Title:  Starting Over

Author:  Joolz

Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who

Genre:  Slash, H/C, Angst, First Time

Rating:  gentle NC-17

Pairing:  Jack/Ten

Word Count:  11,000

Notes:  This was written for the Undermistletoe challenge.  The prompt was to choose Hurt/Comfort or AU.  The story has plenty of H/C, and is AU in that nothing like this is going to happen in canon – I only wish.

Thanks to ladyra, riverain, and runriggers for valiant beta services.  No British beta, so all errors in that area are mine.  Actually, all errors are mine, period.

Series/Spoilers:  Set after Series 1 of Torchwood and after Series 3 of Doctor Who.  Heavy references to canon events, most explicitly for Doctor Who.

Summary:  Jack and the Doctor want to start over, but it’s almost over before it even starts.

Disclaimer:  Not my lovely characters, just playing with them.

Warnings:  None, other than what usually goes with the genre.

 

+++++++++++++

 

Starting Over

 

 

Gwen hung up the phone with a wince.  “We’ve been summoned to City Hall,” she announced to the room.  “Apparently one of the Councillors wants an explanation as to why a three metre tall green blob interrupted the football match Sunday. He feels that the goalkeeper nearly being devoured unfairly disadvantaged the Bluebirds’ performance.”

 

At his desk Owen snorted.  “We should have let the bloody thing eat that wanker.  At least then they would’ve had a real excuse for losing.  Again.”

 

“I’ll go,” Jack said, emerging from his office.  “No reason we all have to be there for the, ‘No, sorry, we can’t arrange the Rift’s schedule to spit out aliens only when convenient,’ speech.”

 

“Fine with me,” Gwen replied.  “Personally I’d rather deal with a giant stomach on legs than a politician.”

 

Gwen knew Jack was restless, and the August heat just made it worse.  It would do him good to get out.

 

The weather did help Gwen’s morale a bit, though.  It was too hot for Jack’s usual layers of clothing, so he was wearing black jeans and a black short-sleeved shirt that showed off his muscular chest and arms.  Now that was hot!  She took a moment to enjoy watching him fit an earpiece in place and have a word with Ianto before leaving.

 

When Jack had disappeared up the invisible elevator to the Plass, Gwen turned back to the case report she was typing.  Barely a minute later, Tosh said, “Hmm.  You should see this.”

 

Curious, all three of the remaining team members made their way over to Tosh’s work station, where she was observing a CCTV monitor.  Gwen wondered if it was another dangerous alien so soon after the last. 

 

In a way it was.

 

They could see Jack standing near a column in the plaza talking to a man in a narrow pin-striped suit, who looked harmless enough, except…

 

“It’s the Doctor,” Ianto said seriously.

 

Yeah, the Doctor.  The one Jack had been mooning over for as long as Gwen had known him.  The one that seemed to do nothing but break Jack’s heart.  She wished they could hear what the men were saying.

 

+++++++++

 

 

The afternoon sun was bright as Jack walked across the Roald Dhal Plass toward the car park.  The sea air and the bustle of end-of-season tourists going innocently about their business were refreshing.

 

A dark figure stepped out from behind a pillar and said, “Hello, Captain.”

 

Jack shifted so the glare was out of his eyes, and the figure clarified into a slim man with a sharply pointed face, an artfully mussed shock of hair and scruffy trainers.

 

Even as he stood stock still, adrenalin surged through Jack’s body.  The Doctor had come to him?  That was a first.

 

“Doctor,” he said, stunned.  “This is a surprise.”

 

“A pleasant one, I hope.  How are you, Jack?”

 

“Good,” he answered automatically.  “Fine.  I’m fine.”  He admonished himself to get it together, or at least not look as unnerved as he felt.  He pursed his lips appreciatively.  “You’re looking fine yourself.  How long have you been away?”

 

For Jack it had been several months, but for the Doctor it could have been minutes or centuries.

 

The Doctor answered, “A few years by my time.  Hardly noticed.”

 

Yeah, that sounded like the Doctor.  It was out of sight, out of mind with him.

 

He peered around the Doctor’s shoulder and out of the corner of his eye caught sight of the blue police box.  The perception filter was engaged, but with little effort Jack could pinpoint its exact location.

 

“So who do you have with you now?” he asked.  “Are your companions tucked away in there, or did you already send them out for chips?  Are they cute?”

 

The Doctor cocked his head and made a long face.  “Oh it’s just me by my little old self.  Haven’t had a companion since Martha, really.  Ferried the odd straggler about now and then.  Nothing serious.”

 

You’re travelling by yourself?” Jack asked incredulously.

 

“Yeah.  And don’t go making it out to be some depressive, martyr-ish tantrum.”

 

Jack chuffed and interjected, “You said it, I didn’t.”

 

The Doctor ignored him and ploughed on obliviously.  “In fact, I’ve often gone without a companion for years at a time.  Humans come and go so quickly, can’t always be breaking in a new one.”

 

Jack’s gaze hardened and the Doctor tried again, dropping his defences enough to admit sadly, “When they go they break my hearts.  They disappear and I never see them again.  Poof.”  He illustrated with hand motions.  “Sometimes I need time to pick up the pieces, but it’s not a problem.”

 

Actually, Jack kind of knew what he meant.  It was hard to remain engaged through an endless cycle of loving and losing.  He said, “Okay, so you’re travelling alone and blissfully happy with it.  What brings you to Cardiff, then?”

 

The Doctor brightened and clapped his hands together.  “Well!  There’s a job that needs doing, and I can’t quite manage on my own.  Need you to come along and give me a hand.  Just one teensy weensy little job.   I can tell you all about it, but you know the sort of thing I get up to.” 

 

Jack smiled playfully.  “Averting the apocalypse, saving the universe, that type of thing.”

 

“Exactly!” the Doctor crowed. 

 

“And you want me to drop what I’m doing and go off with you, just like that?”

 

“Why not?  Think about it, Jack,” he cajoled.  “Travelling through time and space in the Tardis.  Adventure around every corner.  Anywhere you want to go.  Any when.  You name it, the universe is your oyster.”

 

Jack folded his arms over his chest, feeling irritated.  “Oh, I have thought about it.”  More than he cared to admit.  “You make it sound like it’s all fun and games, but my experience travelling in your company wasn’t entirely pleasant.  Let’s see, first I was exterminated by Daleks while trying to protect you.  Now, I did that gladly, Doctor, but I can tell you, it definitely ruins your day.  Then I’m suddenly alive again with no idea why.  Then you abandon me on a space station full of people who died under my leadership.  And then there was the Master.  You remember him, right?  You do recall the fun we all had that year on the Valiant?”

 

The Doctor looked away.  As cocksure as he was, even he couldn’t argue with Jack about that.  Jack hoped he wouldn’t be dismissive, because then he might have to punch him, and that really wasn’t how he wanted this to go.

 

The Doctor acknowledged what he’d said, “Granted.  You have a point,” but then moved on.  “But it wasn’t all bad, was it?  We had some laughs, too, yeah?”  The Doctor gave Jack the big, pleading eyes. 

 

Charmed, as usual, Jack had to admit, “No, it wasn’t all bad.  I loved travelling in the Tardis.  I loved Rose and Martha.”  He didn’t say, ‘I loved you’, but he could tell that the Doctor saw it in his face.

