hehehe Jack is funny...these are quotes from season two...i will most likely update these when i find more...

Episode: "Prisoners"
Jack: "Teal'c, Look scary and take point"

Episode:"Bane"
Jack: "General, request permission to beat the CRAP out of this man!"

Episode: "One False Step"
Daniel: "we're not doing nothing"
Jack: "You're video taping a plant"
Daniel: "Well I think it might be important!"
Jack: "well I think you might be loosing what is left of your mind"
Daniel: "whats that supposed to mean?"
Jack: "it means on a good day you can be a little... flaky!"
Daniel: "And on a good day you can be a little ignorant and condescending!"
Jack: "Not condescending, you're obviously misreading a basic philosophical difference of an opinion on how to handle a crisis."
Daniel: "Oh Please! we have a difference of opinion on just about everything"
Jack: "give me an example"
Daniel: "Oh I don't know, pick something. How about... How about mythology?"
Jack: "Rumours, lies, fairytales" Daniel: *jumping up and down* you see! SEE! SEE! SEE! SEE! Mythology is one of the primary motovations for cultural development!"
Jack: "Maybe it is. Whats that got to do with filming a plant?"
Daniel: "Exactly!"
Jack: "what does that mean?!"
Daniel: "I don't know"

Episode: The Gamekeeper
Jack: "er, General with out meaning, this time, to sound like a smart ass, are you cracked?!"

Episode: Need
Jack: "We had a lovely time! Carter picked up some Naquada. Teal'c made friends, as usual. Daniel got ENGAGED!...I'm gonna hit the shower..."

episode: Prisoners
Jack: "Well this SUCKS!!!" after they get thrown into a jail.

Episode: The Fifth Race
Jack: "Weeellll!!! this was an INTERGALACTIC waste of time!"

Episode: 1969
Thornberg: "Im Major Robert Thornberg...and you are?"
Jack: "Captain James T Kirk... of the Starship Enterprise" *a little while later* JAck: My names not Kirk....its Skywalker, Luke Skywalker"

Episode: Message in a Bottle
Sam: "Do you think this might be a boobytrap?"
Teal'c: "booby?"

Episode: 1969
Hippy: "So, er, Your thing, that thing? wat does it symbolise? Peace?"
Teal'c: "Slavery, To false gods"
Hippy: "Right on! so, it's made out of what?"
Teal'c: "Do not discuss it further"
Hippy: "I dig, it's cool!"

Episode: Prisoners
Jack: "Alright, kids, we're due back. Unless you can tell me you've discovered something Earth shattering I'm ready to bag this one"
Daniel: "we practically just got here. We have no idea wat this planet has to offer!" Jack: "Trees and Moss"

Episode: Need
Shyla: "I know you must've seen much in your travels, but...surely you've never seen anything quite so beautiful. We call them trees"
Daniel: "AH! uh, So do we."

Episode: Bane
Homie Hobo: (something along these lines) "Hey, dude, whered u get ya tatoo?"
Teal'c: "Chulak."
Homie Hobo: "Chulak, Where's that? Like Eastside?

Episode: Bane
Girl: "You're sitting duck here."
Teal'c: "And Ducks are bad?"
Girl: "uhhhh, the sitting kind are"

Episode: Secrets
O'Neill: "If you do decide to go ahead with this. Its O'Neill with TWO 'L's. There is this other Colonel O'Neil with only one L hes got no sense of humour at all." (reference to the stargate movie. O'Neill waz spelt O'Neil and Kurt Russel made the ever wonderful Jack BORING!)

Episode: Message in a Bottle.
Sam: "This artifact has been doing this since Neanderthals were still a dominant species on Earth." (
Jack: "Ah, that takes me back..."

Episode: Touchstone
Jack: "Carter wants to get a closer look with her specialized Doohickeys"
General: "Doohickeys?"
Jack: "I believe thats a technical term Sir"

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