(with kudos to Rabbi Sherwin Wine)
Hypocrisy is human. (1999)
Populism, not popularity. (2000)
"Didn't Hitler's Mommy Ever Hug Him? A Psychobiography". (2001)
Summer is the weekend of the year. (2004)
It is a great day to be an Anglo American. (2004)
Jews are the spice of life. (2005)
I would ten thousand times rather have gone to a small liberal arts college in Ohio than through a military-industrial-complex diploma mill in Michigan. (Or would I?) (2005)
Government is half science and half gambling. (2005)
THE PRAYER
A: Glory to God
B: Hallelujah,
C: Prince of Peace.
D: Kingdom on Earth,
E: No wormwood.
F: Morningstar,
G: Tetragrammaton.
1: Rolling stone,
2: Strolling bones.
3: Rainbow. (2005)
Life is a line, a circle and a square. (2007)
American alchemy: we turn shit into gold. (2007)
For every "Lord of the Flies", there's a "Butterfly Revolution." (2007)
When all else fails, use the sword of Damocles to cut the Gordian knot. (2007)
Selling snake oil is a time-honored American tradition. (2007)
Never get fooled by the Beatles. They were only the waypoint between the majestic insanity of the early Sun recordings and the insane majesty of Led Zeppelin. (2008)
Mel Brooks is my tummler; Lou Reed, my cantor; and Karl Marx and Ayn Rand duke it out for rabbinical duties in the temple of my mind. (2008)
Nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine are the necessary evils for a truly intellligent brain. (2008)
Christianity is cowardly and childish. (2008)
The Elements of Style are puerile. (2008)
Americanese is infinitely more malleable than English. (2008)
A house should look lived in. (2008)
Methodism is marshmallow Christianity. (2008)
There's a little bit of Hitler in all of us. (2008)
The further West you go, the weirder it gets. (2008)
Music is magick. (2008) Money is a necessary evil. (2008) Disbelieve everything. (2008) Goyische means gullible. (2008) One man's propaganda is another's intellectual manna. (2009) I have World War II in my veins. (2009) Everyone who lives within shouting distance of the Great Lakes has tinnitus (2009) Christianity is Judaism, Jnr. (2009) Anything that goes into or comes out of the human body is or can be made funny. (2009) Mormonism is American Judaism.(2009) Smart people see atoms; stupid people don't. (2009) The Bible is a good book. But it is not the only good book. (2009) Every human being is a leech (2009) Mormonism and Mohammedanism are the leech religions. (2009) Memphis is the place where two Kings, the only Kings Americans have ever allowed themselves, died: Elvis and Martin. (2009) In college one can be one of three things: a Bad Ass, a Bull Shitter, or a Bowel Movement. (2009) Xianity is nothing more than McDonald's for the masses. Which is not entirely a bad thing, mind you. The smart Semites shall rule the gullible goyim, as it were. (2009)