A reference to Jonathan's drug use during his early years.
"Another place I find to escape the pain inside"
The drugs controlled his life. They provided an escape from the pain he endured as a young adult, and he couldn't see any future direction for himself.
"see through the grey that clouds my mind"
He wants to escape the confusion in his mind but his self esteem is so low that he is not confident enough to make change for himself. He wants to leave the world and start again but he doesn't know how, so he uses drugs to distort reality.
"The meaning of ball tongue is simple. Some thought it had to do with oral sex, but infact its about a guy we had to work with on a t-shirt. He either had a pierced tongue or a wart or something on his tongue and he was a dick to us" - Jonathan Davis
While the lyrics to Ball Tongue would have you believe otherwise it has always been said that the song a guy with a pierced tongue who used to make t-shirts for the band but ended up screwing them all over.
"There you are alone, with no hope of ever having something to be proud of, something earned without begging"
It appears that the person was close to Jonathan but he had doubt that what he was doing for the band made any difference, so s/he backstabbed them. S/he disconnected her/himself from Korn and ended up doing nothing, in the hope that they would come running back to save him/her from his own self pity.
"Why are you at home buried in your own self pity? Why do you insist on living the life clean out of me? "
The person was one of few who shared time with Jonathan but became obsessed with him, expecting him to give all his attention.
"Yes, I know you're the person, the person that took time with me. Does it give you the right to expect your life revolves around me?"
Need To is about being in a relationship with someone you love so much but you are too scared to get close to them because you're paranoid that they may stop loving you.
"You pull me closer, I push you away, You tell me it's okay, I can't help but feel the pain"
Jonathan was used to being fucked over by people he loved and any future relationship was going to feel the same. Every time he thought he was getting too close he would push her away.
"I hate you .... Fuck you, bitch"
Jonathan already resents tthe girl because he's so confident that she will end up breaking his heart. He hates her before she has even done anything.
"We were playing at this show in San Diego and this skinhead guy came up and said 'Fuck You! Go back to bakersfield!' I didn't understand that I bent down and he took a swing at me. Our road manager Jeff knocked his ass out" - Jonathan Davis
"A tatooed body to hide who you are, Scared to be honest, be yourself"
It seems that this incident was a breaking point for Jon. As the Clown video shows he was a victim of torment from his peers at school because he was different. He was an individual, and this was hard for others to accept. Everyone else hid behind an image that wasn't representative of themselves, but of what others wanted them to be.
Divine is about the sting of revenge. Jonathan wanted someone who didn't want him. Then the tables turned and he found that this person wanted him now.
"You're suffering 'cause of me, it's divine" "Did you really think you'd beat me at my own game"
He wanted to show her how it felt to want someone you can't have, and he knows now that since he lost interest in her she realises what she's given up. Now it's his turn to have some fun, and he is enjoying it.
"You know what, Fuck you, I'm fed up with you, I'm not as good as you, Fuck no, I'm better than you"
Jonathan knows he's a better person than her by showing that he's not a doll that can be picked up and put down at will.
Faget "Everyone thinks I'm bashing gay people in this song, and I'm not. It's really about me going through highschool being called 'pussy', 'queer', and all that stuff, about getting picked on by all these jocks." - Jonathan Davis
Spend any time with Davis and one is likely to be subjected to an endless barrage of queer references and gay jokes. But what might initially come across as small-town homophobia turns out to be something more, a by-product of a lifetime of sexual confusion. One Davis-penned song, entitled "Faget," reflects on time spent as a Duran Duran-loving New Romantic, when the singer would don makeup and hang out in gay bars.
"Everyone thought I was gay my whole life," says Davis, "so I have to joke about it just to deal with it." - Spin Magazine
Shoots and Ladders
"It was written because all these little kids sing these nursery rhymes and they don't know what they originally meant. Everyone is so happy when singing but 'London Bridge' is about the Black Plague. All of them have these evil stories behind them."
"The lyrics are all from nursery rhymes, and a lot of nursery rhymes go back to the Middle Ages. They're actually pretty twisted if you know the stories behind them, like about Black Death and stuff." - Jonathan Davis
Another relationship cliche that Jon finds so predictable. Every relationship he goes into he's going to find himself hurt at the end. He wonders why there is any point in it at all because he'd rather die than feel the pain.
