Title:  Not So Bad

Author:  Joolz

Feedback:  If you like J  [email protected]

Category:  Slash, First Time, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Action/Adventure

Rating:  NC-17

Pairing:  Clark/Lex

Season 2, Spoilers for:  Pilot, Cool, Stray, Lineage, Ryan, Prodigal, Fever

Summary:  It’s a difficult time to be Lex Luthor, but it’s not all bad.

Notes: Goes AU after Fever.  My first Smallville fic!  Many thanks to Lady Ra and Peach for the valuable beta work! 

Warnings:  m/m sex, though not a lot; discussion of child abuse, drugs and violence; implied incest

Disclaimer:  Not my lovely characters, just playing with them.

 

~~*~~

 

Not So Bad

 

 

When Lex became aware of Clark standing in the doorway, he folded the cloth back over the top of the bundle on his desk. 

 

“Clark,” he acknowledged without looking up.

 

The boy moved through the room toward him, as usual seeming to take up more space than he actually did.  It always felt to Lex as though Clark brought sunlight into a room with him, knocking the foundation out from under whatever shadowy mental edifice he was calling home at the moment.  He wished that his friend hadn’t chosen to stop by on this particular evening, because he had settled into the darkness quite comfortably.

 

The resplendent Clark Kent, in his ubiquitous red and blue Kansas casual plumage, pulled a metal and leather chair over and sat down next to Lex at the desk.

 

“Hey, Lex.  What’re you doing?”

 

“Just quietly contemplating the meaning of life at the end of a full and successful day.”

 

“You don’t look so good.  Did something happen?”

 

Lex snorted softly.  “Oh, no.  The rebel offspring has achieved another victory over the venerable patriarch on the battlefield of modern commerce.”

 

“You beat your dad at something.”

 

“Hail to the vanquishing hero.”

 

Clark’s handsome face scrunched in confusion.  “Then why don’t you look happy?  You’re usually in the mood to celebrate when things go your way.”

 

Lex leaned back in his chair, keeping his eyes on the glass desktop in front of him. 

 

“Allow me to explain.  The shipping firm that has been transporting fertilizer from my plant to market is a subsidiary of LuthorCorp.  Since it would be a very bad idea to allow my father to control the distribution of my primary product, or potential lack thereof, I’ve been in negotiations to acquire a freight company of my own.  My father, never willing to release any of the strings binding me to him without a fight, not only tried to block the acquisition, but took the opportunity to once again attempt a hostile takeover of LexCorp while my assets were stretched.  I’ve spent the last three days in a good, old-fashioned swashbuckling swordfight to the death.  And guess what?  I won.”

 

Clark waited for him to continue, watching him with those big, green, intense eyes.  Those enormous, gorgeous, serious, green eyes.

 

 “Why, then, am I not flying my colors in triumph, you might ask?  I got what I wanted.”  He finally turned to look directly at Clark.  “Yes, I got what I wanted.  And people got hurt.  Innocent people who happened to be caught between my father and myself got hurt.  Collateral damage in the battle of the titans.”

 

“What happened?”

 

He went on tiredly, “I started looking at two different companies, one in Edge City and one in Grandville, even though I only ever intended to purchase one of them.  My father didn’t know which I was serious about, so he went after both.  Dad and I marshaled supporters in both companies’ board rooms and unions.  We set them against each other, and under the cover of their internal struggles I completed my deal with one and cut the other loose.  As you may be aware, Teamsters aren’t known for their subtlety and tact.  Four men are in the hospital tonight.  Several more, I’m not even sure how many, have lost their livelihoods.  But I got what I wanted, so all’s well that ends well, right?”  Bitterness choked his throat as he spoke.

 

“But Lex, you didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt, did you?”

 

“No, it wasn’t my intention, but I let it happen.  I took advantage of violence that my machinations had fostered in order to further my own ends.  As my father taught me, I kept my eye on the goal and didn’t get distracted by peripheral turbulence.  In his own way, Dad is probably very proud of me tonight.  I get more like him every day.”

 

Clark insisted, “You’re not like him.”

 

“Oh?  How can you assert that when the results of my actions speak for themselves?  Furthermore, it wouldn’t be accurate to say that I enjoy engaging in this kind of battle with my father.  It would be more correct to say that I relish it.  I get high on adrenalin like any good warrior and feel the ecstasy of the kill, even though I know the victory is only temporary.  Tomorrow we’ll be back at each other’s throats, round and round, never shall it end.”

 

“Well, one way you aren’t like your father is that I doubt he’s sitting in the dark feeling guilty about the way it happened.  You care about people, Lex, even if you can’t always protect them.  It sounds like some of the people who got hurt maybe weren’t so innocent.  They got involved for their own reasons.  And why do I suspect that you’re covering hospital bills and making sure families are taken care of?”

 

“That’s beside the point.”

 

“I don’t think so.  But Lex, if you don’t want to end up like your father, then don’t do it.  Don’t play his game.  Find another way.”

 

Anger welled up through Lex’s body, pushing aside the exhaustion that had settled on him earlier.  He snapped at Clark, “That’s simplistic.  I can’t get away.  Not now, not ever.  I talk like I’m an equal in this battle, but I’m not.  I’m a prisoner, trapped with the sword in my hand for all eternity.  I set myself on this road and now I have to live with it.”

 

Clark was confused again.  “I don’t understand.”

 

“Clark, do you know what will happen the day I surrender or try to leave the field of battle?  My father’s first action will be to close the plant, just on principle.  Just because he can.  Just because he knows I care.  Clark, I have 2,500 people relying on me for jobs in this one plant alone, not to mention the economy of the entire county.  The more seriously I take that obligation, like trying to make sure LuthorCorp can’t blackmail us with trucking strikes, the more people become my responsibility.  The harder I have to work to protect them.  The more lines my father will push me over in order to do it.  The more I’ll become what he wants; like him. 

 

“Maybe I should just cut my losses and walk away now.  I’m barely twenty-two years old.  I could find another life for myself.  At least the damage would be limited to Smallville.  The longer I wait, the greater the potential destruction if I slip up.”  Lex sighed and faced the truth.  “But I can’t walk away, Clark.  This is who I am.  The only real protection is to become more powerful than my father.  Do you see the conflict?  Do you see why there’s no way out?  Why it’s so…”

 

Clark grimaced and offered a word.  “Hopeless?”

 

Lex’s anger deflated and he slumped in his chair.  “Yes.  Hopeless.”

 

The boy shifted closer.  “Is that why you’re thinking about…that?”  He motioned to the small package on the desk.  “Because you think it’s hopeless?”

 

Lex reached out and casually drew the cloth back to reveal a syringe, a spoon, a lighter, and a small packet of white powder.

 

He answered sadly, “Horse makes you feel good, Clark, really good.  Like there are no problems that need to be taken seriously.  Like you can do or be anything you want.  I just want to not feel like myself tonight.  I don’t want to be me, just for a little while.”

 

Clark thought for a minute before replying.  Lex was curious to know how the farm boy would react to having hard drugs right under his nose.  It was certainly something his young friend had no exposure to except for being taught it was wrong, wrong, wrong.  Then again, sometimes Clark could surprise him.  He was one of the few people who could.

 

Eventually, Clark spoke, not addressing the drugs at all, “Lex, you know I don’t understand a lot of what happens between you and your father, or business in general, but I can’t see that there’s really anything wrong with being you.  I know that these business things hurt you and sometimes I want to throw your dad through those stained-glass windows, but you’re so much more than that.  You’re better than that.  You just won’t let yourself see it.”

 

“You’re right, I don’t see it.  Enlighten me.”

 

“That you care enough about the people of this town to fight for them is a good thing, especially when you get nothing back but abuse from people who can’t see beyond your name.  And you do a lot of things that have nothing to do with corporate responsibilities.  Your father may hurt people just because he can, but you help people just because you can.  It may sound corny, but you really are my hero, Lex.”

 

“You must be confused, Clark.  There’s only one hero in this room and it isn’t me.  Ask anyone.”

 

“I can’t because hardly anyone is really paying attention.  Like for example, you stopped the doctors from taking Ryan back to Summerholt when I couldn’t do anything about it.  People made a big deal about how I was able to catch Dr. Burton at the airport when his plane was delayed, and bring him back to treat Ryan, but Lex, you were the one who found the doctor in the first place so that I could go after him.  You didn’t have to do that.  And then when I wanted to take Ryan up in a hot air balloon.…  I wouldn’t have known how to begin to arrange something like that, but you just asked when and where, and made it happen.  You have no idea how much that meant to me, to both of us.  You didn’t ask for any thanks, or for anything in return.  You do the same for pretty much anyone who comes to you.  If that isn’t being a hero, I don’t know what is.”

 

Clark’s earnest face was entrancing.  It made Lex want to believe.  “Your friendship is more than enough reward for anything I can do to help out.  Lifting a phone to my ear doesn’t really compare to tackling a woman with an axe who’s about to split my head open.”

 

A blinding smile flashed on the younger man’s face.  “I guess we’re just good at different things.  I don’t know what the answer is about your business, but I do believe that you can find a way to do what you need to without becoming your father.  That’s why we’re friends.  Can you honestly imagine me being friends with Lionel Luthor?”

 

The thought boggled Lex’s mind.  In fact, the mere idea of Clark and his father being in the same room together gave him the heeby-geebies.  He had to smile back.  “No, I can’t see that.”

 

“Well, there you go!  My friend Lex must be a pretty okay guy.  It must not be so bad to be him.”

 

Lex’s smile faded.  “You’re willfully ignoring the rest of it.  The times I do whatever I want regardless of the effects on other people, just because of intellectual curiosity or my own desire for power.  But all right.  You win for now.”

 

He re-wrapped the paraphernalia and stood to take the bundle to a wall safe.  Placing it inside, he closed the door and twisted the combination lock.

 

Leaning against the bookshelf, he asked, “So what brings you here, other than to practice amateur psychology?”

 

The pleased expression on Clark’s face transformed into a full-fledged smile.

 

“It’s a full moon tonight, and clear, so it’s almost like daylight out.  It’s gorgeous and I wanted to see if you felt like going for a run with me?”

 

Lex was tired and achy and his first thought was, ‘Not on your life.’  But the fatigue was mostly stress induced, and exercise would really be the best remedy.  He surveyed Clark’s blue sweat pants and red T-shirt.

 

“All right.  Sounds like a good idea.  I’ll go change.  Why don’t you let Mrs. Gibson know and the staff can have snacks ready for us when we get back.”

 

It took so little to make Clark’s face light up.  The promise of food usually did it.  If only everyone were so easy to please.

 

Clark bounced happily out of the room as Lex trudged up the stairs.  Minutes later the pair were stepping out a set of glass doors into the back garden. 

 

The instigator of the jaunt pointed up the hill at the back edge of the property.  “How about that way?”

 

After stretching a bit they headed into Lex’s estate, following a gravel path that led to the woods.  They took a lap around the pond as a warm-up.  Under the brilliant moonlight the permanently frozen surface looked enchanting rather than its usual unnatural creepiness. 

 

Following a rough track through the forest, they jogged side by side up the gentle incline.  It was indeed almost as bright as daylight, but the moon’s glow cast deep shadows, making Lex feel like he was passing through a surreal, magical landscape.  With the aid of endorphins, beauty and the presence of his friend by his side, he began to relax, letting his worries drift away like gossamer on the wind. 

 

As he moved, arms and legs pumping steadily, crisp air filling his lungs, Lex marveled that Clark had suggested the perfect thing to lift him out of his darkness.  He suspected that his friend was holding back his pace out of consideration for the poor businessman, but that was okay.  This wasn’t a competition, and Lex felt great using his body the way a man of his age should.  He was strong, and it was good to stretch his muscles after days of sitting behind a desk. 

 

The only way it could have been any better was if Clark showed some sign of effort.  A bead of sweat or a gulped breath.  But no, the teenager seemed to float beside him, his good natured face shining in the moonlight.

 

They ran in silence, letting the night sounds of the forest surround them.  At the edge of Lex’s estate they continued on into the bordering state park.  The gradient increased as they headed up one of the few hills in the county, toward the river gorge.  When they reached a plateau Lex had to pause for a minute to catch his breath while Clark jogged in place annoyingly.

 

Nodding further into the forest, the boy asked, “You want to go to the river?”

 

Lex grinned and took off without bothering to answer.  Crossing an access road, they followed the trail up the last slope to the rim of the gorge.  From there they dropped down a series of switchbacks, Lex in the lead.  The trail ended at the river’s edge, where boulders jutted out to break the flow of water, creating a series of small cascades.

 

Lex climbed onto a large, flat stone and sat, leaning back on his elbows.  Clark arranged himself with unconscious grace at his side.  It seemed that the only time the kid became awkward and clumsy was when he had to control his body rather than inhabit it, like when he was trying to blend in with his unremarkable peers.  Tonight he was like a agile feline.

 

Turning to him, Lex groused, “You aren’t the slightest bit winded.”

 

Clark just smirked and stretched back, pillowing his head on his arms.  “That’s what clean, country living will do for you.”

 

“Prick.”  His voice held enough affection to soften the word.

 

Laying back on the rock, Lex looked up at the sky, a swath of moon and starlight bracketed by the dark canyon walls.  It never would have occurred to him to come here at night, and now he knew what he’d been missing.  It was like they were far, far from Smallville.  Almost like another planet entirely.  A planet occupied by only the two of them.

 

In this setting Lex felt his mental barriers drop one after another.  He peeked at Clark out of the corners of his eyes and let himself appreciate the view without self-remonstration.  Clark was beyond gorgeous.  An artist couldn’t have designed a more beautiful face.  The pose and the mist-dampened T-shirt showed off the musculature of the young man’s arms and chest.  That same T-shirt had ridden up to expose a flat belly, the navel a tempting shadow. 

