June 7, 05 Tuesday
Joseph��s
speaking:
Breathe in��
Breathe out��
Breather in��
Breathe out��
��
Usually, at night, I was still in a big rush, bothered by
msn, e-mails, online diaries, etc.
I should just switch off everything and spend some quality time to
meditate.
I
haven��t written diaries for 2 weeks.
2 weeks seems a long time.
Today, I woke up at
8:30am. I originally planned to wake up at
5am to first do
devotion and reading, then go to school to swim and go to take a driver��s
written test and afterwards study till my classes. Given that I got up tired at 8:30am and
have wasted 3.5hrs, I��d better wake up earlier with the same tiredness and have
a full, more meaningful and productive day. Having a good start of the day is
powerful and advantageous. But, I
shouldn��t make it an excuse. I
should do my best at all times for the Lord, amen.
I
felt v. weird without my regular daily prayer and bible reading. God is my strength. I love the Lord. But my love isn��t pure. I need God��s
healing.
These 2 weeks, my Health Psychology class taught about
eating disorders, pain, etc. I
suddenly realized why we saints of God were commanded by Him to live as
strangers on earth and to always live/persevere in the living hope of salvation
and eternal life in the presence of God among immense sufferings. I didn��t understand before. My life is comfortable and materially
rich, without any sufferings. If I
just focus on my own life, I feel my life to be easy and pretty perfect and I
enjoy it. These 2 weeks, I looked
at many cases of suffering. I felt
pain in my heart. Unbearable
sufferings�� I prayed that those who
are suffering can come to God as soon as possible, as I believed God��s peace is
sufficient to bring them surpassing joy.
I also prayed God��s kingdom will come as soon as possible to end all
sufferings as a result of sins that corrupt our world. As I take a macro perspective, this
world is imperfect, painfully and heart-breakingly imperfect. There are many who are suffering by
natural, uncontrollable causes e.g. innate illness, born abnormality, born in a
warring countries, etc. I felt my
deepest sympathy for them. There
are many who induce upon themselves preventable sufferings (1) e.g. smoking, dieting, grumbling,
etc. I pray that I can train up
myself to be of noble use in God��s plan of saving more people,
amen.
People with eating disorder (ED), because of their
insecurity and lack of self-worth and without the knowledge of God, as time goes
on, fell into a deep self-delusion.
Self-delusion�� We, who are
without eating disorder, feel sympathy of them. But, are we any better? Integrity, harmony in heart�� We, who think ourselves to be normal,
are just as sick as them! People
with ED, out of self-worth and insecurity, base their value wrongly on body
image, with compulsive eating.
Where then do we, without ED, base our value on? Status, money, entertainment, materially
rich lifestyle, sex, marriage, dating, fame��? Do we have compulsive money thoughts,
sexual thoughts, envy, jealousy, anger��?
Don��t think yourself to be normal.
We are all sick with sins.
There��s no harmony in our heart and there��s no integrity. Without God��s gospel of healing, we��ll
all be worn down by our sins and disorder inside our
hearts.
Self-delusion and lack of integrity�� We all have
heard
Sow a thought, reap an
action;
Sow an action, reap a habit;
Sow a habit, reap a
character��
In our life, we need to be extremely careful about our
standard of right and wrong. We
can��t tolerate any little distortions.
If it��s wrong, say it wrong immediately even though we feel not
good. It��s a habit-building. The more moral mistakes we
make/tolerate, the deeper we fall into a self-delusion and a
integrity-breakdown. In my life, I
observed 1 terrible thing, grieve my heart to the painest. I have seen some church attendees,
having been to church for decades, v. familiar with God��s words and can recite
passages at will, because of tolerating a distortion of God��s truth, fell into
deep self-delusion. They can teach
you Bible passages while committing adultery, injustice in business, etc at the
same time without knowing it themselves.
I believe this habit/delusion started to develop since youth, as I
observed some young adult Christians allowing distortions/double standard in
their life. As time goes on, the
self-delusion will fully grown into a beast and kill
them.
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life by
deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbour bitter envy and
selfish ambition in your hearts, do not
boast about it or deny the truth.
