Parenting Toddlers

Simple and Survivable
Toddler Birthday Parties

SCALE EVERYTHING TO YOUR CHILD'S SIZE AND AGE
by Peggy Middendorf

Parties filled with hordes of toddlers are the makings of a parental nightmare. However, with a little planning and common sense, a birthday party for a toddler can be a memorable experience for your child and a survivable event for you.

Toddlers love being the center of attention. This is great for the birthday child, but unfortunately, all the guests are toddlers, too. Toddlers don't like to share or play together, they are vocal about their opinions and will most likely want to take home the present they brought.

So the golden rules for toddler parties are:

1. Keep it short. An hour is a long time for toddlers.

2. Keep it small. Two or three guests are enough.

3. Scale everything to your child's size and age. Make sure games are age appropriate, plan the party for non-nap times such as morning or lunchtime, and use small plates and small portions.

4. Keep it simple. Offer a little cake, a couple of games and a storytime.

Toddlers have definite ideas about what they like and don't like. So plan a party theme around a favorite cartoon character, play activity or toy. For little girls who like to dress up and play Mommy, for example, a tea party with special dolls or a teddy bear tea with favorite stuffed animals is ideal. Before the party, go to a secondhand clothing store and pick out several fancy dresses, hats, purses and necklaces. When the children arrive, let them change and exchange clothes. Have chairs for the dolls at the table and serve "tea" (apple juice), finger sandwiches and cookies.

For kids enamored with trucks and cars, the party activity can focus on creating vehicles using markers and large cardboard boxes. Each child can take a turn being "on stage" to explain how his car "goes." In another end of the room, set up a long strip of cardboard "road." Have one child at a time hold a magnet under the cardboard and "drive" a small metal car on top.

Design invitations to match the party theme. Be sure to include the party time and length, what will be served (a meal or cake and ice cream), and whether a guest's parent must stay (definitely a good idea).

The one part of a toddler party that cannot be overdone is the decorating. Be overly generous with the colorful crepe paper, balloons, ribbons and streamers.

Start the game or activity as soon as all the guests have arrived and they're still on their best behavior. Children this age love to search for things, so a treasure or scavenger hunt is a perfect activity. Use the backyard (if weather permits) or the basement, and give each child a picture list of items to find. (Cut pictures from magazines of familiar items such as combs, dolls, canned food, etc.) If prizes are awarded, make sure everyone wins. Another treasure-hunt option is to wrap small, inexpensive party favors in a variety of colored papers. Give each child a piece of the colored paper he's looking for; that way, there can be no complaints about who got the most prizes.

Eating is the other major activity at a toddler party. While the guests are waiting to be served, have crayons available and encourage them to draw on the plain paper tablecloth. Remember, toddlers have small appetites. Individual cupcakes (with a single candle in the middle) and one-scoop servings of ice cream are great for this age. If you do intend to serve a meal, keep it simple. Peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, a few grapes and chips will be plenty.

One of the few things most toddlers enjoy doing together is singing. Get a record of children's songs from the library, and you can end the party on a happy note.

Save the party favors to distribute as the children leave. This way they won't get lost, broken or argued over.


MORE FUN, FEWER HEADACHES
by Barbara F. Backer

Children's birthday parties can be fun for everyone involved, even the parents. Just remember to keep parties simple. Match the guest list to the age of the child�four children for a four-year-old's party. Anything larger may be too stimulating for the child and the guests.

TODDLER PARTIES
Don't worry about a special theme and activities for children two and under. Gather a very few friends or relatives and sing "Happy Birthday."

Let the birthday child open presents and the young guests open the favors they'll take home. Serve cupcakes and juice to all, and then send everyone home. Tell your guests in advance that the party will last for a short amount of time so they won't be surprised or offended when you offer them their hats.

BUILD A PRESCHOOL PARTY
Children three through five enjoy a party with a theme. A construction party is a great choice for this age. Put out lots of DUPLO and other safe building toys for the guests to play with when they first arrive. Take instant photos of their creations for them to take home, and give each a small box of DUPLO as a party favor. A tablecloth and napkins in primary colors is a good choice for this theme.

For the cake, place a few miniature cupcakes atop a sheet cake and frost all together with yellow icing. Or put miniature marshmallows atop small cake squares. The finished products will look like pieces of DUPLO.

