs. Then the next time around they can run a mixed sex/ethnic ticket consisting of people who actually have brains.

10 ) Obama would beat his scrawny little ass in a pickup game of b-ball any day of the week.