Erica: No time off for good behavior.
Greenlee: And a bunkmate named Bubba who wants to be his special friend. (about Trey going to jail)
Jake: Do you feel that you need to stick that surgically altered nose into everyone's business?!
Greenlee: What did you say about my nose?
Leo: Ok! Hey, hey, hey, hey! I got an idea. All right? Why don't we give Pine Valley something they'll never forget? Huh? How about a double wedding?
Kendall: What? No! That's not even funny!
Greenlee: I'd rather be nibbled to death by tiny animals!
Jake: We can toss back shots of tequila and listen to the Alman Brothers
Greenlee: The who?
Jake: Them, too!
Greenlee: You know what? I mourned. I grieved. I went to Paris!
Greenlee: Let go of me, you old swamp tramp! (To Kendall)
Simone: It's legal... in all 50 states.
Greenlee: Hallelujah!
Greenlee: Oh, look. It's the human chastity belt and Dudley Do-Right. (about Becca and Leo)
Leo: Great. I'll order a bottle of the establishment's finest.
Greenlee: And still have change from a $5 bill. I don't do domestic, honey.
Greenlee: I'm not exceptionally hungry
Carlos: Why?
Greenlee: This wouldnt be the first time my mother's killed my appetite
Greenlee: You fall in love faster than it takes to make microwave popcorn (to Simone)
Greenlee: Is this National Play-Dumb-For-Greenlee Day?
Simone: Guys, you are so not going to believe what just happened.
Greenlee: The sisters of perpetual lawsuits have accepted you as a novitiate?
Greenlee: I don't believe this. You're going to drag your bony butt to the hospital, rub on Erica's leg and mew like a love-starved cat. (to Kendall)
Kendall: This world is clean and alive and beautiful.
Greenlee: What have you been smoking?
Mia: Yeah, it's like when you go to a restaurant and the menu's as thick as a phone book and you can't decide between the cajun shrimp and the avocado spring roll, but then you get a sudden urge for a veggie burger and the works, and don't even get me started on dessert.
Greenlee: Is this work or virtual dining?
Greenlee: And that soap when you played the judge -- please, you stole the entire show. (To Montel...he played a judge on AMC)
Greenlee: Yeah. Um, listen, Jeremy
Jeremy: Uh-- Jer-bear.
Greenlee: I don't care if it's Yogi Bear!
Greenlee: Fine. Like you care what my mother has to say, anyway. You're already marrying one self-centered nightmare. Nobody needs two. (To Jackson)
Mary: You two(Greenlee and Jack) have something in common
Greenlee: Wanting to be as far away from you as possible?