"I can in every way, mistake the pain I feel inside. It comes to me, evil thoughts is creeping through my mind"
How can he deal with the situations of a failed relationship but to remove himself from the world, or remove the other person. If he can't have them, noone can.
This is another song with a theme similar to Clown. Everyone around him hides behind an image of what their peers want them to be.
"I can't stand the sight of you, I can't stand what you put me through. Your life's a lie, that you hide. Is it that terrible being you inside?"
Jonathan is persecuted for being himself rather than another person trying to fit in with the crowd.
"You try so hard to be wanted. False emotions tells you fronted. I think being a person relies on one thing. Be yourself, let you come through"
Everyone wants to fit in so badly that they will change their appearance and opinions to that of the mainstream crowd.
"Fake, you'll regret it, you'll regret it"
Once they are older they will realise that they've wasted their youth by trying to be something they're not.
Again with the same theme of Clown and Fake, Lies picks on those who are too afraid to be themselves. People who hide behind a conformed society "I want you to see the life you have disguised"
"Do you ever see from outside your fears"
He is pointing out those who fear they too will be persecuted if they step outside the line of individuality.
Helmet in the Bush
"It's about a speed problem that I had. You know, you do a lot of speed and -- if you're a male -- your penis retracts severly."
"In the song he says:'Please God let me sleep tonight.'Jonathan had trouble sleeping, becuase that's what it does to you. The guy heard at the beggining of the song is La Caco, a friend of the band. His real name is Michael and like taco bell. He's a really Nice Guy and he has been friends with the band for years." - Jonathan Davis
"People think Daddy was written because my dad fucked me up the ass, but that's not what the song's about. It wasn't about my dad or my mom. When I was a kid I was being abused by someone else and I went to my parents and told them about it. They thought I was lying and joking around, so they never did shit about it. They didn't belive it was happening to their son." - Jonathan Davis
Chi"Chi is about a lot of alcohol and drug abuse, people turn to that when they have problems so that they won't have to feel their pain."They named the song Chi after Chi Cheng from the Deftones."We named it after him because he used to call it reggae, and he loves reggae music."
"That's about being paranoid. Drug-induced paranoia"
"It's the stereotypical thing about your best friend meeting a chick, and then you're nothing."
"It's about a guy I knew in school who I thought was my friend, but who fucked me. He came into my life with nothing, hung out at my house, lived off me, and made me do shit I really didnt want to do. I was into new romantic music and he was a mod, and he'd tell me if I didnt dress like a mod he wouldn't be my friend anymore. Whenever I had plans to go on a date with a chick he'd sabotage it , because he didn't have a date or nothing. He was a gutless nothing. I haven't talked to him for years."
"Back in the day when I was a speed freak, um..even further back when I was a little kid watchin' Mr. Rogers, that shit was scary. He was a freaky old man...Land of Makebelieve and Mr. FuckinMcFeely and shit...made me sick. So back when I was doing speed, like for 5 or 6 days I'd be tripping out and my brain would start to get freaky and get schizophrenic and stuff, and I'd tape it and watch it everyday over and over...I don't know, I was sick in the head. As a kid he told me to be polite and all it did was get me picked on. I fucking hate that man. Thanks for making me polite and ttrusting everyone, and easy to take advantage of. So I spent 3 months on that one song , just tweakin' on it, and it was totally just my Mr. Rogers obsession, and how evil I thought he was. Pretty much drug induced"
"People think it's sexist but it isn't. It's more subconcuios bitching at all the women who've neen woth me in my life. It's not about women in general, just those women who hurt me. Initially, we wrote it ti send to American radio for a joke, because they always chop up all the other songs. So we were going to send a 'real' single seven days later"
A cover from ice Cubes album "Predator", Chino Moreno , the lead singer from Deftones, covers vocals.
"That was the last song I wrote, and i was so burned out writing lyrics because everytime I write I get depressed because I start thinking about things, you know? So the whole song song is about that. In the churos ot says, 'Before day, my sun will be dyin.' Its because I put myself on the line all the time for what? Because people arent going to be listening to it anyway"
"It's about a relative I first met when I was 12. I fucking hate that bitch. She's the most evil, fucked up person I've met in my whole life. She hated my guts. She did everything she could to make my life hell. Like, when I was sick she's feed me tea with Tabasco, which is really hot pepper oil. She's make me drink it by saying, 'You have to burn that cold out , boy.' Fucked up shit like that. So every night when I'd go to sleep , I'd dream of killing that bitch. In some sick way I had a sexual fantasy about her, and I dont know what that stems from or why, but i always dreamt about fucking her and killing her."
