Title: Homesick
Author: Joolz
Feedback: If you like J [email protected]
Category: Gen, Drama, Humor
Rating: PG
Pairing: none
Season: one
Spoilers: none
Notes: Thanks to Lady Ra for the fastest beta EVER!
Summary: McKay is held hostage by someone with an
impossible demand.
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Not my lovely characters, just playing with
them.
~~**~~
“I’m telling you, McKay,
it’s a can opener.”
“Oh, it is not.”
They were in Rodney’s lab
standing over a small instrument that was lying quietly on the table top.
“Look at it. It has the blade and the wheel.” Sheppard picked it up by the handle, the
sharp edge locked down and the ridged wheel started to turn. “What the hell else could it be?”
Rodney frowned at the
device. It did look disconcertingly like
the can opener in his kitchen drawer back on Earth. There was no way he was going to admit that,
though.
He declared with
confidence, “It’s not a can opener.”
John set the implement
down with a bang and glared at Rodney. “How can you be so sure?”
“Well,” McKay continued
reasonably, “think about it. In all our
exploration of this city, has anyone ever found anything remotely resembling a
can? No.
Not even the stray tin of baked beans hiding in the back of a
cupboard. Why would the Ancients make a
can opener if they didn’t use cans?”
“Just because we haven’t
found any doesn’t mean there never were any.
You know how efficient the recycling system is. They could have been living entirely on baked
beans toward the end and threw the last can into the trash right before they
stepped through to Earth. No one would
ever know.”
Rodney had to nod in
agreement. “Much to the disappointment
of the archaeologists. No middens
anywhere to excavate. But Major, you
can’t use the lack of evidence to prove your theory. It isn’t a can opener until you find an
Ancient can and open it.”
John’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, then, Mr. Know-it-all. What do you think it is?”
Rodney was saved from
having to come up with something totally outrageous, farfetched and yet
plausible by a voice over the intercom.
Elizabeth Weir’s smooth
intonation requested, “Major Sheppard?
Would you come to the control room for a minute?”
“I’ll be right there,” he
answered, then turned back to Rodney.
“You’d better come up with a good explanation before I get back, or I’m
taking it down to the kitchen. I think the
cooks have suffered enough for having forgotten to bring a can opener with
them. Teamwork, Rodney. The good of the whole. Save wear and tear on the Swiss army knives.”
As Sheppard was leaving,
Rodney called out, “It’s not a can opener!”
Actually, looking at it
again, that could be exactly what it was.
Now all Rodney had to do was find a can to prove his theory.
Lost in speculation as to
where the Ancients might have stored such things, he barely noticed the door
open and a figure step in. He started
tapping at his laptop keyboard to bring up the Atlantis schematics.
Without looking up, he
snapped, “What do you want? Can’t you
see I’m busy?”
“Dr. McKay?” The voice was shaking with emotion, which cut
right through his self-absorption. In
his gut he knew that something horrible had happened.
Rodney looked up to find
one of the youngest of the science team standing before him, Jay Mason. The blond haired, blue eyed young man looked
like he’d stepped right out of an
“Mason. What’s the matter?”
The boy, Rodney couldn’t
help thinking of him as a boy, swallowed and said, “I want to go home.”
Huh. The city wasn’t about to collapse? No one was dying of an alien parasitic
infestation? The Wraith weren’t having
lunch in the cafeteria? What did it have
to do with him, then?
“Thank you so much for
sharing that riveting news flash with me.
As you can see, though, this is my lab, not your quarters. Run along and stop bothering the genius at
work.”
Mason shifted a little
closer. “No, you don’t understand. I want you to send me home. To Earth.
I can’t stay here anymore.”
Great, it was probably a
practical joke. He glared, “Who put you
up to this? It isn’t amusing, it’s a
waste of my time.”
The boy raised his arm and
suddenly the business end of a handgun was about three inches from Rodney’s
nose. Mason insisted, “I’m not
joking. I want you to fix the ‘Gate so
that I can go home to Earth. I know
you’re the one who can do it. You have
to.”
The kid’s eyes were wild
but his hand was steady. McKay thought
that he might have misjudged; it seemed that something bad was happening after
all. Guns pointed at him were
always bad.