Such ��wisdom�� des not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual,
of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition,
there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is
first of all pure; then peaceloving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and
good fruit, impartial and sincere.
Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of
righteousness.
James 3:13-18
I
have noticed 2 patterns where Christians/people set off their way into
self-delusion/destruction. First,
people distort the truth (Caution:
many distort the truth by being irrational. But a significant number also use
seem-to-be-so-reasonable reasons e.g. I need to leave this church because God
calls me to serve in another church, my case in dating is v. complicated and
special, God��s instruction of love in 1Corinthians
13 or my pastor couldn��t help me, etc). Second, people are hostile to rebuke and correction. They become close-minded and spend most
of their time around those who have sweet flattering talk, approving their wrong
deeds. Self-delusion then starts to
build up as a vicious cycle habit, leading them to destruction. It��s scary. But everyone, in God, is a conqueror,
not because how good he/she is, but because he/she has surrender his/her rule of
life to God completely, and can overcome evil with
good.
Everyone in Christ need to examine and purify one��s heart
everyday.
My today��s schedule:
1.
resume
workshop
2.
class
3.
bible
study
How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your
word.
Psalm 119:9
1. The preventability is a continuum ranging from ��almost
cannot prevent�� to ��should have easily prevented��. The former refers to those born in a
hard background. The people in the
former end deserve more sympathy and have relatively less responsibility than
the people in the latter, though we shouldn��t be harsh as both of them still
deserve equal encouragement.
May13, 05(Friday)
May 13, 05
Friday
1.
read
2.
run
3.
fellowship
4.
home
I��m
back!
(long time haven��t organized
my homepage)
Joseph��s now reading Spiritual Maturity by J. Oswald Sanders. The first chapter analyzes Romans
8:28 ��And we know that in all things God works for the good of
those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.�� Joseph��s also currently reading Every Young Woman��s
Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart,
and Body in a Sex-Saturated World by Stephen Arterburn (check this out: http://www.newlife.com/EveryMansBattle/),
and of course his dear The Psychology of
Health and Health Care: A Canadian Perspective by Gary Poole. Joseph hopes to achieve an A+
performance to boost his frail morale.
Joseph prayed that he
will embrace his lack of wisdom with humility and a full rule by God Almighty.
The next books Joseph wants to read will be church
history, family studies/social work/counselling, and philosophy of
religion.
Today, Joseph went running. He hasn��t run for almost 9 months! He enjoyed it v. much. Joseph��s planning to exercise more
consistently and get back to a regular, healthy sleeping habit as his physique
was getting weaker and weaker.
Sometimes he felt not enough energy, e.g. he has to stand for 3 hours
when teaching ESL, and his muscles ached because of a lack of movement. That��s all for the sake of serving more
energetically and powerfully.
Fellowship is great: Jackson & Annie, Janice, Gary, Jane,
Mon, Dorothy, Anita, Andrew, Vincent, Jermyn and Joseph. Joseph prayed that each of us will live a life of love and
practise hospitality to one another and save more for God,
amen.
Today��s devotion: And we know that in all things God works for the good�K Romans
8:28
First, we need to be sure that
this priceless promise apply with 2 conditions: 1) he/she who lives a life
(attitude + deeds) of loving God (a voluntary personal decision) and 2) he/she
who is elect by God (every one of us is).
��In
all things�� means good things and bad things: business boom and bust,
cancer, unemployment, child birth, recent tsunami, suicide bomb�K ��Every adverse experience when rightly
received can carry its quota of good.
Bodily pain and weakness cause us to feel our frailty. Perplexity reveals our lack of
wisdom. Financial reverses
point up how limited are our resources.
Mistakes and failure humble our pride.�� said Oswald Sanders. Nothing could alter God��s perfect
plan.
��God
works�� means God is actively working 24/7. There��s no chance factor or devil-rule
factor. Everything happens only if
God allows them to. It��s essential
to learn God is always in control and for our good not matter how bad the
situation is.