 

Lex had noticed Clark’s attractiveness from the moment he awoke on that other fateful river bank with the angelic form hovering over him.  Normally he quashed inappropriately admiring thoughts, but he indulged himself this one time.  The moonlight seemed to allow him to see the duality of Clark’s nature more clearly.  He looked ethereal, like a spiritual being too good for mundane human existence, and physical, grounded with raw sensuality, both at the same time.  An intriguing mystery to be solved and a valued friend.   Moral to a fault and a habitual, if poor, liar.  The most important person in Lex’s life.

 

Of course, the inner Clark was as remarkable as the outer Clark.  At that moment, for example, Lex could practically see the teenager’s mind working itself up to say something.  Probably something solemn and weighty.  He closed his eyes and waited.

 

Sure enough, after several minutes Clark broke the silence tentatively.  “Lex?”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“Would you do something for me?”

 

Not what he was anticipating.  Lex really didn’t want to ruin the moment by having to grant yet more favors, and his heart sank.  He answered as expected, however.

 

“Of course, Clark.  What do you need?”

 

He felt the boy shift onto his side to look directly at him.

 

“If sometime you do decide to do it, take drugs I mean, would you call me first?”

 

He turned towards Clark with eyes narrowed.  “What?”  The question sounded sharp in the soft air.

 

“Hey, I know you don’t need my permission to do anything you want, but I’m asking anyway.  Because if I knew, I could come over and make sure you were all right.  Otherwise I would be afraid that something could happen to you and I wouldn’t know about it.  If I’m sure you’ll call and tell me, I won’t worry.  Would you do that for me?” 

 

Lex stared at his friend in astonishment.  He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around this.  No one had ever said anything like that to him before.  Since he’d lost his mother, no one had ever shown concern for his safety unless they were paid to do so.  His father only wanted him to not get caught. 

 

His first instinct was to scoff and wonder what the real agenda was, but Clark’s face was so open.  He could read the sincerity of his intentions, along with some apprehension that Lex would be angry with him for asking.  Clark didn’t want a favor for himself, but for Lex, because he…cared.

 

In the end it really wasn’t that hard to know how to answer.

 

“Okay.”

 

Clark’s eyes widened.  “Really?  You promise?”

 

“Sure.  I promise.  Thank you for suggesting it, it means a lot.”

 

Giving Lex one of his broadest smiles, Clark beamed, “Wow!  Thanks.  That’s cool.”

 

“No problem.”

 

Turning his face back to the sky and closing his eyes once more, Lex tried to bring his emotions under control.  If this small-town farm boy didn’t have his entire heart in the palm of his hand before, he did now.  It was getting harder to deny that the overwhelming pressure in his chest that was threatening to come out through his tear ducts was anything less than love. 

 

At that moment he didn’t think it was really all that bad to be Lex Luthor.  In fact, he thought he might actually be one lucky son-of-a-bitch. 

 

**~~**

 

 

Two days later Jonathan Kent entered the farmhouse kitchen, slamming the screen door behind him.  He paused a few steps into the room, turned, and proceeded to slam the door three more times for good measure.  He didn’t think he’d ever been so angry in his life.  And disgusted, worried and sick. Heartsick.  Everything he’d said had been proven right, but what a way for it to happen!

 

Sometime during the night manila envelopes full of photographs had been left at selected homes and businesses around Smallville, and news travels fast.  Jonathan suspected that he was one of the last to see them, and Gordy Johnson at the feed store had taken snide pleasure in being the one to clue him in, full of false sympathy and advice.  Everyone knew that the subject of the photos had recently spent several days as part of the Kent household.

 

Jonathan leaned against the wooden pillar between the kitchen and living room, briskly rubbing his hands over his face.  He was afraid he was never going to get those images out of his mind:  Lex Luthor engaged in sex acts of various kinds.  Lex Luthor doing drugs.  A bruised and battered Lex Luthor menacing a man with a knife.  Lex Luthor holding a little girl down and…. 

 

He felt nauseous.  There were also photos of Lex Luthor with Clark and Ryan.  If he didn’t find something to hit or destroy very soon he thought he might explode.  Clark would probably make excuses for Luthor, would want to forgive him, but not Jonathan, despite the fact that he had been coming to accept the young man.  If he never saw that perverted criminal again it would be too soon.

 

Mid inner-tirade, the phone rang.  Wondering if it was another neighbor calling to gloat, he grabbed the handset.

 

“What!”

 

“Dad?”

 

“Clark, son, where are you?  Come home right now, we need to talk.”

 

“Um, Dad, is Mom there?”  His voice sounded shaky.

 

“She’s at the Food Pantry today.  God, what she must be going through.”  He tried to calm down enough to not scare Clark any more than he must already be.  “Just come on home and we can talk about everything.”

 

“I can’t.  I need some help and I hoped Mom would be there.”

 

“You know I’m always here for you too, Clark.  Do you need me to come and get you?”

 

“You won’t want to.  Not here.  It isn’t me.  I just don’t know what to do…”

 

Clark’s voice trailed off desperately.  Jonathan knew that his son could get worked up and lose his common sense.  The main thing was to keep Clark talking.

 

“Tell me what’s wrong.  Where are you?”

 

The boy on the other end of the phone sighed.  “I’m at Lex’s”

 

Jonathan’s blood pressure shot through the roof.  “WHAT?”

 

Clark started right in.  “See!  I knew you wouldn’t help.  I’ll call Mom at the Food Pantry.”

 

Really, really not wanting Clark to hang up, Jonathan forced his voice to steady.

 

“You know Lex Luthor’s house is the last place I want you to be right now, but I will help you.  What’s happened? Are you all right, son?”

 

“I’m fine, Dad.  It’s Lex.  He’s….  He’s….  There’s something wrong with him and I don’t know what to do.  Don’t bother telling me to leave because I won’t.  He needs me and I’m staying with him.”

 

Typical Clark.  Loyal to his friends no matter what.  Loyal to his slimy, despicable Luthor friends, even.

 

“What’s wrong with him?”

 

Clark paused for a moment as if deciding whether to answer or not, but then gave in with a rush of words. 

 

“He’s just staring into space.  I can’t get him to talk or even acknowledge that I’m here.  It’s really scaring me and I don’t know whether to take him to the hospital or not.  I don’t want to, especially not now.  I don’t know how people would react to him.”

 

Probably with due repugnance, Jonathan thought.

 

“Is he injured in any way?”

 

“No, I checked.  No broken bones or bleeding, but why is he like this?  None of the nice staff are around, only the creepy security guys.  What should I do?”

 

Jonathan took a deep breath.  “Look, I’ll be right there.  Don’t do anything.”

 

The relief in Clark’s voice was palpable.  “Thanks, Dad.  Hurry.  Come around the back of the house by the rose bed.”

 

On the short drive to the mansion, Jonathan gave himself a lecture.  He was doing this for Clark, not Luthor.  Anything that scared Clark must be dealt with, no matter how distasteful.  What mattered was to get through whatever the current crisis was and then get Clark away from that man as quickly as possible.  Snapping and shouting would not help; he vowed to concentrate on being reasonable and fatherly.

 

The guard at the gate recognized him and let him through with no more than a glower.  He felt sympathy for the man, reflecting that no money in the world could convince him to work for someone like Lex Luthor.  It took several minutes to walk around the outside of the house until he spotted Clark on his knees next to some bushes.

 

Hurrying over he called, “Clark!”

 

His son stood and looked at him with relief.  “Thank god you’re here, Dad.”

 

Jonathan went up to Clark and clapped him on the shoulder.  Then he looked down and saw what was upsetting the boy.  Luthor was sitting with his back to a stone retaining wall, knees pulled up to his chest.  His cheek was resting against the outside of one knee, his eyes staring vaguely in the direction of the ground, unseeing.

 

Kent didn’t want to feel sorry for a Luthor, but he looked so broken.  It was probably deserved, but a hard thing to see anyhow.

 

They both knelt on the grass and Jonathan peered at Lex critically.  “Come on, Luthor.  Snap out of it.  You’re scaring Clark!”

 

“Dad!” Clark exclaimed.  “Stop it.  He needs help.” 

 

Reasonable and fatherly.  Right.

 

“How long has he been like this?”

 

“I don’t know.  As soon as I…heard…I left school and came over here.  That was about an hour ago.  I had to look, you know, to find him out here.”

 

Lex wasn’t reacting to anything they said.  It was as though he wasn’t even there. 

 

“And he hasn’t said anything?”

 

“No, I told you.  What should we do?”

 

Observing the unresponsive figure, Jonathon reviewed the possibilities.  Clark had more or less ruled out injury.  Most likely it was something psychological.  Or maybe chemical.

 

“Clark, do you know if Lex has been taking drugs?”

 

Without evasion the boy answered, “I don’t think so.  I know he has some in the mansion, but he promised me he wouldn’t take them.”

 

That was just great.  He was exposing Clark to drugs.  Jonathan was opening his mouth to point out the value of a Luthor’s word when the bald head lifted.

 

Both Kents leaned forward to catch the mumbled words. 

 

“And I didn’t.”

 

Clark placed his hands on Lex’s shoulders.

 

“Lex!”

 

Finally focusing his eyes on Clark, Lex continued, “I promised I wouldn’t take them so I didn’t.  Wouldn’t break a promise to you, Clark.”

 

Clark rubbed up and down his arms.

 

“Lex, are you all right?”

 

The young man chuckled, sounding a little hysterical.  “All right?  Why, no, Clark.  I’m not all right.  How could I be?  My life is over.”

 

Well, that was dramatic.  Apparently they were in for some Luthor whining.  Of course his son leapt to disagree. 

 

“No it isn’t.  I guess you heard about…the pictures.  It’s bad, but it’s going to be okay.”

 

Lex shook his head in exaggerated sadness.  “Clark, Clark, Clark.  No it isn’t.  I’m going to lose my company, everything I own, my home, you.  I’ll probably end up going to jail.”

 

Jonathan couldn’t help but suggest, “Maybe you should.”

 

Lex looked at him, eyes filling with tears that didn’t quite fall, and damn but he looked young all of a sudden; no longer a boy yet barely old enough to be called a man.

 

“No doubt you’re right, Mr. Kent.  It’s abundantly clear that I am a horrible and worthless person, not fit for human society.  It would be better for everyone if I didn’t exist.”

 

With a surprisingly stern expression, Clark scolded, “Don’t say that, Lex.  I know what was in those pictures wasn’t true.  You aren’t like that.”

 

Lex answered, sounding defeated.  “It is true.”

 

“Lex, look at me and tell me you did those things.  Look at me.”

 

Luthor obeyed the command.  The two boys’ eyes met and really connected.

 

“It is true, Clark.  Most of it.  I had some wild times.  Did some things.  Did it all.  But I would never hurt you or Ryan.  And I didn’t.  Would never.”  He seemed to be having trouble breathing.  “I would never hurt a child.  I would never…rape…a child!”  He spit the word out like it tasted foul.  “That picture is a fake.”

 

Against his will Jonathan found his conviction shaken.  Lex really did sound sincere.  What he heard next shocked him some more.

 

With wry bitterness, Lex continued, “I have to hand it to my father.  He mixed the lie in with enough truth and innuendo that no one will even question it.  It won’t matter that there isn’t any real proof.  At the very least I’ll be convicted in the court of public opinion.  After all, everyone knows that I’m the scum of the Earth.  Just a dirty Luthor.  This will confirm that they were right all along.”

 

Jonathan cringed inwardly.  It was too true.  No amount of denial would make any difference.

 

He frowned.  “Lex.  Are you saying that your father distributed those pictures?  That he made them up?”

 

“He didn’t have to make them all up.  Some of them were real.  And nobody had access to them but him.  He has an extensive collection of documentation on every mistake I’ve ever made, every time I’ve screwed up, every bit of ugliness in my life.”  He pulled his knees tighter to his chest.  “I must admit, I never expected him to do something like this.  Unbelievable.  After all this time I can still underestimate his hatred of me.”

 

Clark asked, “Why, Lex?  Why would he do this?”

 

“He wants to destroy me.  He sees me as competition that he can not lose to.  It sets a bad example when his own son can outmaneuver him on something as simple as a freight issue.  Or maybe he sees me as an extension of himself that isn’t up to standard and so must be excised.  Cut off your hand if it offends you, and I think he’s finally found a blade sharp enough to do it.  I’ve tried so hard to be good enough, to be someone he can respect if not be proud of, but I lost.”  He reached out and touched Clark’s face with his fingertips.  “I thought for a while that you might be able to save me.  I guess some things are beyond even you.”

 

Clark wouldn’t accept it.  “Don’t say that!  You haven’t lost, not yet.  You still have the person you really are inside, and you still have me.  You’re strong, Lex.  You can overcome this like you’ve overcome everything else.  Don’t give up!  Don’t let that bastard win.  You have to fight this!”

 

The young man rested his forehead on his knees.  “I’m just so tired.”

 

Jonathan noticed how pale Lex was, and that he was shaking.  He broke in, “Let’s take this discussion inside, shall we?  Can you stand?”

 

Lex lifted his head and looked at Jonathan in bewilderment, like he’d forgotten what standing was.  Jonathan leaned in and pried his hands away from his shins and straightened the bent legs.  Then he stood and leaned down to hook his elbows under Lex’s armpits, lifting the other man to his feet with one great heave.

 

Clark objected, “Dad!  Let me do that.”

 

“It’s all right.  I’ve got him.  We’re okay, aren’t we?” he asked the man he was supporting.

 

Lex swayed on his feet, one hand locked into the back of Jonathan’s shirt, but nodded.

 

“Fine.  I’m fine.”

 

With Clark fussing, the three of them shuffled slowly back to the house and up a set of steps to glass doors.  Once inside Lex pushed away to walk on his own and led them into the library/office.