 

The Time Lord puffed up his chest, “That’s it, let’s focus on the good things, shall we?  Besides, the Tardis misses you.”

 

“She does, does she?  She’s not going to try to shake me off again, then?”  And yeah, he meant there to be a double meaning with that.

 

“Oh, well,” the Doctor drawled.  “She never really did.”

 

Jack raised his eyebrows.  “That’s not what you said.”

 

“She did some shaking, but it wasn’t personal.  Would’ve done with anyone clinging to the outside like a limpet.  Just, given your special nature it might have been a little worse.  And by the way, did I ever mention how monumentally stupid that was?  Through the Vortex on the outside of a Tardis.  Have you got a death wish, or what?”  The Doctor’s eyes sparkled at the dubious humour of his joke.

 

“I needed a vacation,” Jack quipped, with a leer.  “Caught the first bus that passed.”

 

They grinned at each other.

 

Their eyes met and held, and the Doctor asked, “How about we start again, Captain?  Start all over.”

 

“Yeah, we can do that,” Jack agreed.  It wasn’t quite that easy, though.  “But we can’t start over in the same place as before.  I’ve lived a hundred and forty years since then.  I’m not a con-man any more; I’ve made myself over into someone I think you can be proud of.  And I’m still responsible for my team and for stopping whatever comes through the Rift, that hasn’t changed in the last few months.

 

“Don’t even think about telling me my team isn’t important, Doctor,” he went on adamantly, forestalling any objections, “or that what I’m doing with Torchwood isn’t important.  You know that no Earth native of this time has the experience to deal with what’s coming.  I do a fair amount of universe saving myself.”

 

The Doctor looked a little nauseous.  “Yeah, Jack Harkness, Defender of the Earth.  It’s a noble profession, one that some of my favourite people have adopted.  The irony is killing me.”

 

Jack didn’t know exactly to what he was referring, and returned to his argument.  “And when we first met, you didn’t look at me and think, wrong.  I know you said you ‘don’t mind’,” he made air quotes with his fingers, “but I don’t like having to wonder what you see when you look at me.”

 

The Doctor gazed up at the sky, clearly trying to decide how to respond to that.  He then addressed Jack solemnly.

 

“There are no timelines around you, Jack.  There’s no glimpse of past or future, no flashes of potential.  Only you, eternally frozen in the moment.  When I look at you, I see a dead blank gap in the middle of a swirl of life and motion.”

 

Hearing the Doctor talk about him that way always made Jack’s stomach hurt, and this time was no exception.

 

The serious expression dropped off the Doctor’s face from one moment to the next, and his voice brightened.  “Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you.  Kind of restful, actually.  Just took some getting used to.  A man gets accustomed to how he’s always seen things.  Something comes along that turns that on end, and it seems wrong at first, doesn’t it?  Doesn’t mean he can’t learn to appreciate a little diversity.”

 

That was a little better.  Jack smirked, “So you appreciate me now, do you?”

 

“Yeah,” the Doctor said, and took a deep breath.  “Yeah, I do.”

 

“Do you trust me to do a good job with what’s left of Torchwood?  Will you come inside and see what we’re doing?  Meet my team?”

 

The Doctor definitely didn’t look thrilled, but he said, “All right, I can do that.  Since you ask so nicely.”  Then he grimaced.  “So you like this team of yours?  Are they really that wonderful?  Perfect little minions.”

 

Jack had to laugh out loud at that.  “I certainly wouldn’t describe them that way.  They’re so far from perfect it’s painful, literally.  But they’re mine.  And I’m not exactly perfect either.”

 

He sobered quickly, feeling the ever-present ghosts crowding around his back.  “I’ve done some things.”   Jack held the Doctor’s eyes, willing him to understand.  “I’ve made life and death decisions that I can’t know for sure were right.  People have died.”

 

The Doctor’s expression softened, and in a moment of uncharacteristic demonstrativeness, he reached out to touch Jack’s cheek. 

 

“It’s not about being sure, Jack.  It’s about being brave enough to keep making those decisions, because someone has to.  Believe me when I say I know what it costs you to do it.”

 

Jack smiled weakly.  “Yeah, I guess if anyone does, it’s you.”  He wondered how different the Doctor’s decisions would have been if he had been in Jack’s place.  If the Doctor would have found solutions where Jack couldn’t.

 

Shaking his head as if to dispel the dark mood, the Doctor exclaimed, “Right, then.  Shall we go see this beehive of heroic activity?”

 

They fell into step beside each other walking back the way Jack had come.  His emotions were mixed.  Of course he was excited to see the Doctor, and he looked forward to showing him the cool stuff Torchwood had - only the fun things, like the pterodactyl and the universal lock opener, not the creepy ones.  The Doctor was like a child at Christmas when presented with new toys.

 

On the other hand, he had no idea which way it would go when his team and the Doctor met face to face.  He really hoped his people would make an attempt at good behaviour and not embarrass him too much.

 

As they approached the fountain, a man appeared around the corner at a run.  He came straight at them, and Jack realized he had some kind of modified gun in his hand.  He put an arm out across the Doctor’s chest to stop him, and reached for the revolver - that wasn’t attached to his belt where it should be. 

 

The man started shouting before he came to a stop in front of them.  “It’s your fault!  You destroyed the greatest person who ever lived!  You’re utterly evil!”  He was looking at the Doctor.  Jack recognized the man from somewhere, and while it didn’t come to him immediately, a chill ran up his spine.

 

The man shouted, “I knew you would show up here, and then I would make you pay!”

 

Jack didn’t hesitate.  He stepped between the crazy man and the Doctor, just as the gun fired.

 

+++++++

 

 

The sharp cracking sound of the gunshot reverberated off the cement of the plaza, and Jack slammed back into the Doctor, who caught him around the chest.  He sank under Jack’s weight and they ended up on the ground, the Doctor holding Jack in his arms.  The Doctor could see a hole in his friend’s chest, with blood making the black shirt shine wetly.

 

Jack grabbed the Doctor’s arm with a grip that would break the bones of a normal human.  He tipped his head back and stared up at the Doctor, eyes wild and gasping for breath.

 

“Doctor!” he croaked hoarsely.  “Oh, god!  This is different.  Damn!”

 

He had seen Jack die.  He’d seen it more times than he could count, and in more different ways than he cared to remember.  But he’d never seen this look in Jack’s eyes before.  It was more than fear or pain.  It was as though his soul was being ripped from his body.   “You’ll be all right, Captain,” he said calmingly, though he was actually becoming alarmed. 

 

Meanwhile, the Doctor was aware that their assailant was still standing there shouting and waving the gun.  “No!  This isn’t the plan!  It was supposed to be you first, and him later.  The monster and then the freak!  It’s what He would have wanted.”  With an incoherent yell, he pointed the gun at the Doctor and pulled the trigger again and again.  Fortuitously, it seemed that there was only the one bullet, but the man couldn’t contain his frustration.

 

Suddenly a small woman with dark hair tackled the man to the ground and had his hands restrained behind his back within a few moments.  The Doctor recognized her as Jack’s friend Gwen.

 

Just as three more people crowded around them on their knees, Jack’s face contorted with agony and he groaned deeply.  He gasped, “Doctor,” then stopped breathing. 

