Sex Quotes
"Remember, if you smoke after sex your doing it too fast!"
-Anon
"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right."
-Woody Allen
"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?"
-Bette Midler
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation...
The other eight are unimportant."
-Henry Miller
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal , particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
-P. J. O'Rourke
"Fifty percent of the women in this country are not having orgasms. If that were true of the male population, it would be declared a national emergency."
-Margo St. James
"Condoms should be marketed in three sizes; jumbo, colossal and super-colossal so that men do not have to go in and ask for the small"
-Barbara Seaman
"Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven."
-Mark Twain
"As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax...you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients," but another kept reminding me, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
-Dick Wilson
Sex One-Liners
"Don't worry. I've had a vasectomy/hysterectomy."
"I won't come in your mouth, I promise."
"I'm not really married."
"It's only a cold sore."
"Looks aren't important to me. I like you for your personality."
"Size isn't important."
"This won't hurt, I promise."
"We don't have to go all the way, we'll just lie here and hold each other."
A woman never forgets the men she could of had; a man, the women he couldn't.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss alot of frogs.
If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
Never say no.
Sex has no calories.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.