 

Lex walked to the front of his desk and stood looking down, soon joined by Clark.  When Jonathan approached he could see the infamous photographs scattered over the desktop, along with a computer printed list entitled, ‘Distribution Points’.  This must have been how Lex had found out about the whole thing.

 

The photos still shocked the older man.  He could see one that showed a naked Lex sitting on the lap of a large black man, his back to the other’s chest, legs open.  The man had one hand around Lex’s cock and the other splayed in the center of his chest.  It was obvious that it wasn’t actually the man’s lap that Lex was sitting on.  The pale head was thrown back against his partner’s dark shoulder, face lit up with pleasure.

 

Although this kind of sex was nothing Jonathan was the least bit interested in, that picture didn’t bother him too much.  It looked consensual, like both parties were enjoying it.  It made a great contrast with the picture lying next to it, in which two men were using Luthor at the same time, one at each end.  That one looked rough and unpleasant.  He couldn’t understand why anyone would want to do something like that with people he probably barely knew.

 

Lex was saying, “Most of these I wouldn’t have wanted shown in public, but they are things that I did for one reason or another.  While I’d rather the past stay in the past, I will take responsibility for my actions.  Everybody already assumes that I’m warped, so not that much damage is done.”

 

Lex was shuffling though the photos, trying to keep his emotions off his face.  He lay two on top so that the three could see them.  They were the ones that had Ryan and Clark in them.  He pointed to the photo of himself and the younger boy.  They were leaning on the stone banister of the patio that overlooks the back garden.  Lex was gazing mildly out at the distance, but Ryan was looking away, uneasiness and discomfort clear on his face.  In the context of the other photos, the implication was that Lex had abused the boy.

 

Luthor said, “Ryan really hated me, didn’t he? I tried to be nice to him, but he wasn’t fooled.  I can hardly blame him.  If he could read my mind then he would have known the truth about me.”

 

Jonathan looked at him sharply.  Lex had known that Ryan had psychic ability and hadn’t said anything to anyone?  Hadn’t spirited him off to a private laboratory?

 

Clark responded, “No, Ryan didn’t hate you, Lex.  He was worried about you, though.  He made me promise to look out for you, which he wouldn’t have done if he thought you were bad.”

 

Lex looked at Clark with surprise.  “He said that?”  He seemed hopeful for a moment and then shook his head.  “No, he was probably being generous because you’re my friend and he worshiped you.”

 

Clark was obviously trying to think of something to say to that, but the young man continued speaking, somewhat distractedly.

 

“You know, this is one of the ironies of the situation.  I have an absolute ‘thing’ about child abuse.  When I hear about what some adult has done to a child I tend to become unreasonably angry.  That’s one of the reasons I couldn’t let those doctors continue to mistreat Ryan.  I traded favors that I should have held onto for that injunction.  My father knows that and sees it as another emotional weakness.  He used it to make this hurt as much as possible.”

 

Clark placed a hand on Lex’s shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry, Lex.  You really don’t deserve this.”

 

Gesturing to the photo of himself and Clark, he replied, “Neither do you.”

 

The photograph was taken at The Talon.  It was simply Lex standing next to a seated Clark, the two speaking to each other.  The angle, however, made it appear that Clark’s open mouth was about an inch from Lex’s groin, as though he were moving to press his lips there. 

 

“I’m sorry, Clark, that you were involved in this.  Obviously, the picture is merely suggestive, but that’s all that’s necessary under the circumstances.  I’m sorry that this will affect you and your family.”

 

Clark responded earnestly, “Don’t apologize.  This wasn’t your fault.  You’re an innocent victim.”

 

From the doorway a voice interrupted.

 

“Innocent?  I hardly think that word applies to my son.”

 

Jonathan’s blood ran cold as he turned to look at the unwelcome arrival.  Lionel Luther stood posed in the entry, relaxed yet lethal, like a rattlesnake sleeping in the sun.

 

Lex’s whole body stiffened and he took several steps toward his father.  When Clark moved to follow, Jonathan grabbed his arm to hold his son by his side.

 

“Well if it isn’t my loving father.”  Anger colored Lex’s every word.  “Come to make sure that no life is left in your son’s corpse?”

 

Lionel ignored him and swept imperiously into the room.  Looking down his nose at the Kents he ordered dismissively, “Leave us.”

 

Clark responded without hesitation, “No.  We’re not leaving him alone with you.”

 

Jonathan tightened his grip on Clark’s arm, but didn’t object.  This was the man who had brought unforgivable humiliation on his own son.  No one should be left to his mercy.

 

The businessman snorted disparagingly.  “Insolent pup.  Lex, send them away, we have private matters to discuss.”

 

Lex had forced himself to appear relaxed, though it wasn’t very convincing, and stood casually with his arms crossed.

 

“I prefer they stay.  At this point I hardly have any secrets from them or from anyone else.  All thanks to you, I might add.”

 

Apparently Lionel preferred to pretend that Jonathan and Clark weren’t there, and addressed his son.

 

“Really, Lex.  Surely you aren’t going to blame this on me.  It’s your own foul behavior that has caused your current predicament.”

 

“My behavior is one thing.  It was you who made sure that everyone in Smallville had it shoved in their faces.”

 

The older man circled his son with smooth menace.

 

“Of course I had nothing to do with it.  Perish the thought.  However, I’m not above taking advantage of the situation.  You will, naturally, have to leave this god forsaken village.  After the peasants have judged you for your sins, they will no doubt march over here with torches to burn the monster in their midst.

 

“LexCorp stock has fallen dramatically in the last few hours.  It’s quite vulnerable to a hostile takeover, and I doubt that any of the employees you’ve been so concerned about will be sorry to see you go.

 

“But never fear, son.  Everything will work out for the best.  All you need do is forget this bucolic dalliance and return to your rightful place at LutherCorp.  Of course, you’ll have to remain in the background for a while.  Take a little vacation, maybe.  In the meantime I will make sure there’s no evidence of your crimes to be found.  I assume you don’t want to go to prison for aggravated rape of a minor.”

 

Lex, understandably, was starting to lose his cool.

 

“So that’s what this is all about; you’re tired of the game and are going for the kill.  You’re willing to publicly drag me through the mud rather than see me become my own man.  Well, a prison of concrete and iron bars would be preferable to being under your control again.  Though I doubt that will happen, since there is no evidence.  There can be no evidence since I didn’t do it.  I.  Never. Raped. A. Child.  It’s a lie and you know it.”

 

“If you say so, Lex.  However, I wouldn’t be too confident that there is no evidence.  You’d be surprised what a good investigator can discover.”

 

Lex took a step toward Lionel, his eyes now alight with rage.

 

“Yes, Dad.  There is in fact all kinds of evidence that could come out.  For example, I notice that you didn’t include all the pictures in your little publicity packet.   What about the ones that you are in, Dad?  The ones where you are engaging in very illegal activities with your underage son.”

 

Jonathan felt like he had been punched in the stomach.  His mind couldn’t accept what was being implied.  That any parent could hurt their child….  That Lex had been hurt that way….   He had always said that Lionel was the devil, but now he knew that the man really was pure evil.

 

Beside him Clark gasped, and Jonathan held him with both hands, both to keep Clark from committing any violent acts and to reassure himself that his own son was safe and whole.

 

Lionel didn’t deny anything.  He said with condescension, “Now, now, son.  I don’t think anyone would give much credence to that type of thing.  Photos can be faked, you know.  It would merely seem a desperate attempt by a guilty man to divert attention from himself.  

 

“Lex, I want you to stop these histrionics.  All your life I’ve had to protect you from your own true nature.  You should be glad that I’m willing to give you another chance, even though you’ve proven yourself to be a hopeless degenerate.  You have no one else.  You have nothing else.  Accept that your father knows best for once and this will all go away.”

 

Emotion completely broke Lex’s control.  He snarled at his father, “I’d rather be dead than submit to you.  Is that what you want?  What I don’t understand is why you don’t just hire an assassin and have it done cleanly.  Why didn’t you pull the trigger yourself when Lucas wanted you to?  Does it give you that much pleasure to torture me?”

 

The elder Luthor again ignored what Lex had said.  “You’re making another bad decision.  If I walk out of here without you, you’ll be completely on your own to face the consequences of your immorality.  You’re too weak to overcome this current debacle without my help.  Do you think these farmers,”  motioning toward the Kents, “or anyone else will stand by you?  Where’s you lovely companion, Helen is it?  She may have been on the verge of moving into the mansion, but I understand that her change of heart took mere moments when confronted with the truth about you.  You’ll be alone, Lex.  All alone. Do you understand?”

 

The younger Luthor could hardly speak.

 

“Get. Out!”

 

Lionel affected a sad expression.  “If that’s truly how you feel.  It’s such a shame.  You could have been a great man, Lex.  Instead you prefer to be a failure.  Where did I go wrong?”  He sighed exaggeratedly.  “Well if you’re sure, then I’ll be on my way.  You know where to find me when you change your mind.  Goodbye, Lex.”

 

The man swirled his long coat as he strode dramatically out of the room, leaving the other three staring after him.  They remained a frozen tableau for a moment, then as Jonathan released Clark’s arm, his son moved toward his friend.

 

“Lex!  Lex, are you all right?”

 

Lex turned and brushed past Clark as though he weren’t there.  He moved to the far end of the room behind the desk and began to pace agitatedly.

 

Jonathan really did feel like he was in over his head.  He didn’t know of anything he or Clark could do or say to help the distraught young man.  He felt he should try though.  He began, “Lex.”

 

He froze in shock as Lex suddenly turned and smashed his right fist through the glass of a display case.  Jonathan’s alarm increased when he pulled his arm back, digging long gashes from elbow to wrist by pressing it to the jagged edges of the broken glass.  Despite his disbelief, he lunged forward as he saw the fist positioned to slam through another unbroken pane.

 

Clark beat him to it, however.  He stopped Lex’s closed fist with the palm of his hand and physically dragged his friend away from the scattered shards.  About the time they reached the edge of the seating area Lex’s legs gave out and the two of them sank to the ground, Clark holding Lex to his chest from behind.

 

Clark moaned, “Oh, god, Lex.  Oh, god.  Why did you do that?”

 

Jonathan knelt and inspected the damage.  Blood flowed freely from the wounds in the young man’s forearm.

 

“We’d better get him to the hospital.”

 

Without speaking, Lex shook his head in negation.

 

Thankfully, the clear voice of his lovely wife Martha flowed over them.

 

“I heard glass break.”  As she knelt beside the two boys she said to Jonathan, “I got your note.  What happened?”

 

 He confirmed, “You’ve seen the pictures?”

 

She nodded.

 

“Lex was pretty upset,” Jonathan understated, “but he was getting a hold of himself.  Then Lionel had to stop by for a visit.  He’s behind the whole thing, Martha.  He practically admitted that he made up the worst picture.  I guess Lex kind of lost it.”

 

The young man in question started to laugh, not a pleasant sound.

 

“Yeah, you could say I kind of lost it.  Well put, Mr. Kent.  Very descriptive.”

 

Martha had taken over surveying the injury.  She ignored the outburst and asked, “Lex, do you have a first aid kit?”

 

Focusing his eyes on her face, he answered, “Kitchen.”

 

Martha ordered, “Clark, go get it.”

 

The boy slipped out from behind his friend and was back within seconds, handing his mother the box before resuming his place.  No one mentioned that that wasn’t possible.

 

“Mom, is he going to be all right?”

 

She spoke to Lex as she cleaned his arm with a disinfectant wipe, “I think you’re going to need some stitches.  We should go to the hospital.”

 

Lex shook his head again.  “No, Mrs. Kent, that won’t be necessary.  It’s a little enhancement I received in the infamous meteor shower.  I have a particularly robust constitution.”  He giggled horrifically.  “I can take a lot of damage.  Just bandage it.”

 

Jonathan and his wife shot each other a quick look at the mention of meteors.

 

She said, “Robust or not, you’re lucky you didn’t cut a major artery.”

 

Lex lay his head back on Clark’s shoulder.  “Yeah.  Lucky.”

 

Clark wrapped his arms around the older boy and scolded, “Lex, please don’t hurt yourself.  It isn’t worth it.  Your father isn’t worth it.”

 

“Whatever you say.”  Then Lex seemed to make the effort to pull himself together.  “I’m sorry, Mr. Kent, Mrs. Kent.  I’m behaving like a real head case.  You shouldn’t have to deal with all this.”

 

Jonathan spoke automatically, “That’s all right, son.  I’m glad we can help.”

 

As she applied butterfly bandages to hold the raw edges of skin together, Martha looked at Lex thoughtfully. 

 

“Lex.”  She drew his attention.  “Lex, did you know that I grew up in Metropolis?” 

 

Surprised by the question, the young man answered, “Yes.”

 

“My family was in the middle of the social scale, not at the very top like yours, but I remember what it was like.  Money doesn’t mean happiness, nor does it mean a healthy family or life.  That’s one of the reasons I was glad to marry this wonderful man and move to Smallville.”

 

Jonathan smiled at her as she continued. 

 

“I saw self-destructive behavior with my friends.  Lex,” she paused and then asked, “what was in the pictures, were you trying to hurt yourself?  Like this?”  She passed her hand over his bandaged forearm without touching it.

 

Lex stared at her for a moment then blinked a few times.  “How…?”  As he processed her question he must have decided to answer.  “Yes.  Sometimes it gets to be too much and it’s the only thing I can do.  Physical pain I can handle.”

 

Martha nodded.  “Tell us, Lex.”

 

The young man looked from her to Jonathan to Clark.  They all returned his gaze kindly, encouraging him to feel safe enough to open up.