 

The Doctor had the strangest feeling, one that went beyond seeing someone he cared for hurt.  It was as if a vacuum-sealed vessel had imploded, collapsing in on itself and popping out of existence.  It took the breath out of his lungs.  Just as quickly, the strange, neutral space that had been so evident around Jack was gone.  That had never happened when he had died before.

 

“Oh, no,” he said.

 

One of the men who had joined them, the one the Doctor knew was a medical doctor, put his hand on Jack’s face and closed his staring eyes.  “That part freaks me out,” he said wryly, as though the rest was the most normal thing in the world.  Then he ordered, “Ianto, get this bastard to a holding cell.”

 

The younger man, clearly scared but angry, pulled the still raging gunman to his feet and dragged him toward the Millennium Centre.

 

The Doctor felt a sensation that was like having a fishing hook embedded in his gut, with someone trying to pull it straight out.  The feeling was pouring into him from Jack.

 

He quickly laid Jack down on the pavement and scooted back a few inches. 

 

“You,” he said to the doctor, Owen.  “Get the bullet out of him.”

 

“Relax,” the other man replied.  “It’s not as bad as you think.”

 

“No,” he countered.  “It’s much worse than you think.  Get it out!”

 

“You don’t understand,” said the soft-spoken Asian woman, Toshiko.  “He’ll be all right.”

 

“I understand better than you lot, and he’s not all right!  Do as I say,” the Doctor shouted.  “Get it out now!  I don’t care if you have to go in with your bare hands, do it!”

 

“Owen,” Gwen said worriedly.  “Maybe you’d better do as he says.”

 

Owen shrugged.  “All right, then.  Don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

 

He pulled a small leather case from his back pocket and took out a pair of tweezers and a small pick – a lock pick, the Doctor surmised.  Bending over Jack’s supine form, he dug into the bloody hole in his chest with the tools, poked around, and removed a small projectile. 

 

Owen held it up triumphantly, and as it was exposed to the air the Doctor felt a wave of nausea.  Ignoring the discomfort, he turned his attention back to Jack.  Watching closely, he saw no flicker of returning life inside him.  He focused his psychic ability and connected to Jack.  Brain activity was slowing and fading, as it would in a normal person’s permanent death. 

 

“Oh, no, no, no, Jack.  Do not do this,” he murmured.

 

“Look,” Gwen said to him, “we know you’re the Doctor, and that you’re important to Jack.  I would have thought you knew about him, how he’s unusual.”

 

“That he can’t die, yes of course I know,” he snapped back.  “But this is different.  He’s not going to wake up from this.”

 

The three looked at each other in confusion.

 

Annoyed, Owen asked, “What are you on about?”

 

“He’ll be all right,” Gwen insisted.  “After Abaddon, it was days.  He still came back.”  Nevertheless, she found Jack’s hand and squeezed it.

 

The Doctor would have glared at her if he hadn’t been so distracted.  He’d once thought Jack was wrong, but this was worse.  Now there really was nothing there.  No spark of the Vortex, no buzzing in the Doctor’s head, no push/pull of attraction to and repulsion from the fact of him.  Because it was no longer there.  His stomach roiled with fear for Jack.

 

The Doctor ignored the insect-like drone of their voices.  There wasn’t time to waste explaining things.  He had to make one of those decisions Jack was talking about, the life and death ones, where he didn’t know what was right.  He didn’t even know what Jack would want.  This was his chance to die.  Would he choose to live, or not?

 

The Doctor knew what he wanted.  Those few minutes talking to Jack had made him feel more alive than he had in a long time.  Jack made him feel hopeful, like maybe there was something to look forward to other than years of loneliness.  He didn’t want to give that up.

 

But that was selfish.  Did he have the right to do what he was contemplating? 

 

In the end the Doctor did what he usually did, went with his gut.

 

Ianto returned and peered over Owen’s shoulder.  “We should get him inside before the police come,” he said practically.

 

“No,” the Doctor countered.  “We’ll take him to the Tardis.”

 

“The what?” Toshiko asked.

 

“My ship.  Looks like a blue police box.  Down that way,” he motioned with his head.

 

The others all looked, with varying degrees of scepticism and consternation.  One by one their faces cleared into surprise or amazement.

 

“A perception filter,” Toshiko said.  “Very nice!”

 

The Doctor started to pick Jack up under the shoulders to drag him there himself if necessary, but Ianto moved him out of the way.  “We’ll carry him, sir,” he said.  Ianto and Owen lifted Jack and followed the Doctor across the Plass, the women staying close.

 

When they entered the Tardis, the Doctor ignored the ubiquitous ‘It’s bigger on the inside’ comments, and motioned for them to hurry.  “Put him here, come on.”

 

They lay him down on the metal mesh flooring near the centre of the room.  Then the Doctor turned his attention to the task at hand.

 

+++++++

 

 

Gwen had never seen anything like it.  That shouldn’t be a surprise, it being an alien ship and all, but she was with Torchwood.  She knew Jack had experience with this kind of thing and more, but he never made her feel like a stupid, backwater-of-the-universe Earthling.  This place did, though.  It was so very alien.

 

Jack was pale and still.  She had seen him that way before, but the Doctor was clearly worried, and that worried her.

 

“What now?” Ianto asked.

 

But the Doctor apparently didn’t think it necessary to answer.  He had thrown himself across the podium next to Jack, which looked sort of like a giant Chambord liqueur bottle, and had begun talking to himself. 

 

“You can help him, I know you can.  You can make him like he was – when it happened before, it was really you, just directed through Rose.  You can do this on your own.  Please do this for me.”

 

He began stroking the pedestal as he talked, and Gwen thought that maybe he was addressing it.  Which was just super.  The Doctor had obviously gone mad.

 

“I know you love Jack, too.”  The mad Doctor continued to croon to the odd object.  “I’ve never asked you anything like this before, but I’m not ready to lose him.  Not yet.  Please, my friend.  You can see how much this means to me.  It’s just fixing something that’s broken.  How often has Jack helped to fix you?  He’s saved your life!  You owe him.  I owe him.  Please my beautiful girl, please do this for me.”

 

Gwen glanced at her team mates, who all looked equally shocked and confused.  She honestly had no idea what they should do.

 

The Doctor looked desperate, as though he was going to cry.  He stopped talking and spread his arms across the panel, embracing it.  His face was pinched like he was concentrating at it.

 

The section upon which he was leaning shifted upward a bit, and the Doctor jumped away.  He began shouting, “Get back!  Get behind the console, and don’t look directly at it.”

 

Which was practically an invitation for the rest of them to stay right were they were and look as hard as possible.

 

Incensed, the Doctor bellowed, “Don’t be stupid!  Do what I tell you.  Jack would kill me if I let you all die!”

 

That did sound serious, and Gwen scrambled to obey.  Her questions could wait. 

 

As the team moved around behind the Doctor, the hatch, which was what it evidently was, continued to open until it reached about ten centimetres.  Golden glowing light flowed out of the opening and washed over Jack’s body in tendrils, like tongues of flame.  A roaring noise and sourceless wind whipped through the air.  After a moment, Gwen could see light shining out of Jack’s eye sockets and mouth.  The tendrils of light grew, twisting into the air above Jack.