“Look, Mason, I
sympathize. I really do. But you knew that was part of the deal; go to
Atlantis and stay there. One way
trip. We can’t go back, there isn’t
enough power.”
“Yes there is. I heard some of the engineers talking. We have enough power, it’ll just take all of
it to activate the ‘Gate to Earth. That’s
what I want you to do.”
“And risk total systems
failure here on Atlantis? I don’t think
so.”
Mason’s voice cracked with
stress. “I’m sorry about that, but I
have to go home. You can all come too if
you want, but I’m getting out of here. I
can’t take it! If I can’t go I’ll kill
you and then myself. I mean it!”
Unfortunately, it was
clear to Rodney that he did mean it. A
lunatic-with-a-gun hostage situation.
Wonderful. He held up his hands
in the universal ‘calm down’ gesture.
“Okay, Mason. We’ll send you
home. Let’s go down to the control room
and I’ll set it up.”
“No! I’m not stupid. You want to get me where they can jump
me. We’ll stay right here until it’s
ready. You tell the others what to do.”
“All right. I will need to talk to the others, you know.”
Mason motioned toward the
intercom with his gun. “Talk to
them. Don’t try to trick me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
~~**~~
Sheppard agreed to Team
2’s request to stay another couple of days on the planet they were visiting and
signaled Grodin to shut down the Stargate.
The natives had some sort of friendship ritual that had to be performed
before they would agree to trade. John
was glad it was the other team. If it
had been his, the friendship ritual would no doubt have involved mud and/or
blood. Since it was Bates, upon whom it
would be wasted, it probably meant an extended feast and belly dancers.
McKay’s voice, sounding
perturbed, came through the intercom.
“Hello? Is Weir there?”
“Oh, you can dial the
‘Gate to Earth.”
The woman smiled. “Of course, Rodney. And for my next trick I’ll come down the
chimney in a red suit and fill everyone’s stockings with toys.”
They could hear McKay sigh
before he answered. “We have a situation.”
Suddenly John knew that
Rodney wasn’t joking. He leaned in and
asked, “What kind of a situation are you talking about, McKay?”
“Oh, Major. You’ll enjoy this. I’m here in my lab with Dr. Mason and he’s
holding a gun to my head. If we don’t dial
Earth and send him through, bang. No
more Rodney.”
Sheppard, Weir and Grodin
looked at each other. This was a new
one.
“Just fine. This is so much fun.” Sarcasm dripped from his words, even through the
speaker. “It’s just like being on a TV
show. All the heroes have to be taken
hostage by a mad gunman at least once, and here I get to do it twice. What a pleasure.” He was referring to the unfortunate incident
with Kolya and John hoped that this one would be a little less dramatic.
Weir said, “Dr.
Mason? Can you hear me?”
“I hear you.”
“Dr. Mason, what’s your
first name?”
“Uh, Jay.”
“Jay, you can call me
Elizabeth. Why don’t you tell me what’s
going on. We’ll find a way to resolve
this without anyone getting hurt.”
“You just have to send me
to Earth. That’s all. Or else I’ll kill McKay.”
“Jay, you must know that
we’re unable to dial Earth. If we could
have we would have done it by now. We
can’t contact Earth, but we do have each other.
Could I come down there so we can talk about this face to face?”
The man’s voice sounded
more agitated. “No! I watch TV, too. You just want to trick me. No one comes in here, or I’ll shoot
McKay. I don’t want to talk to you! Just send me home!”
“Shut up!”
There was a loud noise and
then the intercom fell silent. It
sounded to John like the kid had shot out the speaker. Not playing with a full deck, but then he had
already guessed that.
Weir took charge. “Major, I want you to get up to the lab and
get as much information as you can.
Don’t go in unless I tell you to.”
“Right.” He called Ford and told him to meet him
outside the lab. As he left, he heard
Weir asking Drs. Heightmeyer and Beckett to come to the control room. He hoped she had a plan.
~~**~~
“Oh, that was just
brilliant.” Rodney threw his hands up in
exasperation. “What do you expect us to
do now?”