 

He swallowed.  “I never wanted to hurt anyone else.  Only me.  Some people get off on what they can do to others, and I guess I gave them a chance to go for it.  Most of it was when I was younger, fourteen to about eighteen.  If I was rough with someone it was only because they wanted me to be, and I was never with anyone younger than myself.  I never….”  He was speaking calmly, but his body was shaking, and Clark tightened his arms around his friend’s torso.  “I never did anything to a child.”

 

Martha caressed the smooth head gently.  “Shhh.  We know you didn’t.  It’s all right.”  After giving him a chance to calm down a bit she prompted.  “Are you talking about more than sex?”

 

Jonathan had to stand up and step back a few paces.  This was too intense for him.  Tractors were so much easier to fix than people.  He was concerned that Clark was hearing all this, but supposed it was for the best.  The boy needed to know.

 

Lex nodded.  “Yes.  Sex, alcohol, drugs, violence.  Whatever.” 

 

He got a distant look on his face, but kept talking.

 

“It’s funny.”  As though anything about this could be.  “My Smallville mutation made it worse.  It was like there was no limit, and believe me I looked for one.  How many sex partners could I have?  Could it be too rough?  How high could I get?  Could a trip ever be too bad?  How much could my body take.  Could I ever feel too much pain?”  He chuckled sadly.  “The hell of it was that I never found a limit.  It was never too much.  Eventually I gave up on finding any answers there.  That’s when I started getting serious about my studies.  I’ve learned to use the darkness, the pain, to further my goals.  It never goes away.  It’s part of everything I am, and everyone can see it in me.  It’s my destiny.”

 

This was hard for Jonathan to hear.  In his mind he saw the little boy lying in a field of flattened corn, tufts of red hair floating away in the breeze.  He remembered how helpless the boy had been, and how useless the father.  Jonathan had been glad to help get the injured child to the hospital, but then he’d never given him another thought.  If he had only known what was going to be done to that innocent boy, maybe he could have intervened somehow.  Instead, the child was left in the power of a man intent on destroying him.

 

Jonathan also felt guilty for everything he had said about Lex.  For how he had assumed the worst, assumed that the boy was just like the father.  Anger over having allowed himself to be used by Lionel blinded him to the reality of Lex.  Without a doubt Lex had his issues, but he was trying to be a good person.

 

Kneeling once again by the young man’s side, he took the thin shoulders in his hands.  When Lex turned to him, Jonathan forced himself to say what was on his mind.

 

“Lex, a lot of people have judged you, including me.  Especially me.  I want to apologize for that.  I was wrong.  You should be proud of the man you’re becoming.  Despite the fact that you didn’t have the love and support that every child deserves, you’ve managed to choose the better path.  To use a farming analogy, you’re a strong enough plant that the weeds couldn’t choke you, and you’re already bearing fruit.  You’re a credit to yourself, Lex.  If your father can’t see that, it’s his loss.  If other people can’t see that, it’s their loss.  Don’t believe your father’s lies, he doesn’t know you.  And the future isn’t written in stone.  You can still be whoever you want.”

 

Jonathan’s wife rubbed his back lovingly in approval.  Clark beamed at him over Lex’s shoulder like he was the best father in the world.  He wasn’t, but he was trying.

 

Tears filled Lex’s eyes but he swallowed them down.  “Thank you, Mr. Kent.  I can’t tell you how much…how much it means to me to hear you say that.”

 

After hugging her husband, Martha asked Lex, “Have you eaten today?”

 

“Uh.  No?”

 

“Well, you will now.” 

 

Clark and Jonathan helped Lex to his feet and Martha set out to organize sustenance.  By the time Lex had changed out of his ruined clothes, a light meal was spread in the dining room.  The housekeeper, Mrs. Gibson, had had a change of heart about quitting and was glad to be of help.

 

Martha had to coax each bite, but managed to get some nutrition into him.  It was only late afternoon, yet Lex was starting to yawn.  It had been a stressful day to say the least.

 

Jonathan said to him, “Look, I honestly don’t know what to do about everything that’s happened, but this family will stand with you.  I think you should come home with us tonight.”

 

Sounding very sure, Lex answered, “No.  I think it would be better for all of us if none of you were seen to be associating with me right now.  Not only for your good but for mine as well.  Questions are going to be raised about my relationship with Clark, and by extension the whole family.  In fact, when you go home tonight I want you to take the back way through the estate.  There are already reporters and cameras at the front gate, and it would be best if no one knew you were here today.  If the police speak to you, you can answer honestly that I haven’t laid a hand on Clark.”

 

Clark protested, “I think I should stay.  You shouldn’t be alone tonight.”

 

“No, Clark.  I want you to go home and do your chores.  Go to school tomorrow and act like nothing has happened the best you can.  If anyone says anything to you, don’t even answer.  I’m serious, Clark, this is important.”

 

Jonathan was impressed that Lex could resist Clark’s pouting face.  Strong, indeed.

 

Clark scowled, but agreed.  “Okay.  But I don’t like it.”

 

They stood to go and Martha gave Lex a long hug.  “Are you sure you’ll be all right tonight?”

 

Lex was clearly trying to be adult, and just as clearly delighting in the motherly attention.  After reluctantly releasing Martha from the embrace, he said, “Yes.  I’m just going to sleep, and figure out what to do about everything tomorrow.”  He looked at each of them.  “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done today.  No one has ever given me the kind of support you have.  I’m beyond grateful.”

 

Martha hugged him again and Clark clapped him on the back.  She insisted, “You call us if you need anything.  Any time of day or night.  Understand?”

 

“Yes, Mrs. Kent, I will.  Thank you.”

 

They did as Lex suggested and took the back way home.  As Clark went off to do chores, Martha pulled Jonathan into her arms. 

 

“My heart just breaks for that poor boy,” she sighed.  “I’ve seen other kids go through the same kind of thing, and not all of them survived.  I hope he’ll be all right.”

 

“I do too.  For his sake and for Clark’s.  In spite of everything, Clark thinks Lex Luthor hung the moon.  If Lex suffers, Clark suffers, and I would hate to see it change our boy.”

 

“They’ll both come through this fine.”

 

“I’m sure they will.”

 

As Jonathan went out to do his own work, he didn’t feel quite as confident as he had been trying to sound.  He was worried about Lex in more ways than one.  Not only about getting through the current crisis, but about what kind of person he would end up being.  Yes, he was trying to take another path, but his training at the hands of Lionel Luther had to run deep.  Jonathan hoped that the darkness wasn’t going to be too strong for him.  They would all be in a lot of trouble if it was.

 

**~~**

 

After his parents had gone to bed, Clark prowled the loft restlessly.  There was no chance of sleeping, tired as he was.  Everything he had heard and seen that day reverberated in his head, making it difficult to sort through.

 

The photographs had shocked him, especially the sex ones.  The pictures of Lex with women were bad enough, but when it was men, Clark hadn’t wanted to look at them and yet hadn’t been able to look away.  Images of men and women were everywhere, so he was used to that.  It was accepted and normal.  He hadn’t seen men together, though, except for a few peeks at posed scenes he’d come across on-line, and those men weren’t Lex.

 

Chloe had dragged him into the Torch office to show them to him.  Except for the one with Clark in it, to her it had been a great news story.  He hated the idea that people all over town were looking at Lex.  Thinking about his body and what he had done, maybe still did, with it.  Clark had wanted to speed everywhere, collect up all the pictures and burn them. 

 

He’d settled for speeding to the mansion.  Finding Lex totally unresponsive had scared the hell out of him.  Lex was always so cool, so in control.  The confrontation with Lionel and the things Lex had said later had his head spinning.  It didn’t seem possible that he had been friends with Lex for so long and hadn’t known any of that. 

 

It was because he’d never asked.  He’d thought that if he didn’t ask Lex questions about himself, then he wouldn’t have to answer any either.  Some friend he was.  Some secrets were better shared than protected.  Maybe his own was one of them, he didn’t know.

 

Although he was confused about a lot of things, one had become clear over the course of the day.  It mattered to him what happened to Lex.  It mattered a lot.  In fact, it was pretty much the most important thing he could think of.  Lex had been hurt so much, there had to be something he could do to help.

 

Clark kept thinking about how Lionel had emphasized that Lex would be alone, how Helen walked out on him.  He suspected that Lex was probably pretty used to exactly that, but it triggered one of Clark’s greatest personal fears.  It hurt to imagine his very special friend alone and abandoned, and he couldn’t allow it.

 

He had been a good little boy and gone home when ordered, but he hadn’t promised to stay there.  Making up his mind and relieved to finally be able to take some action, Clark ran to the mansion in a matter of seconds, skirting the die-hard news vans still parked in front.  The house was dark, so he snuck in the side door and made his way up to Lex’s room.

 

Pausing in the shadow cast by moonlight through the window, Clark observed the figure in the bed.  Lex actually was sleeping, which was good, but it wasn’t very peaceful.  The bald head rolled on the pillow as the body shifted beneath the covers.  

 

Clark longed to hold Lex in his arms so that he would know he was loved.  Yes, loved.  What he felt couldn’t be anything else.  He would do anything for Lex.  Anything at all, even hold him while he slept.  In fact, he wouldn’t mind if it was a little more than holding.  He ached to be near Lex.

 

Slipping out of his jeans and checked shirt, Clark approached the bed.  When he reached the side he had to stop and take a few deep breaths.  He was sure that he wanted to do this, but he was scared.  It was a big step and could change everything between them.  What if Lex didn’t want him there?  What if he got mad?  He decided he would just have to make Lex understand.  Being alone was not an option.

 

Clark lifted the sheet and slipped into the bed wearing only his boxers.  Leaning on one elbow, he reached out and gently touched Lex’s shoulder.

 

“Lex?”

 

The other man sat straight up and swung his elbow at Clark’s face, connecting right below his eye.

 

Putting his hands up defensively, he called, “Lex!  It’s me, Clark.  I’m not going to hurt you.”

 

Lex froze. 

 

“Clark?  What the hell are you doing here?”

 

“I wanted to be with you.  I wanted to make sure you weren’t lonely.  I wanted to do this.”

 

He leaned forward and brought his lips to Lex’s.  The first kiss was tentative, a friendly brushing of skin.  Then he tried again, shifting his whole body closer.  This time he cupped Lex’s cheek in his hand and worked his mouth against the other.

 

After a stunned moment, Lex moaned and lunged at Clark, knocking both of them flat on the mattress.  The teenager was a little stunned himself when Lex kissed like he drove, zero to one hundred and ten in two seconds flat.  The man devoured his mouth and ran his hands over his body.  Clark felt like he was being touched everywhere at the same time.  It felt incredible.

 

Then he experienced another shock when he realized that Lex was naked.  Completely naked except for the bandaged arm.  He could feel a hard, hot shaft pushing against his thigh as Lex squirmed beside him.  Clark had never even looked closely at a cock other than his own, much less had one touching him.  He liked it.  A lot. 

 

Clark surrendered himself to the kiss, giving back the passionate attention he was receiving.  During the rare moments that his mouth was free, he murmured Lex’s name.  He ran his hands over the skin of the sturdy male body next to his.  It was so good, he wanted more.

 

Lex grabbed him and lay back on the bed, pulling Clark on top of him.  Amazingly, that felt even better.  Lex writhed underneath him, his arms locked around Clark’s neck and back as though he were drowning and Clark a life preserver.  Lex thrust up and Clark thrust down, wishing the boxers weren’t between them.  He’d never been so aroused in his life, blood flowing hot as lava in his veins.  Fantasies didn’t even come close to the real thing.  So what if he hadn’t exactly thought the whole thing through?  It was definitely what he wanted; to get as close to the other man as physically possible.

 

He groaned, “God, Lex.  Never felt anything like this.”

 

As though his voice had flipped a switch, Lex stilled.  About the time Clark’s brain processed that fact, strong arms pushed him off and to the side.  Moving almost as fast as Clark could, his friend and nearly lover was out of the bed and standing a few feet away, glaring, of all things.

 

“Lex?  What’s the matter?”

 

“What’s the matter?  What are you…?”  He seemed to be panting.  “Jesus, Clark!  I’m being suspected of molesting minors and you crawl into my bed with that hot… incredible body?  Does this seem like a good idea to you?”

 

Lex was just standing there naked.  He wasn’t entirely hairless, laying one topic of public speculation to rest, not that anyone would be wondering much after studying those photos.  There was a sharp line of auburn hair on his lower belly which fanned out to form a circular halo at the groin.   Clark was trying really hard to not stare at the erect penis curling upward.  He felt a fool enough without gawking.

 

“Oh.  Um, I’m sorry.  I didn’t think.”

 

“I guess you didn’t.  Seriously, Clark.  What got into you?”

 

“I just…I just wanted to be close to you.  I thought this would be a way to show you how I feel.  I really screwed up, Lex.  I’ll go.”

 

He started inching toward the side of the bed, not looking forward to standing up.  His own erection would not be hidden in the least behind thin cotton boxers.  The embarrassment was making him wilt a little, at any rate.

 

Lex took a step back toward the bed and held out the uninjured hand.

 

“Wait, Clark.  You didn’t screw anything up.  I don’t want you to think I don’t desire you.  I do.  It’s just, this isn’t a good time.”

 

It made him feel better to hear Lex say that, but he didn’t really understand.  They both wanted each other, so what was the problem?  No matter what anyone said, he wasn’t a child.

 

He contributed tentatively, “Okay.”

 

Lex looked at him and could probably see that he was still upset.

 

“Look, Clark, I’ve cared about you for a long time.  I’ve wanted you for a long time.  The thing is, I need you so much right now I could tear you apart.  I need you so much that I could lose control and hurt you.  I don’t want to do that.”

 

“You can’t hurt me, Lex.”

