These are my entries for the Rotten Weevil Challenge; to write an opening sentence of any lenght consisting of what can only be described as bad Hornblower Fan Fic.
The End
By JJ
As the blood slowly drained from his chubby and cherubic cheeks set in such an innocent yet subtley
seductive face, leaving it looking pallid and haggard and indeed almost death-like due to the much regretted not to mention damned inconvenient condition that he knew he would be incapable of hiding from discovery for very much longer, Archie Kennedy marshalled his much trampled courage, put on his bravest face and smiled pitifully into the well loved brown orbs of his brother Officer, particular friend and long time lover, before whispering the fatalistic words, "Horatio, I regret to inform you, I'm pregnant."
Fork
By JJ
Captain Pellew raised his eyebrows and stared across the dining table to where Lieutenant Hornblower stood, breeches at half mast, proudly displaying a rampant cock that bobbed it's red and weeping head back and forth like a poppy, before saying, "I'm sorry Mr Hornblower but I think you misheard me when I said I needed a fork."