 

“Not too much,” the Doctor directed.  “Only just enough.  You’re so clever, my girl.  You can do it.”

 

Slowly, the light show around her friend and boss receded back into the hatch, which closed with a clang.

 

There was silence, and the Doctor stepped forward, staring at Jack with frightening intensity.  “Come on, come on,” he urged determinedly. 

 

Gwen realized that her back was pressed against a wall and that she had been holding her breath.  At the same moment she remembered how to inhale, Jack’s chest rose as he gasped back to life.

 

Jack moaned and twisted like he was trying to turn over.  Gwen hurried toward him, but Owen and the Doctor got there first.  They helped him shift onto his side, facing Owen with the Doctor at his back.  Jack curled himself forward, clutching his stomach and chest.   He groaned like he was in excruciating agony, then went limp, but he was clearly still breathing.

 

The Doctor, one hand on Jack’s hip, slumped forward, looking exhausted and relieved.  He whispered, “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” to himself.

 

Owen checked Jack’s pulse, respiration and pupil response, and put his hand on Jack’s forehead to check his temperature.  “He’s all right,” he reported, then stood up.

 

When the Doctor straightened up again, Gwen demanded, “Okay, what just happened here?”

 

“I should think that was obvious,” the Doctor answered impatiently.  “Jack was dead and now he isn’t.”

 

“But Jack can’t die.  That’s been established.”

 

“Apparently, that isn’t entirely accurate,” the Doctor countered with a superior attitude.  “He really was dead this time.”

 

“Why?” Gwen asked.  “How?”

 

Looking slightly humbler, the Doctor scratched his head and admitted, “I don’t actually know.  Whatever that man shot him with killed him.”

 

Gwen shook her head and insisted, “Well you obviously know more than we do, so you had better tell us.”

 

“Oh, and why is that?” the Doctor challenged.

 

“Because,” she explained, though this should be obvious, “we can’t protect him if we don’t know what is a danger to him.”

 

“Oh, you’re going to protect him, are you?  I haven’t noticed you lot looking after Jack very well up till now.”

 

Tosh asked, appalled, “You’ve been watching us?”

 

“Off and on, yeah.  I can’t say that I’m very impressed with what I’ve seen, either.  But for some reason Jack feels tremendous loyalty to you, whether you deserve it or not.”

 

Owen shrugged.  “Just means we’ve gotta try harder, is all.”  He pulled a gun from his holster and brandished it.  “Look, you can tell us what you know or I can shoot you and we’ll take Jack back to Torchwood and look after him on our own.  What’ll it be?”

 

The Doctor raised his eyebrows.  “Oi, not much of a doctor are you, going around threatening to shoot people.”

 

Owen’s lip curled in a snarl.  “I have my priorities, mate, and you ain’t one of ‘em.”

 

The Doctor glared.  “You try to take Jack out of here and you will regret it.  You have my word on that.”

 

Gwen didn’t like how possessive he sounded.  She hoped he wasn’t planning on keeping Jack permanently.  She really hoped that Jack wasn’t planning on keeping the Doctor.

 

“Really,” Tosh said.  “Tell us why we should trust you.  You’re an alien, aren’t you?  The infamous Doctor.”

 

“I’m a Time Lord.”

 

Gwen chuckled.  “Bit of a pretentious title, isn’t it.”

 

“It’s not a title, it’s the name of my race, which was the oldest and most advanced race in the universe.”

 

“Was?  Where are the rest of you?” Owen asked.

 

“They’re gone.”  The Doctor seemed to be getting more and more angry.  “All of them.  Died saving the universe so that you could go on living your oblivious little lives, watching telly and popping round to the pub for a pint.  Hardly seems a fair trade if you ask me.”

 

“If we’re such a sad, pitiful race,” Owen challenged, “why do you care about Jack?”

 

“Jack’s a special case.”

 

“Is he human?” Ianto asked suddenly.  Startled, everyone turned to stare at him.  “I mean, is he actually a human, or is he an alien?”

 

Owen smirked.  “You would have more reason than most to know if all his bits work like they should.”

 

Ianto didn’t react.  He continued, “Because he never answers a direct question about where he’s from.”  He addressed the Doctor.  “Is Jack human, or is he another race like you, that only looks that way?”

 

The Doctor regarded the young man warily.  “I’ll tell you that yes, he is human, or was.  Anything else you want to know, ask him.”

 

Gwen tried to bring them back to her original question.  “But what happened here?”

 

They all jumped at the sound of a familiar voice.  Jack asked weakly, “What are you arguing about?”

 

++++++

 

 

Jack was curled on his side, and he felt so, so sick.  It was like a powerful, slow-acting poison, like his internal organs were scrambled and reconnected wrongly.  Nevertheless, he could hear familiar voices speaking with a tone of hostility.

 

Nobody answered his question, but suddenly there were people crowded around and hands on his body.  His head was lifted off the floor until his upper body was cradled in Gwen’s arms.  She stroked his hair gently as he held down the urge to vomit up his raw insides.  

 

He didn’t remember what had happened and his eyes weren’t quite working yet, but could tell that he was now in the Tardis.  There was kind of a peaceful hum in his mind that he associated with the time ship.

 

“Doctor?” he asked.

 

“Here.”  The voice was close beside him and a soothing hand rested on his shoulder.

 

“What happened?” he asked.

 

“That,” Gwen said, “is what we’re trying to find out.  Your friend the Doctor doesn’t feel the need to explain.”

 

“Oh,” Jack said wearily, his eyes still mostly closed.  “I thought imparting knowledge was one of his favourite things.”  This little conversation was thankfully distracting him from the fiery pain in his chest.

 

“Fine then.”  Gwen demanded, “Tell us, Doctor, what’s in that thing?”   She pointed to the control console.

 

“That,” said the Doctor, grudgingly, “is the heart of the Tardis.  It contains the Time Vortex within it, which is how we time travel.  There was an – incident – and a friend of ours used it to save Jack’s life, which she inadvertently made permanent.  It was sort of an accident.”

 

Jack said, with a note of resentment he couldn’t hide, “It was an affront to Time Lord sensibilities.  He would rather I had died that day and stayed dead.”

 

“But,” Tosh pointed out, “he’s just used it on purpose to save your life again, hasn’t he.”

 

Jack looked sharply over at the Doctor.  “You did?”

 

The Doctor nodded uncomfortably.  “Yeah.  I did.”

 

That was more than Jack could process.  Maybe it was that his head was still fuzzy, or maybe it was the fact that this changed everything he had believed about the Doctor.

 

“Why?” he asked simply.

 

The Doctor focused his brown eyes on Jack, and for a minute everything else faded away.  The answer to this was so important to him.

 

Looking as uncertain as Jack had ever seen him, the Doctor said, “I, I don’t know really, it seemed like the thing to do.  I’m sorry?”

 

Jack shook his head.  “Doctor, why?  You hate how I am.”

 

“I don’t, not any more.”  He looked miserable.  “After everything you’ve been through, it seemed wrong for you to die like that.  You should be able to choose when and if it happens.”

 

The Doctor moved around in front of Jack and cupped Jack’s face between his hands.  “Jack, don’t die for me again.  You have your own destiny, which is as important as mine, and in the long run may be more important.  Live, Captain.  Live as long as you can.”