 

Shaking his head, the man insisted, “Whether it’s literally or figuratively doesn’t matter.  I don’t want it to be this way.”  His voice had softened to the point that it was almost tender.   “I want to be with you, but I want to do it right.  If…when this is all resolved, when I’m myself, come to me again.  I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and I can’t do that right now.  Do you understand?”

 

“I think so.”  Emotion threatened to burst his heart open.  It wasn’t a sophisticated feeling, but Lex was so great!  “I want it to be right, too.  I love you, Lex.”

 

Lex slumped and let out a breath.  “I…feel the same.  And thank you for coming here tonight.  I know you meant well.  We’ll talk about this again.”

 

Maybe all was not lost.  “Do you think, maybe, I could stay?  Just to sleep.  Would it be all right if I held you for a while?”

 

“Against my better judgment, that sounds wonderful.  But nothing more.  Promise?”

 

“I promise.  I just want to be near you.”

 

“I’d like that.”

 

As Clark lay down and got comfortable in the bed, Lex pulled on a pair of silk boxers and climbed back in.  Arranging himself carefully so that no genitals were touching anything pleasant, Lex settled his head onto Clark’s chest, draping one arm over his torso.

 

“Is that okay?”

 

“That’s great, Lex.  Go to sleep.”

 

It took a while, but the other man finally relaxed, his breathing slowing into sleep.  Clark lay awake, amazed at what he was feeling.  The urgency of the sexual impulse had passed, but holding Lex close was maybe even better.  He hadn’t shared a bed with anyone since he got too big to crawl in with his parents.  He’d never laid with the warm skin of another person touching the whole length of his body.  Here he was, holding the one he loved close to his heart.  It was incredibly intimate.  He began to understand how much more there was to sleeping together than sex, how much a relationship could mean.  He could get used to this.

 

When Clark finally drifted to sleep, it was with a greater sense of belonging than he had known since coming to this planet.

 

 

**~~**

 

The sun was just barely beginning to show itself, but Lex was already wide awake.  He felt strung out from the emotional roller coaster ride of the previous day.

 

Lex wished he could stay exactly where he was for the rest of his life.  Clark’s skin was warm beneath his cheek, and he could hear the rhythmic thump of the boy’s heart.  He wondered yet again how it was that the mere presence of this teenager could make him feel like everything would be all right, despite all evidence to the contrary.  Clark’s arm around his back was like a benediction.

 

His father always said that he was too emotional, that it was his weakness, and he knew it was true.  How else could he be, though, when the only example of emotional control he’d had for many years was a father who could repress anything that wasn’t useful for the manipulation of others?  He had tried to emulate that, but not only had he not been good at it, it didn’t seem to work.  He didn’t feel less, it simply became more concentrated without any pressure release.  Lex had on occasion wondered what his father’s inner life was like.  He was fairly sure he didn’t want to know.

 

Clark, on the other hand, wore his emotions on his face.  He could blow up in a fit of anger one minute and be his usual mild self again the next.  Every time he lied his face showed how much he hated the prevarication. 

 

The easy expression of his feelings, however, didn’t seem to relieve his inner pressure.  Sometimes it seemed like Clark might explode from the strain of hiding so much.  Would his inner life mirror the public Clark at all?  Lex was fairly sure he wanted to know.

 

This little stunt of climbing into bed with him had come out of the blue.  Clark said he wanted to show Lex how he felt?  Lex would have thought they were no farther along than a friendly hug.  He must have misjudged that a bit.  It still didn’t make complete sense to him.

 

There was a part of Lex that couldn’t believe he had put a stop to it the night before.  It was inconceivable that when offered an all-you-can-eat buffet of Clark Kent’s heart and body, he would abstain.  A part of him was screaming that he should take what he could while he had the chance.  He reflected that it was Clark himself that gave him the strength to do the right thing.

 

Speaking of which, during the night his groin had arranged itself to press against Clark’s thigh.  The exquisite pain of desire was getting to the point where he would have to do something about it, one way or another.  He carefully shifted his hips to lie flat on the bed, a relatively more chaste position.

 

The small movement roused Clark from slumber, and Lex lifted his head to watch the boy awaken.  In sleep Clark’s looks were classical perfection, but the intelligence, the very Clarkness, in his eyes was the real prize.

 

Lex responded to Clark’s smile with one of his own.

 

“Good morning, beautiful.”

 

Clark was a little bit embarrassed by the situation, and blushed fetchingly.

 

“Hi, Lex.”

 

“Did you sleep well?”

 

“Yeah, great.”  He blurted, “I love sleeping with  you,” then rushed on.  “How are you?  Do you feel any better?”

 

“As a matter of fact, I do.  You made all the difference, Clark.”

 

The handsome face took on a flirtatious leer.  “Any time I can be of assistance, just let me know.”

 

As Lex lifted his torso on one elbow, he argued to himself that one little kiss wouldn’t hurt anything.  Must reassure the teenage virgin, after all.  Just one little kiss.

 

They leaned toward each other to share the kiss mutually.  Clark’s lips were so sweet and tender, Lex wanted to drown in them.  Out of accusations of sexual predation had arisen the miracle of their mouths on each other.  Very ironic, and he approved entirely.

 

However, questions that needed answers crowded his head.  Lex pulled away and they shifted so that they were facing each other, only arms and legs touching.

 

Lex asked, “Not that I’m complaining, but wasn’t this a bit sudden?”

 

Clark shook his head.  “No.  I’ve wanted you for a long time, but it took me a while to recognize what it was.  When I realized that I was thinking about you all the time, counting the minutes until I could see you again, I finally got it.  I’m in love with you.”

 

Lex closed his eyes and savored how that felt.  After a minute he continued the interrogation.

 

“It’s an obvious question, but I have to ask.  What about Lana?  Since I’ve know you, you’ve been pining for her.”

 

Clark’s face softened.  “Ah, Lana.  I really like, Lana.  A lot.  She’s so pretty and tiny, and she needs me to take care of her.  I’ve had, you know, that kind of dreams about how it would feel to run my hands over those soft curves.  She’s hot.”

 

Lex’s insides froze a bit, but he nodded for Clark to continue.

 

“But Lex, when I think about Lana it feels sort of unreal.  Like it’s more the idea of her that I’m attracted to.  She’s what I grew up expecting to want.  With you it’s so different.  You’re contradictory and difficult and frustrating.  And sensual and gorgeous.  You challenge me with every breath you take. I really have to work to keep up with you, Lex.  No one could be more real.  Lana might need me, but I need you.  Um, then, of course, I couldn’t ignore the fact that I was more jealous of Lucas than I ever was of Whitney.”

 

Ah, yes.  He recalled the basketball incident fondly.

 

“Do you have ‘that kind’ of dream about me?”

 

“God, yes!  Recently, it’s always you I’m thinking about when I, you know.  Not that I really know much about, that, with guys.”

 

Lex chuckled.  “I can see we’re going to have to work on your vocabulary.”

 

The boy’s sly look returned.  “I should tell you that I’m a learn-by-doing kind of guy.”  Then his expression shifted to troubled.  “What about you?  Do you really want me?  You aren’t just being nice?  What about Helen?”

 

“I really want you, Clark.  I have for a long time.  I just never thought it could happen.  I cared about Helen.  I wanted her to want me.  But the truth is that I was going to be with her to distract myself from you.  It was part of the monumental effort I have been making to keep my hands off you.  You’re so young.”

 

“I’ll be seventeen in a couple of months!” Clark interrupted.

 

“In four months.  But it’s not just age.  Our worlds, our lives, are so diametrically opposed.  It’s hard to imagine you becoming part of my world without being damaged.  Yesterday was a good example of what it can be like.  Why would you expose yourself to that?”

 

“If it means I can be with you, I’ll face anything.  Um, you may have noticed that I’m pretty strong.  I don’t just mean my muscles.  I’ll be all right.  We both will.”

 

“Speaking of strong, I know there are things about yourself you don’t want to tell me…”

 

Clark tried to break in, but Lex kept talking.

 

“It makes me crazy that I don’t understand you, what you can do, but I won’t insist that you to tell me your secrets.  I just want you to know that it hurts me when you refute what I’ve seen with my own eyes.  You know I’m not stupid, Clark.  I won’t ask you any questions, but in return please don’t lie to me.”

 

Clark got that familiar conflicted, scared look on his face.

 

“Lex, I want to tell you everything about me.  I want to and I will.  I’m just not ready yet.  It’s hard.”

 

“That’s all right.  Trust me, no one knows better than I how difficult it is to be open with others.”

 

“There!  You see, we have more in common than you might think.”

 

“You may be right, Mr. Kent.”

 

Clark started in mock surprise.

 

“Mr. Kent?  Is my father here?”

 

Lex  had to laugh.  “God forbid.  About your parents, do they know where you are?

Now transparent guilt swept into view.

 

“Um, no.  It was kind of a spur of the moment decision.  I have to get home soon.”

 

Lex indulged in kissing Clark for a few minutes and then moved back to sit on the edge of the bed, pulling the sheet over the inopportune bulge in his boxers.

 

With utter seriousness, Clark asked, “Are your really all right?”

 

With a sigh, he confessed, “No, not really.  But I’m going to try to be.”

 

“I could spend the day with you.”

 

“The plan hasn’t changed.  You will go home and follow your normal routine.  I have a lot of errands to run and calls to make today.  I should have started the damage control yesterday, but as you noticed I wasn’t really up to it.  I promise you, I will try my hardest to survive this in as many ways as I can.  I have some serious motivation now, don’t I?”

 

The teenager climbed out of bed and very quickly into his jeans, giving Lex only a fleeting glimpse of endless bare legs.  When he turned, his face still showed concern.

 

“You’ll call tonight?  Or anytime you need me?  Just to talk or anything.”

 

“I’ll call tonight.  And Clark, thank you again.  For yesterday and for last night.  You’ve really gone above and beyond for me.”

 

Clark walked around the bed to where Lex still sat.  He bent and cupped Lex’s cheek in the palm of his hand.  “You make it sound like a sacrifice.  I love you, Lex.”

 

He didn’t think he could ever hear that enough.

 

“Me too.”

 

After a quick kiss, Clark moved toward the door.

 

Lex admonished, “Don’t let the press see you.”

 

“They didn’t see me last night, and they won’t see me this morning.  It’s, ah, one of those things.”

 

“Right.  I won’t ask.”

 

With a, “Bye,” Clark was gone.

 

As Lex showered and dressed, the darkness of the day before began to seep back into him.  He was afraid, which was a fairly new feeling.  He had been afraid a lot as a child, but had trained it out of himself.  It had become easy when he stopped caring what happened to him.  Now it was so different.  He actually had something to live for.  Not just Clark, but his life in Smallville in general.  He wanted to see this through, to find out if he was capable of creating something good.  The next few days, few hours, would show whether he would have that opportunity.

 

After spending a lot of time on the phone with his lawyers and contracting the top PR firm in Kansas, he climbed into his red Ferrari and proceeded to disregard the lawyers’ advice.  He roared through the gate and past the flashing cameras with the same panache as always.  He’d considered taking one of the more sedate cars, but decided that there was no point in trying to pretend he wasn’t something that he was.  If he didn’t show that being him was a pretty good thing, as Clark said, then certainly no one else would believe it.

 

Lex pulled up outside of the police station and took several deep breaths, psyching himself for the coming encounter.  He’d charmed and manipulated some of the wealthiest and most powerful men in the nation, how much harder could one country sheriff be?  Right?

 

All heads turned and conversation stopped as he stepped through the door into the station.  He assumed that everybody in that room wanted to see him locked up for the rest of his life.  No matter, he could handle this.

 

He said to the wide-eyed receptionist, “I’d like to speak with Sheriff Adams, please.”

 

The girl stuttered, “Ah, er, sure.  I’ll let her know.”

 

Lex waited patiently, outwardly as calm as if he were there to sell raffle tickets rather than fighting for his life.  After a couple of minutes the girl asked him to follow her.  Passing through a phalanx of hostile stares, he was led into an office.

 

Sheriff Adams, the no-nonsense new-comer to the Smallville beat, sat behind her paper strewn desk looking formidable.  He stood looking down at her.

 

“My name is Lex Luthor.”

 

“I know who you are, Mr. Luthor.  I must say your visit is a surprise.”

 

“Well, Sheriff, it seems to me that we have some things to discuss.”  He opened the manila envelope he had carried in with him and slid the pictures onto her desktop.  “I imagine you’re familiar with these.”

 

“Why, yes sir, I am.  They do in fact contain depictions of illegal activities.  I understand that while you have been mixed up in some questionable incidents since you arrived in Smallville, until now you’ve managed to stay just this side of the law.  Now I’m forced to question whether that’s still the case.”

 

“Since I’ve been in your lovely town I have broken no laws.”  Not entirely accurate, but close enough.  “I want to clear this up before it goes any farther.  I don’t dispute that many of these photos incriminate me in illicit acts, but you’ll notice that the majority of them were taken when I was much younger.  Underage, in fact.  Some of them have already been dealt with through the legal system.  That will be reflected in my juvenile records, which are sealed, but I’m sure you could find a way to confirm what I’ve said.  As such, there is no cause for any action to be taken at this time.”

 

He fished out the photos of Clark and Ryan. 

 

“These are merely innuendo.  I never laid a hand on the boy Ryan; I took him in when he was being pursued by doctors who were torturing him in the name of science.  I have never, nor would I ever, hurt Clark Kent in any way.  I have the utmost regard for him and for his family.  You can confirm that with the Kents themselves.”

 

The sheriff listened to his presentation with one eyebrow raised skeptically, but made no comment.

 

“As to this last picture,” with one finger he shoved the photo showing him with the child, “it is a fake.”  For the first time his composure started to crack.  He sat down in the chair in front of the desk and leaned on the arms with his elbows, speaking urgently.

