by Jonathan Riley
Part the First
"Are you acquainted with the apes of Gibraltar, Mr Hornblower?"
Horatio gave a guilty start and dragged his eyes from the aquamarine water where Archie Kennedy was swimming, clad in nothing but his drawers and a smile.
"Apes Sir?" He had not heard the Captain approach and wandered if his not so innocent thoughts were written all over his face. Captain Pellew's attention, however, was elsewhere as he stared towards the shoreline, telescope raised to his eye.
"Yes, Mr Hornblower, those rather attractive creatures that inhabit this rock." Pellew offered the telescope to Horatio and indicted towards the land.
Horatio placed it against his eye and attempted to follow the Captain's finger, but somehow he found himself looking once more at Archie's wet drawers, almost transparent now and leaving little to the imagination. The view was even better through the telescope.
"Ahhhm, well...not intimately, Sir," Horatio replied wistfully. "Although I have observed them on numerous occasions."
"They are rather fetching, don't you agree, Mr Hornblower?" Pellew continued, oblivious to Horatio's distraction. "I find then quite fascinating."
Horatio's thoughts were elsewhere. "Oh yes, very, Sir." With the aid of the telescope he let his gaze travel up to Archie broad chest, where droplets of water streamed away as he bobbed in the gently undulating waves. "I'd like the chance to find out a little more about them."
"Did you know they make rather fine companions?" Pellew held out his hand and Horatio reluctantly gave the glass back to his Captain.
"I imagine they would sir." Horatio sighed, his thoughts still with Archie. Unfortunately, imagining was a far as it would ever go. Despite his attraction to Archie Kennedy, his sense of morality and social correctness prevented anything other than friendship between them.
Pellew took another look towards the shore and lowered his voice. "And did you know, Mr Hornblower, that there are other reason's why they are prized so, although one seldom mentions them in polite society."
Horatio snapped to attention and he turned towards his Captain. "Really Sir?" Had he heard correctly? "The APES, Sir?"
"Yes," Pellew continued. "I can well understand your surprise, Mr Hornblower, for I would not have believed it myself had I not been present at a gathering a few years ago and heard Sir Joseph Banks speak of their...versatility."
Horatio blinked and closed his mouth, which had somehow fallen open. Surely the Captain was not implying that one could...fornicate with monkeys?
"He wrote a paper on the various was to enjoy them. Of course a thing like that could never be published, but to hear him speak was enough to awaken the appetite of even the most conservative listener."
Horatio tried to reply, but the only sound he seemed capable of making was a squeak. He fluttered his eyes and swallowed.
Pellew frowned. "I can see I have shocked you Mr Hornblower but I urge you to keep an open mind. You are still young and you hold so many lofty ideals. But when you reach my age you will see that life is meant to be experienced and one must never pass up the opportunity to further ones horizons no matter how strange a thing may sound or how far one may have to stray from the known path."
"I'll bear that in mind Sir." Horatio stuttered, his thoughts turning back to Archie. After all, if Captain Pellew thought nothing of intercourse with apes, then what he'd thought of doing with Archie suddenly seemed rather harmless.
"I trust however that I may be assured of your confidence in this matter, Mr Hornblower. There are many who would not understand the...adventurous nature that spurs me to try such things."
"Oh yes, Captain." Horatio replied fervently. "I won't breathe a word of it to a soul."
Part the Second
"And then Captain Pellew said that he had arranged to have one of the apes prepared and brought to his cabin tonight and he invited me to attend and broaden my horizons by sampling it with him!"
"Dear God, Horatio! Are you quite sure?" Archie Kennedy paused in the act of drying himself with a blanket and stared at Horatio, blue eyes blinking in shock.
Horatio nodded, his eyes taking a few moments to slip over Archie's bare flesh. But he tore them away, feeling guilty. Now was not the time to indulge his own desires if he was to save his beloved Captain from infamy. "Yes Archie, and I am as shocked as you. Whatever could have caused the Captain to contemplate fornicating with monkeys? We must DO something!" Captain Pellew was the too great a man to be brought low by his lust.
Archie clicked his tongue. "They are apes, Horatio, not monkeys. It's something to do with their tails."
Horatio raised his eyebrows.
"So I have heard," Archie added hastily. "And as to what has caused our Captain this flight of fancy, well, the answer is simple."
"It is?" Horatio held his breath.
"Sex, Horatio. Or to be more precise, the lack thereof. Our Captain isn't getting any!"
