>>Season Five Quotes<<

Episode: Asencsion
Teal'c: "I have heard of a place where humans do battle in a ring of Jell-o."
Jack: "Call Daniel" -- O'Neill

Episode: Upgrades
Jack: "Earth, Steaks, Theres a diffrence?!"

Episode: Beneath the Surface
*sg1 look at jack expecting him to tell them about his dreams*
Jack: "I dreamed about mining... naked."

Episode: Red Sky
Jack as the sky turns red: "Carter, please tell me im not having a stroke"

Jack to Sam just after she explained the most rediculous solution to the most rediculous problem to ever happen in stargate history...: "thats good, now you go back to the SGC and confuse Hammond..."

Episode: Between to Fires.
Jack to Travelle just after her telling him stuff: "do you people PRACTICE being vague?"

Episode: The Tomb
Valarin: "Did you hear that?"
Daniel: "What?"
Valarin: "Wait here," *he leaves.*
Daniel: "Yes.....you go down a dark hallway alone and I'll wait here in a dark room alone."

Episode: Threshold
Jack: "Valar, is that what he said?"
Daniel: "I thought he said velour."
Jack: "Velour?"
Daniel: "Velour."
Jack: "The fabric?"
Daniel: "That's what I heard him say."
Jack: "Why would he say that?"
Daniel: "I don't know. Why would he say Valar?"
Jack: "I don't know."

Teal'c: "Do not test my temper, woman!"
Daniel, startled: "Woman? Did he just call me a 'woman'?"
Jack: "Yes, I believe he did."

Episode: The Fifth Man
Jack: "Well, I wasn't going to let you die. It's like....a ton of paperwork."
*Tyler doesn't understand that reference. Jack tells him it's a joke.*
Jack: "It's my way of deflecting tension from my own obvious heroism."

Episode: The Fifth Man
Jack: "Uh, where's Tyler?"
Daniel: "You know, I would have asked him but I was too busy being unconscious after he shot me with the zat gun you gave him, so...."

Episode: 2001
Ambassador: "They made a star? How?"
Carter: "Well, theoretically, by increasing the density of a sufficiently massive gas giant until a thermonuclear reaction could take place. In fact, Arthur C. Clarke posited "
O'Neill: "Ambassador, you gotta be careful about the use of the word how', unless you really wanna know."

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