Adam Writing for the 21st Century
Play Ms. Gokturk
Characters: Avery Mann (Male Caucasian, age 18)
Apu … (Indian, age 18)
Avery’s Mother
Dean Wermer (Middle aged, Dean of Faber University, distinguished)
Frank Wally (African-American, Age 18)
Scene 1 –
Friday Afternoon
Setting: Young Mans room, Spartan, bed, desk, phone on desk, no apparent luxuries, Door Slams.
Avery: (Enters Stage Right holding wearing backpack and jacket and holding envelope. Moves to Center Stage, throws backpack then jacket wearing (T-Shirt underneath) on bed and opens envelope. Silently reads contents, methodically folds paper and inserts back into envelope. Shouting) DAMN!
Avery’s Mother: (Offstage)Avery, what’s the matter?
Avery: (Angrily) I didn’t get it.
Avery’s Mother: I’m so sorry honey. We were all hoping for this just as much as you were. You’re in the top five percent of your class and Student Council President. Aren’t there any other options?
Avery: Not for a guy like me. (Shows arms. Climbs into bed.)
Scene 2 – Saturday Morning
Setting: (Video Game SFX
can be heard. Apu’s
game room equipped with luxurious couch center stage and a computer is stage
left. Background scenery has illustrated pool table and jukebox and clock is on
wall indicating
Avery: (Wearing different clothes than in first scene, Enters Stage Right) Hey, Apu.
Apu: Hey, man, what’s up? I’ll switch to two players after I die. You want anything to drink?
Avery: Nah (dejected). Unless you got some hemlock!
Apu: Nah, I don’t like Thai food.
Avery: (Shakes his head in mock disgust) “Beware the barrenness of a
busy life.”
Apu: (Turn’s his head) What the hell are you talking about? (Lost life in game SFX) Aw man, now look what you made me do.
Avery: Socrates man…Didn’t you do the reading?
Apu: What reading?
Avery: The two chapters we have due Monday.
Apu: Dude, isn’t that what Sunday’s are for?
Avery: Pssshh, move over and lemme play.
(Both have controllers now and are obviously playing video game
together)
Apu: So why you so down?
Avery: I
didn’t get the academic achievement Scholarship at
Apu: That sucks, man. Aren’t there any other scholarship programs?
Avery: Only one, and it’s for minority applicants only.
Apu: (Excited and Jokingly) Hey like me!
Avery: (Slowly turns head away from TV, toward Apu. SFX of character dying in game. Avery slowly moves head up and down to look
at Apu.)
Apu: (Still playing) Hey, what happened to your guy? (Turns toward Avery, same SFX as before plays, and gives him a bewildered look) Are you checking me out or something?
Avery: Maybe I am, but not in that way.
Apu: Where you going with this?
Scene 3 – Saturday Afternoon
Setting: Clock indicates 5:46 PM Still Apu’s game room except Avery is typing on his computer and both are seated.
Avery: Alright,
so I just downloaded the Initiative for a Diverse Environment Scholarship
Application. Now Avery Mann is going to
become Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. (Reading off of computer) “The
Initiative for a Diverse Environment Scholarship Program was created in 1983 to
encourage underrepresented minority students to consider their future at
Apu: In
English?
Avery: They’re saying that they have tons of Avery Manns applying to Faber but they really would like an Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.
Apu: So
what do I havta do?
Avery: Just tell me all you know about your heritage and what
it’s like to be a underrepresented minority.
Apu: So
you mean that Faber wants your brains but my background?
Avery: Exactly. Alright,
so you tell me everything you know and I’ll wham em’
with an essay that they’ll never expect from the new Avery Mann.
Apu: But
once you get in aren’t they going to suspect something?
Avery: No way. It’s all
a numbers game. The only thing the
school cares about is having the right percentage of different backgrounds so
they can claim themselves as diverse. As
far as this goes I will just become another statistic to them and will be able
to take whatever courses I want, regardless of race so long as I am in.
Apu: Like he is telling a reminiscent story he
looks toward the ceiling)It
all began in a tiny one bedroom hut in
Avery: I thought you were born at
Apu: Quiet
I’m on a roll.
Scene 4 –
Sunday Afternoon
Setting: Same as 1st scene. Avery is talking on the phone.
Avery: …5,7,13,16 and 24 (pause) Yep that’s all the homework. (pause) I’m
supposed to find out today (pause)
Yea I hope so too…alright I gotta get off the line so
they can tell me about how fantastic it’ll be to have the new Avery Mann at
Faber University. (Hangs
up phone, paces a bit in his room. Phone rings.) Hello. (pause) this is
Avery (long pause) (nervously surprised)Oh wow, um, thanks.
