Eve: I can't help that.
Chris: They'll be X-rated dreams of course.
Eve: Do you have any other kind?
Chris: Not of you!
Eve: You have no idea what it's like to live with someone who does no wrong!
Chris: Yes I do
Eve: You live alone
Chris: I rest my case...
Eve: The enormity of your ego is overwelming!
Chris: You should try the rest of me. (Kisses her)
Lucy: Eve, does Scott pay you to kiss other men on company time?
Eve: This isn't a man, it's just Chris.
Chris: There's nothing like justice, is there?
Rachel: Revenge
Chris: Don't tempt me
Eve: So have you told Rex yet?
Kevin: Oh, I have something better in mind for Rex.
Eve: Oh God, should I close my eyes?
Chris: I'd love to stay and chat, but I have an appointment with Mr. Martini and the olive twins.
Chris: I have some miserable form of Torrets where I can't stop telling the truth.
Jack: Ok, are you on drugs?
Serena: When Grandma and I got stuck, we used her cell phone to call for help.
Eve: Yeah, well when I was a kid, we had carrier pigeons.
Serena: Cool!!
Eve: Hey! Wait a minute, I'm not that old! I was just kidding!
Caleb: You seem nervous, Ramsey. Is it me?
Chris: Quite frankly, yes, it is you. See, I find it a little unsettling to be chatting here in my living room with a recently deceased vampire.
Alison: How stupid was I?
Eve: Well, now this is just beggin for a blonde joke.
Courtney: Chris Ramsey, you are a very naughty boy.
Chris: Well I try to be.
Eve(on the phone):No, you cannot catch HIV from a doctor sneezing in the exam room!
Chris: Well, I have some schedules to make ... some interns to torture
Chris:I'm going home to my very beautiful, very innocent wife. (Julie)
Eve:If she's innocent, I'm a virgin.
Chris:It only feels that way because you've been with Kevin for so long.
Eve:Will you be sitting with us, Chris, or did you reserve a table for you and your ego?
Chris:Do you want to play a game?
Eve:Do I get to keep my clothes on?
Scott: Ramsey, you know, you're a lot dumber than you look.
Chris: And you apparently cut your own hair.
Chris: Oh this is great! Bar tables against the forces of evil!(When the walls of "Tempted" close in)
Eve: Hey, listen, I would never just fix you up for the heck of it. OK? Please, just--do this. Trust me, you won't regret it.
Chris: Trust you? OK, fine, one date, but that's it. And I'm warning you, if she tries to impregnate me with her two-headed martian love child, you're paying for college.
Chris: What's with the hair, hon? It looks like you threw it up in the air and ran under it!(To Tess, thinking it's Livvie)
Chris: My main goal is to take over the world, but first I have to get rid of Batman.
Chris: Me, myself, and I - my three favorite people.
Chris: No. I am refusing treatment because you're a pain in the ass.
Elizabeth: Excuse me?
Chris: You're excused. And you're still a pain in the ass.
Lucy: You've seen my balls?
Chris: Just two of them