10-18-03
Dear Family and Friends,
The bad news is that there hasn’t been anything new to report on Tim . His progress has plateaued lately.
The good news is that God is still in control, His promise in Romans 8:28 is still in effect, and His grace is still sufficient for whatever we are facing. Best of all, we still have eternal life.
Please stop thinking I’m some sort of super saint who never feels discouraged. Let me tell you that I write these things to remind myself of the truth. I daily, even minute by minute, make the choice to believe what God says in His word about Himself, or I succumb to worry, fear, and my unpredictable feelings.
I’d been a bit frustrated lately trying to keep informed about Tim’s many health issues. For example, he had stitches in his head that needed to be removed and a cast that was due to come off. Trying to find out who was responsible for following through on these things was a bit aggravating. Part of the problem was that many of these health issues were addressed by specialists while Tim was in ICU at St. Joe’s . Now that he is in Select Specialty Hospital (a hospital within St. Joe’s), it has become difficult to get these specialists to come down and finish what they started.
I guess I was enough of a squeaky wheel, though, because the stitches were removed this week. The neurosurgeon who put in Tim’s shunt never got around to writing the order to remove the stitiches, so Tim’s attending physician finally got tired of waiting and wrote the order himself.
You’ll laugh at this next one. I started asking (again) about the cast on Tim’s leg and was told Thursday that the doctor who put the cast on wanted Tim to come to his office to have it removed. I asked, “Oh, he has an office in the hospital?” and was told, “No, his office is downtown.” I almost lost it. I stated pretty emphatically that my husband was not to be removed from the premises. (Even my 11 year old son thought something was wrong with this picture)
I spoke with the case manager about this issue and several others, and by the next day, they were resolved. I was also able to meet with the acute neuro rehab doctor the same day (Friday). I asked her about Tim’s progress, and whether or not she was planning to increase the medication she was using to try to stimulate Tim out of the coma. She said the she had ordered an increase the day before and would eventually add a 3rd drug to the cocktail next week. So, we will see what happens.
I had noticed that Tim had more of a pain response the day before and wondered if it could be attributed to the drug increase. But, I think I’ll have to wait and see because Tim was started on percocet and morphine (Friday) because of a problem with his catheter. Evidently, the foley was being changed, and in doing so, his bladder received some trauma. Tim was obviously in pain, so they gave him meds to relax him. I know he needs the pain meds right now, but I can’t wait to see how Tim will react once the morphine has cleared out of his system.
The neuro doctor said that Tim was considered a level 2 on the Rancho Coma Scale. She wants him to make it to a level 3, if possible – and soon, too. There is a big difference between a 2 and a 3, and the longer someone stays at a level 2, the more likely they will remain there.
I do get discouraged sometimes – but I realize that my problem is that I forget that my life is not my own. I forget that my life belongs to God. He’s bought and paid for me with His precious Son’s blood. So often, we’re willing to just settle for the American Dream. We make plans for a nice, comfy life – nice house, spouse, kids, car, pocketbook, health. To be quite honest, I would love my comfortable life back. I’m not having much fun lately. But, I know that God has plans for my life, too. His plans are better than my plans. While He didn’t cause this to happen to my family, He permitted it and we have His unbreakable word that He will use it to accomplish His good, loving, and perfect purpose in our lives. I can’t express it very well, but I read something in my quiet time the other day that expresses it very well:
“And David said in his heart, I shall now perish one day by the hand of Saul.”
1 Sam. 27:1
The thought of David’s heart at this time was a false thought, because he certainly had no ground for thinking that God’s anointing him by Samuel was intended to be left as an empty unmeaning act. On no one occasion had the Lord deserted His servant; he had been placed in perilous positions very often, but not one instance had occurred in which divine interposition had not delivered him. The trials to which he had been exposed had been varied ; they had not assumed one form only, but many – yet in every case He who sent the trial had also graciously ordained a way of escape. David could not put his finger upon any entry in his diary, and say of it, “Here is evidence that the Lord will forsake me,” for the entire tenor of his past life proved the very reverse. He should have argued from what God had done for him, that God would be his defender still. But is it not just in the same way that we doubt God’s help? Is it not mistrust without a cause? Have we ever had the shadow of a reason to doubt our Father’s goodness? Have not His lovingkindnesses been marvelous? Has He once failed to justify our trust? Ah, no! our God has not left us at any time. We have had dark nights, but the star of love shone forth amid the blackness; we have been in stern conflicts, but over our head He has held aloft the shield of our defense. We have gone through many trials, but never to our detriment, always to our advantage; and the conclusion from our past experience is, that He who has been with us in six troubles, will not forsake us in the seventh. What we have known of our faithful God, proves that He will keep us to the end. Let us not, then, reason contrary to evidence. How can we ever be so ungenerous as to doubt our God? Lord, throw down the Jezebel of our unbelief, and let the dogs devour it. -- Charles Spurgeon
Peace,
Carole and the kids
New home phone: (623) 478-8421