Prisoners

SG-1 Funnies

Jack and the team are thrown from the Stargate into a prison
Jack: (Stands up) Well, this sucks.

Jack: Teal'c, look scary and take point.

Daniel: When the British first colonized Australia they turned it into a continental prison.
It was half a world away. Of course, this is probably more than that.
(He starts gesturing to show how far and becomes overwhelmed)
Jack: It's ok, Daniel. It's ok.

Prisoner: You are very strong, yes?
Teal'c: I am.
Prisoner: Maybe you challenge Vishnoor. Maybe you win. Maybe...I be your friend.
Teal'c: Maybe not.
(Sam scrunches her nose as the man leaves; Jack rolls his eyes)
Jack: Okaaay.

Jack comes up to Teal'c as he lets go of a man he is choking
Jack: Well, Teal'c. Making friends are you?

Daniel: I mean, we don't even know what she's in here for.
Sam: What are we in here for?
Jack: Jaywalking, I think.

Jack: I'm just going to assume you've never been in prison before.
Daniel: Oh, right and you have?
Jack: (Gives him a look) Oh, yeah.

Hammond: You're sure they dialed the correct address?
Major Kovacek: Yes, sir.
Hammond: The things I do for these people. (Steps through the gate)

Hammond: I am responsible for those people you have in prison.
Major Kovacek: By using the word 'responsible', the General is in no way
assuming accountability for the actions of SG-1.
Hammond: On the contrary, I would gladly hold myself responsible. I ordered them to this world in the first place.
Taldor: Is this an admission of guilt?
Major Kovacek: No.
Hammond: Yes, it is.
(Kovacek closes his eyes is frustration)

Daniel: What happened?
Jack: (In Irish accent) Well, you actually won a fight, Dannyboy.

Daniel: I don't particularly remember getting the upper hand.
Sam: Neither do I, but you must have.
Daniel: P2A-509.
Jack: A little brain damage along the way?

Jack: And this just came to you?
Daniel: No, it came to me while I was suffocating.

Daniel: Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey! They're first.
(The team comes up one at a time giving Daniel uneasy looks;
Daniel looks around like he's the big cool guy in charge)
Jack: Thank you.
Daniel: (Takes his bowl) Ok, well, I guess...
(The prisoners surround him going for the food, and he's shoved out)

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