 

“I assure you that I didn’t do this.  The person responsible for distributing these photographs was obviously doing it with the intention of discrediting me.  This particular one goes beyond that.  It’s a revolting and vicious lie.   I would never hurt a child.”

 

“Why should I believe you?  You’ve admitted these other photos are real.  They certainly give the impression that there’s little you wouldn’t do.”

 

“That was the intention.  I don’t know yet how to prove to you that it’s a fake, but I have experts analyzing the picture now.”  He paused to calm the butterflies in his stomach.  “One of my greatest concerns is that while I was not the one who did this to the child, someone did.  I don’t know if they used an already existing photo or if someone… did it… specifically to create this image.  I need to know.  I need to find out who this child is and what happened to her.  I have hired a team of investigators to do that, and have instructed them to cooperate with the police should you pursue the matter yourselves.  I won’t interfere with any official inquiry, but this is something I need to do.  That photo is as painful for me to look at as it is for anyone else.  More so.”

 

Adams was looking at him speculatively.  He thought that he might be convincing her.

 

She asked, “Would you agree to take a polygraph on that?”

 

Without hesitation he answered, “Yes.”  His lawyers would kill him.

 

“Mr. Luthor, who do you suspect of being behind this whole thing?”

 

“I know who did it, though it would be hard to prove.  It was Lionel Luthor.”

 

That surprised her. 

 

“Your father.”

 

“Yes.  You may be aware of his attempt to close LutherCorp Plant # 3 last year before I acquired the facility.  This is part of his campaign to take it back.”  He refrained from adding that it would likely be shut down if his father were to succeed, feeling that it might come across as a threat.

 

The sheriff leaned forward.

 

“I’ll tell you something.  I’ve looked at these pictures and they’re ugly.  You’re life has been ugly and apparently it runs in the family.  You’d better believe that we’ll be investigating this.  I’m not going to place you under arrest at this time, but you are a suspect in a child molestation case, so don’t leave town.  We’ll need to verify your claims against available records.   You’re going to have to answer questions about each and every one of these photographs, so be prepared with names, dates and locations.”

 

Wouldn’t that be fun. 

 

“Yes, ma’am.  I’ll be very busy over the next few days trying to save my company, but call my secretary to set up a time.  I’ll make myself available whenever it’s needed.”

 

“You do that.”  She sat back and glared, giving the signal that the interview was over.

 

As he stood and walked to the door, Adams called, “Mr. Luthor.”  He turned and she said, “I respect that you came in here of your own free will.  I’m not assuming that you’re innocent in this, but I’m not assuming that you’re guilty either.  You’ll get fair treatment from my department.”

 

“I appreciate that, Sheriff.  I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

 

Lex had to cross the main room of the station under continued cold scrutiny, and he hoped that the sheriff could follow through on her promise. 

 

His next destination was the fertilizer plant, a place he hadn’t been since the mess started.  He received no friendly smiles and only perfunctory good morning’s as he made his way to the office.  There he called his top managers together and told them basically the same thing he’d told the sheriff.

 

Then he said to them, “You remember my father’s attempt to close this facility last year.  All of us working together kept it open and we have been prospering.  If you’ve been unhappy working with me, this is your opportunity to welcome Lionel Luthor back by supporting his next take-over attempt, which should be underway any moment, if it isn’t already.  If you want to continue what we’ve started, then I’ll need you to stand by me in every sense.  I’ll need your help explaining what is happening to the workers.  I’ll need your help convincing them and the rest of the community that I’m not evil incarnate. 

 

“I know that this must be difficult for you to accept, and if you feel that you cannot continue to work with me there’ll be no hard feelings.  However, I hope that you will look to the long term good of this business and everyone associated with it.  The current situation need not be the end of what we’ve built.”

 

It was hard for them.  Several of the workers had already quit, and all of them were being pressured by friends and family.  The department heads talked it through, however, and concluded that between Lex and Lionel, they preferred to work with Lex.  It was decided that they would speak with the workforce rather than have Lex do it himself, and address the concerns that had everyone on edge.

 

As the meeting adjourned, Travis Perrin, the Personnel manager, approached Lex.

 

“Mr. Luthor, I honestly haven’t decided if I can continue working here.  I’m a God fearing Christian man, and what I saw in those pictures goes against everything I believe.  I’ve tried to ignore rumor in the past, but I can’t turn away from what I’ve now seen with my own eyes.  I preferred to believe that you weren’t one of them, a homosexual, but you just admitted it to us outright.  The Bible tells me it’s an abomination, and I don’t know if I can see my way clear to associate with someone like that.”

 

That was hard to hear, but Lex had been prepared for much worse.

 

“Travis, I know you’re a man of conviction and I respect that.  I would be sorry to see you go, but if you decide to leave my employ you need fear no repercussions from me.  After your years of service you would be eligible for a generous severance package, which will not be endangered.  Please let me know your decision by tomorrow so that I can replace you if necessary.”

 

The last person to leave was Gabe Sullivan, his second in command.

 

“Mr. Luthor, Lex, this is a hell of a thing.”

 

“It certainly is.   I hope you’ll see it through with me.”

 

“I will.  Regardless of anything that was in those pictures, since you’ve been in Smallville you’ve worked hard to improve this plant and the community.  I prefer to judge you by what you’ve shown me, rather than things that happened in the past.  It’s just…”  He trailed off.

 

Lex took a guess.  “You’re concerned about my acquaintance with your daughter.”

 

“I’d be a bad father if I wasn’t, Lex.  You can understand that.  But I trust my Chloe enough to know that if anything improper had happened around her, she would have told me.  I just don’t want her exposed to things like that.  I was hoping to get away from it when I accepted the transfer here in the first place.  I’ll just ask you to take care with her and the other young people you associate with.”

 

“Fair enough, Gabe.  I’ll make sure your confidence in me isn’t misplaced.”

 

Retreating to his office, Lex took a minute to just breathe.  It was all going better than expected.  Maybe his life wasn’t completely over just yet.  He was nowhere near out of the woods, though, and had to resist an urge to crawl under the desk and hide.  Instead, he picked up the phone and faced the next list of challenges.

 

One of his calls was to Lana at the Talon.  He couldn’t blame her for being nearly speechless, not knowing what to say to him, nor for her evident relief when he assured her that he wouldn’t be visiting the coffee house any time soon.  Lex had to consider every occasion in which someone didn’t run away from him screaming to be a victory.

 

The day passed in a blur of crisis management, and eventually he found himself back at the castle watching the glow of the sunset filter through the expanse of windows in his office.  He had survived the day, literally still alive at the end of it, something that had seemed unlikely only twenty-four hours before. 

 

He decided to swim some laps before calling Clark, his reward for enduring.  Lex couldn’t wait to hear his friend’s voice; it gave him strength just to think of him.  This would all be worth it if Clark was still there at the end.

 

~~**~~

 

 

Clark did as he was asked and went to school, but the day could hardly be considered normal.  It was impossible to miss what people were saying about Lex and him.  Rumors about their relationship were nothing new, but the other kids were scandalized and titillated the way only sheltered, moralistic teenagers can be.  They didn’t hold back going for the jugular.  It was especially difficult to handle for someone who had made a career of blending into the background.

 

At mid-day Clark stormed into the Torch office to escape from yet another ‘fairy’ comment.  Chloe was there at her computer, but didn’t have a chance to say anything before Clark started venting.

 

“I can’t believe how people are acting!  I’ve never done anything to deserve being treated this way and neither has Lex.  God, in Smallville of all places, where half the school is hiding something, they act like a bunch of rabid vultures.  I swear, the next time someone says something about Lex I’m going to take their head off.”

 

Chloe jumped as Clark slammed a fist into his palm with enough force to sound like he’d put a hole through the wall.

 

“Uh, Clark?  Settle down, okay?  They’re just kids, it doesn’t matter what they think.  And violence is really not the answer.”

 

Clark sagged a bit.  “I know, it just makes me sick.  They don’t know Lex.  They don’t know how good he’s been to me and to a lot of people in this town.  He’s worth more than all of them put together.  Lex is the best person I know!”

 

Chloe looked at him speculatively and Clark realized that he may have said too much.

 

“So, Kent, is there something you want to tell me?”

 

“No.  Well.  It’s just that everyone assumes that certain things have been happening between Lex and me, but they haven’t.  Not that, I guess, I would mind if they were.  It’s just no one’s fucking business!”

 

The blonde girl’s mouth flapped a couple of times as she searched for a response to that bombshell and the un-Clarklike language, but she was saved by the arrival of two more of their friends.

 

With Lana beside him, Pete strode up to Clark and slapped him on the back. 

 

“How you doin’ buddy?  If you need anyone to run interference between you and the ravening hoards, you can count on us, man.  As if anyone could really believe that crap about you and Luthor.”

 

Lana concurred, “Yeah.  We know that you would never do anything disgusting like they’re saying.  You have our total support, Clark.”

 

Chloe began rather obviously shaking her head and making ‘stop talking’ signals, but the two friends were clearly on a mission. As Clark grew still and straightened to his full height, Pete went on.

 

“I knew it was going to come to no good hanging around with Luthor.  At least now he’ll probably be leaving town.  I know you’re disappointed, Clarkbar, but it’s probably for the best.  The guy was seriously deranged.”

 

Frowning prettily, Lana worried, “I just hope that all this won’t affect the Talon.  There was no way I could have known what Lex was really like.  I mean, I knew he used to be kind of wild with girls, but there was so much more.  He seems so normal when you talk to him.”

 

Clearly trying to avoid a Clark-explosion, Chloe interrupted before Pete could start again.

 

“Guys!  Hey, maybe we should change the subject.  Clark’s been having a tough enough day without talking about it any more.  What about that history quiz, huh?  That Jefferson Davis question really came out of left field.  That was only in the book, we didn’t talk about it in class.”

 

Lana seemed to really look at Clark for the first time.

 

“Clark, are you all right?  Is there anything I can do?”

 

When he answered, Clark’s voice was unusually tight and controlled, making his three friends take note.

 

“You can stop talking about Lex like that.  He’s my best friend,” he glared at each of them meaningfully, “and anything you say about him you say about me.”

 

Pete just couldn’t take a hint.

 

“Man, I know you were tight with Luthor, but we’ve been your friends since, like, forever.  We’re just worried about you.”

 

“Lex.  His name is Lex, not Luthor, and I’m standing by him.  You don’t know anything about what’s been happening, so if you want to remain my friends you should just shut up.”

 

Chloe ventured tentatively, “Clark, you have to admit, it looks bad.”

 

“Looks can be deceiving.  And besides, if someone was spreading lies about any of you, would you want me to turn my back on you?  No, so don’t expect it now.”

 

Lana looked confused.  “Are you saying that what was in those pictures wasn’t true?”

 

“Some of it was, but it happened a long time ago.  Other parts were just lies invented by Lex’s father to try to get LexCorp away from him.  But you had to jump on the bandwagon and judge him right along with everyone else.  And after everything he’s done for each of you.”

 

Pete’s worried expression deepened.  “We saw the pictures. That was some seriously scary stuff.”

 

Clark challenged, “Who are you going to believe, them or me?  You’re going to have to decide whether you trust me or not.  Let me know when you do.”

 

He walked out of the room feeling sad and empty.  Chloe ran after him calling, “Clark!  Wait!” but he outdistanced her easily heading for the gym.  He hoped his friends would come around; he didn’t want to lose them.  There was no way to explain how important Lex was to him, would be for the rest of his life.  He wanted to tell the whole world how he felt, but it was yet another thing he had to hide.

 

He hoped Lex was having a good day.  Clark thought about the older boy’s eyes, the sexy cords of muscle where his neck met the irregular surface of his scull, and blocked out everything else.  For the moment, it was enough.

 

~~*~~

 

 

A couple of days later, it was about eleven in the evening when Lex locked the door to the Talon behind him.  Things were still tense and he spent all his waking hours dealing with one crisis after another, and even his coffee shop ‘hobby’ business had its pressing needs.  He could only put off signing checks so long before suppliers started complaining.  The last thing he needed to hear was, ‘Yeah, and he doesn’t pay his bills, either.’  Thus the undignified sneaking in after hours.

 

Smallville was generally home and in bed by 10pm, so the dark street was empty.  He knew he was going to have to start showing his face in town soon, but another couple days of discretion wouldn’t hurt.

 

Lex pressed the button on his keychain to unlock the doors of his silver Porsche, then stopped abruptly when he got a look at the driver’s side door.  Scrawled in black spray paint was the word, ‘PERVERT.’  Cold fury tightened his chest and he cursed the vandal.

 

Looking around sharply, Lex caught a movement down the street, a figure darting around the corner into the alley.  Even as part of him knew it was stupid, he took off running.  Several steps into the alley he stopped, seeing no one.

 

Lex called, “If you have something to say to me, say it to my face.  Or are you too much of a coward?”

 

A man stepped out of the shadows.  He was of average height and slight.  Lex thought he might have seen him before, but couldn’t place the face.  Judging by the way he was dressed in business casual, he could have been a bank teller or grocery store manager.

 

The man said, “You’re the coward, hiding behind your money instead of paying for what you’ve done.”

 

“I haven’t done anything.”

 

The man walked slowly toward Lex, looking angry but unthreatening, empty hands in plain sight.

 

“You would think that sexually abusing children is nothing.  You aren’t going to get away with it.  I’ll see to that personally.”

 

“I never hurt a child.  That was a false…”

 

The stranger cut him off, “I don’t want to hear your lies!”

 

He reached out a hand and touched Lex’s chest, and his whole body exploded in pain.  He’d forgotten how deceiving looks could be in Smallville.

 

~~**~~

 

 

Clark was glad to see Lex’s car there when he parked in front of the Talon.  He hadn’t wanted to miss this chance to see his friend.  The shop was dark, though.  He quickly checked the building with his x-ray vision and confirmed that nobody was inside.

