Mia: All right, so what should we add to make it(the lip color) thicker, corn starch or flour?
Simone: You've got to be kidding me.
Mia: What? It works in gravy.
Simone: It's not gravy.
Kendall: How the hell did you land a doctor?
Greenlee: Over my dead body.
Kendall: Ok, let's all take a vote. All in favor of doing it over Greenlee's dead body, raise your hand. (about making the lip color)
Greenlee: How did I get involved with you people?
Simone: Because you have no friends.
Kendall: And you're phenomenally lucky.
Greenlee: You taste the lipstick you wear, don't you? Mia, take a little sip.
Mia: Why me? I'm not tasting this. No.
Kendall: You thought it was gravy five minutes ago.
Erica: "Fusion", better known as "Confusion"...
2/4
Simone: How did you get to be so cynical?
Greenlee: I don't know. Let me think. Was it when my best friend slept with my father or when my husband got killed by his homicidal mother?
2/6
Kendall: I don't even censor myself when I talk to him the way I usually do, not to sound stupid.
Greenlee: You do? I hadn't noticed.
Greenlee: Carlos forgives me. He thinks I'm a bitch because my husband died.
Simone: Well, I can tell him that you've always been a bitch.
2/10
Michael: How about beluga and foie gras?
Kendall: Ew! Oh! Stinky fish eggs and organ meat? I'd rather chew on this chair.
2/11
Michael: Maybe Kendall would like to speak for herself.
Greenlee: Maybe you should walk blindly into oncoming traffic.
2/14
Mia: Guys! Guys, guys, guys, guys! You are never going to guess what I just made happen!!!!!!
Greenlee: You increased your bust size with the power of positive thinking?
Simone: Oh, I want to do that!!!!
Mia: The moon is full and there's champagne and the two of you are dancing to music that only you can hear.
Greenlee: In your case, Mia, that would be a looney tune.
2/17
Simone: Well, you know, it (Valentines) is not even really a real holiday. You know, it's just like a hype to sell candy, flowers, sappy cards.
Kendall: You wouldn't be saying that if you had a date.
Simone: Ok. Could you guys maybe just excuse me for a few hours?
Kendall: Why? So you can dig into his (Kenny's) legal briefs?
Simone: That's very funny.
Greenlee: I thought he was more the boxers type, myself.
2/18
J.R.: That's un-freaking-believable. (and you're re-freaking-tarded)
Tour Guide at Atlantis: Over here we have the groupers. Now, something interesting about these groupers. They start off their sexual lifestyles as females. Once they mature, they transfer into males!
Kendall: "Open on tight shot of Ling-Ling's decolletage"? (reading Petey's screenplay)
Petey: That's French for "cleavage."
Kendall: I know what that is!!
2/19
Petey: Nanny K! Nanny K!
Simone: Nanny K! Nanny K! (imitating Petey)
2/21
Simone: Officer, I get a phone call.
Hooker Lady: Call the wizard and ask for a brain.
2/25
Simone: Your brother, he's a pig.
Tad: My brother is a confused pig.
Simone: So, is that what you guys are calling it now when you cheat on your fiancee: confused? That's convenient.
2/26
Greenlee: We're selling a look, not our bodies.
Simone: Oh, please. We're selling sex.