 

Jack was having difficulty breathing through the emotion that was choking his throat.  “You mean that,” he whispered.

 

“Yeah.”  The Doctor nodded briefly, his eyes shining with something that warmed Jack’s heart.  “I do.”

 

Straining to move on his own, Jack sat up and leaned away from Gwen’s support to rest with his chest against the Doctor’s.  The other man’s arms came up around him and held him securely.

 

Clinging for all he was worth, his forehead pressed to the Doctor’s neck, Jack managed to say, “Do you know what that means to me?”

 

Jack couldn’t see his face, but he could hear a smile coming back into the Doctor’s voice.  “I have a pretty good idea.”  Then, “I’m sorry I hurt you for so long.  This change happened to you, Jack, it was never your fault.  It was a gift Rose gave you because she loved you.   And while you may be an impossible thing, you’re also amazing.  Who am I to say it wasn’t part of the universe’s great cosmic plan.”

 

The pleasure of hearing that infused warmth through Jack’s body.  This acknowledgement was something he never expected to hear from the Doctor; it the closest he was ever likely to get to an apology for all that had happened.

 

Owen’s sarcastic voice broke into the moment.  “I’m sure this is all very touching, but I still want to know what it was that killed him just now.  Who was that man?”

 

Jack sat up on his own, feeling physically stronger even as his emotions were wide open.  He made an effort to pull himself together, and remembered where he had seen the man before.

 

“He’s one of the Master’s scientists.”

 

The Doctor looked at him quizzically.  “The Master?”

 

Jack nodded.  “The Master took the rumour that Martha was searching for a weapon capable of killing a Time Lord very seriously.  He had a team of scientists on the Valiant researching how that might be done because he wanted to defend against it.”

 

The Doctor looked affronted.  “Why didn’t I know about this?”

 

“He was keeping it secret for obvious reasons.  The Master didn’t want anyone using their discoveries against him.  He was a paranoid bastard.  I only knew about it because…”  Jack went quiet.

 

Frowning, the Doctor ordered, “Tell me.”

 

After a glance at his team, Jack turned back to the Doctor.  “Because the Master let them use me to experiment on.  These were your standard mad scientist types.  They liked to gloat and tell me all about how brilliant they were, even as they were torturing me.”

 

The Doctor stood up and turned away, but not before Jack caught the look on his face.  Yeah, Jack thought at his back, more went on than even you know.

 

Fiddling with a knob on the console, the Doctor asked, “And you didn’t say anything about it after?”

 

“There was no point.  I didn’t think they had really come up with anything useful.  And I thought the scientists had all been dealt with.  I guess I was wrong.”

 

“It does look that way, yes,” the Doctor complained.

 

“I’m guessing that one got away and finished the project.  It sounded like he blamed you for the Master’s death and wanted revenge.”

 

Jack explained to the Torchwood team, “The Master, Harold Saxon to you, was bat-shit insane, but he could inspire incredible loyalty in people who were mentally unstable themselves.  That’s why so many were willing to help him destroy the Earth.  In some cases there was a kind of hypnosis involved, but others were there because they wanted to be.”

 

The Doctor didn’t say anything, and Jack frowned.  He wasn’t referring to the Doctor’s attachment to the other Time Lord, but his comment could be taken that way.

 

Owen asked, “So what is it that can kill Time Lords and apparently Jack, too?”

 

The Doctor shook his head.  “I have no idea.  Something in the bullet seemed to absorb the Time Vortex within Jack into itself.  I don’t know how it works, and I can’t get close enough to it to find out.  And it must never come near the Tardis.”

 

Suddenly alarmed, Jack asked sharply, “Where is it?”

 

Owen shrugged.  “I dropped it out on the Plass somewhere.”

 

“Find it,” Jack ordered.  “Put it in a secure containment vessel, one of the heavy duty ones, and put it in my safe for now.”

 

He would deal with it personally.  It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his team, it was just that he didn’t trust them a whole lot.  He did not want them having access to a way to kill the Doctor permanently, or himself either.  They might have an off day and decide it would be a good idea to use it.

 

He would have to find out if the scientist had any more friends out there, too, and if there was more of this dangerous material.  He would find a way to destroy it all.  No threat to the Doctor would be allowed to remain.

 

Just thinking about the work involved made him feel suddenly tired.

 

Perceptively, the Doctor said, “You look knackered.  Let’s get you to your room so you can rest a bit.”

 

His room.  His room on the Tardis.  He would never get tired of that concept.  He still belonged here, in a small way, and that meant everything to him.  He wasn’t unaware of how pathetic that sounded, but he’d gotten used to being pathetic about the Doctor long ago.

 

Owen and Ianto hauled him to his feet, and continued supporting him between them when his legs turned out to be not quite up to the task.  He was exhausted.  Shattered.  Wrecked.  Maybe a little in shock.  But he was alive; a miracle in more than one way.

 

As they followed the Doctor into the hallway, Jack noticed that Owen was looking around avidly, trying to memorise everything about the alien spaceship that he could.

 

At the same time, he felt Ianto’s attention on himself.  Poor earnest, long-suffering Ianto.  It was part of the human tragedy, or comedy depending on how you looked at it, how often the people we loved didn’t love us back the way we wanted them to.  What he could give Ianto was very limited, and the man deserved better.

 

Jack was seriously fading by the time they got to his room and heaved him onto his bed.  He had just enough energy to say to the faces hovering around him, “Play nice, kids,” before he fell into a deep sleep.

 

++++++

 

 

Gwen had been awake all night, and by her watch it was getting near to morning.    She sat in a chair on one side of Jack’s bed, and the Doctor sat fidgeting on the other side.  Yes, it was an opportunity to question the famous ‘Doctor’, but she was pretty close to being overloaded with everything she had experienced and learnt in the last few hours, so they sat in silence.

 

She was nodding off a little, and snapped her head up when she heard Jack say her name.

 

Gwen leaned forward to study his face, which was still pale and strained.  His blue eyes were clear, though, and he looked so much better than he had. 

 

“Are you all right?” she asked with concern, wanting to hear it from him.

 

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I’m going to be fine.  Good as new.”  Then he moved his arm out to one side, creating a space between it and his body.

 

Gwen didn’t hesitate to accept the invitation.  She crawled onto the bed and snuggled in, her arm across his chest and her head on his shoulder.  It felt good to hold him close, so sturdy and warm.

 

Then he asked, “The Doctor?”

 

“Right here, Jack.”

 

Jack turned his head and looked up to see the Doctor, and Gwen lifted her head a bit to watch.  Jack smiled and held out his other arm in the same way.  “Hey, Doc.  There’s room for you to come have a cuddle too.”

 

The Doctor smiled back at him, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed where Jack could see him better.  “I think we’ll hold off on the cuddling, for now.  You look good, though.”  The two men held each other’s eyes for a long moment.

 

Then Jack turned back to Gwen.  “Are the others okay?”

 

“Yes.  They’ve gone home to get some rest.”

 

“That’s what you should do, too,” Jack admonished.

 

“We didn’t want to leave you alone.  We’re going to take turns sitting with you until you’re back on your feet.”

 

“I’m not alone.  The Doctor’s here.”