 

Scanning the street, he spotted two skeletons in the alley, standing close together.  He’d checked Lex out so many times that he could pick that particular frame out of a lineup.

 

He sped around the corner to find a small man holding Lex against the wall with one hand on his chest, a faint green glow outlining the fingers.  Lex was writhing in agony, unable to defend  himself. 

 

It was almost a relief.  Clark had felt like a bumbling incompetent trying to help Lex through his personal and emotional wreckage.  Now, a mutant, on the other hand, that was his area of expertise!

 

Clark shouted, “Stop!  Let him go!”

 

The attacker took his hand away and Lex collapsed to the ground, panting for breath.

 

The man, whom Clark recognized as Mr. Lincoln, said, “Stay out of this, son.  This man is going to get what he deserves for hurting children.”

 

“Lex is innocent, Mr. Lincoln.  You have to believe me.”

 

“I know about your relationship with him, Clark, and you don’t have to lie any more.  He won’t hurt you again.  Any threats he made toward you or your family to keep you from talking are meaningless.”

 

“No, Lex never threatened me!  I mean it, he didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

Lincoln shook his head sadly.  “We’ll get you help when this is all over.  I’m doing this for you and everyone else he’s molested.”

 

When he reached toward Lex again, Clark sprang forward.  “I won’t let you hurt him!”

 

Grabbing the man, Clark expected to fling him across the alley like he usually did.  This time, however, Lincoln’s hand on his shoulder sent him to his knees.

 

“I don’t want to hurt you, Clark.  Don’t interfere.”

 

Feeling like every cell in his body was exploding, like what happened to his blood around meteor rocks but worse, he managed to moan, “No!”

 

A car’s headlights cut into the alley and Lincoln stepped back.  Turning, he ran into the shadows, calling, “This isn’t over!”

 

As the light faded Clark dropped forward onto his hands, then lowered his head to the ground fighting back nausea.  The pain and weakness were receding, but only slowly.  After a moment, he became aware of a comforting hand stroking his back and hair.

 

“Clark, are you all right?  Babe, talk to me.”

 

He lifted his head.  “Babe?”

 

Lex chuckled.  “Sweetheart, stud muffin, whatever.  Are you okay?”

 

Finally able to sit up, Clark looked at Lex.  The other man was pale and shaken, but seemed a lot better than Clark felt.

 

“I’m okay.  I’m just not used to…  Things don’t usually hurt me.”

 

Lex nodded.  He helped Clark walk a few steps and then they sat with their backs against the brick wall, shoulders touching.

 

“I know I should have expected you to show up in the nick of time to save me once again from a homicidal maniac, but what are you doing here?”

 

“Lana told me you were coming in to the Talon late.  I haven’t seen you in a couple of days and wanted to catch you alone.  I wish you had been alone.”

 

“Who was that guy?”

 

“Mr. Lincoln.  He runs the local child abuse prevention agency.  He gave a talk to my fifth grade class.”

 

“I guess he does more than talk.”

 

It made sense.  It seemed like anyone even suspected of child abuse moved away from Smallville.  Apparently it was more than good karma.

 

“Lex, we have to call the police.  He could come after you again, and…this time, I don’t know if I can protect you.”

 

Lex rubbed a hand up and down Clark’s thigh, which seemed to make him feel totally better almost instantly, or at least forget about the lingering discomfort.

 

“Yeah, we should call the police.  While I don’t disagree with the man’s sentiments, I do object when they’re applied in error and to me.  And I don’t want you caught in the middle.”

 

Clark felt fine now, but was in no hurry to go.  It was so good to just sit there next to Lex for a while.  Judging by his lack of movement, it seemed that Lex had the same idea.

 

After a moment Lex asked, “So how is Ms. Lang?   Is she mortified to have a known deviant for a business partner?”

 

Clark shifted a bit uneasily.  “She was not very understanding at first, but she’s coming around.  I guess she knows that you wouldn’t hurt me, at least.”

 

“You’re the best PR I could have.  No one could doubt your sincerity.  I’m lucky to have you, and not just for that.”

 

Feeling warm and happy that Lex still liked him, Clark threaded his finger’s through the ones on his thigh.  They sat in the alley for several more minutes before forcing themselves to get up and go to the police station to report yet another dangerous mutant on the loose.

      

~~**~~

 

 

The next day was Saturday, and Clark’s parents were wise enough not to object when he insisted on going to Lex’s house after his chores were done.  Their attacker from the night before had yet to be found, and this threat along with everything else had him worried beyond his ability to stay away.  He was pleased to notice extra security at the gate and in the house.

 

Clark found Lex in the office, as usual, looking more like his old self.  Confident, smoothly sensual and determined.  The way the black slacks and lavender shirt clung to his body made Clark itch to see what was underneath.  He joined his friend by the windows.

 

“Lex!  How are things?”

 

“Hi, Clark.  Everything’s under control for the time being.”

 

“The business stuff?”

 

“Holding its own.  I had several resignations at the plant, but no one I couldn’t replace.  I’ve offered our customers substantial discounts for their continued patronage, and money seems to be a greater motivator than morality in most cases.  What a surprise.”  Lex’s mouth quirked into his normal understated grin.  “It’s going to be tough for a while, but LexCorp may just pull though.”

 

That was good news.  Lex had even more to share.

 

“I’ve answered questions for the police until I’m blue in the face and they so far agree that there’s nothing they can press charges on.  All but the most disreputable tabloid press have moved on to other things.  My father has been conspicuous in his absence, which is in itself worrying, but I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth.  Maybe he realized that he went a little bit too far this time.”

 

“That’s great.  I’m glad things are working out.”  Clark didn’t really want to ask, but he did really want to know, “And what about Helen?  Will she be coming back?”

 

Lex’s face darkened and then blanked into an impassive mask.  “Things were never easy between Helen and myself, Clark.  We were constantly in a state of negotiating our relationship and the recent public revelations were something of a deal-breaker.  I’m not sorry, though.  It isn’t really Helen that I want.  You know that now.”

 

Clark struggled to keep a smile from taking over his entire face and took a step toward Lex.

 

“Lex,…”

 

The other man stopped him with a raised hand.  “Not yet, Clark.  Not yet.”

 

“But soon, right?”

 

Lex’s face softened into open affection and he touched Clark’s chest gently. “Yes, soon.”

 

The moment was broken by a strangled cry of alarm in the hallway.  Both young men looked toward the door, instantly on guard.  Hurrying over, they stepped into the hall to find Lincoln down the corridor holding a writhing guard by the throat.

 

Clark gasped, “How did he get in here?”

 

As the man dropped the guard and started toward them Lex answered, “I don’t know, but let’s get out of here!”

 

They sprinted around the corner and out a door into the garden.  Lex clutched Clark’s shirt sleeve briefly and tugged.

 

“This way!”

 

Just as Lincoln banged the door open, they took off running along the same path they had followed that clear night before all this had started.  Looking back, one moment the mutant was there and the next he was gone.  Since they didn’t know if the man was still after them, they kept running.

 

When they reached the pond, Clark noticed that the ice was melted around the edges.  He spared a moment to wonder if the mutant freezing effects had lingered after Sean’s death, but were now starting to weaken.  One less reminder of the devastation wrought by the meteor fall that had accompanied his arrival on Earth would be welcome.

 

As Lex jogged backward to see if anyone was following them, Clark eyed him surreptitiously, weighing the pros and cons of picking Lex up and speeding him to safety.

 

Perhaps his thoughts weren’t as hidden as he intended, because Lex glanced at him and then did a double-take.  Pointing a finger at Clark, he warned, “Don’t even think it.  Just keep running.  We’ll lose him in the forest.”

 

He could go with that plan for the time being, but he wouldn’t let Lex get hurt, even if it meant revealing more than he wanted to.  His secret wasn’t worth Lex’s life, especially now that he was allowing Clark farther into it.

 

As they climbed the hill toward the access road, Lex veered off into the trees with Clark right behind him.  They continued ascending carefully, not wanting to leave an easy trail to follow.  Near the top they squatted down to rest and to listen for pursuit. 

 

Not hearing anything, Clark relaxed a little bit.  Mr. Lincoln was no athlete, so he may have given up.  Someone at the mansion was bound to have called the police by now, so they only had to wait a while and head back to the house.

 

He knew he’d jumped the gun with that assumption when Lex, who had been in the process of dialing his cell phone, suddenly looked over Clark’s shoulder, eyes widening.  Clark stood and spun around, but the mutant was right behind him and shoved him before he could react. 

 

Stunned by the flash of pain, Clark flew across the glade and impacted with a solid tree trunk.  When his vision cleared, Lex was struggling with Lincoln, the two men grasping each other’s arms and wrestling desperately.  Lex was clearly in agony, but he wouldn’t give up.  Not Lex.  He would fight until the last scrap of life had left his body, and then some.

 

Clark staggered to his feet, then shouted, “Mr. Lincoln!  I’m warning you to let him go.”

 

The smaller man flung Lex to the ground and turned on Clark.  “Enough!  You have to stop interfering.”

 

When Lincoln started toward him, Clark tried to use his speed to avoid the touch, but found his reactions lethargic.  He stumbled over a root and sprawled onto the ground, where he was pressed into the soil with one hand on his back. 

 

The pain was beyond anything he could comprehend.  He couldn’t breathe.  He couldn’t think or move.  It felt like his body was disintegrating while his consciousness looked on impotently.  He was dying, there was no doubt about that.  As even his awareness began to darken, he was filled with regret.  He didn’t want to die this way.  He didn’t want to leave his parents or Lana, Pete and Chloe.  Or Lex.  Lex…

 

~~**~~

 

 

Lex pulled himself to his knees shakily and looked up to see Lincoln crouching beside Clark’s prone body.  The boy was trembling violently as if in a seizure, and it scared Lex to death.   Clark was the strong one, the heroic protector, but more than that, Lex loved him.  He wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt his friend.  Lex knew he couldn’t live without him, not in any meaningful way, and he wasn’t about to try.

 

Stumbling to his feet, he scanned the area for a weapon, nearly tripping over a fallen branch.  Lex grabbed the branch and lurched toward the enemy.  With a roar of anger that boiled up from deep in his chest, he swung the heavy end toward Lincoln with perhaps more force than strictly necessary.  The wood contacted the side of the man’s head and knocked him several feet.

 

After making sure the mutant would stay down, including noting the small pool of blood forming under the man’s head, Lex dropped beside Clark and pulled him over onto his back.  His hands on the beloved face and solid chest, he nearly panicked to find the boy not breathing.

 

“Clark!  Come on, Clark!  Don’t do this.  Not now!”

 

Force of will battling hysteria, he ran through first-aid basics.  Position head and neck.  Check airway.  Pinch nostrils.  Open mouth.  Breathe deep.  Press lips to form seal.  Blow.  He added prayer and pleading for Clark to revive.

 

After three breaths Clark gasped and groaned, and Lex collapsed onto his chest, shaking with relief.  He wrapped the larger body in his arms as firmly as he was able, and rocked gently.  Rocking them both for comfort and connection.

 

“God, Clark, you scared me.  You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?  Don’t ever put yourself at risk for me.  Don’t ever put me through this again.”

 

Clark moaned slightly against his neck, and when Lex pulled back to look at his face, the eyelids were barely fluttering.  Clark was still sick.

 

Straightening up and taking a deep breath, Lex got himself under control again.  No time to fall apart yet.  He located his cell phone under some disturbed leaves and began to dial 911, then stopped and hit the speed-dial button for the Kent farmhouse.  It seemed to ring forever.

 

“Come on, answer the goddamn phone!”

 

Finally, Jonathan Kent’s voice, sounding out of breath, come on the line.

 

“Kent residence.”

 

“Mr. Kent, it’s Lex Luthor.”

 

“Hello, Lex.  Isn’t…”

 

“Listen, Mr. Kent.  Clark and I were attacked by someone with special abilities.”

 

“The guy from last night?”

 

“Yes, please listen.  Clark is hurt.  I need you to come and get him.  Drive on the access road in the state park behind my estate.  I’ll try to get him to the road or leave a signal where to stop.”

 

“Good god.  Lex, is Clark all right?”

 

“I think he will be, but he’s in bad shape.  Hurry.”

 

He snapped the phone shut and tried to rouse Clark.

 

“Wake up, my friend.  Daddy’s coming to take you home.”

 

Clark could barely slur, “Lex?”

 

“I’m here.  It’s going to be all right.  I need to get you up.”

 

It wasn’t easy for Lex to get a groggy six foot three of solid muscle onto its feet, and ended up carrying most of Clark’s weight himself.  He struggled up the hill under the back-breaking load, with the determination that he had to do this.  He had to get Clark to safety if it was the last thing he did.

 

Finally the gravel surface came into sight.  He practically dropped Clark into the grass behind a bush and collapsed next to him, panting.  Clark’s eyes were focusing on him now, but the boy still couldn’t seem to speak or move much on his own.

 

“It’s going to be okay, Clark.  Everything’s going to be fine, I promise.”

 

Those big green eyes held him, and the tousled head nodded.  Lex couldn’t stop himself from leaning down to plant a quick kiss on the perfect nose.

 

Hearing a rumbling, Lex looked up to see the Kent’s red truck trundling along the road.  With a last pat on Clark’s shoulder, Lex staggered onto the road just as the truck came abreast.

 

The doors opened and Jonathan and Martha Kent poured out with a speed that rivaled Clark’s own.  Lex didn’t wait for them to greet him or fuss.

 

“He’s over here.”

 

After leading the pair to their son, Lex stood back as they checked over his body and prodded him with questions.  Clark was able to say a few reassuring words and move his arms and legs on command.  The parents between them hoisted the tall boy to his feet and maneuvered him to the truck. 

