Lucy: There's another illegitimate Quartermaine in this world? Who did you have an affair with to make this Skye person? How old is this Skye? Oh my gosh, you did NOT have an affair while you were with me!
(To Alan)
Scott: Speechless Lucy? Too bad you can't stay like that.
Lucy: You know those two losers who dumped us? They must be related! (to Jack about Kevin and Livvie)
Lucy: Trust me.
Kevin: There it is! The phrase of death!
Scott: She's addicted to you; she's like a junkie! (To Kevin about Lucy)
Kevin: Living with Lucy might mean a lifetime of therapy but what the heck, she's worth it
Lucy: Your fine? YOUR FINE?! An obsessive sociopath comes and almost blows you to Kingdom come and your Little Mary Sunshine like it's just another day in the neighborhood?! (To Felicia)
Lucy: When Doc gets back, I'm gonna attempt to be the perfect wife. I may even cook!
Lucy: Guess where I'm not!
Kevin: Everywhere but here?
Lucy: Well, I guess we're gonna have to start facing reality. kevin, if we don't stop trying to make love to each other, I am afraid one of us, or both of us, is going to end laid out, flat on a slab, in the morgue.
Kevin: And in some excruciatingly embarrassing situation, no doubt
Lucy: I'm going to join a convent. You know, I look really good in black.
Rafe: Oh yeah, and you'd be really good at that vow of silence thing they have.
Livvie: Ta.
Lucy: No. No "ta" for you.
Lucy: Guess what? Kevin and I are getting married, for sure. And we are planning the wedding of the century. It's going to be the best wedding ever... well, the best one I've ever had. And I've had quite a few!
Lucy- What do you think her first words are gonna be?
Scott- Well I hope it's not TA. (about Christina)
Inspection guy- Isn't it unsanitary to keep a duck in the house?
Lucy- He understands everything you're saying.
Inspection guy- Allright. Isn't having a D-U-C-K
Lucy- Oh brother. He knows how to spell okay? Ugh.
Rafe: Your heart, it's never steered you wrong before. What's it saying now?
Lucy: Doc.
Lucy: Well, you know what? I -- i don't want you listening to this music at all.
Serena: Why?
Lucy: Because it's weird and it's creepy. And because that's what I tell you to do so do what i tell you. That's what I say, huh? I told you to, that's why.
Serena: Thanks a lot, mom.
Lucy: Well -- oh, my god. I sound like Tipper Gore.
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