This page is dedicated in loving memory to our
son, Chris, who left us at the age of twenty four years old, whom we loved
dearly and miss so much. Around twenty-two years old he developed
mental illness, like 40 million other people in America. What kind?
Schizophrenia. How did he die? He took his own life. You say that could
never happen to us? Don't be too sure. It would be most tragic, if he
is forgotten, because we can learn from his life, and his death. Maybe
someone coming by this page knows of one that is struggling with
despair, hopelessness, depression, mental illness and thoughts of
suicide. Or maybe that someone is you! We would love to see something
good, come out of all of our sorrow. It is our hope, that it helps
someone, who finds himself or herself, in the same way, before it is
too late. Chris and his family have a message for you. This is the
purpose of publishing Chris' Memory Page. So stop with us a little
while, and who knows, you may learn a little something to help someone
else, or maybe even yourself. Whoever you are, this is our prayer for
you today.
CHRIS' FAMILY
Chris
shared a happy childhood with, Scott, his
older brother and Ryan, his younger brother
"ALL GROWN UP"
Graduation Day For Younger Brother, Ryan
What was Chris like....
"Chris Loved The Colorado Mountains"
He loved his family, especially his nieces and
nephew. He took special time in selecting Christmas gifts for the
family. We shall never forget the last gifts that he gave, a toy piano
for Sara, and a toy guitar for Cody. He bought show tickets for the
family to attend the theater. We will always treasure those memories.
"Christmas With The Family"
Sara will always remember those special talks she
had with her Uncle Chris, in the back yard while he was swinging her.
She had a growing relationship with her Uncle as one can see, when she
fell asleep next to him. I remember once she had asked him why boys
would chew on chewing tobacco. He felt special that she would ask him
those kind of questions. A special memory Cody has is playing Chess
with his Uncle Chris. He got to hold baby Reonna and see how beautiful
she was, and we know he can also see precious little McKayla from
Heaven.
"One Of Those Special Talks With Sara"
"Chris With His Niece, Sara, At A Special Moment"
"Chris With His Only Nephew, Cody"
"Special
Guitar Gift From Uncle Chris"
"Chris Playing With His Niece, Reonna"
Chris enjoyed spending time in the Colorado
mountains with his Dad, brothers, and friends. He liked fishing, back
packing, hiking, trail bike riding, skiing, boating, and most of all,
four wheeling in his jeep. Chris was a very kind hearted, easy going,
fun loving person, a loyal friend to many, well liked, and loved by his
peers. His second love was music. Even when he was young, he played the
leading role in a children's play, and did it quite well. He loved
playing the bass and lead guitar and drums, too. He told me, that he
had a deep desire to be used of God, in playing music. Chris loved to
"jam", with his cousin, brother, and several close friends. He enjoyed
youth soccer, Jr. High basketball, golfing, racquetball and was on the
High School golf team. He was part of a boy's church program called,
Royal Rangers, a program like Boy Scouts, for many years, and was part
of a church youth group through his High School years. Chris took
special care to be involved in the lives of many people and he found
honor, in being a responsible and self-sufficient person. Chris was a
vital part of his family, cherished by each member. He worked with his
Dad, in a family business, that processed meat, specializing in deer
and elk processing, at hunting season. He was a hard worker, and
faithful participant. No more of a faithful son, could he be.
"Four Wheelin" With Pat, Sky & Mike"
"One Of The Things Chris Enjoyed Most"
"Chris and Cousin Tim, Workin' On A Song"
"Chris, Jammin' With His Friends"
"A Proud Moment For Dad and Chris"
THINGS TO CONSIDER IF YOU HAVE A LOVED ONE THAT
YOU SUSPECT MIGHT BE SUICIDAL AND WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED
Always,
take it very seriously, when suicide is mentioned, even if it is said,
while one is intoxicated. Often, that is when the true thoughts are
expressed. That is also, when Chris was able to complete his suicide,
while he was severely intoxicated.
Ask
their friends, how they are doing. Often, they know before the parents.