 

When Clark and Martha were safely settled in the cab, Jonathan closed the door and moved toward the driver’s side.  He suddenly stopped and looked at Lex, who was still standing somewhat forlornly in the weeds.

 

Jonathan said, “We saw that there were police at the mansion when we drove by.”

 

“Good.  Once you’ve gone I’ll call and they can be here within minutes.  I’m sure they’ll want to speak to Clark, but I didn’t want them to see him like this.  They might have insisted he go to the hospital.”

 

Lex met Jonathan’s eyes and saw several emotions pass across the older man’s face.  Fear, anger, astonishment, and finally something like acceptance. 

 

Jonathan nodded.  He started for the truck and turned back once again.

 

“That guy really hurt Clark.  What about you?  Are you all right?”

 

“He got me too, but it seems to be much worse for Clark for some reason.  I’ll be fine.”

 

“Thank you for taking care of my son.”

 

Lex didn’t have a lot of experience responding to sincere gratitude.  He nodded and said, “I’m…happy to.”

 

As he watched the truck pull away, knocking small puffs of dust into the air, he dialed the police.  Soon he was leading the sheriff into the woods, back to an unconscious body and some serious explaining.

 

~~**~~

 

 

Things had been quiet lately.  Seeing their son incapacitated again so soon after the spoor illness had shaken Jonathan and his wife to the core, but true to form the boy had recovered completely within an hour.  They speculated that something about Lincoln’s meteor rock induced mutation interacted especially intensely with Clark’s physiology.  That was as close to losing him as Jonathan ever wanted to come.

 

Now, several days later, things seemed to be getting back to normal.  It was with trepidation that Jonathan had entered the feed store, prepared to endure more looks and comments.  Instead, Gordy had barely spared a, “Mornin’, Jonathan,” for him.  He and several other men had their heads together over the counter.  Jonathan didn’t need special hearing to learn that Phil Berber’s wife had run away with a waiter from the Wild Coyote, and that the pair were now living in sin in Metropolis.

 

Apparently Lex Luthor was old news.  Jonathan shook his head and speculated that in Smallville attention deficit disorder was probably a survival skill.

 

Driving home, his thoughts led him again to Lex Luthor.  He still had an uneasy feeling about his association with Clark.  All he had to do was remember them sitting on the floor of mansion office, Clark’s arms around a bleeding Lex, to know exactly why.  The billionaire had been important to his son since they met, but he was afraid that lately it had become something more.  While Jonathan was ready to admit that Lex wasn’t such a bad guy, he was certainly not ready for any kind of, he shuddered, intimate relationship between them.  He, at least, had not forgotten those disturbing photos.

 

Clark had never been easy, and it would be unreasonable to expect that to change now, but darn it, couldn’t the boy have stuck with his fixation on Lana Lang?  There was no one safer in the world than her, especially since they never seemed to get past first base.

 

Jonathan would just have to be vigilant, reasonable, fatherly.  If only he were more confident of being able to protect Clark from himself.  He wasn’t a little boy anymore.

 

~~**~~

 

 

With his parents at an auction for the rest of the day, Clark was spending his time brooding in the Fortress of Solitude.  He was lying on the couch thinking about his favorite subject, a young man with the initials L.L.   Lex had told him to come back when things were resolved and returned to normal, but how the heck was he supposed to recognize normal?  There wasn’t even one thing in Clark’s life that approached normal, especially not the person who had his heart.

 

There wasn’t anyone he could ask, either.  Chloe was starting to get that look she used to have about Lana every time he mentioned Lex.  Lana was going out of her way to say nice things about their mutual friend and casting him nervous glances, as though she wanted to see if it would make Clark like her more.  Girls were so strange. 

 

Pete had never cared for Lex, and that hadn’t changed, but he did seem to get it that something was different.  Clark wasn’t looking forward to telling his oldest friend just how true that was.  How much weirdness could he expect Pete to be able to handle?

 

And Lex himself?  What if his admission of attraction to Clark had been part of his temporary vulnerability?  It was so hard to tell what he really meant.  Lex used the same slightly bemused, aloof tone for just about everything, which made it difficult to get all the subtext of his words.   What if he’d thought about it and decided it wasn’t worth the hassle of trying to have a relationship with a teenage kid?

 

Clark pursed his lips and scowled at the ceiling in irritation.

 

“Why the sour face, Clark?  Have dairy futures dropped?”

 

Clark leapt to his feet, a wide smile now stretching his cheeks.

 

“Lex!  You came!”

 

“So I have.  I thought maybe it was time we had a talk about where our friendship might go from here.”

 

Lex was wearing that gorgeous long-sleeved gray wool sweater that made Clark want to rub his face against it.

 

“You haven’t changed your mind, have you?  I still want what we said, to be together.”

 

“I haven’t changed my mind.”  Lex looked slightly sad.  “I just don’t want to ruin everything between us.  Your friendship is that important to me.”

 

“I’m glad, and I don’t think anything will get ruined.  I think it’ll be great.”

 

Especially when he got a chance to trace those shoulder blades and collarbones with his tongue.

 

“In that case,” he assumed his executive persona and strode toward the window, “let’s establish the acceptable parameters.”

 

“Lex,” Clark whined, “this is just us, not a multi-million dollar contract.”

 

“We are much more valuable than a big business deal.  I meant what I said about wanting to do this right.  Please understand, Clark.  You saw the pictures of what it was like for me when I was young, and there’s more you don’t know.  I’ve never been with anyone when it wasn’t about one of us using the other.  I even married a woman who was already plotting to kill me, and wouldn’t be that surprised if Helen had planned something similar.  I don’t have great experience with having the type of relationship I want to have with you.  I need to take it slowly.”

 

Clark could understand that.  For him it would be a new and wonderful adventure, but for Lex it must be like crossing a mine field.

 

“Okay.  That’s all right with me as long as you’re honest about what’s going on.”

 

“I plan to be.  And with your parents as well.”

 

“My parents?”  Clark gulped.  “What do they have to do with it?”

 

“Doing it right means no secrets from your parents.  They deserve better than that.  I’m going to sit down with them and ask for permission to date you.  Discreetly, of course.”

 

This didn’t sound so good.

 

“Are you serious?  Nobody does that anymore.”

 

“This isn’t a normal situation.  For one thing they know quite a bit more about me than parents usually would.  They’re bound to have concerns and I want to assuage that.  There’s also the age difference and the fact that we’re the same sex.  If I wanted to go out with a sixteen year old girl, I would need her parents’ permission.  The fact that you’re a boy makes it even more complicated.”

 

“I see what you mean, and I don’t want to lie to them either, but they’re not going to be easy to convince.  The ironic thing that came out of this whole mess, though, is that my father seems to have developed new respect for you.”

 

“That is bizarre,” but Lex looked pleased.  “They will agree eventually, I can be very persuasive.  I want to reassure them that sexually, we’re going to take it slowly.”

 

Clark couldn’t quite swallow.

 

“You’re going to talk to my parents about our sex life?”

 

“In general terms, yes.  They need to know that I won’t be rushing you into anything.”

 

“But Lex, what if I want to rush?”  He stepped into Lex’s space so that he could feel his new boyfriend’s body heat.  The erection that just being around this man provoked was becoming painful.

 

Laughing, Lex embraced Clark and pulled him close. 

 

“I said slow, not stop.  I don’t want your raging teenage hormones to torture you needlessly.  There will be limits to how far we go, though.”

 

Clinging to Lex, Clark was secretly relieved.  While he knew he wanted some kind of sex, he wasn’t ready for the whole having a cock up his butt thing just yet.  Might be something to work up to.

 

Then Lex moved against him and his body responded with driving need.  It occurred to him that there was no time like the present for testing those limits.

 

Clark took a step back, and stripped off restrictive clothes until he stood naked.  Lex’s eyes threatened to pop out of his head as he looked Clark up and down.  That reaction helped mitigate the extreme embarrassment of having another person actually look at his body.  He withstood it because, he thought, no guts no glory.

 

“Holy sweet mother of mercy.  You’re so beautiful, Clark.  You’re perfect.”

 

“I’m not perfect, but I want you so much.  Do you want me?”

 

Lex met his eyes.  “How the hell am I supposed to resist this?  Yes, I want you.  You wouldn’t, by any chance, be having a small problem with your teenage hormones?  I did say I would help with that.”

 

The older man leaned forward and brushed his lips over Clark’s, then across his cheek.  He shivered when Lex whispered into his ear, “I want you.”

 

Fists clenched in restrained desire, he stood still and let Lex run smooth palms over his exposed skin.  He felt like such a kid, but totally trusted Lex to take care of him.  This was his first real, mutual sexual experience, and he was in the hands of a master.

 

Lost in the sensation of touch, Clark followed the path of the talented mouth as it worked its way down his neck and across his chest.  A light touch to his left nipple shot a bolt of fire to his groin, and he arched forward for more.

 

Warm breath caressed his ear again as Lex murmured, “I’m going to make you feel so good, Clark.”

 

Oh, god.  Oh, yes.  Please!

 

“Look at me, Clark.”

 

Opening eyes that he hadn’t been aware of squeezing shut, he gasped at the look on Lex’s face, cheeks flushed and pupil’s dilated with desire.  This was really happening.  Lex Luthor was making love to him.

 

Then Lex began to lower himself to his knees, drawing Clark’s eyes down with his own.  He thought he was going to explode with excitement just to see Lex’s face near his upright erection.  It got impossibly more intense when the other man grasped Clark’s hips and sucked the head of his cock into a warm, wet mouth.

 

Now all Clark’s need was concentrated into that one place, a throbbing, pulsing pleasure beyond anything he’d imagined.  Lex bobbed forward and back, taking his organ further in each time.  It was so good, so hot.

 

But Clark wanted more of him involved than just that one place, amazing as it was.  He wanted to touch Lex, feel their bodies together.  Like it had been that first night in Lex’s bed.  With a growl, he pushed Lex’s shoulders away and flung him onto the couch, immediately followed by himself.

 

Wasting no time, he started to pull the sweater up the slender torso, but was stopped by firm hands.

 

“No, Clark.  Limits.  This is one of them.”

 

“But I want to touch you.”

 

“In time.  Your wanton nudity is enough for now.  Kiss me.”

 

Clark happily devoured Lex’s mouth and began to rub himself against every bit of body he could reach.  The texture of fine wool and linen against his sensitized skin was amazing.  And when he felt Lex’s erection beneath the cloth barrier, it nearly blew his mind.

 

He wanted his own cock to meet that hardness, and rocked his hips with firm thrusts along Lex’s length.  He moaned and pushed and bit and writhed, needing so much.  He took more than he ever had from anyone, more than he was really comfortable with.   He knew he should be gentler, but he felt reckless and selfish and so fucking good.

 

Lex urged him on with voice and hands, sounding free and open in his arousal. 

 

“Clark!  Yes!” 

 

The sound vibrated into Clark and with one final thrust he was coming.  As heat exploded behind his closed eyelids, he felt Lex grasp his hips and pull him closer, just before he heard the strangled shout that accompanied his lover’s orgasm.  He nearly crowed with triumph at having had sex with Lex and making the more experienced man cry out loud.

 

The intensity of the moment began to soften and Clark relaxed, half on top of the other man’s body and half on the couch.  He nuzzled Lex’s cheek and was rewarded with a pair of warm lips on which to nibble.  So good.  So right.  He smiled as fingers carded through his hair, trying to memorize every sensation in his body.

 

After a minute he raised his head to look down at his lover.  Stroking Lex’s slightly sticky hip, Clark asked tentatively, “Are you all right?  Down here?”

 

“I may be a little bit bruised.”  At Clark’s wince, Lex reassured, “But just a little bit.  It’s fine, really.”  Then Lex teased, “Geez, Clark, I don’t think I’ve ever felt anyone that hard.  You’re like a steel bar.”

 

This was not heartening for Clark to hear.  “My body, Lex, it’s different from other people’s.  I could hurt someone.”

 

“My lovely boy, hard is not a bad thing.  It’s very much a turn-on, actually.”

 

“I’m serious!  It’s one of the reason’s I’ve never been with a girl.  Just the thought of the damage I could do to her internally.  I was worried just now, about you.”

 

Lex searched Clark’s face.  “Well, the male organ can be used as a weapon to inflict pain.  But you would never do that.”

 

Clark whispered, “I wouldn’t mean to.”

 

His friend touched his cheek and asked thoughtfully, “This is something you’ve had to worry about all your life, isn’t it?  That you might hurt someone without intending to?”

 

Scared to be talking about this, Clark could only nod.

 

“And you’re not sure you can maintain enough control during sex?”

 

Another nod.

 

“How about this, then?  We’ll work on it.  We can practice and find out just how much control you need to make love to someone safely, then practice some more until it becomes second nature and you can relax.  It’s safe to do this with me, you know.  Robust constitution and all.”

 

Clark had to smile.  “A guy doesn’t get an offer like that every day!  That would really be great.”

 

Lex went on, “And then when you have more confidence, if you want to be with a woman, you can.”

 

Now smirking openly, Clark teased, “Uh, hello?  That isn’t going to be an issue any more.”

 

Lex smiled back, seemingly glad for the affirmation, but cautioned.  “You’re young still.  You may change your mind.”

 

“And I may not.  Don’t teach me how to make love to a woman, Lex.  Teach me how to make love to you.”

 

The sort of melting, dazed expression on Lex’s face made everything they’d been through to get there worth it.  The fact that Lex’s voice was choked with emotion, happy emotion, as he managed to say, “Okay,” was equally cherished.

 

Clark settled within a strong embrace and Lex began to pet him tenderly, love flowing through his fingertips.  He felt there was nothing that could happen that was so bad they couldn’t get through it together.  And that was very good.

 

End

 

 

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