 

Gwen looked at the Time Lord, her eyes narrowed with suspicion.  “That’s exactly why we’re going to be here, too.”

 

The Doctor chuckled and said dryly, “I just ignored all my principles, instincts and deeply held beliefs in order to save his life.  What do you think I’m going to do to him?”

 

“I don’t know, you could have a nefarious scheme.”

 

Jack snorted.  “Tell me you didn’t just say that.”

 

“Well, he could,” she insisted.  “He could spirit you off in his space ship to god knows where and have his wicked way with you.”

 

“I wish,” Jack laughed.  Then he said, “Seriously, you should go home and get some rest.  Give your boyfriend a big snog.  Then I need all of you back at Torchwood.  Just because I’m not there doesn’t mean that there won’t be threats to deal with.  I need you and Owen and Tosh and Ianto to hold down the fort until I get back.  Placate the politicians and whatnot.”

 

Frowning, Gwen conceded, “All right.”  But she lay her head back down on his shoulder and tightened her arm around him.  He rubbed her back gently, and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

 

After a moment of silence, Jack said to the Doctor, “Thank you for what you did, bringing me back again.  I don’t understand it, but I am grateful.”

 

“It was the least I could do.  It would be wrong for you to be killed by one of the Master’s people after you survived the year on the Valiant.”

 

Jack had refused to tell them much about what happened after Saxon became Prime Minister and the American president was killed.  Gwen and the others had seen the TV replays of that incident, and had seen Jack and the Doctor there in the foreground, Jack being killed as usual, so they knew he was right in the middle of those world changing events.  They’d seen that Jack, the Doctor and a woman named Martha Jones were briefly wanted as terrorists.  And they knew that a year had passed that only those who were on the Valiant remembered. 

 

She’d learnt more about that year in the last few hours than Jack had told them in the months since it happened, and none of it was good.  She couldn’t help listening avidly for any detail she could get.

 

“I’m aware of what you did for us,” the Doctor continued.  “How you tried to keep the Master’s interest focused on you.  It’s taken a long time for me to be able to face that, actually.”

 

“You say it like I had a choice,” Jack said tiredly.

 

The Doctor was deadly serious.  “You had a choice.  You’ve always had a choice about how you respond to what happens to you.  You’ve never given up.  You’ve never broken.  You’ve never run away.  I admire that more than I can say.”

 

Gwen could feel Jack’s heart pounding under her head, and hear his breath catch with emotion.

 

“Like when the Master aged me,” the Doctor went on, “you had the teleport device.  You could have left, or gone with Martha.  But you gave it to her and stayed, knowing what might happen.”

 

“Of course I did,” Jack said.  “I couldn’t leave you there alone with him.”

 

The Doctor picked up Jack’s hand and wove their fingers together.  He said softly, “That’s exactly what I mean.  Bravery like that exceeds what I ever would have expected.  That was the moment things started to change between us, but I didn’t catch on right away.”

 

Jack smiled.  “Well, you were kind of distracted with saving the world.”

 

Then Gwen got it.  No matter how concerned she was about what it might mean for Jack to be with the Doctor, the two of them had history, and they had things they needed to work out.  As much as she wanted to know what had happened, she needed to leave them alone to do it. 

 

Gwen levered herself up, and the two men stared at her as though they had forgotten she was there.  She leaned down and kissed Jack’s cheek.  “Come back when you can, Jack.”

 

“I will,” he said.  “And tell everyone thank you for me.”

 

She nodded, stood and walked to the door.  As she was leaving, she looked back.  Jack and the Doctor were still holding hands and were once again staring into each other’s eyes.  She didn’t want to lose Jack, but a sad resignation was creeping over her.  

 

But there was work to do, and she would do it for Jack.

 

+++++++

 

 

Jack dozed on and off for the most of the day, slowly getting his strength back.  Most of the time when he woke the Doctor was nearby with a drink or a snack.  Eventually he awoke alone and felt rested and restless enough to get up and shower.  In the closet he found a pair of jeans and a blue dress shirt from when he was first on the Tardis and got dressed, not bothering to tuck the shirt in.

 

He wandered bare footed out to the control room, where he found the Doctor making tea at the sideboard.

 

“Oh,” the Doctor exclaimed when he noticed Jack.  “I was just going to bring you a cuppa.”

 

“That sounds great, Doctor, thanks.”

 

Jack went over to the control console and placed his hand on a panel.  “Thank you, pretty lady.  You are indeed the best time ship in the universe, bar none.  I love you madly.”

 

There was a whirring noise and Jack grinned.

 

“Oi!” came the expected exclamation from the Doctor.  “Stop flirting with my Tardis.”

 

Jack ran a finger sensually down the panel in between two rows of buttons, and the Tardis whirred again.

 

“You’re making her purr!” the Doctor accused.

 

Continuing to stroke the ship, Jack shot the Doctor a sly look.  “I think she deserves an extra bit of thanks.  You’re just jealous.”

 

Jack was pretty sure that was what was behind the Doctor’s objections every time Jack looked at, much less flirted with someone that wasn’t him.  He was so jealous he couldn’t stand it.

 

“You’re just shameless,” the Doctor countered.  “Getting people all worked up.  And not-people, too!”  He handed Jack a cup of tea prepared how he liked it; milk, no sugar.

 

“It’s harmless,” Jack explained.  “Everyone likes being told they’re attractive and wanted.  It makes them feel good, even if it never goes beyond that.  I like doing it.”

 

The Doctor’s face turned pensive.  “Yeah, I can see that.  You make it look easy, but it’s not, really.”

 

“Why not?” Jack asked, honestly curious.

 

“Saying things like that out loud…” he grimaced.  “I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I know it isn’t good to wait too long to say, to tell.  Someone.  What they mean.  It leaves you with regrets.  But saying it…” he shook his head and made a horrified noise.  “Brrrrr!”

 

“Well,” Jack offered, “I’ve always made it pretty clear how I felt about you.  You can take your turn and practice on me.”

 

The Doctor cocked his head.  “It’s complicated.”

 

“Take your time.  I’ve got plenty of it.”

 

The Doctor frowned, his eyebrows drawing together.  “You were my companion,” he said almost accusingly.

 

“Yeah, I was for a while.  That much I knew, thanks.”

 

“It’s important,” the Doctor argued.  “I’m a Time Lord, even though I look human.  You know I think humans are brilliant, but the reality is that I am a different magnitude of creature.  Companions rarely comprehend that.  They think of me as kind of a fairy godfather, come to take them on adventures to other planets and eras, and they tend to ignore that I’m fundamentally different.

 

“Because of that difference, humans all seem frightfully young to me, like children almost.  Even you when we first met.”  The Doctor began pacing, his hands in his pockets and a scowl on his face.  “Humans bruise and break so easily and in so many ways.  I’m responsible for them, and I could hurt them without meaning to.   I’m a figure of authority to them.  It would be abusive to have them as sex partners, like being a paedophile.”  He shuddered.  “I don’t exactly feel good about myself when I feel attracted to a companion, and then you and Rose were with me at the same time!  Had some difficulty with that.  And yes, I’m aware that I hurt companions by not responding when they think they want me, but it could be so much worse.  I can’t take the risk.”