Mason started pacing erratically, waving the gun in
the air, then turned and pointed it straight at Rodney. “You get into the back corner of the
room. I don’t want you near your
computer or equipment. Find a way to
talk to them and tell them what to do.”
Okay, nothing like
contradictory orders to clear things up.
“Mason, I’m going to get
the radio earpiece out of my desk. I’ll
be able to talk to them that way. All
right?”
The young man’s eyes
narrowed suspiciously. “Just don’t try
anything.”
“Desk, radio, corner. Got it.”
Keeping his hands in plain
sight, he walked to his desk and pulled out a small side drawer. Slowly lifting out the black earpiece, he
fitted it to his head. “See, no
problem.” Mason followed him farther
into the lab and watched while he moved a chair into the corner. After seating himself, he asked, “Is it all
right if I call Dr. Weir now?”
“Go ahead. Just don’t-“
“Try anything. I know.”
He flipped the small
switch and called, sing-songing, “Oh,
After a moment he heard,
“Rodney! What happened?”
“Our Clyde Barrow here
assassinated the intercom. I have my
headset on.”
“Good thinking. Is Jay listening to us now?”
With exaggerated patience
he said, “No, Elizabeth.”
Mason stepped closer. “What is she saying?”
“She just wanted to know
if I’m injured. She’s very concerned
about my health, you know.”
“She’d better be. Tell them to power up the ‘Gate.”
Rodney heard Sheppard’s
voice speaking to
Weir answered, “Stay
there. Dr. Beckett is putting together a
knock-out gas just in case.”
Rodney wondered if they
were going to chatter all day.
“Hello? Elizabeth, this kid means
business. You’re just going to have to
institute Emergency Protocol B6.” He
paused for effect. “Well, I think this
qualifies as an emergency.”
There was a puzzled
silence on the other end, then he heard Grodin say, probably to Weir, “No,
there isn’t any EPB6.”
Rodney continued, “Yes, I
know what will happen. All other systems
will have to be powered down. We can
bring them back on-line one at a time after we’ve sent Mason through.”
Weir said, “Rodney, you do
know we can’t do that, right?”
With only half-feigned
exasperation, he answered, “Yes, of course I know that.”
Mason jabbed the gun
angrily toward McKay. “What are they
saying? What’s going on?” He was looking more and more frantic.
Remembering the fate of
the intercom, Rodney decided that a little placating of the man with the gun
might be in order.
“Easy, Mason. It’s all right. They’re just naturally concerned about the
effects this might have on Atlantis, but they’re definitely going to send you
to Earth. Just calm down.”
A new voice came through
the radio. “Dr. McKay, this is Kate
Heightmeyer. You’re doing very
well. You need to keep talking to him. Be nice.”
Be nice. Of course.
He was so good at that. Rodney
snorted and heard some chuckles that he just knew were from Sheppard. He’d get even later.
Heightmeyer went on, “Ask
him about himself. Get him to talk about
what he’s feeling.”
Rodney said to the young
man, “They’re getting the plans and will start shutting down systems right
away. They have to do it in a certain
order or too much power will be wasted.
It’ll take a while, so why don’t you sit down.”
Mason frowned, but looked
around for a chair. As he pulled one
over to sit facing Rodney, Grodin began talking.
“All right, McKay, I think
I understand where you’re going with this.
We pretend to shut down systems, pretend to dial Earth but really dial
some place else and send him through.”
Rodney said, “Yes, that’s
good, Mason. No reason for you to be
uncomfortable. So, where are you from?”
Sheppard drawled, “Subtle,
McKay. I hope that’s not your pick up
line.”
Weir admonished, “Major,”
then Grodin said, “Some pyrotechnics will probably be in order to make it look
realistic. Maybe a nice, screechy sound
effect. Mason is a biologist. He won’t know the difference.”
Were these people taking
this at all seriously? Grodin was
enjoying this way too much. Rodney added
him to the list of people to get revenge on later.
He realized that Mason was
in the middle of a rambling elegy to the wonders of
The young man said, “I
just miss it so much. I didn’t know it
would be like this here. I didn’t
understand. There are no plants
here. All anybody can talk about is the
Wraith coming to kill us.” His voice
broke. “I want to go home.”