����For
the good�� means the true good thing and delight. Humans are socialized distortedly to
equate comfort, animal pleasure and material abundance to good. What��s the real good? Romans
8:29a: ��For those God foreknew he also
predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his
Son.��
Today��s quote: ��Beauty comes from a heart that loves God�� Stephan
Arterburn.
May God bless us with faith,
hope, and love in your life, amen.
P.S.
Kamloops
trip schedule:
26/4(Tue)
woke up @ 4am / bible study (finished OT) /
bus(9:45am-3:30pm)/arrived @ Queenie's place / TRU / dinner (Lucky Yung) w/
Tick, Queenie, Dom, Jane / TRU / movie w/ Dom (The Interpretor) / home- study w/
Tick til 6am / zzz
27/4(Wed)
woke up @ 11am / read Revelation / TRU / lunch (Irish) @
downtown / Thompson Park Mall (Christian bookstore) / spoke n' motion (couldn't
rent a bike) / walked across the bridge to north shore / beach / walk along
Tranquille / bus back Thompson Park Mall (Christian bookstore), bought 2 books-
Finding Mr. Right and Every Young Man's Battle / Aberdeen Mall / fine dining
(Tony Roma) w/ Tick, Jane / zzz @ 2am
28/4(Thu)
woke up @ 11am / read Revelation / hiking w/ Jane
(Upper College -> downtown (lunch @ sushi) ->
Peterson Creek - >Saharli -> Upper) / laundry / TRU w/ Queenie / fine
dinning w/ Dom / Dom's home (Dom edited my homepage and we discussed Catholic
issues) / home / video games w/ Tick + friends til 4:30am / zzz
29/4(Fri)
woke up @ 12am / read Revelation / Upper / wait for
Kevin / visited Kevin's homestay (devotion + singing) / practised dancing-
Kevin, Shawn, Meggie, Lainani, Laidi, girl (song: I found Jesus) for Sunday
worship @ Methodist Church / fine dinning (India)- Meggie, Lainani, Shawn,
Kevin, Jane / Upper- chat w/ Lu, Carol, Jane / home / Tick came back from movie
w/ Dom & Donald / moving marathon til 4:30am / A&W / zzz @ Ruth's place
@ 5:10am
30/4(Sat)
woke up @ 9:30am / moving marathon til 1pm / lunch w/
Siu Leung + Yau Fai @ Taka / Carol's place & wait / 4pm prayer meeting @
Bert's place (focus club) / Macdonald dinner / practise dancing from 8-10 / read
Revelation & wait @ Carol's place (Tick was away playing video games) /
11:50pm Tick arrived & we went to Ruth's place / pray / zzz @
12:30am
1/5(Sun)
woke up@ 5:30am, then 7:30am / Laider picked me up to
Free Evangelical Church (North Shore) / worship (church worship team / our
dancing team / our worship team / James' testimony / Alan gave his message
(Greater Power Comes Greater Responsibility: Queen Sheba as an example) / lunch
@ Bert's place / soccer @ Sahali / Queenie's place / dinner w/ Michael, Queenie,
Jane, Tick, Alex, Tramy, Yau Fai / movie (Hitchers' guide to the galaxy) w/
Donald, Dom, Tick, Jane / Starbucks / home / zzz @ 3am
2/5(Mon)
woke up @ 8:30am / Queenie's place / left
Kamloops @ 10am / arrived Abbotsfold (House of James)- bought a
concordance! / home w/ George & Kevin / downtown (Robson,
Canada
Place...) / Richmond Sushi w/ Kevin, George, Shrin, Shawn (I
won't eat sushi this summer) / home @ 1am...
Apr22, 05(Friday)
Apr 22, 05 Friday
1.
philosophying
2.
exam
3.
phone Dad
4.
fellowship- Michael, Sharon, Gary, Janice, Dorothy,
Ankie, Anita, Alex, Andrew
5.
snacks- Gary, Janice, Ankie, Anita,
Alex
6.
bibleing (John)
7.
zzz
Today, Joseph
visited Dorothy at her store and
they took the bus (99b-16) to church.
