Warning: Rated [MA] Mature Adults only. Contains strong m/m sexual scenes, violence, coarse language and adult themes.
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Sharpe/Lawford
Didgeridoo
Sharpe walked toward Lawford, the large didgeridoo gripped tightly in his hand like a sword. "Do yer know what this is for William?" Sharpe asked, his voice edged with passion.
"Oh Richard, I can't imagine," replied Lawford, nearly swooning. He reached out to caress the hard wood with his delicate fingers. "Whatever you do Richard," he breathed softly, "Just be gentle with me!"
Sharpe licked his lips and placed the long hard instument against them. He blew and the rigid wood thrumbed with vibrations. Lawford moaned "Oh Richard I had no idea you were so good at this." His soft hands moved up and down the hard length in time with the sounds that Sharpe coaxed from the Didgeridoo. "I can feel it right through me Richard," he gasped as he watched Sharpe take a deep breath and replace his lips. "So deep, so stiring. May I have a go?"
"Bloody impatient." muttered Sharpe as he took another breath before exhaling, this time clicking his tongue to make interesting quivers in the music.
"Oh Richard, please, let me try. please!"
"Here Sir! Are yer all right in there? I thought I heard someone groaning?" Harper's voice sounded just outside the tent.
"What the bloody hell's wrong Harper?" asked Sharpe as he pulled the tent flap back sharpely.
Harper peered inside into the gloom but could see nothing except Colonel Lawford sitting on Sharpe's stretcher, smiling.
"I thought someone was having difficulty Sir, but I must have been mistaken." said Harper blushing.
"I was showing Colonel Lawford how to play the didgeridoo." replied Sharpe
"The WHAT sir?" asked Harper, horrified
"The Didgeridoo. It's a long thing that you blow. They have them in the Colonies. If we are ever transfered to New South Wales we might need to know what to do with one. They are very popular there I've been told." said Sharpe, thoughtfully.
"Oh I'm sure they are sir, and I'm sure Mr Lawford will enjoy it!"
The End
And here's the sequel, even more corny than the last!
Nulla-Nulla
"Oh Richard! What ever is THAT" asked William Lawford, his eyes big as saucers. "It's me Nulla-Nulla." said Sharpe taking the large object in his hand and raising it to let Lawford get a better look. "It's so big, so hard, may I touch it?" Sharpe grunted his agreement "Whatever yer like Sir!"
Lawford fingers trailed up the hard rigid length until they reached the enlarged top. He gasped as he reached the end. "What ever do you use it for Richard?" he asked looking pale.
Sharpe frowned, surely it was obvious! "Yer bang things with it Sir. Yer use it for Banging!"
Lawford fainted!
Sharpe shook his head and called Harper. The Irishman sighed as he looked at the collapsed Colonel "If he faints at the sight of yer Nulla-Nulla Sir, then yer'd better not show him that Woomera that you keep in yer Humpy. I don't think he's ready for it!"
The End