" ' It's On!' is my shit peer pressure song. Me being so stressed out and partying. Everybodys just going ' Come on dude, it's on.' Thats partying, it's alcohol, cocaine, women. All that wrapped into one. I wrote a song about it. And the chorus I talked about Why am i really doing this? It's all my fault that I'm doing this because all the alcohol, the booze an the chicks do is just make it worse. They just rearrange all the problems in a different order that I can deal with at that the moment.
Freak on a Leash
"One of the best titles I've heard ever for a song. That's my song against against the music industry. Like me feeling like I'm fuckin' a pimp, a prostitute. Like I'm paraded around. I'm this freak paraded around but I got corporate America fuckin' making all the money while it's taking a part of me. It's like they stole something from me , they stole my innocence and Im not calm anymore. I worry constantly."
Got the Life
"That's a song baggin' on myself. How everything's alway handed to me. How I look up to god and dont want this anymore. Like I want something more out of life than all this. And I've got everything I really need but I somettimes dont like. I dont know how to explain it. I have to let it sit through the songs more to actualy get into what I write. I truly know, really, the meanings of the songs almost. Thats what I'm getting out of it right now."
Dead Bodies Everywhere
"That was the song about my parents tryinng to keep me out of the music buisness. My father was in it and he knew how it was and I totally understand now that I have a son. I want Nathan to be a musician but I don't want him to go through the hell I went through. Thats the same thing in my Dad was doing. A lot of people can relate to it, beacause its like the Dad's wanting their sons to be football players and their sons want to be doctors or something. That peer pressure is like trying to make them something they're really not. And the Dead Bodies thing is like so I did it and all I got out of it was dead bodies everywhere and I got traumatized. Thanks a lot Dad, Mom."
Children of the KoRn
"That's the song that Ice Cube is on, Cube came up with the title. I fed off of what he wrote, he was talking about growing up and puberty. Dictating what he can do, like how you gonna tell me how to live and who to fuck? And all this stuff. And i took that and in my stuff I was talking about being a kid always known as the fuckin' town faggot. It's funny how things change. That some of these people picked on me and all of a sudden look who's laughing now. Also in another verse I talked about all these parents fucking hating me for what I do, saying I'm corrupting their children, but in turn these parents need tto step outside of themselves and really listen to what im talking about. Then I think they can understand that they were kids before. They're just really quick to judge me. All the Children Of The Korn are all our Korn fans. All those kids going throught that shit and feeling what I feel."
"Big black cock! That's what I call a jack and a coke. Those little glasses they serve in Europe and everything. That's what I named it big black cock. And thats another song about me dealing with the pressures of this album and how I, you know , I'm trying to kill myself, but you know? Do I really want to kill myself? Things Im questioning myself. Most of this is self-structured."
"It's a story about this little girl that came into a coroners office when I was working there and she was fucked by her dad. She was an 11 months old little baby girl. Her legs were broken behind her and he just fucked her like a toy doll and chucked her in the bathroom. It was the most heinous thing I've ever seen in my life and I still have nightmares about it"
All In the Family
"Fred was there after Korn TV and we said, ' Lets do a song together, Hey man, let's go back and forth and rip on each other like an old school battle.' I dont know whos idea it was, I cant rember if it was mine or Feildy's or Fred's but we came up with the idea and started writing and we worked on it together. I came up with some bags on myself for Fred to say. It was all in good natured fun"
Reclaim My Place
"This one is about the whole band and about all my life being called a homosexual. And then I become this big rock star in a band and im still called a fag even by my own band. So its like I was fuckin' pissed off at them. Irs like erase them all because I'm gonna reclaim my place and say hey, they owe me alot to me for what i did, and I owe them alot back. But it still kinda sucks. I've never ever gotten away from that fag fuckin' title. Just because I'm a sensitive guy. Kinda feminine it really sucks."