It took them 50min which is only 5min by car, because there��s no direct
bus route and the available one goes round and round. Joseph truly experienced the difficulty
and hassle Dorothy faced every time
she comes to church. Joseph prayed to his God that the
Spirit will inspire someone to do a little act of kindness to Dorothy next
time.
Tonight��s bible study was Ephesians
5. Ephesians 4,
5 is one of the climaxes in the NT.
That��s exciting! Joseph thanked his God for shepherding
him through a good teacher Michael
and a group of dear bro & sis in
Christ. The usual snack time
afterwards was, as usual, wonderful.
It��s wonderful tonight! Joseph found that his dear bro & sis in Christ are v.
cute and lovely.
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children
and live a life of love,
just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a
fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Ephesians 5:1-2
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the
Lord.
Live as children
of the light.
Ephesians 5:8
Joseph was v. glad with
the presence of Uncle Leung. Thanks God J Joseph was v. happy to see Uncle Sum yesterday as they hadn��t met
for a couple months. Thanks God
J Joseph was also v. happy to have dinner
with Uncle Kei, Aunt and Andrew 2
days ago. Thanks God
J Joseph prayed to the Lord that all the Wong members will ��My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen
you.�� (Job
42:5), delight in the Lord and live in HIM. Nothing could be
better.
Joseph had the privilege
to be on the phone with his Dad, who
edified him with God��s words.
May God teach
Joseph to excel in doing his will, amen.
Joseph waited in hope for
the Lord, amen.
Joseph realized God had
been v. tender to him during this exam period�K May God guard him and strengthen him.
J
May 22, 05
Joseph��s
speaking:
Lately I have been volunteering and reading books of
human relationships most of my time.
Helping people urges me to reflect on the pressing need of helping, and
how to build up people in maturity, character, and truth (i.e. in Christ) and
its methodology. I��d like to drop a
few lines about it today.
Helping Basics:
First, helping each other is a basic human activity (e.g.
helping a friend, spouse��) in all situations (e.g. friendship, dating, dating,
parenting��) and so everyone is basically doing it everyday. The more one excels in it, the better
one��s life is.
Second, almost all human problems (e.g. family violence,
smoking, excessive drinking, sexual addiction��) are rooted in one reason- a life
without meaning/purpose. A life
without ��meaningful�� meaning or a life without ��meaningful�� goals leads to
boredom and unsatisfaction, and in turn brings about disorders.
Third, helping people is never an end in itself, but is
��purpose-driven�� as a means to a clear goal, which is to build that person up
with a proper self-esteem (self-worth/value) and meaning of life with meaningful
goals in life
Helping
Methodology:
Now, the process is:
A life without meaning-----�� A life with meaning
How can we do that?
Now, we need to analyze what contributes to the meaning
of life- the fundamental basic human need.
In fact, every human being constantly searches for the meaning of his
existence to confirm the value of his life. This confirmation cannot be done by
humans (e.g. boy/girlfriend, husband/wife, sons/daughters��) or any human
achievements (e.g. $, status, beauty, popularity��). It can ONLY be done by tracing the root
of one��s existence- GOD the creator and understand why He created
him.
Therefore, in helping, a helper��s ultimate goal is not to
support a person as much as he can and to be by his side 24/7. His help is only a means/tool to link
that person to God. Instead of
merely sharing the burden of that person��s pain, a helper constantly strives to
kick/push that person to God, because human��s help is temporary (e.g.
painkiller) but God��s help is eternal.
Only in God can one finds complete healing.
Joseph��s case
study:
In Joseph��s
life, 2 things contributed a lot to his happiness.
First, it��s a habit of regular and consistent exercising
and a habit of early and regular sleeping which gives Joseph a strong physique and lots of
energy and cheerfulness power in daily interactions and working. He��s less likely to feel tired and has a
more-than-normal energetic involvement in social gatherings. This is the physical aspect of
happiness.
Second, it��s Joseph��s relationship with God- the
mental aspect of happiness. In his
life, there are 2 major life-transforming events.
