Jon Stewart [ Satire ] : TDS Gallery: Dean Interview


If an image does not load, try refreshing page. If you would like to use any of these screengrabs, e-mail me for permission! If an image doesn't load, righk click "show picture" on image. The Dean Interview:



Jon: Now, I watched the Sawyer interview. No, that's the kind of J-School bull shit that doesn't wash around here! She wasn't the only media heavyweight to get up close and personal with Dean. This weekend I went up to New Hampshire, to sit down with the once and and possibly future democratic frontrunner.



Jon: Fist of all Governor, I want to thank you so much for taking the time to sit down with us, I'm glad you decided to do it.



Howard: I really appreciate the opportunity, unfortunately I don't have that much time.





Jon: Governor, obviously a difficult week, you preferred to do a little bit better in Iowa, you've done some interviews with Diane Sawyer, do you consider those 'damage control' interviews?



*Howard's Thoughts:* Good question, Cronkite. Certainly its going to help some. It's good to get people to get to know me. Jon: How will you control the damage done from this? (Jon's thoughts) This is going great! *Howard's Thoughts:* You've got five minutes, jackass! Jon: The media has tried to pigeon hole you as an angry guy... *Howard's Thoughts:* Those low down, no good son of a ..... Jon: Governor, are you angry now?



*Howard's Thoughts:* Those low down, no good son of a ..... Jon: Governor, are you angry now? Howard: Oh, certianly not. Jon: How 'bout now? Howard: No, not really. Jon: Let's move on...now? Howard: No... Jon: Let's talk New Hampshire. I'm an undecided --- how 'bout now? Now? Howard: No.



Jon: Let's talk issues (uncomfortable pause) how about you start? Howard: Health insurance for every single American... *Jon's Thoughts:* Da-dum! Duh.duh duh..I like to eat buttons! Jon: Let's talk endorsements. When you found out that Al Gore wanted to endorse you...how hard did you try to get out of that one? Howard: (laughs) *Jon's thoughts:* I'm on firree...



Howard: I thought that Al Gore's endorsement was a great endorsement. *Jon thoughts:* Uh-oh Jon: Talk to us a little about your position on same sex marriage. Howard: We actually chose not to do gay marriage, what we did was to say that every same sex couple could have the same rights... *Jon's thoughts:* Mrs. Jon Dean! Mr. Howard Stewart! Howard & Jon Dean! Dr. & Mr. Jon Dean Stewart! Jon: You're also a doctor... Howard: I am! It's true that I'm a doctor. Jon: Are you a Bill Cosby doctor? Or are you a doctor-doctor? Howard: I'm a doctor-doctor in Internal Medicine. Jon: That's very interesting. If you don't mind, and I know you're obviously short on time, could you tell me what's this? (Jon lifts up his shirt) Is this normal? *Howard's thoughts:* This guy bruises like a grape. Jon: I know this is a bizarre way to do an interview. Howard: I can't wait to see it! When is it going on? Jon: On Monday. *Jon's thoughts:* After Crank Yankers...(mumbles) *Howard's Thoughts:* It's going to air in Michigan, Arizona, in Oklahoma, in New Mexico...keep it together, Howard, calm down.



Jon: Our show is a perfect venue to talk directly to young viewers. So if you could, is there anything you want to address to them? Howard: I find that young viewers care deeply about the environment and things like renewable energy, they care about the balanced budget, because they know--- Jon: I'm sorry Doctor, younger. Howard: They care about green grass, and they care about not spending any more money than they--- Jon: I'm sorry, younger. Howard: Um...people worry about cleanliness outside-- Jon: You know what? Can you just jiggle your keys?



*Jon's thoughts:* That's right...that's our audience. Jon: Doctor Dean, Governor Dean, we've been absolutely delighted that you can spend this time with us, and we really appreciate it. *Howard's Thoughts:* Come on, Howard, we're going to need a full smile here... Jon: You know, any time any thing else we can do for you-- Howard's Thoughts: Raise one corner now the other... Jon: Just come and talk to us, because we'd love to do it. Howard's Thoughts: Show some teeth. That's a nice smile, well done.



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