"Justin, that was the kid dying from intestinal cancer. His last dying wish was to meet us and it really freaked me out. That threw a whole bunch of new kind of pressures on my head. That's really intense. Someones gonna die and his last thing he wants to do is come and hang out with us. So I truly freaked out. It's like why would you want to meet me? What makes me so special? And in turn I talk about how i admire his strength and his life. I couldnt stare at him because he was so content he was gonna die. No one could look him in the eyes. And i tottally admire his strength. I wish I had it.
"Seed. Thats all about the same thing again. I , laying in bed in my hotel room, thinking do I really need all this stuff? All this pressure on me? Because I'm a stressed out freak. It's all about Nathan, its about everytime I look into his eyes i see myself how I used to be, innocent and stress free. I'm kind of jealous of it. It really sucks, I used to be that way. It;s like I have to work so hard at this thing in my life. I have to become a stressed out freak. I put food on the table for my child. Everytime I look into his eyes, I just see myself staring right back at my ass laughing. I was like care free, innocent as a child. It's really wierd and I'm really jealous of it"
"Thats a love song. It's about women in general , womn who hurt me. It's Tre's Lyrics. He's going on about chicks and my chorus is like im so scared to love anyone and really let them in after I got hurt really really bad by a girl. Ive let Renee in a little bit, to be honest, but ill never be in that in love ever again. Thats what I'm saying, if youve loved twice, youre gonna get fucked, 'cause you usually do"
My Gift to You
"Renee always wanted me to write her a love song and that why I called it My Gift To You. It's my gift to her, you know how i get sick. I always had a fantasy about fucking her and choking her to death. I fantasize about what it would look like , me in her body and watching me do it. SO its like a really sick fucked up song. I did it totally like, I love her so much, I want to take her out of this world. It's really strange. She used to leave notes on my pillow like 25 ways shed like to kill me. She's got this weird death fetish. We're kinda fuckin' freaky. She got it. Shes all 'Thank you thats kinda fucked up. I was expecting a fuckin' I love you baby kinda song." I'm all, ' No, you know me. ' i mean I cant do that."
"All I want in life is to be happy", it's that simple. People say that it's become their own anthem. It's like whenever I start to feel good, something comes and takes it away and I feel like I'm nothing again, like I'm dead. - Jonathan Davis
Falling Away From Me
The song is about domestic abuse and that there ways to get help whether it's telling someone or calling a help line, there are ways to get out of those situations. Noone has to be treated like that. - Jonathan Davis
"Trash" is about how I threw my world and everything out. I threw her away. I threw my old self away. It basically comes back down to the sex thing. The battles I did on the road, this whole album is what I went through because I was on the road and I went crazy. - Jonathan Davis
Make Me Bad
"I need to feel the sickness in you" ... It's spawned from fuckin', basically, from having sex. That's where that line comes from, but it means a whole bunch of things to me. "Make Me Bad" was about the battles I had being on the road, being married and being with other women. I'm not married anymore... beause of my lifestlyle, and I just couldnt do that to my wife anymore. So that ended. But does it make me bad that I have a dick and I have fucken other feelings to be with other people? Why should I be with just one? It seems like human beings are genetically engineered to procreate. Thats what we do, fuck everything, and that's what our natural insides want to do. It is hard to find someone like that. But she was a good woman and I didnt want to keep on... I did the right thing, I was a man about it. It was better for me to tell her and let her go on with her life and find someone who could help her and be like that. So that song was spawned by that, does it make me bad to want to be with other women? In a sence it was my only drug, why... because I dont drink anymore, I cant drink. I've been sober for a year. I dont have any other vices. So at least doing that could be something... - Jonathan Davis
Beg For Me
"Beg For Me" is more of an angry thing because the whole thing for "Beg For Me" is the crowd. The only time I was good on tour was when I walked up onstage and that's what the song is about. Feeling wanted is something one thing I've always needed. I was shuffled around so much when I was a kid...Being up onstage was the only point was the only time when my anxiety would go away for an hour. - Jonathan Davis
"Hey Daddy" where I was schizophrenic and there were these voices telling me to do shit... To kill myself, basically. Daddy is one of my nicknames, so its like I'm talking to myself the whole time. It's hard to explain. - Jonathan Davis