- Grade 12-
Joseph started to read ��self-help�� books
- University Yr. 2-
Joseph started to read the Bible and decided to surrender to God as his
Lord
Joseph grew up as an
ordinary kid, neither specifically optimistic nor pessimistic. In Grade 12, Joseph had more free time to read and
he came across some self-help books teaching people how to build up good
relationships, self-confidence, self-efficacy, how to make friends�� (if you
don��t know what��s ��self-help�� books, go to the ��self-help�� section in
bookstore) Joseph��s surprised by those unforeseen
teachings, ��That��s so awesome!��
Back then, Joseph practised
the skills offered in those teaching diligently exactly like one practising
martial arts. His whole desk is
covered with memos like ��Live today as if it��s your last day��, ��Happy is not to
do what you love, but to love what you are doing��. The diligent practice resulted in a
whole new character.
Self-help books are indeed powerful, but
insufficient. Why? Because Joseph still couldn��t answer ��What��s
my meaning of life�� with 100% confidence.
Back then, he��d answer ��To make people around me happy and be happy
together�� because happiness is good.
But, concerning ��How can I do that�� and ��Why (the motivation) should I do
that��, he couldn��t answer. Joseph needed a confirmation of his
value of life.
Since his birth, Joseph has been attending church
consistently every Sunday. During
his 2nd yr in university, Michael was his pastor in his church
fellowship. Michael always stressed that all power
of a Christian comes from his relationship with God and reading the Bible to
understand God and oneself is the basic, first step and at that time he just
held a Finish-the-Bible-in-one-year plan.
So, Joseph bought his
1st personal Bible and started to read
John. Thank God, in
another fellowship, Michael
recommended a book (Purpose-Driven
Life by Rick Warren) about
finding the meaning of life from a Christian��s perspective. Joseph became extremely curious and
thought ��What? The Bible can answer
this ultimate question ��What��s my meaning of life?�� I must see if it��s true or not!�� The next day, he immediately bought the
Purpose-driven Life and diligently
examined the Bible with unprecedented passion and eagerness. Only until then did Joseph realize the thing (the value of
life) he has been searching for all his life was in the book right beside him
all along over the past 21 years.
Why did the Bible help Joseph? In the Bible, God told Joseph who HE is and who he is. HE speaks as one with divine authority
and Joseph experienced the realness
of HIS presence. This religious
experience started once Joseph
humbled himself and opened his heart to seek the ONE
above.
Conclusion:
To help effectively, one needs to push that person to
God. To be helped, one needs to be
humble and open his heart to learning, and to speak less and listen
more.
Paul: ��I am
not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.
Follow my examples, as I follow the example of
Christ.��
1 Corinthians 10:33b, 11:1
Paul: ��I
endure everything for the sake of the elect,
that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ
Jesus.��
2 Timothy 2:10
P.S.
My past week:
May 22
1.
church
2.
lunch- Gary, Janice, Dorothy, Anita,
Jane, Mon, Joseph
3.
home
4.
dinner w/ Uncle Kei and Andrew, Uncle and Aunt
Sum
5.
home
May 15
1.
church
2.
SUCCESS BBQ- Terrance, Gloria, May, Dorothy, Jonathan,
Ralph, Peter, Chris, Jane, Henry, Adam, Elvin, Edison,
Joseph
3.
phone (w/ Jane)
4.
zzz
May 16
1.
10am-6pm volunteer (met Jennifer)
2.
home
May 17
1.
BC Election
volunteering
2.
school
3.
dinner w/ James (I challenged James w/ a prayer request, which had a
partial answer/hope the day after)
4.
home
May 18
1.
10am-6pm volunteering (met a
new friend
Sharon)
2.
home
3.
May 19
1.
Church prayer meeting + bible
study
2.
lunch
3.
school
4.
home
May 20
1.
ESL
2.
volunteer 2pm-6pm
3.
fellowship
4.
dinner
May 21
1.
volunteer 10am-2pm (met Jennifer)
2.
go back
UBC
3.
volunteer @
church
4.
met Martin
5.
felt some symptoms of
sickness, went home early (8pm)
6.
home
7.
phone (w/ Jane)