PET SHOW
Threes, fours and fives also enjoy a pet show party. Have each child bring a favorite stuffed animal. Play music while children "show" and tell about their stuffed pets. Present prize certificates to the largest, smallest, funniest or oldest pet. Dream up other categories so that every child takes home an award. Prepare some blank certificates, too, because guests' animals may inspire categories you haven't thought of.

Instant photos of each child and pet, and a box of animal crackers are welcome party favors. Put animal crackers on any plain cake and you'll have the perfect dessert for this party.

TEA PARTY
Young girls enjoy a baby doll tea. Have each child bring a baby doll to the party. Set the table with plastic cups and saucers and cake plates (available at party stores). Serve finger foods and fruit juice. The party-goers bring their babies to the table and enjoy the refreshments while engaging in motherly conversation.

FASHION SHOW
Older girls, ages six through eight, enjoy dressing in outfits to match their "teen" dolls. Have them bring their dressed-alike dolls to the party. Play music while the girls and their dolls walk down an imaginary runway modeling their outfits. Award prize certificates to all�a large certificate to the child, a smaller, matching certificate to her doll.

Categories might include most colorful outfit, funniest, most sophisticated, most unusual, most trendy and other categories. Have a few blank certificates on hand to fill in with appropriate categories inspired by the guests' outfits.

CELEBRATE BACKWARDS
School-age boys and girls enjoy a backwards party. Children wear their clothing backwards, say "good-bye" when they arrive and "hello" as they leave. The party runs backwards with the birthday honoree opening gifts. Next, the refreshments are served. These might be cupcakes iced on the bottom or upside-down ice cream cones. Or, write "Happy Birthday" backwards on a traditional birthday cake.

Next are the party games. Children can run relay races backwards, play "Take the Tail Off the Donkey," or throw a rolled up sock at a target, while standing with their backs to the target. Losers get the prizes.

If you are able to "mirror write" send invitations that are written backwards. For lots of giggles, use birthday candles that re-light themselves when the child blows them out.

GET CREATIVE
Kids love to create things. Have an "Artist's Party" and provide lots of scrap materials, scissors and glue. Give the children plenty of time to explore, and let them take home their creations. Now, provide each with a plain cupcake, and put out small bowls of icing. Let children decorate their own cupcakes with icing, tiny marshmallows, chocolate chips, coconut and small candies.

BE FLEXIBLE
A simple, well-planned party should run smoothly, but be prepared to be flexible. Some children don't fit easily into planned routines.

If your child seems reluctant to have a party, this isn't unusual. Never force a party on an unwilling youngster. Wait another year then ask again.

Let children five and over take part in party decisions, but don't let their ideas lead you to an elaborate affair. Plan a simple party with children's interests in mind and you'll have a party that will always be remembered.

Barbara F. Backer is a freelance writer, mother and grandmother with 18 years of experience with preschoolers.


BIRTHDAY PARTY IDEAS FROM FAMILYFUN
by Jodi Picoult

At the center of every truly memorable birthday party, there's a showstopper�a game or cake or surprise that partygoers are still talking about days later: "We smashed open a dragon pi�ata with a plastic sword..." "They had a volcano cake that billowed real smoke..." "We got to wear silver nail polish and tiaras..." Usually, the big hit is not the most costly or elaborate element of the party; rather, it's that one special thing that really taps into what your child and her friends think is wildly, outrageously fun.

This is good news, we think, for party planners. It means that as long as you've got that one ace in the hole�forgive us, Martha Stewart�you can sweat some of the other details a little less (say, running all over town to find the perfect matching ballerina napkins).

So this year, we here at FAMILYFUN have collected some of our readers' surefire party hits. Each one comes wrapped in a theme, from firefighters to ladybugs to LEGOs, and is accompanied by a bunch of suggestions for food, games, decorations and party favors. In the process of putting it all together, you'll see, we got a little caught up in the party spirit ourselves, adding an inventive cake here, a favorite game there, and even a few tips on the sticky subject of birthday etiquette.

In short, we did exactly what we expect you'll do: Use the parts of these parties that you like best, then add your own embellishments along the way to create a bash that's just right for your birthday boy or girl. Our hope is that with this package of birthday tricks up your sleeve, the rest of your party planning will really be a piece of cake.

Jodi Picoult is a frequent contributor to FAMILYFUN.>Cynthia Caldwell, another regular contributor to the magazine, developed these birthday party cakes with the help of her kids.