Greenlee: Picture this scenario -- you and me at the airport. Me in a fab 3/4-length dress, you in your aviator sunglasses.
Leo: Can we make the dress a little shorter?
Frank: Why don't you stow the cool chick act, Simone. You know you want me.
Simone: Oh, duck -- it's the attack of the killer ego.
October 2
Kendall: Erica Kane on a shrink's couch. Finally. You might start by telling Dr. Mcfreud here about the night you grabbed a letter-opener and stabbed your dear husband Dimitri.
October 3
Erica: What were you doing in my new apartment? I haven't moved in yet. No one knew that I was there. I was simply waiting to surprise Chris Stamp.
Kendall: With a blunt object?
Erica: You know, I wouldn't stoop to suggesting what you can do with your so-witty remarks. Even with your lack of imagination, I'm sure you can figure it out. (to Kendall)
October 7
Trey: I admit I've done some things i'm not proud of.
Kendall: Like pouring kerosene all over my sister's bedroom?
David:I've got everything under control here.
Leo: Well, if this is "under control," i'd sure hate to see your life when it goes to hell
October 8
Tad:We have a full-fledged crisis on our hands.
Liza: Oh, well, I wouldn't have chosen that tie to go with that jacket, but --
Adam: What the hell are you grinning at?
Tad: You had me scared half to death. Thank god there's things you can count on. You gonna eat your croissant? (After Liza and Adam faked being all lovey-dovey)
Tad:How about sharing a porterhouse with a rakishly good-looking gentleman?
Brooke: Are you asking me to dinner?
Tad: No, I was talking about Jamie. I'm a couple of years past rakish.
october 10
Brooke: It's weird.
Jamie: Yeah, he's a freak.
Brooke: No, I mean I was thinking about David, and then he walked in.
Tad: Well, by all means, start thinking of a noose
October 15
Adam: Why don't you drop the attitude?
J.R.: Why don't you drop dead?
Maggie:Maybe I could try to be what leo was to you. I mean, I know i can't replace him, but --
Bianca: No. No, you're not tall enough.
October 22
Kendall: I prefer you to aidan like i prefer measles to the plague. (to Trey)
October 23
Tad: How's your research on Maria's memory loss going, hmm? Any breakthroughs? Don't tell me -- you forgot! (to Brooke)
October 24
Adam: You're mean when you're drunk.
Brooke: You're mean when you're sober!
Waitress: Martini, very dry, two olives?
Brooke: Make it three. I need the veggies.
Brooke: Your shoes don't fit me, adam. And I will hazard a guess that they don't fit you anymore, either.
Adam: My shoes were handmade in rome. They damn well better fit.
Brooke: Think metaphor.
October 29
Greenlee: What about these(drugs)? Will these at least get me to numb?
David: Yes, they'll get you to numb. They'll kill you.
Greenlee: Perfect.
October 30
Erica: Well, this isn't my first wedding(try 10th...)
Chris: My cousin June -- she loves plaid. She's worn plaid since she was a tiny kid. Eyeglasses to shoes, plaid.
Opal:just, you know, doing anything they could, offering me cash money to get dirt on you(Erica).
Chris: That's -- that's great. We'll just make up some stories and let them pay for the wedding!!!
October 31
Jamie: If it'll make dad happy, I'm willing to go drag as erica.
Brooke: Oh, oh, that's such an image.
J.R.: Hey, hey! James! Ease up. You'll scare the little spongebobs out of their squarepants. (To jamie, when he's repeatedly jabbing a knife in a pumpkin)