Rodney really did feel
sorry for him. Everybody had been
screened and was supposedly up to taking on this mission, but there was really
no way of knowing for sure until they were in situ. He wished they actually could send the boy
home.
“Mason. Jay. I
know how you feel. There are things I
miss, too. There’s an ice cream parlor
on the corner of Denman and Haro in Vancouver that makes an incredible
chocolate raspberry ripple. You know,
the kind they mix by hand on a slab. And
there was a swimming pool across the street from my apartment building. I remember the sound of the kids playing
there in the summer. I loved that. Earth is our home. No matter where else we go, there’ll be something
connecting us, calling us back. I
promise we’ll do everything we can so that you can see the Kansas sunset again.”
The biologist blinked back
tears and swallowed. Then he jumped to
his feet and pointed the gun at Rodney.
“Today! I want to go home today! What’s taking so long?”
McKay’s heart started
thumping. “Yes, you’ll go home
today. You don’t need the gun, Jay,
please put it down. I’ll ask them how
much longer it will be. I’m sure the
Stargate’ll be ready soon. You need to
stay calm.”
Sheppard said in his ear,
“Rodney, if you need us to come in there say the word ‘peach’ and hit the
ground. If the guy’s losing it, don’t
wait too long. Understand?”
Watching the unstable man
wipe his eyes on his sleeve, the gun still pointed at him, Rodney said evenly,
“Yes, Dr. Weir. Jay would like to know
when he’ll be able to go home.”
The woman answered, “We’re
almost ready. We’ll be dimming the
lights in your section in a couple of minutes.
You might want to warn him so it won’t be a surprise.”
Rodney nodded. “I
understand.” Then to Mason, “It will
only be a little while. They’re shutting
down power all over the city. The lights
will go out in here pretty soon, and then we’ll be ready to go to the
‘Gate. It’s almost over. Just hold on a little longer.”
~~**~~
Waiting in the hallway,
John was really hating this. His first
priority was to rescue McKay, but the troubled young man in that room was one
of John’s people, too. He hoped he
wouldn’t have to shoot him. He didn’t
come here to kill his own. It had been
one of the first things he’d done in the Pegasus Galaxy and he didn’t want a
scared kid to start showing up along side Sumner in his dreams.
McKay’s hyper-calm voice
wasn’t helping. It had to be bad if the
boisterous scientist felt the need to be that controlled. John was right there with the kid in
wondering what the hell was taking so long.
The lights went out,
plunging them into pitch blackness, then the emergency lighting flickered on,
casting everything in shadows.
John heard McKay
reassuring Mason that it was all right.
He wished that he could see what was happening, or at least hear both
sides, but he trusted his team mate to handle the situation or call for backup
if needed. He glanced at Ford beside him
and saw that the lieutenant was alert and poised to move. Good man.
Weir said over the radio,
“Okay, Rodney, we’re ready. Sheppard and
Ford are in the hall, and they’re going to escort you to the gate room. Just take it slow and easy, and everything
will be fine.” McKay acknowledged and
began talking Mason through the procedure.
He heard, “Jay, it’s time
to go. Major Sheppard and Lt. Ford are
outside, but they won’t hurt you. We’ll
just walk to the Stargate, and you’ll be going home.” There was a pause. “It’s all right. I don’t blame you. You’re doing your best. Are you ready?”
Seconds later the door
opened and the two men stepped into the dim hallway. Mason was standing close behind McKay with
the barrel of his pistol pressed into the side of his hostage’s neck. He saw John and Aiden with their weapons
ready and shouted, “Get back! You aren’t
going to stop me. I’ll kill him if you
try.”
With a hand motion, he and
Ford fell back several feet. John said,
“Don’t worry, son. Nobody wants to stop
you. It’s our job to make sure you don’t
hurt anybody else, is all. You know the
way to the ‘Gate from here. Just go
ahead.”
Mason started walking
backwards down the hallway, keeping McKay between himself and John. It looked like Rodney was having a hard time
staying in step while trying not to jostle the man with the gun. That had to really suck. Mason kept looking behind him to make sure no
one was there, which threw everything off more, but they made steady
progress.