Don't,
wonder if they are thinking about it. ASK OPENLY! It will not, make
them more prone to think about it, or do it. Talk about it!
When
they are suicidal, they should not be left alone for an extended period
of time, until they are not suicidal anymore.
When
you have knowledge that they are suicidal, a true friend encourages
them to contact a suicide prevention program to get help, and lets him
know that it would be devastating to those who love him, and that it is
not the solution. If you are not family, contact their family. IF THEY
WILL NOT GET HELP,ON THEIR OWN, THEN PROFESSIONAL HELP MUST BE
CONTACTED AND AN INTERVENTION MUST BE DONE,TO PROTECT THEM FROM
THEMSELF!!
As
family, acknowledge that it is more than you can handle. Contact GOOD
professional help early.
Don't
make the mistake, of thinking this could never happen to us. It can.
As
parents, we teach our children to make good decisions. However, if they
make bad choices, help them find their way back. God forgives, if you
ask. So encourage them to also forgive themselves!
THINGS WE COULD HAVE DONE BETTER
Chris'
Psychiatrist failed him. Psychotherapy was never recomended for Chris. This would have helped him deal with his diagnosis and enabled his Dr. to detect his despair. Chris had called him for a change in his
anti-psychotic medication. He was having severe side effects of fatigue
with the drug, Zyprexa, and felt very sedated. His Dr. wouldn't change
it, giving him no hope. He also failed to detect that Chris was
suicidal, and failed to diagnose his depression.
The
Clergy could have done better, Chris had left phone messages but they
never got together.
We,
Chris's parents, could have done better. We will always feel if we
would have been more knowledgeable about his mental illness, we would
have done things differently. Chris mentioned suicide twice while he
was intoxicated. We failed to see that he could carry it out while
intoxicated. But he did. We didn't protect Chris from himself. We also
feel that it is also true that a parent or person could have done all
the right things and still, your loved one completed suicide. Please,
know that you did all you could do.
Some
of Chris's friends could have done better. They knew he had suicidal
tendencies, but did not take him seriously. BE A FRIEND, "TELL A
SECRET, SAVE A FRIEND!"
DANGEROUS FRIENDS AND DRUG ABUSE........
SOME CHOICES CHRIS MADE & AND SOME HE DIDN'T MAKE
Chris,
and most all of his friends, smart college kids too, I might add,
abused alcohol and illegal substances: marijuana, cocaine, LSD,
mushrooms, and worst of all, in my opinion, ECSTASY. The National
Institute of Mental Health has done research involving the connection
between Ecstasy and Schizophrenia. For unknown reasons some people seem
more predisposed to Schizophrenia who have abused some illegal
substances like Ecstasy. While it is true that Chris made these
choices, often young adults experiencing early symptoms of
Schizophrenia will abuse substances because of the troubling symptoms
that are beginning to surface. That is possibly why Chris began to
abuse drugs, starting at around sixteen years old. We do know, after he
began to have outward symptoms, he would "self-medicate", especially
with alcohol, to be able to cope with the symptoms of Schizophrenia. Chris also suffered from things that he had no choice or control over. He suffered from, what is called "night terror dreams" ever since he was very young. We don't know why. He also became delusional toward the end, when he was suffering from Schizophrenia the worst. At times he could not distinguish between what was real and what was not. He was also hearing voices. The greatest thing we regret is that we failed to ask him what the voices were telling him.!!! Ask what the voices are saying, so you know what he is dealing with.
Educate
yourselves and your children with the facts and dangers of
experimentation with illegal drugs. We will never know for sure if that
is what caused Chris's Schizophrenia. Tell me, WHY WOULD ANYONE TAKE A
CHANCE LIKE THAT, AND ABUSE ILLEGAL DRUGS!! MAYBE THAT IS WHY THEY ARE
ILLEGAL!!! THINK ABOUT IT!!!! TALK ABOUT IT!!!!