"OH!" Horatio swallowed. Sex wasn't something he discussed everyday with Archie. It made him feel a little...warm. "Well is there some way we can...er that is...other than the monkey, of course. A woman, or a whore...or...such?"
Archie Kennedy tried to hide his grin. "How noble of you Horatio, to care so about Captain Pellew's state of frustration. But I doubt he would agree to such measures. The Captain is married with a family and he never consorts with loose women. He may fear catching the pox."
Horatio looked crestfallen. "There must be something we can do for him Archie? We can't let him become a monkey lover."
Archie frowned and hitched up his wet drawers that had dropped dangerously low on his hips. "Well there is one thing we might try, Horatio, but it would mean a great sacrifice."
"What Archie?" Captain Pellew was worth any sacrifice and Horatio was prepared to do much to save his hero and mentor.
"You could offer yourself to him as a means of relieving his...frustrations."
"ME?" Horatio squeaked. Archie's steady smile never wavered. "Surely he would never consider such a thing with ... me?"
"Oh I think he would Horatio. But if you find the though distasteful..."
Distasteful...no, he didn't find it distasteful, in fact he suddenly found the thought quite...exciting.
"It's not that, but rather that I would not know what to do, Archie. I would be a sorry disappointment to him."
Archie's smile widened and he took Horatio's arm. "Then put your fears to rest Horatio for I will show you everything you need to know."
Horatio returned the smile shyly. "You'd do that for me Archie? For me and the Captain?"
"It will be my pleasure, Horatio."
Part the Third
"Come."
Horatio entered the captain's cabin and waited, wondering if he was still blushing from his earlier encounter with Archie Kennedy. He hoped he could remember everything. Archie really was a very good teacher and had insisted he master several techniques by repeated practice. If only all his lessons were as enjoyable.
"Ah Mr Hornblower, I am so glad you decided to take up my offer. I know you won't regret this and it will be a night to remember for years to come. The ape will be here any moment. Smith, my cabin servant is just arranging it."
Horatio blurted out, "Captain, you don't need the ape! Have me instead."
Pellew blinked and laughed. "YOU Mr Hornblower? Whatever are you talking about?"
"This Sir," Horatio replied falling to his knees in front of his Captain, his long nimble fingers seeking the buttons on Pellew's breeches.
"Mr Hornblower?"
"Mr Hornblower!"
"MR HORNBLOWER!"
Afterwards as they lay sated in Pellew's great hanging bed that was so much more comfortable than the hammock Horatio was used to, Pellew said, "I'll get the ape now shall I?"
Horatio groaned. "But surely, Sir, you can not still want the creature after what we just did?" Had all his hard work been for nothing?
"Why, I want it even more now," Pellew said with a grin. "I have worked up quite an appetite. Just wait there and I will bring it in."
And he did.
Part the Fouth
"And its eyes just stared up at me the whole time, Archie. It was unnerving to say the least."
Archie grimaced and shook his head. "You should have refused Horatio. You should have told him it was not to your taste."
"How could I. He'd gone to so much trouble. The liver wasn't too bad...it was saut�ed in butter with some herbs or other. But that brains, served in its head...I will have bad dreams about that for weeks." Horatio settled his head on Archie's chest trying to block out the vision of the ape's eyes. "Who'd have thought he wanted to EAT the thing!"
"It does sound peculiar but at least it all turned out for the best."
Horatio smiled. Perhaps Archie was right. It had turned out for the best. Not only had he discover a whole new way to spend off duty hours with Archie but he had also found out what an exceptional man Captain Pellew REALLY was. And he had been promised more invitations to dinner in the captain's cabin in the very near future.
But a new problem intruded. "There is one thing though Archie, that I am a little worried about."
"Oh and what's that Horatio?"
"Well I chanced to come across that new midshipman, Mr Wellard, down in the manger with Styles earlier. They were feeding the animal and I overheard Wellard saying that he was terribly fond of Dorset sheep! He was stoking the ewe and fondling it in a most unbecoming manner!" Horatio raised his head and looked at Archie, his dark lashes fluttering. "Do you think I should do something about it Archie? After all we can't have midshipmen poking sheep, now can we?"
Archie sighed, his face serious. "Horatio, your work is done. You have performed above and beyond the call of duty already. Don't worry yourself about young Mr Wellard." Archie lay back, closed his blue eyes and smiled. "Leave that one to me."
The End.