(pause) No No I'm very excited thank you so much. (pause) Alright I’ll see you there thank you. (hangs up phone but
picks it right up again to call Apu) Dude I made
it to the next step for the Scholarship (pause)
Yea yea hold your
congratulations till you hear what the next step is. They want me to give a speech among ten other
finalists so they can judge who is most deserving. (pause) If I fake sick they’ll gladly give it to someone
else.
Avery’s Mom: (shouting from offstage)
Avery, dinner.
Avery: I gotta go talk to ya later.
Scene 5 –
Monday Afternoon
Setting: Both kids walk into Apu’s game room with backpacks and jackets on. The clock reads
Avery: We’re dead! We
are so freakin’ dead.
Apu: Calm
down dude.
Avery: (panicking) Calm down! It’s over! Done! Finito!
Hasta la Vista Baby!
Apu: They don’t know what Avery Mann looks like. Why can’t I pretend that I am you at the
speech?
Avery: Hey that’s not a bad idea.
Apu: See,
I’m more than just eye candy (winks).
Avery: Alright so you have a suit for the banquet tomorrow?
Apu: Yea yea I got it.
Avery: Ok I’ll write your speech then. I’m gonna leave it
here so you can practice it a couple of times but once again don’t worry we
already won them over with the essay now once they get a good look at you I
think we’ll be in the zone.
Scene 6 –
Tuesday Evening
Setting: One round table set for six is on the stage
and is set with white linen tablecloth, candles, fine glassware, plates and
silverware. Apu,
in a suit, is center stage standing next to Avery, also in a suit.
Avery: Great job. I couldn’t
have done it better myself.
Apu: Hey thanks! Aight, scatter. Dean Wermer is coming. (Avery leaves center stage and goes behind
and sits down in a seat at the table. He
is pretending to keep himself busy as to stay unnoticed. Dean Wermer enters
from stage right.)
Dean
Wermer: (Speaking very haughty, overemphasizing syllables) Avery my boy,
well done! I think you’ll be a smash hit
at our prestigious university! We’ve
been looking a long time for an individual such as yourself. What a fascinating background. You will add much to our campus
diversity.
Apu: Thank
you very much Dean.
Dean
Wermer: You know, while
reviewing your application I noticed that you are in Student Council. I don’t know if you are aware but I believe
your faculty advisor Oswald Rackenbush is a Faber
Alumnus.
Apu: Oh, um yea he’s a, uhh,
swell guy. (Avery overhears and in a
panic jumps out of his seat and stands behind Dean Wermer
who is unaware of him but so Apu can see his
actions.)
Dean
Wermer: Tell me, what has he
been up to lately?
Apu: (Avery swings
an imaginary golf club) Oh he’s actually been playing a lot of golf.
Dean
Wermer: Golf! Capital sport. Although I could never see
Oswald in the game. How well does
he play? What have his scores been?
Apu: (Avery holds up
eight fingers) Oh about eight.
Dean
Wermer: (Incredulously) Eight?!
Apu: (Avery is now frantically
showing eight fingers then making zeros with both his hands) I mean eight hundred.
Dean
Wermer: (Even more incredulously) EIGHT HUNDRED!! DEAR GOD!
Apu: (Avery frantically is now
flashing between eight fingers and making a zero with only one hand.) Oh I’m so sorry sir I meant
to say eighties.
(Entering
from stage right is Frank Wally, an old camp friend of Avery’s. He is dressed in a suit and is clearly
another contestant.)
Frank: Avery Mann! How are
you buddy? I
haven’t seen you since
Avery: Uh could we do this another time dude?
Dean
Wermer: (Turns toward Avery and Frank) Excuse me. Did you say YOUR name is Avery Mann?
Avery: Uh, um, ehhhh.
Frank: Sure this is Avery Mann. (Turns toward Avery) But this scholarship really isn’t for you anyways. What are you doing here?
Dean
Wermer: What on earth is
going on here?
Scene 7 –
Tuesday Evening
Setting: Back at Apu’s gameroom. Apu is spawled on the couch. Avery is at the computer. Their ties are pulled down and shirts are
unbuttoned at the neck. Their jackets
are thrown on the floor.
Apu: So what do we do now?
Avery: I dunno. Dean Wermer knows
all about everything. He knows I am
Avery Mann and that I’m not a minority.
And I know there is no chance in hell that I am ever in my lifetime
going to
Apu: Yea but you’re a smart kid. There’s gotta be
somewhere else.
Avery: Hey I just downloaded a Scholarship Application to
Apu: Hey that’s a great school!
Avery: Yea but I only make the deadline for one scholarship and
it’s directed toward women only.
Apu: Well I guess that shuts you out of the picture.
Avery: Although, the application only requires some forms, an
essay, and a picture. Hey Apu, where’s your mom keep her makeup?
Apu: NOOOOOOO!!!!!! (Stage
goes black)