 

Jack listened to the Doctor thoughtfully, noting with a thrill that when asked to speak about how he felt about Jack, the answer had turned to sex.  Then he asked, “Yet you’ve come back for me now.  Was it only to talk?”

 

The Doctor blinked and swallowed.  Then he said carefully, “Well, you’re a bit more than human now, aren’t you.  You’ve lived enough that no one could call you a child.  You’ve never needed me to show you the universe, you had already done that on your own.  And too, your ability to understand and work with advanced technology is first rate, so you don’t depend on me to rescue you from sticky situations.  In fact, I know I can depend on you.  And now I can’t hurt you, at least not physically.” 

 

He looked Jack up and down, not lasciviously, but with appreciation.  “You’re a strong man, Jack.  Your way of dealing with things is a bit more violent than mine, but I’ve realised that it’s time to get over feeling responsible for you, because in some ways you’re stronger than I am.  It would be a disservice to you to keep you in a subordinate position.”  He grinned.  “So you can stop calling me sir anytime.” 

 

Then shrugging and feigning casualness, he said, “And of course there’s the fact that I can’t stop thinking about you.  I keep thinking that something would make you laugh, or imagine what you would say.  Bloody annoying, really.”

 

Jack had lived long enough and known enough different kinds of people to have a good ability to read between the lines, to see what someone needed, even if they didn’t quite know it themselves.  He thought that the Doctor was saying he needed a partner who made it clear that he or she was an equal, or even in charge, but that at the same time the Doctor was terrified of losing control.  It meant the Doctor had to trust someone on many levels before he would let them close; trust them to be able to take care of themselves and of him. 

 

It seemed the Doctor was saying that he trusted Jack that much.

 

As far as Jack was concerned the situation was clear, and it filled him with a wolfish joy.  He set down the tea cup, crossed the space between them and backed the Doctor up against the console.  Placing one hand at the nape of the Doctor’s neck, with the other cupping his cheek, he positioned the wide-eyed face exactly where he wanted it.  Jack leaned in and briefly brought his lips to the Doctor’s, a promise of more to come.

 

There was one last thing Jack needed to know.  He murmured, “Tell me why, Doctor.  A real answer.  Why did you make me immortal again, when the Tardis could have brought me back as a regular human?”

 

Their faces no more than five centimetres apart, their breath mingling, the Doctor answered with a strained undertone, “You, Jack?  Suddenly mortal?  The way you throw yourself in front of bullets and casually sacrifice yourself for others, you wouldn’t last a week. Wouldn’t be much point, really.  Are you sorry I did?”

 

Jack shook his head without releasing his hold or increasing the distance between them.  “No.  If I were mortal I’d have to learn to make compromises to survive.  So not my style.  Someday I’ll be ready to go, but not today.  I’m very glad to be alive today.”

 

Feeling his blood stir with anticipation, Jack moved his mouth over the Doctor’s, a proper full-on kiss that expressed how really, really glad he was to be alive.  Their tongues brushed, and Jack breathed in the gasp that his passion elicited from the Time Lord.  After a moment, he felt the Doctor respond with tentative pats on his back and smiled.  The Doctor hadn’t quite gotten with the program, but he was moving inescapably in that direction.

 

Pulling his mouth away, the Doctor huffed warningly, “Jack.”

 

No, it was time for the other man to get over himself.  “You said it yourself, Doctor.  I’m not a child anymore.  I’m strong enough to love you.” He stroked his hands down the Doctor’s sides, gentling him like a horse.  Holding the Doctor’s eyes, he whispered, “Trust me.”

 

The Doctor blinked a few times, taking that in.  Jack saw the beginnings of acceptance in his eyes and stepped closer, so that their bodies were barely brushing together, which increased their awareness of each other more than full physical contact would.  Heat and yearning permeated the space between them, and he lightly touched his lips to the Doctor’s throat below his ear, then brushed them along the Doctor’s jaw line.  Jack felt an electrical current snap wherever they touched, and his own arousal was already very evident.

 

The Doctor looked somewhat stupefied with his mouth open and eyes blinking at Jack in dazed wonder.  His pupils were dilated, though, and desire shone on his face, though it was still hesitant.

 

Jack used his lips to maintain the connection between them, moving them over the Doctor’s face and neck.  He nibbled and licked and murmured, and when he finally felt the tension disappear from the Doctor’s body, he stepped back and took the Doctor’s hand.

 

“Come with me,” he ordered, and led the Doctor into the hallway.  If the Doctor needed him to take charge, he had no problem doing that.  There would be no more second guessing or waiting for permission.  If the Doctor didn’t want this he could stop it, but Jack didn’t think he would.

 

The Doctor still hadn’t said anything by the time they reached Jack’s room and the door closed behind them.  Jack slid the suit coat off the other man’s shoulders and threw it onto a chair.

 

“Oh, ah,” the Doctor sputtered.

 

“And you’re usually so articulate,” Jack said with a grin as he moved to initiate a kiss.  “Usually can’t shut you up.”  Wrapping his arms around the slim frame of the man he had wanted for more than a century, Jack enjoyed the feeling of the Doctor melting against him as the kiss deepened.

 

When they parted, the Doctor took a deep breath and stood up straighter, visibly pulling himself together.  “Well, sometimes there are better things to do with your mouth than talk,” he said with a hint of cheeky challenge.

 

Jack grinned.  “I’ve always thought so.”

 

His hands on the Doctor’s arms, he steered him backward towards the bed, and eased him onto the mattress.  Jack settled himself straddling the Doctor’s hips and looked down at the sparkling brown eyes.  Different from the blue eyes that had haunted him in memory for so many years, but behind them was the same spirit and keen intelligence.  The things that Jack loved.

 

Jack could feel himself shifting into a zone where everything became a sensual haze.  It was all about connecting with the person he cared for; reading their wants and needs, and fulfilling them to the best of his ability.  He wasn’t surprised to find that his awareness of the Doctor was especially intense.

 

Attentive to his lover’s every reaction, Jack splayed his hands on the Doctor’s chest, feeling the crisp white cotton shirt beneath them.  He moved them slowly up over the collar bones and across his shoulders, then back down, lower, over his abdomen to the waistline of the Doctor’s trousers.

 

It was simple touch, but the Doctor was already responding; breath hitching, body straining up toward Jack.  Sometimes, when someone had been repressing their desires long enough, it didn’t take much to break through.

 

Jack repeated the motion, even slower, feeling the pounding of the Doctor’s hearts, each contour of bone and muscle, and the energy radiating from his body, cool to the touch as it was.  He let his hands ghost lightly over the bulge at the other man’s groin, and the Doctor arched his back, letting out a pained groan.  The Doctor’s arousal made Jack’s head spin, and he grazed his fingers possessively along the hard length beneath the material.

 

Not too fast, he reminded himself.  Patience.

 

Running his hands up the Doctor’s sides and under his shoulder blades to grip his shoulders, Jack leaned forward and kissed the Doctor again.  He shifted to rest his weight on the other man, his legs open and framing his lover’s.  In addition to eliminating most of the Doctor’s ability to move, this had the happy effect of pressing their erections together.

 

The Doctor growled and squirmed, and Jack began to rock his pelvis slowly, rubbing hardness against hardness.  He was aware of the taste of the Doctor’s mouth, the cool stroke of his tongue, the ragged sound of his breathing.  Jack felt fluid, like his whole self was enveloping the Doctor, flowing around him to take in every jerk of muscle, every gasp, every moment of the Doctor straining to be closer to him.

