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| My Sweet Little Jordyn, I cannot help but weep for you, probably more for myself than for you, I guess mostly for us and what we can never have. I decided after your brother was born that I would be happy to have a house full of boys, I don't think that I was lying to myself--but how cruel to be teased with a little girl, only to have you torn away from me before I could even know you. I guess that we had a longer relationship than anyone else. As you grew inside of me, we got to know a lot about each other. You were so very active right up until you were born. I am grateful for our time together, although five months wasn't nearly enough....no amount of time ever could be "enough". I miss you every day of my life. I suppose that I should be grateful for what we had and try to focus on the positive, I AM grateful for what we shared, but I can't help but think about what we won't have together, things that we will never share. I will never be able to put your hair up in pig-tails, (I know that you would have beautiful blond curls), I will never be able to buy you your first Barbie, Never will I help you get ready for your first date or be able to listen to the sound of your teenage friends talking about boys and school. You will never go to a Prom or have a wedding day. I will never be able to comfort you the first time a boy breaks your heart (I am sure that would be while your Daddy was out hunting him down!) I know that our relationship is special, but it is heartbreaking to think of these things that other mothers and daughters have that we will not. Trevor misses you so much, and so does everybody! I know that you watch over him while he sleeps. He talks about you all of the time and tells me that he misses you and wishes that you were able to come home. He sends you balloons and buys you little things constantly. I am so sad for him....not to have the chance to be a big brother to you--not in the "normal" sense anyway. Please know, sweetheart, that we all miss you! Mommy and Daddy and Trevor and everyone else love you and we will never, ever forget you! |
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| You are listening to "Butterfly Kisses" | ||||||||||||||||||||