Episode: "Emancipation"
O'Neill: "The hell with culture. A member of my team has been neutralized. thats a hostile act!"
Daniel: "How is it that you always come up with the worse case senario?"
O'Neill: "I practice"


Episode: "Broca Divide"
O'Neill, about a planet Hammond was describing: "Let me guess. thats where we're going."
Hammond: "Very good Colonel."
O'Neill: "Thank You Sir. I pride myself on my deductive reasoning skills."


Season one, Episode: "The First Commandment"
O'Neill to the guards who just caught him and Connor: "Hey, How're you doing? You know, we'd love to stick around but some brain dead sycophant left my buddy out here to die. so we're out of here."
Guard Slaps Him.
O'Neill: "OW!"

Episode: "The First Commandment"
Daniel: This tastes like Chicken
Carter: Whats Wrong with that?
Daniel: This is Macaroni and Cheese.

Episode: "Cor'ai"
Teal'c: Goa'uld visit here regularly, its one of their favorite places to haverst hosts for Goa'uld absorption.
Daniel: You know I wish you wouldn't say harvest, we're talking about human beings....not brussel sprouts.
Teal'c: That is how the Goa'uld percieve it.

Episode: "Cor'ai"
Daniel: Thats interesting, I wonder if everyones coming from some religious event.
Jack: Why does it always have to be a religious event with you? Maybe their coming from a swapmeet.

Episode: "The Nox"
Daniel: I think their a family.
Jack: of what?

Episode: "Broca Divide"
Jack: She, ah, she tried to seduce me.
Daniel: Oh... you poor man.

Episode: "Children of the Gods"
Jack: Daniel was a scientist. he sneezed alot...basicly he was a geek sir.

Episode: "The Enemy Within"
Jack: If you don't make it, can I have your stereo?

Episode: "The First Commandment"
Jack: We're off to see the Wizard.

Episode: "The Nox"
Sam, about Nefrayu: No, We can't keep him..

Episode: "Solitudes"
Sam: Sir?
Jack: Its my side arm... I swear... no giggling please.

Episode: "Within the serpants grasp"???
Bra'tac: Now, we die!
Jack: That's a BAD plan!

Episode: "Broca Divide"
Jack: Watch our lovely backsides.

Episode: "Tin Man"
Jack: Well, they're all debating the meaning of life out there, both Daniels think this is all fascinating, the Carters are argueing already. Teal'c feels left out.

Episode: "Broca Divide"
Jack: Lucy...I'm home!
Teal'c: I am not Lucy.
Jack: I know that, it was a reference to an old...never mind, just open the door.
Teal'c: I cannot be certain you are back to being yourself...you refered to me as 'Lucy'.

Episode: "Children of the Gods"
Carter: It took us 15 years and 3 super computers to MacGyver a system for the Gate on Earth.

Episode: "Singularity"
Jack, to Sam and Daniel who are talking about black holes: Actually, it's called an Eucretion disk...
Daniel: Well I guess it's easy to understand why the local population would be afraid of something like th... WHAT did you just say?
Jack: It's just an Astronomical term.
Sam: You didn't think the Colonel had a telescope on his roof just to look at the neighboors did you?
Jack: Not initially.

Episode: "Cor'ai"???
Jack: Ladies and Gentlemen this is your Colonel speaking, welcome to P3x9er89er where it's a balmy... room temperature.

Episode: "Children of The Gods"
Daniel: I mean have you ever tried to grind your own flour?
Jack: I'm trying the kick the flour thing.

Episode: "Broca Divide"
Jack: I understand you got stabbed in the stomach or something?
Sam: Oh yah, it was nothing. With any luck there won't even be a scar.
Jack: Oh good. I was concerned.
Sam: You were?
Jack: Sure. If it doesn't heal properly you'll never wear that sweet little tank top again.

Episode: "Cold Lazarus"
Sam: I'd love to get this into the Spectrometre at Stanford.
Teal'c: Whats a Stanford?

Episode: "The Nox"
Anteaus: You must go.
Jack: Right. Well.. for now we'll just go over here.