 

Because of who they were and how much space they had always kept between them, what they were doing was incredibly intimate even thought they were still completely clothed.  Before, Jack watched and wanted, not daring to overstep the boundaries.  The Doctor would dodge and grin, then turn away.  Now there were no barriers or avoidance.

 

Jack had never allowed himself to believe that what they were doing was even possible; his whole body pressed against the Doctor, the Doctor gripping Jack’s arse like his life depended on it.  It was astonishing and beautiful, and it made him so happy he wanted to laugh.

 

The Doctor, though, was trembling violently.  Jack thought that it had probably been a long, long time since he had allowed himself this kind of physical contact, which was a shame.  He wanted to make it good, but doubted the Doctor could hold out very long with this strong of a reaction.

 

Running his hands down the Doctor’s arms, he grasped the other man’s wrists and pulled them up to press them into the mattress beside his head, immobilizing him further.  The Doctor’s whimpers became more strident and the heat between their groins increased.  The man who had generally presented himself as asexual was hot and desperate for him.  It was a rush, but also a responsibility, and Jack held his own desire to take and have in check. 

 

Jack pushed harder, increasing the friction where their cocks rubbed roughly against each other.  The Doctor began to pant rapidly, and Jack lifted his head enough to watch his face, which held an expression of ecstatic abandon that he could not have imagined in fantasy.  Their eyes locked, making it all feel even more real.  Captain Jack Harkness and the Doctor.  In that moment they were no longer who they had been, but had become something new together.

 

The Doctor’s face contorted and his hips pressed urgently up into Jack, who used his strength to force them back down.

 

The Doctor responded to that with a sharp, loud cry of, “Ah!” and suddenly stopped writhing under him, and his eyes closed with the pleasure of release.  Feeling tremendously smug, Jack grinned triumphantly; he’d just made the Doctor come in his pants.

 

Jack was close to doing the same thing, but that wasn’t what he wanted.  He sat up, once again straddling the Doctor’s hips, then unzipped the fly of his jeans.  He drew his cock out and began to stroke it, looking down on his prize, his ultimate success: the Doctor’s relaxed, blissful face.

 

Recovering from his orgasm, the Doctor opened his eyes and looked up at Jack.  His unhurried gaze travelled down to Jack’s rhythmically moving hand, then back up.  He watched Jack’s face intently, his eyes ablaze with heat.

 

Under the Doctor’s gaze Jack’s breath caught and he rushed toward climax, his stroke quickening.  The Doctor reached up and lay his fingertips on the crown of Jack’s cock, and that touch, the very idea of it, pushed Jack over the edge.  His head fell back and he groaned as his come pulsed out onto the Doctor’s clean white shirt.

 

When he began to come down from the high, Jack shifted to lie beside the Doctor, who turned on his side so they were facing each other.  As they looked at each other languidly, there was a warmth and ease between them that had never been there before, and they both smiled.  Both on the same page, finally.

 

After a moment the Doctor said, “That was bloody marvellous.  Not quite what I expected though, I must say.”

 

Jack chuckled.  “You thought I would just bend you over the control console and fuck you right there.”

 

The Doctor’s eyes darkened.  “The thought had crossed my mind, yeah.”

 

Jack grinned.  One day he would do that.  There would be bare skin and teeth and lube and toys.  He would do everything with the Doctor that two males could do.  Jack knew he would give him everything.

 

But not all at once.  The Doctor would appreciate it more if he had to wait for it.  He would want it too much to let his over-thinking brain interfere.

 

And Jack had learned over the years that sometimes immediate gratification wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.  Make every day the best day of your life, yes, but don’t be greedy and try to swallow everything you crave in one bite.  Jack rarely asked for anything for himself, but he wanted this and he would do everything possible to make sure it lasted a long time.

 

Jack pushed the Doctor onto his back, settled his head on the waiting shoulder, and curled his body around the Doctor’s, entwining their limbs.  He sighed with contentment and relaxed, already looking forward to taking it a little further in the morning. 

 

“All in good time, Doctor.”

 

++++++

 

 

The Doctor and Jack walked slowly across the Plass.  The Doctor didn’t want this to end. 

 

“Are you sure you won’t come with me?” he asked hopefully.

 

Jack stopped and looked at him seriously.  “Do you really need me for something?”

 

No easy answer there.  “Yes.  No.  It’s just always better to have someone else along.  It would be better to have you along.”

 

“That’s what I thought.  I appreciate the invitation, but no.  They need me here.”

 

The Doctor wasn’t ready to give up yet.  “What if I do need you one day, when lives are in imminent peril?”

 

 Jack cocked his head and grinned.  “Then ask me again.  A fella likes to be asked.”

 

Relieved that it wasn’t a definitive no, the Doctor smiled.  “Well, that’s better than a poke in the eye.  Leaves some room for hope.”   He stepped closer to the man he wanted to win over, and said in a low voice, “And what if I just want you, Jack?  What then?”

 

Jack gave him one of those blinding, gazillion megawatt smiles that always made his stomach flutter.  “Definitely ask.  You might get lucky.”

 

The Doctor rocked on his heels, hands locked behind his back.  “I’m a very lucky man.  Known for it.  In fact, I feel a surge of good luck coming on very soon.”

 

Jack grabbed the Doctor’s hips, pulled him close so that their bodies pressed together, and kissed him lightly on the lips.

 

“You’re special to me, Doctor.  You always will be.  Don’t stay away long.”

 

Returning to and deepening the sexy, mind-melting kiss, Jack’s hands slid up the Doctor’s back, his arms wrapping him in a strong embrace.  The Doctor, in turn, held Jack close, savouring the contact for as long as he could. 

 

After a moment they broke apart.  With a final flirtatious wink, Jack said, “See you around, Doc,” turned, and walked away.

 

The Doctor called after the retreating figure, “Yeah, you will.  When you least expect it, there I’ll be, just like a Decarlian fermlat.  Ran into one once, great story.”  Failing to recapture Jack’s attention, he trailed off.  At least he’d gotten the last word.

 

Returning to the Tardis, he felt lighter than he had in a long time.  He hadn’t gotten everything he wanted, but he’d done bloody well.  He was getting a second chance with Jack, one that he wasn’t sure he deserved but wasn’t about to question.  And there was no denying it, even to himself; the Doctor was falling in love.

 

++++++

 

 

Everyone scrambled back to their desks, desperately pretending that they hadn’t all been watching the scene playing out on the monitor. 

 

Jack was smiling when he came in, a rare enough occurrence, and started looking through case files that were scattered on top of a filing cabinet.

 

“So,” Owen said.  “The Doctor’s gone, then.”

 

“Yup,” Jack replied, not looking up.  Still smiling.

 

“I’ll make tea,” Ianto announced, and headed for the kitchen.

 

Gwen and Tosh shared a relieved look.  Gwen knew Jack wouldn’t tell them all the juicy details, but she’d been hoping for a few hints, a titbit of information.  It didn’t look like that was going to happen.

 

But the fact that Jack was there was enough for the moment. 

 

 

 

End

 

 

 

 

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