Percy Minge's Popstars
Hi! I'm Percy Minge and I'd like to welcome you to my exciting new project - Percy Minge's Popstars - a chance for ordinary, boring people like you to get a leg up on the stepladder of success, armed only with the paintbrush of your talent, and clad in the dungarees of determination, to add a coat or two to the ceiling of opportunity, while I take care of the money.
In the next few weeks I'll be auditioning talent from around the country, whittling out the chaff and sorting through the deepest pool of the flower of the mountain of Britain's youth to find the best, yes, and the worst, the deepest and the shallowest, the thinnest and the thickest raw gutbusting talent to emerge from the writhing, simmering, screaming hotbed of a pulsating cocoon of steaming genius that is Britain today.
We must embrace this opportunity as a springboard that opens new doors, a key that sets sail for the stairway to the goal of opening up the first step of our epic battle with a final destination that is deep within ourselves, reaching up to scale new depths on the high wire of the greatest challenge of all - the follow-up single