THE SPIRITUAL PART
Chris
accepted Jesus Christ as his personal saviour at a young age. His
brother reminded me how when they were young, they led a neighbor boy
in prayer to receive Jesus. Chris was raised in a Christian family,
attending an Evangelical Church every Sunday. Attendance does not
assure one of Eternal Life, but a personal relationship with Jesus,
recognizing His Death, Burial and Resurrection and inviting Him into
ones heart and life does. Romans 10:9 says that, "If you confess with
your mouth, Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised
him from the dead, you will be saved". Also, knowing that it is by His
grace that we receive eternal life, not because of any good we think we
have done. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For it is by grace you have been
saved, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of
God, not by works, so that no one can boast." We have never doubted
that Chris is with the Lord, and that gives us peace. If your loved one
has completed suicide and you were not sure of their relationship with
God, please, be assured, that all it would have taken, was for them to
cry out to Jesus, as the man on the cross next to Jesus, saying "Jesus,
remember me, when you come into your kingdom." And Jesus said, "I
promise you, TODAY, you will be with me in paradise!" Luke 23:42-43
What a beautiful example of the Grace of God!!!
Chris
can no longer speak for himself, so we will speak for him, we believe
he would be pleased. If he could give you that are in despair a
message, we believe it would be this.....DON'T DO IT! KEEP FIGHTING IT!
ASK FOR HELP! THIS WILL PASS! We believe if he had the choice again he
would reverse it. BUT HE CAN'T! CHERISH LIFE, IT IS A GIFT OF GOD!...
NEVER, give up HOPE for a cure for mental illness, new treatments,
improved medications with fewer side effects. No one knows when new
discoveries will be made. Chris's life and death is not in vain, if we
can learn from it and help prevent others who may find themselves in a
similar situation and take different steps than his life
took.......That is the purpose of Chris's Place. It is also our prayer
that one who doesn't know Christ will happen on to this web page and
will be persuaded to consider taking steps to get to know Jesus as your
own personal saviour.
"For
God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever
believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
For
there is one God and one mediator between God and Men, the man Christ
Jesus." 1Timothy 2:5
"For
Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous,
to bring you to God." 1 Peter 3:18
"Here
I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens
the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." Revelation
3:20
If
you are moved by God's words, please, respond, ask Him to forgive you
of your sins, invite Him into your life, mean it and he will come.
Could we encourage you to read the Bible, starting in the New Testament
with the book of John and find a good church and begin your spiritual
journey with the support of other Christians.
THANK YOU FOR VISITING CHRIS' PLACE
IT IS OUR PRAYER THAT CHRIS' LIFE AND DEATH MADE
A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR LIFE!
Goodbye Chris
It's time to say goodbye, to someone that I
love, But my heart hides from the pain, Say it isn't so, I wasn't ready
for him to go. And now it's time to say goodbye
Goodbye to a brother and a son, Goodbye to Uncle and a friend, Goodbye
Chris until we meet again, I will hold you in my heart
I know now you are free, From all your pain, I know now you are free,
For all eternity, In a place that knows your name, Jesus is waiting
there, With His arms open wide, Welcoming you to come inside
Hello to a brother and a son, Hello to uncle and a friend, Hello Chris,
I've been waiting for you, Because you held me in your heart
The Father has a plan, Though it's hard to understand, Trust in Him and
You'll see, It's not up to you, And it's not up to me. Trust in Him and
say goodbye, Goodbye to a brother and a son, Goodbye to Uncle and a
friend, Goodbye Chris until we meet again, I will hold you in my heart.
The
Bright Side was created as a means of support - whether
you are dealing with depression, grief, suicide, mental illness,
emotional crisis, or are just feeling overwhelmed with life, you are
not alone! We all go through difficult periods in our lives, when
everyday life feels like it's just too much to bear. A little support
can go a long way towards helping us cope - and that is what The
Bright Side is all about. On The
Bright Side website you will find educational materials,
articles by top experts, personal stories, and other resources to help
you cope with depression, grief, suicide, or whatever mental or
emotional difficulty you or your loved one may be experiencing.
PLEASE..... SIGN & VIEW CHRIS'
GUEST BOOK, WE LOVE HEARING FROM YOU !!!
