2-1-04
“Faith is simply trusting in God
when life gives you reason not to.”
Dear Family and Friends,
Just a quick report on Tim. No real changes, but a bad bug was discovered in his
urine and he had to be put on IV antibiotics for two weeks (pseudomonas
aeruginosa).
On Monday, Becky and I pushed Tim to the medical office building next door for
his appointment with the ENT doctor. We had to borrow a wheelchair because Tim’s
is still on order - it wasn’t a great fit (Tim is so tall), but the nurses got
Tim situated as comfortably as possible. It was a beautiful day, but a bit
chilly, so we bundled Tim up with blankets, stuck a stocking cap on his head,
put some sunglasses on him and started rolling him down the hall. We got to the
outer door, and one of Tim’s former nurses inquired how he was doing and where
we were going with him. We told her that we were busting Tim out. The walk to
the doctor only took about 3 minutes.
The ENT said that Tim would require surgery to completely close the trach hole.
He explained the procedure. I told him that Tim had suffered enough already and
that I didn’t want to subject him to any surgery that could be avoided. He said
that the small opening wasn’t harming him at all - that he was breathing just
fine, and that we could leave everything as is. He also said that the hole may
still close on its own over time. What a relief. We made a follow up appt. for
March. By the time we got Tim “home”, he was pretty tired. I don’t know if he
was aware that he was outside or somewhere different. All I know is that
everything is pretty hard on him.
The doctor looked at Tim’s edema and cut some of his fluid intake. We’ll see if
that makes a difference. I thought the edema was spreading to Tim’s upper body
(waist and lat area), but none of the staff seems to think it is edema. They
think that he is gaining weight. It just seemed to me that one day he was very
skinny and the next day he looked a lot bigger. I don’t know, but I don’t think
you can gain fat that fast.
Oh…I am in the process of buying a house. It is finally time, for several
reasons that I won’t go into. But, I made an offer and it has been accepted.
Hopefully, we’ll close next month. I had asked the owner of the house that we
are leasing if she would consider selling it, but she wouldn’t. Our house is in
the same subdivision and it backs up to the lake, just like where we live now.
It is a bit more spacious, and there is a room that could be used for Tim and
his equipment - if he is able to come home. My dad counseled me quite a bit, as
well as some friends. The evening that I made the offer, I didn’t sleep at all.
I tossed and turned all night wondering what Tim would have done, thought, etc.
I’m still second guessing myself, but doing the best that I can. It’s like Becky
said the other night, “Mom, it’s not like there’s a handbook for you to follow.”
So, I’m just winging it as I go. Every once in a while, I turn to the kids and
say, “Hey, we’re doing okay, aren’t we? The family hasn’t fallen apart (it has
just been maimed) - wouldn’t your dad be proud of us?” I think he would be
amazed…
Love,
Carole and Kids