After several turns and
one very awkward flight of stairs, they stepped into the ‘Gate room. As Mason pulled Rodney into the center of the
open space in front of the Stargate, he looked up and yelled, “Dial it! Now!”
The ‘Gate began to dial,
and the low lighting flickered as if the power drain were affecting it. Sparks flew around the outside of the
naquadah ring, and a shrill whine made it sound like the mechanism was
struggling. Grodin had done a good
job. It wasn’t a normal ‘Gate
activation, but it wasn’t over the top, either.
The event horizon whooshed
into existence and Mason dragged McKay toward it. John stepped forward and called, “Mason! You need to leave the gun here. There’ll be SF’s on the other side, and they
won’t like it if you come through armed.”
The kid looked at him in
confusion, then nodded. He kept the gun
on Rodney until they were standing right next to the wormhole. Mason said to McKay, “You can come, too! You can go home.”
McKay looked at him
sadly. “You go ahead. I think I’m already there.”
Mason said, “I’m sorry,
Dr. McKay,” dropped the gun, and stepped into the wormhole.
Immediately,
Stackhouse, Beckett and two Marines came around a corner and followed the man
through the ‘Gate, which then shut down.
John walked up to McKay,
who was standing dejectedly in front of the empty ring. Putting a hand on the scientist’s shoulder, he
asked, “You all right?”
Rodney smiled wanly. “I’m fine.
Just tired.”
From the upper level, Weir
called, “Incoming wormhole.”
John and Rodney moved
back, but stayed to watch as five men came through, Mason’s thin frame held
easily in the arms of one of the Marines.
Rodney asked Beckett, “Is
he okay?”
“Aye. He’s sedated.
We’ll take good care of him, not to worry.”
Weir and Heightmeyer
joined them. The psychologist said, “I’m
sorry. I knew he was having a hard time,
but I had no idea it had gone this far.
It’s like he just snapped.”
Elizabeth nodded. “The stress is hard on everybody. It actually surprises me that we don’t have
more mental problems than we do.”
Rodney smiled
sardonically, the sparkle coming back into his eyes. “Speak for yourself. I’m constantly aware of being surrounded by
lunatics and madmen. Sometimes I think
I’m the only sane person here.”
John grinned at him. “Sounds like delusions of grandeur to me.”
Kate Heightmeyer shook her
head and quipped, “I’m not even going to start.”
~~**~~
Rodney was shoveling rice
and vegetables into his mouth when Sheppard sat down across from him. The lunch room was filled with people going
about what passed for an ordinary day in the Pegasus Galaxy. He knew that the major had just gotten back
from a trip to the mainland.
As John took a sip of his
coffee, Rodney asked, “So how is Mason doing?”
Sheppard’s face
brightened. “Great! Holling has taken him under his wing. They spend most of their time working in the
vegetable patch, and apparently the kid has calmed down a lot. I guess not everyone was cut out to live in a
high-tech, miracle-around-every-corner city.”
Not bothering to swallow
first, Rodney answered, “Dirt and bugs and god knows what, he’s welcome to
them. Give me a clean, elegant,
artificial construct any day.”
They ate in silence for a
while, then Rodney said, “You know, I think I figured out where the Ancients
might have kept their canned goods. Want
to accompany me on an exploratory excursion this afternoon?”
John blinked at him. “Canned goods?”
“Yes, so we can see if the
can opener works.”
The dark haired man waved
his fork at Rodney. “I knew it! You admit that it’s a can opener.”
“I admit that it’s a
possibility. However, I intend to prove
it one way or the other, unlike someone I know who will settle for a flight of
fancy.”
Sheppard grinned. “Wanna make a bet on it?”
“All right. If it’s a can opener you clean the floor in
my lab.”
John frowned. “Wait a minute! You can’t bet that it is a can opener. I was the one who said it first.”
“Quibbler. Then, if it is a can opener, you can choose
whether to clean the floor in my lab or in my room.”
“Rodney,” Sheppard growled
warningly.
They continued to bicker,
but it was all in good natured. Rodney
really hoped that it was a can opener, because he absolutely loved baked beans.
End
Feedback to Joolz Atlantis Gen Storygate Home