Perverted Poetry
By Jonathan Pennington

Here's some amusing poetry that I wrote while I was in CAD class, bored out of my mind. 
Partial credit goes out to Kenny for helping me write this, and also to Sherry for 
coming up with a few rhymes. I'll post 
some more stuff when I find more of the stories I wrote from way back when.

(Note: For some odd reason, all these sound funnier when read in a rich-guy English 
accent. I'm not sure why, but give it a go.)

Herbert the Pervert

There he sat, patiently waiting,
With time he could have spent masturbating.
With his hand in his pocket
Rubbing his rocket,
He hoped that he could get laid

So he packed up his shit,
To find a pussy to hit,
And a hooker he greatly paid


Luggy the Druggy

Luggy the Druggy couldn't choose,
Between marijuana, crack, or booze.
Every one of these are good,
But a fourth one, Viagra, gives you wood.
(There was more to this, but I can't remember it)


My left Teste

My left teste could see,
Why he produced semen, instead of pee
And he also really thinks it's dumb,
That righty doesn't also when he goes numb.
And it really sucks when he sticks to your leg,
For mercy to god you want to beg.
And I scream out in pain when he gets kicked,
And I wish I weren't so needle-dicked.


Flecro the Necro

Flecro the necro does his deed,
By implanting dead people with his seed
He said his only wish would be,
"If only they wouldn't stare at me."
He goes around digging holes,
Then when the police come, he blames it on moles.
And he thinks your grandmother's hot.
(I didn't really like where this poem was going. It was a little too sick for me, so I 
decided to give it a quick ending)


Lasso the Ass-Hoe

When Herbert the pervert hired this hooker,
He didn't know she wouldn't be a looker.
When they got into bed, Herbert got a surprise,
It turns out Lasso is a man in disguise!
But I fear it's too late for our pseudo-hero,
For his rocket's final countdown has already reached zero
(This poem was basically a sequel to Herbert the Pervert, since everyone was saying that 
a sequel should be written)

There were a lot more, but I can't remember anymore right now. I might post more of 
them later if I ever have too much free time